How do you discipline

[wilma-bride]

After reading another thread here, I am left wondering how you discipline your child/children

On the other thread, a lot of people are saying they don't agree with slapping/spanking a child and that is fair enough.

But, as the parent of a very trying 7-year old, I am interested to know how you discipline and what sort of behaviour you find unacceptable.

I am very much a 'pick your battles' type of parent and so, certain things that my DH doesn't like, I don't tend to worry about - examples being noisy play (fire engine, police car sounds and the like), making a mess (kids are kids and will make mess - although I am fanatical about tidying up said mess later).

However, I really struggle with how to discipline him for things like not doing as he is asked (ie not tidying up, getting dressed) and doing things he is not supposed to (like answering back, throwing toys etc.)

I really don't want to turn this into a debate, more looking for some ideas/insight really.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

At 7yo things like getting dressed and messes are more "supervised" activities. In other words if you are having difficulty with follow thru you kind of have to be right there and then teach them a "system" for getting the task done.

My 13yodd is using a timer. Now this is because she has a hard time with staying on task and for whatever reason the timer helps her.

Also having a written list to follow and breaking down tasks is working very well with her.

Some kids need a "system" to help them stay focused.

Now the discipline comes in when they are not following the system. They know they are goofing off, ignoring or whatever. When they are busted they get a punishment off a list. At 7yo, you have to be pretty clear, cut & dried.

 

[luvsJack]

I have always been a bit laid back with the kids. Like you, I choose my battles and that worked best when my younger son became a teen.

DD has chores and she has certain rules that she knows are not negotiable. She earns rewards for doing her chores and following the rules. If she wants to do things with her friends on the weekends, she earns that by completing all her chores for the week. If she breaks rules, she gets warnings and will lose privileges and then has to earn them back (like if she doesn't break a rule and does all her chores she earns it back in 5 days). We do spank but she has only been spanked once or twice.

When my sons were young (14 years between her and her youngest brother), spankings were probably used more; but did basically the same thing with them. It was a bit harder with them.

 

[MushyMushy]

I used 1-2-3 Magic with my kids, plus a reward system.

1-2-3 Magic is a timeout system. That's not to say I never lost my cool and yelled at them, but when I used it consistently, it really worked.

 

[wilma-bride]

I used 1-2-3 Magic with my kids, plus a reward system.

1-2-3 Magic is a timeout system. That's not to say I never lost my cool and yelled at them, but when I used it consistently, it really worked.

I have the book and have tried it myself but DH didn't think it was working so refused to stick to the 'rules' and, therefore, it didn't work for us.

I do have two older children (teen girls) and they're pretty good but DS is always pushing the boundaries and it's so hard to know what will work.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

Is there something that he enjoys like watching a certain show or playing a gameboy? Maybe you could give him an hour a day to do that thing and everytime there is an infraction (not obeying, saying no) you could take time away (5-10 minutes depending on the seriousness) and you could also add time for great behavior. Maybe seeing tangible results for good/bad behavior might help.

As a teacher I had a very challenging 3rd grade class one year and a system like this worked wonders for them. Good luck!!!