How do you feel about child harness?

[WedgieSock]

I totally agree with you.

If they didn't listen we left or didn't go. If the didn't listen then the next time they didn't go. And I mean everywhere. I don't care if it was the back yard if I said stay with me they did.

well you were very lucky that your children allowed you to think for them 100% of the time. I disciplined my child the same and was actually pretty strict - but every now and again she thought for herself

 

[Suellen]

Well yay you for being a super parent. I suck because I have a runner. Or had. He grew out of it before he started school.

We DID stay home and miss out on a lot. Not necessarily because of the running but a combination of all the special needs related stuff. You know what I regret? Missing out on doing things with my kids when they were little. What I don't regret - using a harness/leash.

How long are these leashes that people are using? I'm trying to imagine getting tripped on ours, and you'd have to be a hurdler that's all up in our personal space.

Take from it what you will. Never said I was better or you were worse - just different and that is okay.

I regret nothing. I've learned from my mistakes and I've learned from my children and adapted - it is all part of being a parent.

FWIW - I'm not trying to argue - just responding to questions about other posts I made!

I'll be quiet now - have a great night all!

 

[Sugar Jones]

Do what you need to do to make your child safe & don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

 

[Shannalee724]

Lol!!! This thread makes me laugh.

We like our backpack It is a monkey with a tail.

Honestly, who cares what anyone else thinks. You're at Disney World!!! Have fun with your family and don't worry about what anyone else thinks

 

[Hannathy]

well you were very lucky that your children allowed you to think for them 100% of the time. I disciplined my child the same and was actually pretty strict - but every now and again she thought for herself

Oh don't feel bad for my kids they are very independent thinkers and following safety instructions has nothing to do with thinking. And I actually am very non strict on everything but behaving in public! Saying I am strict is laughable. I also have very independent kids.

But when you are out in public you behave and you stay with us. That is nothing to think about.

 

[may_baby06]

you'd be surprised to see the amount of people using these in disney! I thought I would get lots of dirty looks and comments about using our monkey "backpack" but saw tons of other parents using the same thing. I say go for it! It's all in safety. Our monkey goes with us every time!

 

[ppony]

Haven't read beyond the OP's first post. But child's safety is close to my heart.
That said, I'm sure now, that the OP has learned to maybe not judge others as you honestly don't know what they are dealing with and as the OP themselves learned that they too, were in a position to be "in need" of extra help that a harness can provide in some cases.
I say, parents should do whatever they need to to keep their kids safe. I don't judge what someone else deems necessary because I simply don't know their circumstances and that's enough for me. As long as they don't get physically hurt, and barring anything horrible I can't think of, I say do what you need to.


Our austitic son has become a wanderer. He doesn't speak and he can be fast to get away. It's phsycially impossible to keep eyes on your child every moment. So after an austictic boy my son's age wandered away from his home a few months back (and THANKFULLY found...close to a river! ) We have a GPS for him now. We still have yet to get him to readily wear it, but you do what you have to do.

 

[lynypixie]

For those who wouldn't use a "leash" on their kids, did those same kids sleep in a "cage", play in a "pen"?

I coslept with my all kids and they have their own twin beds at 18 months. They have become very independant.

My husband and I both work every other weekend, meaning we're always only one parent with the 3 kids on weekends. We don't stop living because of that. We take them to six flags (several times since we have our anual pass), the zoo, the farm ect... and we never felt we needed a leash.

I'm not juging, because it's not something that harms the kids. It's just another way of doing things. But for us, we prefer teaching them safety and patience early, it's hard at first, but so much better in the long term!

 

[larryz]

Also an astronaut floats away because they can't stop it - not because they don't listen to someone trying to give them safety instructions.

I'm not saying that astronauts are no more attentive than a two-year-old. What I'm saying is that two-year-olds, in an environment like WDW, "can't stop it" just like the astronauts "canna change the laws of physics."

If you don't use it, that's your right.

Those that feel they need it for their child's safety (and their own peace of mind) are just as entitled to do so.

 

[MoonFaerie]

Oh don't feel bad for my kids they are very independent thinkers and following safety instructions has nothing to do with thinking. And I actually am very non strict on everything but behaving in public! Saying I am strict is laughable. I also have very independent kids.

But when you are out in public you behave and you stay with us. That is nothing to think about.

This is the part that makes me mad. The whole "if your precious doesn't obediently stand by you 100% of the time in public, you're a lazy parent" thing.

We are very strict about behavior in public. Using the leash didn't mean we were ignoring teaching him. It meant we had a safety net for when he slipped up. We still had the expectations of proper behavior while the leash was on. It just kept him from getting run over until he'd gotten better control of his emotions and impulses.

Now that he's older, he has no problem staying with us, even when he's having an off day. We can go out to a restaurant with friends and be there for hours and both kids will be well behaved. At a wedding this summer, we were able to be very hands off. Both kids behaved very appropriately. DS even asked BIL if he could dance with new-SIL before asking new-SIL to dance, and he even bowed to her like she was royalty.

 

[FigmentFinder]

I don't use a harness, but I have nothing against them. My only concern is how well a 14 month old will tolerate one. He may not be steady enough on his feet to handle being jerked back if he runs too far. It may also make him more frustrated than being in a stroller if he is limited by a short restraint.

It's worth buying a cheap one, Marshalls/TJ Maxx usually has them. If he doesn't like it you won't be out much money.

 

[ttintagel]

I look at them as a bit of extra insurance, like training wheels on a bike.

 

[ArthurFiggis]

As a DS myself, I credit my leash with allowing me to be here to comment today. I have little doubt that my mother, who many would call overprotective, would have been able to keep me out of trouble without it. Every time I see a kid on one, I make a point to compliment the folks with them.

