How do you handle kids with birthdays close to Christmas?

[piperdown]

My birthday is 12/22. Very early on, my mom decided that we would celebrate my birthday the first weekend in December. She would never, ever put Christmas decorations up until my birthday was over with. We'd usually do the kid's party on Saturday, and a family party on Sunday. Birthday wrapping paper only, God help you if you showed up with a 'joint birthday/Christmas' gift OR wrapped it in Christmas paper! LOL (Obviously this refers to family, she wouldn't have been rude to my little friend's parents...LOL).

My sister's b-day is 1/18 so she didn't want to make it in late January as that then made it so she had to do parties 2 weekends in a row...plus we're in CT so snow/ice can always be an issue in January. Not so much in December.

So the first weekend of December it was! I'll be 40 this year , and I never, ever felt 'birthday deprived'.

I love your mom!! My birthday is 12/15, and many, many, many birthdays, my presents were wrapped in Christmas paper, and sometimes, I was told to just pick something from under the tree as my birthday present. It still makes me sad.

 

[kacaju]

I love having my birthday close to Christmas too, but I wanted birthday parties with all my friends too.... Celebrating my birthday in June allowed me that... I also had a pool in my backyard, so that made for fun June parties. I don't think you should knock something (like celebrating a December birthday in June) until you've tried it!

We have a pool in our yard and we have plenty of pool parties.

My dd was not born in June, she was born in Dec. In Dec she has a Birthday Party, in June she has a end of school year pool party.

As I said, I always hold her Birthday Party as close to her Birthday as possible (the weekend before or after her Birthday..depending on what works for us) Last year I had her Birthday party on her actual Birthday, a Tuesday from 5-8pm. It was great. The kids had one more 1/2 day of school the next day. No one had homework and all after school activites are done by that week.
In 10 years we have never had an issue with her friends not being able to make it to her party.

What happens to siblings of those who have Christmas Birthdays? Do they in turn want to have 1/2 year parties? Is that fair to them that they only get to celebrate once and the Dec kid gets two celebrations?

To each their own. When I had her I had so many Dec Birthday people tell me how they didn't like their Dec Birthdays because no one had time for them. I do my best to be sure my dd loves having her Birthday in Dec. I never want her to feel that we are *too busy* or *too crazy* to celebrate with her.

 

[piperdown]

My birthday is the 15th of Dec. Growing up, I never had a birthday party because it was too close to Christmas. My parents never thought of having one earlier/later, either. I hated it. They'd even give me gifts wrapped in Christmas party.

I know it makes me sound like an extremely spoiled brat, and I take full ownership of that fact. But, it really upset me to never have a day for myself like the other kids did.

Now that I'm older, my DH makes my birthday special by making one day all about me, and buys the tackiest birthday wrapping paper possible to wrap my gifts in, LOL.

Both of my children are summer babies, but I always said that if we had a Christmastime baby that they would have the same attention paid to them as if their birthday was any other time of the year, complete with a party, presents, or a day where they choose to do whatever they want.

Wow...I'm 12/15 too!! My birthday experiences were very similar to yours. My parents just didn't see what the big deal was. DH understands my plight...his birthday is 12/6.

 

[luvmesometigger]

My birthday is the December 27th too.

I always had a friend party a few weeks before. As I got older, they became slumber parties. Then, on my birthday, whatever family members could come.

My mom always made a big fuss over my birthday. She still does as a matter of fact. Special dinner. Balloons. Etc....

 

[Minnie Melissa]

My birthday is December 30th. My parents always kept my birthday separate from the Christmas festivities. I love having my birthday in December. My parents have always made it special and so does my DH!!!

 

[amylynne01]

DD's birthday is Jan 3rd (which also happens to be our wedding anniversary ). She's turning 3 this year (and we are celebrating 8 years!) We are having a party on Jan 1. I'm hoping that most people don't have plan's on New Year's day. For the past two years we've had a pretty good turn out.

