How do I "see the world through her eyes"??

[JUJU814]

Going to see The Mouse in 4 weeks..mommy/daughter trip with dd age 6.

A wise friend has advised me to slow down, let her lead, and "see everything through her eyes"

We have been going through a lot at home and I'm taking this opportunity to spend 9 nights 1:1 with dd who really needs me alone. Dh is taking the time off and spending special daddy/son 1:1 time with ds.

I'm a planner. I don't care for crowds. I like to strategize.

I don't think that's going to be possible this trip. It's about her..NOT me.

I need to stop and smell the roses, and be a little girl with her.

I've never been 1:1 with a child. I'm not sure exactly what we'll do for all this time.

We're staying at Beach Club this trip and look forward to the pool. I, mom, look very forward to staying club level She likes the afternoon treats and such too.

If you were going 1:1 with one of your kids, and wanted to jsut leave the world behind and "be a kid" with them, what would your trip look like? How would you "see it all through their eyes"?

Ideas needed!!

I need to prep myself to chill out and relax and ENJOY her. My son takes so much of my time and focus that I'm afraid time alone with her has been lacking. that is changing as we have started to implement special daily mommy time at home, and I know one trip can't "make everything better", but still, I *really* want to make this a special trip for HER first..not me first.

ideas???

 

[sigmasal]

This sounds like such a fun trip for you and your daughter! What a great opportunity and it sounds like you need it! I don't have any great advice but the one thing that came to mind when reading your post was how much fun I seem to have in WDW and how it is one place I really don't care what other people think. Last year when my dd almost 4 at the time & I were alone together a few times, we were dancing in the streets and just laughing, concentrating on each other. I just loved seeing her so happy and didn't even look around to see if anyone thought I looked like one of the dancing hippos from Fantasia in the middle of Main Street USA (lol).
I hope you have a great time!

 

[JUJU814]

This sounds like such a fun trip for you and your daughter! What a great opportunity and it sounds like you need it! I don't have any great advice but the one thing that came to mind when reading your post was how much fun I seem to have in WDW and how it is one place I really don't care what other people think. Last year when my dd almost 4 at the time & I were alone together a few times, we were dancing in the streets and just laughing, concentrating on each other. I just loved seeing her so happy and didn't even look around to see if anyone thought I looked like one of the dancing hippos from Fantasia in the middle of Main Street USA (lol).
I hope you have a great time!

Thanks!!

She's soooooo excited.

The other day, I took her to walmart with me to do an errand. I took just her and not ds. We got in the car and she was ecstatic..."MOMMY!!!!! This is EXACTLY what Disney is going to be like!!! Just you and me!!!" Going to Walmart. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry

She has a whole bag packed with important stuff.

One thing she REALLY wants to do (which normally makes me cringe) is go around picking up all the sparkly micky confettis off the ground. I have decided just bring lots of Purell! LOL I will not get all hung up on this stuff as I have in the past.

That's what I want to do..just laugh and concentrate on each other.

 

[catgirl]

Taking my niece on her 2nd trip to WDW. She really enjoyed the character meals and collecting autographs from them. Two years later she loves to relive our 1st trip by looking at the autograph book & scrap book I made for her. This year she can't wait to meet Ariel @ her Grotto and the Fairies in Pixie Hollow. Let her take the lead and you will have the time of your lifes. Enjoy!!

 

[lllGurulll]

I'm a dad that went with my two oldest boys DS11 and DS 6 back in 2008 and pretty much let them lead. Worked out great. We followed a plan on the morning but if they wanted to break from it I let them.

When I go this May it will be with my middle children DS8 and DD6. IT will be her first trip to the World so we will probably let her do more of the leading. We have a plan this time too but I will throw it out the window if need be for them.

 

[Aristomommy]

I am a planner also and I learned espcially with my kids, that flexibility is extremely important. I like to have a plan where we are going for the day and which way to navigate that park, but once we are there, I am not in a hurry to go to the next thing. There are so many hidden treasures at WDW and character interaction that happens spontaniously. I think of "seeing it through their eyes" as slowing down, allowing the child to make discoveries instead of me being a tour guide and telling them what to see and experience. Animal Kingdom is a wonderful place to just walk around the trails, interacting with animals, taking in the sights and sounds.

