How do you get over being scared to drive after an accident?

[LuvLuvLuv]

Okay, so last Monday morning I was rear-ended while driving to work. It was raining, the light had turned green, but I was pretty far back in line and we hadn't moved yet. He apparently thought we were moving and went right in to the back of my Equinox. I can't say enough good things about how well the vehicle held up after being hit by a Silverado, there was some damage--but I consider myself to be pretty fortunate. As far as my back, leg, shoulders and hands---they're all pretty sore. Because I was stopped and my foot was on the brake--I really jammed my tailbone and my right leg. Today I feel much better than I did last week. I lost a lot of work per doctor's orders.

Today it's Monday morning again--and raining. I was terrified the whole way into downtown Cincinnati. I kept looking in my rear-view mirror thinking someone was going to hit me. I had my A/C cranked because I was nervous and felt over heated. I've been like this since the accident, but because it was raining today--it seemed so much worse. I don't want to be one of those "ugh--why can't people drive in the rain?" people, lol.

Has anyone experienced this?? I keep thinking of the movie Talledega Nights and how he's scared to drive and they put the cougar in his car At least I find some humor, lol.

So yeah, any advice is appreciated!! DH hasn't been much help, lol--he actually used a quote from Talledega Nights that isn't really appropriate to say, lol. But he said I need to get my back! Since that advice hasn't helped me much--I thought I'd come here!! Thanks all!!

 

[cabanafrau]

I'm curious to see if anyone has helpful suggestions. I'm in a similar position myself, having gone through 3 separate accidents this year in a little over three months. I'm particularly interested because you were not in a position to do something differently to avoid your accident. That's where I think a lot of my troubles are coming from. Of the three accidents I was the driver in one & passenger in the others. Neither myself or the people I was riding with were at fault in any of the accidents, so I don't have a lot of places to focus on correcting a problem & making myself feel safe.

Sometimes I'm better off driving, sometimes I find I can't drive certain places or routes. It's such a battle to get the anxiety under control.

 

[AverageDiser]

I think the biggest thing is just time, and continuing to drive. I know it sounds simple, but my Mom was in a horrific accident when I was about 17. She was extremely lucky to walk away with some pretty minor physical injuries. She did not get behind the wheel again until I was 29 and moving out of town so she would HAVE to drive. Once she started driving again, she was fine. The longer you spend without incident, the better you'll feel. I'll keep you both in my thoughts! :hugs:

 

[Principessa1284]

My best advice is just to try to be calm and just pay attention to your own driving. I was in an accident as a teenager and was paranoid for quite a while - I spent a lot of time looking into my rear view mirror. Well, I ended up paying too much attention to the rear view and not what was in front of me and rear ended somebody else. Just be calm, put on some soothing music and relax. Be cautious and drive a little slower than you normally would have before the accident, and allow a lot of extra time to get places. Then you won't have the added stress of worrying about being late. Eventually, the fear subsides and you have new, even better driving habits.

 

[Coconut36]

I'm curious to see if anyone has helpful suggestions. I'm in a similar position myself, having gone through 3 separate accidents this year in a little over three months. I'm particularly interested because you were not in a position to do something differently to avoid your accident. That's where I think a lot of my troubles are coming from. Of the three accidents I was the driver in one & passenger in the others. Neither myself or the people I was riding with were at fault in any of the accidents, so I don't have a lot of places to focus on correcting a problem & making myself feel safe.

Sometimes I'm better off driving, sometimes I find I can't drive certain places or routes. It's such a battle to get the anxiety under control.

Same here..mine were 3 over several years but it was the last one that did me in. It wasn't even a quarter of a mile away from my house and it happened in an intersection I can never avoid. A driver ran a red light and hit me.

Honestly I had to just force myself to do it..kind of the "get back up on the horse" but I will say for several months following that accident (that was the only one where I was the driver..the other 2 had two different drivers..I was 11 for one of them and 14 for the other..one in the back and one in the passenger seat..again no fault of ours that accidents happened and nothing we could have done to avoid them) I was very skittish and nervous especially when I had to enter an intersection on a solid green (what happened when I got hit) but I just had to push through it. I find I still slow down and look around before entering intersections even now.

I'm sorry it happened to you..IMO time and getting back to driving are the only that helped me but for me (and possibly you) a certain amount of nervousness remained forever.