I like the fact that her birthday is after Christmas.
One of her friend's birthdays is Dec 20 and lots of people miss her party bc of Christmas activities.
Also, I remember being let down on Dec 26th every year bc the fun of Christmas was over. Now she has something fun to look forward to.
We always have our tree down just after Christmas so hopefully she will feel like her day is separate from the holiday.

Something else to consider my niece's birthday is July 3rd and seriously only about half of the people they invite to her party come because of vacation!

I keep telling DH that in a few years we MUST do a Disney trip to celebrate her B-Day and our anniversry.

Hey, we're an Amy and Jason too and our DD is almost 3 too! Weird.

I'm surprised by how many people think it is such a big deal to have a birthday close to Christmas. Really its only as big a deal as you make it. Why all the "rules" like no Christmas decorations until after the birthday, no combined gifts... I don't get it. Our decorations go up Thanksgiving weekend before either of my boys December birthdays. They are usually still up on my DH's Jan 2nd birthday.

I agree with not making a December birthday a big deal - 1/12 of the population has birthdays in December so it's nothing new. But I don't agree with combined gifts for Christmas and birthday. Here's my thought. My DD2 was born in May, so she gets birthday presents and Christmas presents - no overlap. My DD1 was born in December, and she should get the same treatment as any other kid who has a birthday party. We make 5/17 a special day for DD2, so 12/22 should be a special day for DD1. I typically am not all about making things fair so no one gets their feelings hurt (it's life - not everything is equal), but to me, this is important.

 

[LaurenLC]

We have a pool in our yard and we have plenty of pool parties.

My dd was not born in June, she was born in Dec. In Dec she has a Birthday Party, in June she has a end of school year pool party.

As I said, I always hold her Birthday Party as close to her Birthday as possible (the weekend before or after her Birthday..depending on what works for us) Last year I had her Birthday party on her actual Birthday, a Tuesday from 5-8pm. It was great. The kids had one more 1/2 day of school the next day. No one had homework and all after school activites are done by that week.
In 10 years we have never had an issue with her friends not being able to make it to her party.

What happens to siblings of those who have Christmas Birthdays? Do they in turn want to have 1/2 year parties? Is that fair to them that they only get to celebrate once and the Dec kid gets two celebrations?

To each their own. When I had her I had so many Dec Birthday people tell me how they didn't like their Dec Birthdays because no one had time for them. I do my best to be sure my dd loves having her Birthday in Dec. I never want her to feel that we are *too busy* or *too crazy* to celebrate with her.

Glad your child is happy about celebrating her birthday in December, I'm sure lots of people are. The point of my post was to simply point out that you don't have to 'get' why people do things, but you don't have to come across like it's stupid for them to do it either! A lot of people have parties with friends on a day that isn't their birthday and then a small family gathering on their actual birthday. This results in 2 parties... I don't think you have to have been born in December for that to happen. As you said, to each their own.

 

[mjantz]

Another December birthday kid here. My parents did a great job of separating the 2 events. I had birthday & Christmas presents & they were totally separate. A few things that 'get me':

-Any joint birthday & Christmas gift must be MY decision. I've asked in the past for a few 'joint' items but I'd be annoyed if someone decided for me to give me a joint gift.

-As I've gotten older I'm not as hung up on celebrating it on the actual day but I do want it to be its own celebration. Last year we celebrated it 10 days after the fact but we went to a really nice restaurant of my choice.

-In college the worst part was my birthday was always during finals week. So I normally had a final or was studying for one on my birthday. It hugely stank.


AFA half birthdays, I would have liked that because I didn't get gifts except birthdays & Christmas pretty much so I got EVERYTHING in less than a month. I like that my kids (who have summer birthdays) get things a bit more spread out. I was also very happy when I got married & became a Mom because that meant gifts in a month other than December.