Please post here how your trip went, as I am sure you will have a wonderful time.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I'm a planner too, and it's hard to relinqish control to your child...I get that!

But the rewards of doing so are immeasurable. I'll bet you'll come home and post to us how awesome it was NOT to have a plan, just to do/see whatever comes. It's an adventure. And I hope you enjoy every single minute of it!

 

[Perditamarie]

I did a mommy and me trip w/my dd last June...it was very special. Every TS meal was a character meal, and they even sprinkled the table w/the Mickey confetti sometimes, so she collected that. She picked the rides....so we would trek from Thunder Mountain to Barnstormer and back again if that's what she wanted to ride, and we watched SpectroMagic every time it was offered. We took a break each day for swimming and I even bought her a beautiful, overpriced balloon that I otherwise would try to talk her out of. We went window shopping and she had sticky popsicle snacks. It was fabulous!

 

[crisi]

Planning is still good with kids. You want the "world through her eyes" to be one that isn't standing in long lines, missing characters she had her heart set on, or letting her get overtired.

And I don't think with kids in tow you can help but to see it "through their eyes" if they are enjoying themselves and you have any sort of heart.

Book a character meal or two. This makes you take time, is delightful for most kids.

Many kids really enjoy parades, if you think yours will, try and work it into the day (my kids don't and we usually aren't in the park at that time).

Review the schedules for the "special events" - like Storytime with Belle. Those smaller events most people don't take time for because they are moving from ride to ride can be magical.

Manage her without managing her. Encourage Dumbo at opening - then distract her from Dumbo for the rest of the day so you aren't standing in two hour long lines. Many parents have made the mistake of taking their kids on Snow White's Scary Adventures first - and then never getting their child on another ride for the entire trip. So planning will make life easier.

At the same time, be ready to drop your plans for more time in the pool, or drop character meals because she finds them scary, or see shows because that's what delights her, or ride the thrill rides she is tall enough for because she's a adrenaline junkie or spend more time in your room.

Be understanding about overtired, over stimulated and hungry. Know that as a Disneyphile, she doesn't need to do it ALL this trip. Don't overpromise by telling her about EVERYTHING, because you won't get to do everything (my kids didn't know you could eat in the castle until they were too old to care - I didn't want to bother with reservations).

 

[mamaLori05]

I've never done a one on one, but we always see it through their eyes. Watch their faces as they meet that special character for the first time, or go on that special ride theyl love. It's priceless!! Here are some things we usually do:
Ask the kids which park they want to go to that day (we have hoppers, so it makes it easier for us. If you don't, then obviously don't do that)
Ask the kids which characters they want to meet and figure out where they are.
If they see something along the way that they want to see, do, meet, we stop and do that. Even if it means playing at a playground for a half hour.
We do look at things we think they might enjoy and guide them there as well.
If you are making ADR's give the kids a brief description and let them help pick where they want to eat. Maybe certain characters are more appealing to them than others.

We do have some things that we don't let the kids make a choice on If we are at one end of the park, and they want to see something at the other end, we don't go running across the park or anything. Our dd likes looking in the gift shops as well, but she knows she can only has a certain amount of money, so she usually just browses until she figures out what she really wants.

Basically we take the kids lead and go at their pace. If they are tired, we rest. If they want to go swimming, we make sure we find some time during the day to go back and go swimming. We've never felt like we missed anything by doing it this way.

You'll have a blast and make soo many wonderful memories. Take lots of pics so you can look back on your special vacation!!!

 

[roscoepc1]

Remember that NO ONE knows you, and "let it all hang out!" By that I mean...dance in the streets (or with the High School Musical gang, lol), skip, pretend the characters are real, get YOUR hair done at BBB (dh even got HIS done, and our girls thought he hung the moon all week!), hug the characters, dance in the sprinklers etc....

And practice saying "yes" instead of "no"....I think, as parents, we get in such a habit of saying no all the time, we say it even when there's no reason too! She wants ice cream for breakfast? Why not? You're at Disney! She wants to have nothing but character meals? Why not? Kwim?

