How do u tell a 2 yr old "Nannys Died"

[Natalie_89]

My little boys dad came round today to tell me his mm has died.its a awful shock and i feel kinda helpless. were upset for josh..hes lost his nanny. his mum was only 45 how do u tell a 2 year old this

 

[TinaLala]

When my fil died a few years ago our family was devestated. What I told my girls was that Pepe was up in Heaven with Baby Jesus. We're not very religious, but they knew who Baby Jesus was from our manger at Christmas and we had talked about Baby Jesus when my grandfather and our dog had died. It definitely helped them to know that Pepe was up in heaven watching over us. My sil's mom made the girls an elephant out of one of shirts so they could hug him whenever they wanted to hug Pepe.

 

[Nicholfamily5]

Ugh, I'm terribly sorry! I'm not sure there is a good way to talk about it, except maybe try to find a book to read to him that talks about losing a grandparent.
When my dh's father died, his son was 3. We are a religious family, so we told him that papa went to go sleep in heaven with Jesus. Keeping it really really simple was key, and we had to talk about it when HE brought it up, not pushing the subject on him. He'll let you know when he needs to talk about it or needs clarification.

Good Luck and I'm sorry for his loss.

 

[Natalie_89]

thanks .. its just hard he really loved her..its such a shock i feel so bad *** i dunno wot to say to sean (his dad) hes cut up..you dont dont want these things to happen.its so horrible

 

[mickeyplanner08]

So sorry for Josh (and his dad's) loss. I, too lost my dad at a young age-he was 38. Anyway, just wanted to comment that it is not usually recommended to tell a baby that young that the person has "gone to sleep and won't wake up" or "gone to sleep with Jesus" because it can make them afraid to fall asleep. Just give him lots of hugs and lovin' and tell him the truth.

 

[perkinsrose]

Sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time.

I often turn to bibliotherapy to help kids process things in life.
You might check with a local children's librarian. (some are more helpful/knowledgeable than others) Sometimes they have lists of books (or know a few) on death & dying.

Here's some children's books on death/dying/loss. Some are better than others.

This one is good: The Goodbye Boat by Mary Joslin

http://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Boat-...bs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1219422585&sr=8-1


http://www.amazon.com/I-Miss-You-First-Death/dp/0764117645/ref=pd_sim_b_2


http://www.amazon.com/When-Dinosaurs-Die-Understanding-Families/dp/0316119555/ref=pd_sim_b_4


http://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-When-Grandma-Died/dp/0570040906/ref=pd_sim_b_14


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BOOK LISTS

http://www3.baylor.edu/~Charles_Kemp...rens_books.htm

http://www.carnegielibrary.org/kids/...bibliotherapy/


Article & book lists, 1997

http://www.cyc-net.org/cyc-online/cycol-0304-grief.html

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Amazon.com or Barnes&Noble online are great places to find books but these specialty stores are really good too


http://www.selfesteemshop.com/


http://www.compassionbooks.com/store/index.php

 

[perkinsrose]

I'd caution you against using the idea of "going to sleep" to explain death. Some children will become fearful of sleep or think a family member is dead when they are sleeping.

 

[Nicholfamily5]

I agree with the others, but it worked for us at the time. :shrug:

I plead ignorance! I was just the GF at the time and had no pther experiance with kids, I probably would avoid this particular phrase should I find myself in the situation with my kids now.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

We unfortunately have had a lot of deaths lately that DD has had to deal with. This is the book we used. It's fantastic

http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Heaven-Maria-Shriver/dp/0307440435

The good side to losing a lot of people at once (if there is a good side) is that we have told DD that they are all in heaven together and that has really comforted her.

Sorry for your loss

 

[jjhardy]

I have learned by losing my FIL 6 years ago and my SIL was only 11 and my niece was only 2 is NOT to tell them he went to sleep. Same with losing an animal because then they are afraid to go to sleep! We told them that FIL went to heaven to be with God and Jesus. My niece was cute at the viewing because she ran up to be an put her hand on her hip and thumbed over her shoulder to the casket and said "that's granddad but that's just his body he's really up in heaven with Jesus!" and then ran off! A few months later we went to Hershey park and my niece ask if she road a rollercoaster would she be able to see granddad because she will be hi up in the air and closer to heaven. I told her probably not but she can talk to him anytime she wanted and he would hear her.