 

[Goingon40]

Being a Christmas Eve baby, up to my late teens, my mom most of the time had my birthday "party" on Thanksgiving - always a family affair. Never had a birthday party with other children. I was always fine with that. The cake, ice cream, favors, games played. The entire family was all together, weather better, and the attention was on me. Since my entire family put greater emphasis on birthday presents than Christmas presents I always got a lot more and more expensive gifts for birthday than on Christmas (not Santa Claus) and was always reminded of this too. Yes, I still feel cheated to this day. However, on Christmas Eve, she would still make my favorite cake and decorate it and take me out to my favorite place to eat for early lunch. She never forgot it, nor did my grandmother, however, the rest of my family was too wrapped up with Christmas Eve and would forget - they had to be reminded. Even my dad would forget it sometimes. As I got older and now today, I still ask for my birthday cake on Christmas Eve. I still ask for my favorite meal of roast beef, carrots, potatoes, but we argue about it and I give in and tell her it is okay to fix it on the Sunday before my birthday. Now my entire family which sadly is down to Mom, Sis, and Nephew go out and have lunch where I choose, church, then home to open birthday presents and have my favorite cake and ice cream. (I have too pay for my own birthday dinner, ugh!!) Then on to the Christmas presents. It is hard on a mother or father with children born on or very near to Christmas on when to celebrate a birthday for a child and most people who have birthdays near this date I have met has, like myself, felt cheated -- on the present end only. However, I do love my mom very much for how/when she celebrated my birthday.

 

[RMulieri]

I'm surprised by how many people think it is such a big deal to have a birthday close to Christmas. Really its only as big a deal as you make it. Why all the "rules" like no Christmas decorations until after the birthday, no combined gifts... I don't get it. Our decorations go up Thanksgiving weekend before either of my boys December birthdays. They are usually still up on my DH's Jan 2nd birthday.

My DS 8yrs is proud to have his birthday on Christmas day. If you ask him he will tell you proudly that he shares a birthday with Jesus and Jimmy Buffett. He is really easy going about it. Of course I make a point to tell him happy birthday in the morning. I also tell him Merry Christmas. He knows how special he is to us. The date of his birthday doesn't matter. I think he likes the fact that we celebrate with a party 2 weeks early because then he gets his birthday presents sooner!

It probably isn't a big deal for some people.For my daughter it has meant family giving her ONE gift for both birthday and christmas when everyone gets separate gifts.To me It really is not a big deal, but try explaining that to a child and sometimes they just don't understand.It has also meant family and friends never showing up to her party the first few years because it was simply too close to Christmas, even when I held it weeks before or 2 weeks after .In recent years she is understanding more, but it was hard initially when she saw all her cousins having separate birthday gifts ,parties etc .and was wondering why nobody cared about her special day

 

[kacaju]

Glad your child is happy about celebrating her birthday in December, I'm sure lots of people are. The point of my post was to simply point out that you don't have to 'get' why people do things, but you don't have to come across like it's stupid for them to do it either! A lot of people have parties with friends on a day that isn't their birthday and then a small family gathering on their actual birthday. This results in 2 parties... I don't think you have to have been born in December for that to happen. As you said, to each their own.

I never met to imply it was stupid to do a half Birthday party in June. I simply stated that my dd's Birthday is in Dec, not June. I will not celebrate her Dec Birthday in June

 

[kacaju]

one thing we always do for dd. On Dec 22nd our Christmas tree becomes her Birthday Tree. I blow up a bunch of balloons and we stuff them all over in the tree. So for that one day our tree is full of Birthday balloons.

 

[lyncecelia]

DBF's DD6's birthday is December 5th (Walt Disney's birthday!) and it never crossed my mind that I would give her joint gifts etc.

We are having her "parties" that weekend (theme is Fancy Nancy--she loves the books and her name is Nancy, so it works )

But yes, our apartment will be decorated for Christmas (no idea about her mom's place though). We are decorating the weekend of Thanksgiving. I 100% doubt it'll be an issue for her....

 

[mrsltg]

It is hard on a mother or father with children born on or very near to Christmas on when to celebrate a birthday for a child and most people who have birthdays near this date I have met has, like myself, felt cheated -- on the present end only. However, I do love my mom very much for how/when she celebrated my birthday.