 

[pumba]

35 years ago we were rear ended...we were stopped at an intersection and a car came fast and upped us...I tried really hard to get back to driving but no deal...
MY husband does all the driving and it used to be when we would come to an intersection with alot of traffic...I would shut my eyes..even though my husband is a great driver..
So get back on the horse so to speak and dont let this stop you...or else you will end up like me.....a non driver..

 

[gracie1]

You will get over it in time. I have been in multiple accidents as well and I still love to drive

 

[Jedana]

You just have to get back up on that horse.

I was in a bad accident. Well, 2 in less than a month--the first one I hit a pedestrian who darted out between cars stopped for a red light--2 rows, mind you--and I was moving up in the left turn lane; we were a long way from the light, about a city block...she got a ticket for jaywalking, a shatter left leg and multiple abrasions--take this reminder with you DO NOT JAYWALK IN VEGAS!!!!!) Broke the side mirror on the passenger side and messed up some paint; I did not get cited.

The second I was turning left out of a McD's parking lot, onto a side street (weird configuration, it was 2 lanes plus a left turn lane right after the McD's exit on my right side, and one lane only on the left). Guy decided to speed up the wrong side of the street, trying to get to the turn lane, and he t-boned me. I was doing like 5 mph, he was doing at least 50 (in a 35)--totalled my Ford Escort (same car as above). I was cited for illegal left turn (even though it was marked as a left turn only from the McD parking lot) and he got speeding, causing an accident, unsafe driving and something else.

I had DS with me on the 2nd, he was fine except a scrape from the seatbelt on his cheek (where it tightened around the carseat). I broke 3 bones in my right hand, and fractured my thumb; and in the left hand I broke two fingers and fractured my thumb. Also sprained both wrists. When those airbags come out, they come out with force!

I was terrified after each of those. DH made me go get the rental car after the 2nd--that afternoon--and made me drive to the store after that. he knows me so well--if he hadn't done that, I'd still be making excuses not to drive...and this happened back in 2005!

 

[cabanafrau]

You just have to get back up on that horse.

I was in a bad accident. Well, 2 in less than a month--the first one I hit a pedestrian who darted out between cars stopped for a red light--2 rows, mind you--and I was moving up in the left turn lane; we were a long way from the light, about a city block...she got a ticket for jaywalking, a shatter left leg and multiple abrasions--take this reminder with you DO NOT JAYWALK IN VEGAS!!!!!) Broke the side mirror on the passenger side and messed up some paint; I did not get cited.

The second I was turning left out of a McD's parking lot, onto a side street (weird configuration, it was 2 lanes plus a left turn lane right after the McD's exit on my right side, and one lane only on the left). Guy decided to speed up the wrong side of the street, trying to get to the turn lane, and he t-boned me. I was doing like 5 mph, he was doing at least 50 (in a 35)--totalled my Ford Escort (same car as above). I was cited for illegal left turn (even though it was marked as a left turn only from the McD parking lot) and he got speeding, causing an accident, unsafe driving and something else.

I had DS with me on the 2nd, he was fine except a scrape from the seatbelt on his cheek (where it tightened around the carseat). I broke 3 bones in my right hand, and fractured my thumb; and in the left hand I broke two fingers and fractured my thumb. Also sprained both wrists. When those airbags come out, they come out with force!

I was terrified after each of those. DH made me go get the rental car after the 2nd--that afternoon--and made me drive to the store after that. he knows me so well--if he hadn't done that, I'd still be making excuses not to drive...and this happened back in 2005!

OMG, was the jaywalking pedestrian on Las Vegas Boulevard?

We visited LV just over a week after I was in accident #3. Aside from the initial early morning, relatively traffic-free cruise up the strip, LV Boulevard was sheer torture for me. I have heard they heavily ticket jaywalkers there -- for good reason!

 

[englishteacha]

I've been a passenger in 2 accidents that resulted in major vehicular damage, and driving when I went off the road on a snowy day and ended up in a snowbank. It's scary. I was so scared to even get IN a car after the accidents, but we live in rural Maine...no car=stay home 24/7. So I just had to talk myself into it. In regards to the snowbank incident, I was doing everything right but hit black ice on a turn. I am so glad I, and my car, were OK. I am a bit nervous driving when it's slippery, but it's rural Maine...not much choice when half of the roads are yucky even a week after a storm. I just had to talk myself into it and do my best to be conscientious. I didn't listen to the radio or anything for a while until I was more confident again.

 

[HM]

I had an accident turning left when I was young. I was terrified every time I had to turn left. Unfortunately for me, in order to get to school, almost every turn was a left! It took about six months before I didn't think about it when I was driving. One day, I realized I'd driven somewhere and didn't worry. What a great realization that was.

