How do you know when it is the right time to euthanize your pet

[amarberry]

I think that this might be the first time that I've started a thread on the Community Board. I'm just so confused and conflicted about what is the right thing to do with my cat. There seems to be a lot of animal lovers on the Dis, so I thought maybe someone could give me some insight,

My cat, Stormy, is almost 13 years old. I got him a few months out of college when he was about 2.5 yo after he had been shuffled around a few different homes. In November, he started having some medical issues and, after taking him to the vet, it was suspected that he had lymphoma. The only way to confirm lymphoma was to either do a biopsy or exploratory surgery. The two treatment options were chemo or anti-inflammatory/steriod treatments. According to my vet, chemo is not very successful in cats for this type of cancer (it will only by them a few extra weeks or a couple of extra months). We decided to decline the more invasive diagnosis method and started treating him with anti-inflammatory shots and a prescription diet(which would also be the treatment for IBS, which is what would be causing his condition if it wasn't cancer).

Towards the end of December (12/22), he didn't seem to be responding very well to the shots, so I took him to see another vet in the same practice. This time she ran blood work and did an xray. It was much more clear after running these tests that we were dealing with lymphoma. We switched to a twice a day oral steriod. His blood work also indicated an infection, so we started him on antibiotics. She also gave him a vitamin B shot and fluids. At this visit, the vet informed me that cats at this stage of lymphoma typically have a life expentancy of 2 months. I was heartbroken.

I took him back in last night. After the vitamin B shot and fluids, he perked up a bit and was eating well. In the last week, his appetite has declined drastically (only eating a few bites). The news was not good at all last night. His kidney has become enlarged, he has a rather large mass in stomach that wasn't there when his xray was taken on 12/22, and he is showing signs of jaundice/liver failure. The vet said that he probably only has a couple of weeks left. They gave him an anti-inflammatory shot (so he doesn't have to endure me trying to squirt medicine down his throat twice a day), a vitamin B shot, and fluids. She sent us home with more antibiotics and moraphine.

I don't know what to do right now. He doesn't appear to be in pain. He is moving around a fair amount. He is purring and being very affectionate. Since getting the vitamin shot and the fluids, he has been eating very well. I don't want him do live in agony, but I also don't want to put him to sleep prematurely. I feel pretty sure that having him die in my arms being petted would be a better experience than dying alone in my closet or something. I asked our vet how I would know it was the right time to euthanize and she just said that I'd know. I'm just scared that I won't know. So I guess that is my question if anyone is still reading after all of this...how do you know when it is the right time to put your pet to sleep? My heart is breaking and I just can't stop thinking about this.

Thanks.

 

[Cantw8]

To me, when they are in pain or are not experiencing "quality" living

 

[Anewman]

I don't want him do live in agony, but I also don't want to put him to sleep prematurely.

We eutanized "THE KARMA" last AUG, it just came down to her having good days and bad days. BUT even her good days were not really "good", just not as bad as the other days.

I had not cried in Decades, but the day I put her down I was like a big 6' 1",240 pound baby. It was a very sad day, and everyday I look at the spot we used to have her basket and sometimes my eyes glass over.

But looking back I would rather be the one suffering with sadness, than to have had her go through another bad day.

 

[M 'n C]

You will know. I know its confusing but I never thought I would know when to put my old cat down but after a month of trying to help him and keep him alive I could tell he wasn't getting better - actually getting worse and nothing could be done. Something about that morning when he wasn't doing too well I knew it was time and said my goodbye before my mom took him (I was 23 at the time and couldn't handle it). It was a very hard decision to make but it was the right one because he died before the doctor could give him the medicine.

Big hugs. I know how sad you must be feeling.

 

[Virgo10]

When one of our cats got sick several years ago, I also wondered if I'd know when it was time to let him go. He had been gradually slowing down and one day I got down on the floor with him and he looked at me like he had never done before. His look told me that he was really tired and there wasn't anything more I could do for him. When we brought him to the Vet and they put him to sleep he went so easy. I held him in my arms and he just slipped away.

The only thing that comforted me in those early days was the thought that, although my heart was breaking, he wouldn't have to spend another day with a less than quality life.

When your cat's life becomes a series of endless trips to the Vet for a few days respite, I think that's when it's time to let go.

My thoughts will be with you.

 

[singingpixie]

My cat that we'd gotten when I was 6 (I'm 22 now) died a year ago last month. She had kidney disease and had been sickly for quite a while, but when it was time to go, my mom definitely knew. My mom said it seemed like Ariel had waited until she got home and even moved into the room she was in, and ended up meowing in such a weird way that mom just knew. She called the vet, brought her in and she was put to sleep that night. Sorry if that was too discriptive, but I thought an example of how clear it would be might help. I'm so sorry you're losing your dear cat!

 

[va32h]

I was in this same situation last October (but with a dog).

I didn't want to feel that I had "given up" on her too soon, but at the same time, I didn't want her to suffer. In the end, I waited too long, and she ended up dying at the vet's office, which is not what I would have wanted for her.