I am so sorry this is your experience, but it's just that - your experience. My older dd does not feel cheated in anyway. Christmas is her favorite time of year and having her birthday in that time frame just enhances the whole season. My youngest dd gets to celebrate her birthday on New Year's Eve, and my dh's birthday is New Year's Day. We party like rock stars for about 3.5 weeks! Each individual gets their own birthday presents, birthday meal, and cake. Even youngest dd and dh get separate cakes - their birthdays are one day apart, but they are different people and, frankly, it's not that hard to bake a cake! My family makes a huge deal out of each birthday (cards, gifts, calls are all separate) and none of the birthday people feel cheated in anyway. To each their own.

FYI - DH and I decided when we were expecting dd3 that if she were born on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, we would celebrate her half birthday as well as her regular birthday.

 

[LaurenLC]

one thing we always do for dd. On Dec 22nd our Christmas tree becomes her Birthday Tree. I blow up a bunch of balloons and we stuff them all over in the tree. So for that one day our tree is full of Birthday balloons.

That is a REALLY cute idea!

 

[samshane]

My mom was born 12/23 - growing up her parents always combined her b-day with Christmas and her sister b-day (12/8).

So when I was born 12/30 - my mom vowed she would never do that and I always had separate birthdays. She made it a huge deal - cause she felt so slighted as a child.

I appreciated her for that! Now that I am older, I don't celebrate as much LOL!

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I agree with not making a December birthday a big deal - 1/12 of the population has birthdays in December so it's nothing new. But I don't agree with combined gifts for Christmas and birthday. Here's my thought. My DD2 was born in May, so she gets birthday presents and Christmas presents - no overlap. My DD1 was born in December, and she should get the same treatment as any other kid who has a birthday party. We make 5/17 a special day for DD2, so 12/22 should be a special day for DD1. I typically am not all about making things fair so no one gets their feelings hurt (it's life - not everything is equal), but to me, this is important.

I understand your point about the combined gift, but here is the way we figure it.

We spend an equal amount on each child for Christmas and Birthdays. If we spend say $100.00 for Christmas, and $100.00 for birthday that limits what we can buy. Now if DS wants a $200.00 lego set, he would be out of luck for Birthday or Christmas. If we combine the gifts, then he could get it. (this is just an example, I have never bought at $200.00 lego set. )

Now my boys are old enough to understand the concept. They also BOTH have December birthdays. So there wouldn't be any worry about 1 having a summer birthday while 1 has a Christmas birthday.

My DH has a Jan 2. birthday. He wanted a TV one year. That was more than I wanted to spend for Christmas or Birthday so I combined the gift. He was thrilled to get the TV. Not upset that he didn't get 2 seperate gifts...

We don't always do combined gifts, I just think it works out sometimes to their advantage.

 

[melafive]

My husbands birthday is 12-14. Every year growing up he was told to go ahead and pick one of his gifts from under the tree. He never had a birthday party with friends. To this day he still feels cheated. He had two siblings and understood that his parents were broke because of having to buy them Christmas gifts too but it still was not fair. When it was time for their birthdays (May and June) to come around they got tons. To this day he is bah humbug about holidays and birthdays. I actually think I am more mad at his parents for doing this to him then he is!

 

[My2CrazyGirls]

My DD's birthday is Dec. 27, and we're still trying to figure out how to make her birthday special since it's so close to Christmas. She'll be 4 this year, so I'd like to have a party, but last year we had a hard time arranging it because so many people were traveling. I hate to ask out of town cousins who might normally come, when they've just gotten home from their Christmas travels. Just wondered how others handle it. Do you wait a couple of weeks or just do a family party?

My DD is turning 4 on December 27 too! If we do a party for her with little friends then I would do it the beginning of January. We haven't done that kind of party yet though. We do separate gifts on Dec. 27 for her.

 

[luckey-lasvegas]

I never met to imply it was stupid to do a half Birthday party in June. I simply stated that my dd's Birthday is in Dec, not June. I will not celebrate her Dec Birthday in June

Well if it makes you feel better we call it my DD's Un-Birthday ! She has 364 of those .