I have no idea how to not worry, but it will go away. Just keep driving.

 

[hereyago]

Hugs to you OP. It does tend to shake people up. My first accident was when I was 17, with my mom driving a truck hit us from behind, driving fast in the rain,yea that's smart. I ended up in the hospital for 8 days. When I got behind the wheel again, it freaked me out if it looked like the person behind me wasn't slowing down.

I have been in a few accidents since then and my latest one was last year, I am very leary of the place where it happened as well as at intersections when I'm in the right lane and look out for people turning right who AREN"T looking or stopping and I was t boned with my DD and her friend in the car, we all made out ok, the car not so much but it was fixable.

You have to still drive and eventually it will lessen.

 

[disfan07]

I was t-boned on the drivers side about 3 years ago. I was told by the police adn the paramedics that I was very lucky to survive that accident. The thing was...I didn't really have time to be scared or deal with it at the time. My mom was moving across the country 2 weeks later and I had to drive to school, work, drs appts, etc no matter what. I did avoid highways as much as possible (but did have to drive from northern virgnia to baltimore 1x month). I always had trouble sleeping the night before that drive and I was always scared doing that drive.

I have had 2 panic attacks this year while driving. Once because it was raining....and I mean sheets of rain and I was supposed to drive the 405 back to school (I'm i California now). I took surface roads for half the trip but when it came to where I HAD to get on the highway, I freaked.

I was also rear-ended on the 405 about 10 weeks ago. A few weeks afte rthat, I had another panic attack while ON the 405 because it was getting dark adn extremely foggy and very very limited visibility.

I was doing pretty well until the recent accident. I was shaking and nervous everytime I had to drive up to LA. I didn't always have a death grip on teh steering wheel, etc. But the recent accident sent me back to where I was after the first accident.

Luckily, I was already in therapy for something else at the time of the second accident so that has been extremely helpful.

I know a lot of people will say that you will just get over it....and a lot of people do...but if after a while, you still don't get over, I would find someone to talk to and really deal with it. I THOUGHT I had dealt with it well just becasue I WAS able to drive after the accident. But I would only drive when I absolutely had to and would make excuses for reasons not to drive, especially on highways. My therapist said that since I did not actually deal with the trauma after the first accident, the second accident triggered the memories from the first accident which casued my driving anxiety to come back worse than before.

 

[Jennasis]

My parents were hit hard on their way home from the hospital when my older sister was born. They had her in her car seat...this 2 day old baby, and WHAM! They got rear ended hard enough to blow the doors off the car and shatter the windshield. My parents were buckled in but back then it was just a lap belt up front so they both sustained bad facial injuries from hitting the dashboard. My mother immediately went to grab the baby...but she was no in the car seat! With the windshield smashed, they assumed she'd been ejected out the front window, so both bloodied and busted up parents (and the guy who hit them) went running into the street to look for the baby. Mom was FREAKING. Then she heard a faint crying sound....followed it back to the mangled car...where she found my sister, UNDER THE FRONT SEAT. She had slid out of the car seat in the crash and gotten jammed under the seat. Luckily she was unhurt.

Mom and dad both got over that wreck very slowly over the next few years by being cautious and alert and by just forcing themseoves to get behind the wheel again.

Good luck!

 

[cabanafrau]

My parents were hit hard on their way home from the hospital when my older sister was born. They had her in her car seat...this 2 day old baby, and WHAM! They got rear ended hard enough to blow the doors off the car and shatter the windshield. My parents were buckled in but back then it was just a lap belt up front so they both sustained bad facial injuries from hitting the dashboard. My mother immediately went to grab the baby...but she was no in the car seat! With the windshield smashed, they assumed she'd been ejected out the front window, so both bloodied and busted up parents (and the guy who hit them) went running into the street to look for the baby. Mom was FREAKING. Then she heard a faint crying sound....followed it back to the mangled car...where she found my sister, UNDER THE FRONT SEAT. She had slid out of the car seat in the crash and gotten jammed under the seat. Luckily she was unhurt.

Mom and dad both got over that wreck very slowly over the next few years by being cautious and alert and by just forcing themseoves to get behind the wheel again.

Good luck!

I truly cannot even imagine. Leaving the hospital w/ your newborn is a weird experience to begin with & you sort of want a police escort, complete with Secret Service detail to walk along with your car, wrapping it in a cotton cloud because, "hey, I've got a baby in here." You tell yourself to get a grip & of course adjust to having baby along, everything is just fine & the baby nerves go away.