 

[LakeAriel]

Hi Anne

I am sorry you are going through this, my brother is in about the same boat with his labrador as we speak.
If your kitty is not in pain and feels loved and safe in your home, let her die there, IMO. I have 5 cats, and had 2 who died young at home, one in my arms.
Last June I made an appt to put my 13 year old Golden Retreiver down because she could no longer get up and had wet herself. Her back legs had been bad for many months. I just cried and cried..Then before the appointment she stood up...I realized I was conflicted because she was a cripple but not ill or in pain. I showed up at the Vets without her and spoke with the Vet. He explained she probably had a form of neuropathy, similar to MS in humans. Knowing it was paralysis vs arthritis made a big difference in our approach and explained alot. She was put on two experimental meds and here it is 7 months later, Jenny will be 14 in May, and she has regained much of her hind quarter mobility. My point is you will know when it is time to help her go. I saw my Golden with that famous "smile" of theirs and couldn't do it. If your precious pet is still enjoying life I believe you should allow her whatever time God or nature grants her. I think you will know when enough is enough. Whatever decision you make, it will be made with love. Remember that and all the love you have given her for 13 years.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

It's never an easy decision. For me, I just knew the exact time to bring Ricky. I had agonized over it for a few days, and one minute I just looked at him and knew it was time. He knew it too. So just go with your heart and you will know if he is suffering and you will know it's time

 

[lyzziesmom]

I knew with my cat Jake that it was time to put him down when he just wasn't acting like himself anymore. He had a baseball-sized tumor on his side that had ruptured to the point where we had to wrap him in an ace bandage and put a little tshirt on him to cover the open sore. Even with this, he still was outside every day, hunting rabbits and birds, and was very affectionate and loving as usual. He had some bad days, but usually only for a little while and his energy remained pretty high for a long time. Then one day, he just laid around the house, hardly picked up his head when pet, and just thumped the very tip end of his tail. That's how I knew... he just wasn't "himself" anymore. This was about 2 years ago and I'm crying right now remembering it. It's very hard, and you want to hold on to them as long as you can, but one day you will see that you just can't anymore.

 

[JC Drake]

I have no advice to give that is better than what has already been posted, but as a pet owner, my heart goes out to you.

 

[amarberry]

Thank you all. It's very reassuring to know that there most likely will be a moment when I will know it is the right time. When the vet said that to me, I wasn't sure if she was serious or just trying to be gentle with me. I was a bit of a wreak when she told me he only had a couple of more weeks. The news hit me like a ton of bricks.

It definitely doesn't feel like the right time is now. He's hanging out next to me right now just purring away. He seems very content. It might sound selfish, but I just want to enjoy his company a little while longer.

 

[java]

I have been avoiding taking our old man to the vet. Harry is an almost 13 year old english bulldog. He is deaf. I am afraid to go to the vet to find out something is wrong with him. He seems to be fine. I am hoping I will just know when it is time.....

 

[hopemax]

Our first cat developed a tumor behind one of her eyes, and there was nothing the vet could do, and so my parents and I knew we would have to deal with the "when." And in our experience, yeah, we did know. Our cat was always very independant, bossy, loved to play. As the tumor got bigger, she became more listless, and wanted to be held all the time, which was very unusual for her. And in other ways she stopped being her.

The day we took her was incredibly hard. She had always loved to ride the car, and so when we got in the van, she perked up, head bobbing around, walking from one side of the seat to the other, looking out the window. For the ten minutes, she was her old self. But it was a reminder of how much she had changed over the previous month. I stayed in the car, my parents took her in, but they chose not to be there, and stayed in the waiting room. My mom said that they could hear her cry. I wish now I would have been with her, but I was 15, so what did I know. And then we all bawled our eyes out. Heck, I am crying now and that was 16 years ago.

I understand about dying in your arms. We had an almost 14 year old dog, and my Dad took her to the vet because we could tell she hadn't been feeling well. While they were drawing blood, she apparently had a heart attack, and she died in my Dad's arms. It's comforting to know that she didn't die alone.

 

[luvwinnie]

I am so so sorry. Have you discussed with your vet when the "time" might be? Since she/he knows your pet, he is more informed than we are. I think, however, that you just KNOW sometimes...you can see it in their eyes.

 

[luvwinnie]

I have been avoiding taking our old man to the vet. Harry is an almost 13 year old english bulldog. He is deaf. I am afraid to go to the vet to find out something is wrong with him. He seems to be fine. I am hoping I will just know when it is time.....

Awww, my baby is a bulldog too. She will be 9 in May. Aren't they THE BEST? So glad to hear your senior bully is doing fine. But PLEASE do take him for a check up! There are so many things that can be treated if found early.

 

[freckles and boo]

Thank you all. It's very reassuring to know that there most likely will be a moment when I will know it is the right time. When the vet said that to me, I wasn't sure if she was serious or just trying to be gentle with me. I was a bit of a wreak when she told me he only had a couple of more weeks. The news hit me like a ton of bricks.

It definitely doesn't feel like the right time is now. He's hanging out next to me right now just purring away. He seems very content. It might sound selfish, but I just want to enjoy his company a little while longer.

I am so sorry. I've been there. When you decide it is time for him to go, please try to take a friend with you so you have someone to support and comfort you. Losing a pet is a very real loss.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I read this somewhere: write down five things that your pet enjoys, as you see them losing those things check them off the list.(are they still eating well, can they still play with their favorite toy, do they still enjoy being with you...). Of course, you have to make sure they are not suffering or in pain, etc.... I agree with the "you will know" if people are realistic, but at the same time have seen people, who deeply love their pets, but are in denial.

 

[horseshowmom]

We had to put our beagle down just before Christmas due to liver disease. She had good days and bad days but got around okay and still enjoyed getting attention. We knew the end was coming but held off as long as we could.

That Saturday, she vomited once or twice. On Sunday, she was sick several more times, and I could see how bad she felt. It was just time. I didn't want to make her suffer.

I called our vet, broke down on the phone, and he told me to meet him at the office. He came out to the truck to euthanize her, because he knew how much she hated going to the vet's office.

I've had to have this done several times, and it doesn't really get any easier. Best wishes...

 

[minniecarousel]

See - I'm not at this point yet. Our 13 year-old tabby may have a brain tumor. We won't know until we do an MRI. I'm just not ready to give up yet. He doesn't seem to be in pain.

I'm hoping that I'll "know" when it's time too.