I'm sorry for your lose and you can always ask the funeral home if they have any pamphlets for this? We got some good ones from Hospice when FIL passed.

 

[WantToGoNow]

My husband's mother passed away almost 2 years ago - my kids were 5 and 2 at the time. She was in Hospice for 9 days before she died so they knew that she was very sick. I told them that mama's body got really sick and couldn't get better and now she was in heaven. My dd is 4.5 now and she doesn't even remember mama.

 

[LisaNJ25]

I am sorry for your loss. My younger ones were 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 when my grandma died last year. She lived across the street and they saw her daily. We told them grandma got very sick and is now with grandma. That she is no longer here but will always be watching them. We talk bout her alot..we go to her gravesite and bring flower. I have pictures up of her and we look at them often. I want to keep the memory of her alive with the kids. Its still very rough for me and I cry often about it.. they kids both say you miss grandma cheetah. they know right away lol

 

[christa112]

First off, I am very sorry for your family's loss.

But you may be very surprised how your son may react. I lost my grandfather over 4 yrs ago and my sons was very, very close to him. My grandfather watched them everyday until my son went to school. When he passed away very suddenly I was unsure on how I was going to tell them, especially my oldest who was 4 at the time. I told him that Grandpa's heart was sick and stopped working. He looked at me and it's ok Mommy don't cry. He never shed a tear or anything. We still talk about him, but kids don't understand death and don't grieve how adults do.

 

[mdurette]

When you child asks about his Nanny I would say that she can't be with us anymore - we won't be able to see or talk to her anymore - but she will always be with us - in our hearts and minds. It's the truth.

 

[mom2connorandcaleb]

My FIL passed away about 2 months ago, and we told our 3 year old son that he went to heaven to live with Jesus. He is just fine with that, and asks often if he is talking to his Pawpaw A.W. (who passed away about a year ago). He knows he will see him again someday, it's just going to be a while. Tonight we asked him what he thought Pawpaw Rick was doing right now, and he said "Dancing and playing games". Isn't that sweet?

 

[MidgeD79]

I had to tell my grandson (who was turning 3 in 3 days) that his mommy (mydd 26) had died. He didn't understand heaven, so I told she was way up in the sky past the clouds and past the moon. it's been 2 years and I wait for him to talk about "it", but we talk about his mommy everyday. When we go to the special place to remember his mommy (the cemetary) we send a balloon up covered with kisses. It helps both of us.

 

[EmmersIsTheMommy]

We did an object lesson when Grandma Great died for DS and DD.

We put our hand in a glove and told them that the glove was like our body and the hand was like our spirit..then removed the glove and talked about how the spirit goes up to heaven.

I know that deeply depends on religious belief but it worked REALLY well

 

[wlwilliams9]

I'm in the same boat. My mom passed away on Friday (8/15) at 57 after battling breast cancer. We told my DD (2) that Grandma went to heaven and lives with the moon and stars. She doesn't really understand that Grandma won't be around anymore, but she did wave at the stars the other night when I told her that's where gram was. I think the best thing to do is let DS know that Nanny loves him forever. Sorry for your loss, it's not fair that you DS and my DD won't get to grow up knowing their grammys.

 

[GabbyMom]

in the span of a week my DD's teacher and my uncle passed. I told her that they went to heaven and that they aren't sick any more. when she said she wanted to see her uncle I told her that he's in heaven.

I told Gabby that when she wants to tell her uncle something we would wright it down and tie it to a balloon, so the balloon can take the message.

when my uncles dog Cash was put down three weeks ago we let a balloon go with a dog treat for him and we wrote on the balloon we missed him

 

[eeyorefan74]

My DD was 3 when my grandfather died. I told her I had something sad to tell her and that Granddaddy had died. I said he was very sick and his body stopped working, so he went to heaven to be with Jesus. I said we wouldn't see him again here, but we could remember all the happy times we had with him.

Grief counselors say just to keep it as simple and honest as possible, on the child's level. There will probably be some questions as he gets older and understands more. My DD is almost 7, and still asks a question about Granddaddy from time to time. Let him have pictures of her and draw pictures if he wants to. You'll be in my prayers.