If I had been in your folks' shoes all that would have remained of me is a quivering pile of goo after that experience. My current anxieties are easy peasy compared to recovering from that.

 

[minkydog]

Give yourself some time to process it and don't give in to the fear and anxiety. I sympathize with you. We were involved in a terrible rollover while towing our travel trailer last year. Thank God nobody was killed or badly injured. All five of us survived with bruises, whiplash, and minor cuts. As a result of that wreck, I developed post traumatic stress disorder. Part of my treatment has been facing the fears. Not giving in to intrusive thoughts that say "Help! Unsafe! You can't do this!AAAAAAAAH!"

One of my most helpful exercises was focusing on the present. Immediately after the accident I would have almost constant flashbacks, to the point that it was difficult for me to see the traffic. I know! scary! I had to make a conscious effort to stay focused on the driving. I would say to myself "The light is turning red. I am stopping behind the green car. I will turn right. Now I'm passing some cows and a mailbox. I see a white van ahead of me with Michigan plates." you get the idea. I had this running conversation with myself which kept the intrusive thoughts from taking over. When I am driving mindfully (in the "present") I cannot ruminate over the accident and what ifs.

It's been about 20 months since our accident. I'd be lying if i said I was cured. I'm not cured, but my anxiety is under control. Part of the recovery included some medication, too, and talkign with a counselor. (PTSD often brings up other stuff from prior experiences, not just the most recent event). Best of luck to you. Give yourself extra minutes to get places so you don't feel rushed. It will get better in time.

 

[sPaRkLeSpAz]

Like everyone keeps saying, get back on that horse! Recently I ran into a deer- well the deer actually ran into me and I was okay, it messed up one of my lights a little, but thankfully I was fine. But for a few weeks after that, and even sometimes now, I keep feeling like I see a deer in front of me again, and it scares me a lot! But lately I've been doing better with driving and not freaking out over things that I *think* I see.
Good luck!!!

 

[Owlpost23]

I've been there,and it's terrifying.Totaled a gremlin(?!) that wasn't in the best of shape-no seatbelts,bad breaks.Got a jimdandy cut on my chin,but otherwise I was o.k.physically.Took me a LONG time to get back to driving in the rain-still won't go on the highway in the rain,but otherwise I'm alright.I would have to agree with everyone who says to get back on that horse.I wold also suggest that you make sure that your wiper blades are in good shape,you have washer fluid,breaks and tires are in good repair,etc.Knowing that your car can handle the weather will go a long way in making you feel more secure.Good luck and hugs.

 

[bumbershoot]

Time will help to heal you.

But it might be a good long bit of time.

I was in a single-car accident with many components, that *could have* resulted in me spinning backwards into a very full, rushing river on a freezing cold day. My car was damaged so I couldn't drive while it was being fixed, then I tried to not drive much after that for awhile. About a month or even longer later, a friend drove us to see Point of No Return (remake of La Femme Nikita) and there's a scene driving down a curvy hill road when the emergency brake is yanked and they start spinning.... I slammed back in my seat in shock and just sat wide-eyed with my hand over my mouth until the end of the movie. After the movie ended I went to the bathroom and burst into tears...

The fear slowly let up over time.

If anyone had given me problems about it, I would have had problems with them. So don't let anyone give you trouble about it! These things are frightening, and IMO people who can brush it off worry me more than those who have continued nervousness. I feel like they just aren't dealing with it, and are more of a danger than those who take it more seriously.

 

[minkydog]

Time will help to heal you.

But it might be a good long bit of time.

I was in a single-car accident with many components, that *could have* resulted in me spinning backwards into a very full, rushing river on a freezing cold day. My car was damaged so I couldn't drive while it was being fixed, then I tried to not drive much after that for awhile. About a month or even longer later, a friend drove us to see Point of No Return (remake of La Femme Nikita) and there's a scene driving down a curvy hill road when the emergency brake is yanked and they start spinning.... I slammed back in my seat in shock and just sat wide-eyed with my hand over my mouth until the end of the movie. After the movie ended I went to the bathroom and burst into tears...

The fear slowly let up over time.

OMG, I had one of those moments when i was watching Toy Story 3. You know the part when they're on the conveyor belt and they're tumbling and the debris is grinding and the toys are screaming? Yeah, that part. I had a major flashback and had to step out of the theater for several minutes. Even though it was just a cartoon, the feelings it induced were very real. i loved TS3 but i won't watch it again.