 

[nchulka]

Wow! I'm not really sure why people hate them so much I never used one, but I've never thought twice about parents who did. I actually think they give kids the opportunity to explore more and be more independent. So if a kid is at the zoo and mom is talking with her friend the kid on the leash can walk several feet away to see some other things unlike the kid who is holding mom's hand or strapped in a stroller. I can see them being used for that purpose for about a 2 year old, especially if mom has multiple young children. Now she can tend to the baby while the toddler gets to explore a bit without her worrying that she is going to lose him. I'm not sure where the idea comes from that toddlers on leashes must sleep in cages or play in pens Heck maybe they sleep in a backyard "house" and eat out of bowls on the floor too

 

[Maddies Mama]

Back before I had kids when I was a perfect parent, I said no way no how to harnesses. Now I'm mom to a 4yo with autism who from since she learned how to walk until sometime during age 3, she was a runner (a fast one at that) and I totally get the need for one. It's all about safety. I've been knocked several notches off my perfect parent pedestal in the last 4 years and one of the things that knocked me back to earth was that no one can parent your child but you and sometimes you have to do things you never thought you'd do or cringed when you saw other parents doing them at some point in the past but now you understand the need for having to do it. If you want to put your kiddo in a harness, go for it. But definitely make sure he's used to it before your trip!

 

[ppony]

Back before I had kids when I was a perfect parent, I said no way no how to harnesses. Now I'm mom to a 4yo with autism who from since she learned how to walk until sometime during age 3, she was a runner (a fast one at that) and I totally get the need for one. It's all about safety. I've been knocked several notches off my perfect parent pedestal in the last 4 years and one of the things that knocked me back to earth was that no one can parent your child but you and sometimes you have to do things you never thought you'd do or cringed when you saw other parents doing them at some point in the past but now you understand the need for having to do it. If you want to put your kiddo in a harness, go for it. But definitely make sure he's used to it before your trip!

Just giving a hug! I feel ya!

 

[robinb]

I think there are two groups of people who use kid leashes. Some people use it because the know their kids are "runners". Others use it because it's "better to be safe than sorry". I think the former group uses the tool until their children's minds mature into their impulsive bodies and then they allow the independence as long as there is awareness as well. The second group suppresses independence and keeps the apron strings tight ... literally ... because you just never know what might happen to even the best behaved child. Both groups have been represented here and I think that the more negative remarks are aimed at the latter group.

 

[MoonFaerie]

One more thought - it's all great for the anti leash people to say that it's different when it's a special needs situation. The reality is that lots of kids with autism are runners, and you can't tell that the kid has autism by looking at him/her. That's when we find ourselves being publicly judged and shamed because our seemingly "normal" child isn't acting in age appropriate ways. Thank goodness we've moved past it, but taking DS out in public from 4-young 6 was horrible. People were jerks. He especially had a hard time with the grocery store, and that's not one of those places you can just quit going to. Add in the fact that his sister is only just over a year younger, and I really didn't have a lot of options to keep everyone safe and relatively happy.

 

[ppony]

I think there are two groups of people who use kid leashes. Some people use it because the know their kids are "runners". Others use it because it's "better to be safe than sorry". I think the former group uses the tool until their children's minds mature into their impulsive bodies and then they allow the independence as long as there is awareness as well. The second group suppresses independence and keeps the apron strings tight ... literally ... because you just never know what might happen to even the best behaved child. Both groups have been represented here and I think that the more negative remarks are aimed at the latter group.

So I need to ask, what gives anyone the right to make that judgement call on anyone? I also think that saying someone who is saying "better safe that sorry" is restricting independence is a huge assumption.
This is Disney World. The biggest tourist destination in the WORLD! This isn't your local strip mall. This is overwhelming for both parents and the kids. Kids are kids, they aren't adults, they are completely and easily distractible (as are adults) and what was ingrained in them before can easily be forgotten. They aren't machines and their brains are not like hearts and lungs that automatically do something w/o thinking. Sometimes, they simply do. not. think. I wouldn't fault anyone for taking more extreme measures in an environment such as Disney. It's NOT normal life.

One more thought - it's all great for the anti leash people to say that it's different when it's a special needs situation. The reality is that lots of kids with autism are runners, and you can't tell that the kid has autism by looking at him/her. That's when we find ourselves being publicly judged and shamed because our seemingly "normal" child isn't acting in age appropriate ways. Thank goodness we've moved past it, but taking DS out in public from 4-young 6 was horrible. People were jerks. He especially had a hard time with the grocery store, and that's not one of those places you can just quit going to. Add in the fact that his sister is only just over a year younger, and I really didn't have a lot of options to keep everyone safe and relatively happy.

SO TRUE! We get those looks every day. People are nice and talk to him but he doesn't answer back, often won't look at them or he'll look at them with a look that looks like they think HE thinks they have 3 eyes. Nope, that's just him. That's his facial expression 99% of the time. Last winter, he would NOT wear a jacket. AT. ALL. We live in MN! So you can imagine the looks we got scrambling into stores w/ him wrapped in a blanket. Thank heavens that winter was oddly warm (for MN). You almost never can tell at a glance and only can recognize some of it if you've been around a lot of people w/ it. But even then, the spectrum is huge. I just ask people to try and not judge others. Just focus on yourself and your vacation, that's what matters.

 

[bellaally]

If my child is a runner by that age I would use it if I had more then one like a smaller kid bigger kid, I would use it. It's about safety for me, he won't be able to run anywhere or get loss, I don't have a child harness , but if I think I would need one then we would get it. Isn't it the same as strapping in a stroller, but if there too antsy to say in there, the harness lets them have some breathing room, walk and feel more independent. My husband hates these by the way he says there for dogs. To each there own