Have fun!

 

[Wenny]

I can't add to anything anyone else said... I just wanted to pop in and say that you are a really good mom. And your DD is a lucky girl. This is the sweetest thing I've ever read! I can't wait to hear how the trip went.

I'm going to keep the "see it through her eyes" thought in my mind for our upcoming trip.

 

[PrincessKell]

I would have to agree there are some things she doesn't have to have total control of, but you can make her think she does by giving her two choices she wants but you just give her wise choices for what it is you are doing then or for the morning or whatever. Like once you are in a certain land stay in that land and if you think of something you want to do when you are done write it down on a little tablet. Because Im sure we all know that when in Disney you have SOO many ideas on what to do next and then something else catches your eye. Write it down if its something important she wants to do.

When my dd goes she always wants to do everything many many times. Like IASW 10 times in an afternoon. But its what she wanted so I say OK! Like poster above said, we get in a habit of saying no to things that we really don't need to.

Im sure just being there with mom, she will have the time of her life, as will you. Enjoy yourself!

Let yourself go, have fun and be a kid!

 

[kathyell]

Walk slowly. If she stops to look at something, ask her what she's looking at. (This is how I first noticed the colorful metal decorations at the entrances to Future World West/East from the fountain area, when my daughter pointed them out to me.)

Show her the park maps in the room the night before and ask her what sort of things she'd like to do the next day. (That way she picks, and you can plan the easiest order.)

Get her a disposable camera or a kid's digital camera and let her take some pictures. (This is an excellent way to find out what things naturally draw your child's eye.)

Get some Disney trader pins (can be had from pin sellers on the 'net for under $2 each in many places) and let her trade pins with the CMs. (This is a good way to discover which characters/rides/movies/etc. are her favorites.)

If the line for your child's favorite ride is short and they want to ride it over and over, go ahead and do it. (Within reason, of course.)

If your daughter likes to meet characters, help her come up with something to ask each character when it's her turn. (This works whether you're the only adult on the trip or not, but it's good stalling time for you to get the camera ready/hand over the autograph book/etc.)

Snacks/water keeps everyone's spirits up, as well as fairly liberal use of any unoccupied bench you might come across. It will keep your stress levels down too. Easier to take a crowd when they are passing harmlessly in front of you.

When I took my DD on our solo mom/dd trip, I sat her down and told her that I was going to need her help and talked about some important things, like never wandering off/leaving any room unless we were together, asking her to cooperate with me when I needed her to do something and trying extra hard not to let sadness when it was time to leave a park or something like that to turn into a tantrum, to understand that I can't buy her everything she sees that's nice or looks fun even if it would be neat to own all that stuff, and to tell me if she was tired or hungry as soon as she felt that way so we could fix the problem. I really think it helped. I framed it as that I knew she was becoming a big girl and that she was getting old enough to help me make the trip more fun for both of us. (This may have been more relevant with my turning-4 year old than your 6 year old.)

Have a great trip!

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

lol, I saw the world through dd's eyes last year....well actually I saw Gran Fiesta Tour through her eyes last year....we went on that about 10xs, she just couldn't get enough. Knowing how much she loved that ride (she really loved Panchito) I got her the Three Caballeros t-shirt and DVD on our last day. That shirt has been through the wash so much that I am going to have to get her a new one in August, she just LOVES it!

Another thing DD wanted to do was go to the "dig site" @ AK, I really couldn't understand why and actually I hated every second of it (kids were just throwing that sandy rocks everywhere and I was so nervous it was going to end up in her eye ) but I just grinned and allowed her to do it.

On our first day at the parks we were on the bus heading to MK and a family w/ 2 little boys were on the bus. The boys were so beat, it was 8am and they were sleeping on the bus (lol) but we started talking to their parents, and it was their last day at the parks and the mom said they were going to get ice cream for breakfast, its a special treat they do once every year while at Disney, I thought that was pretty cool.

Enjoy your trip, I think thats great that you are going to be spending some 1:1 time with your dd!!! Don't forget to write a trip report

 

[JUJU814]

I can't add to anything anyone else said... I just wanted to pop in and say that you are a really good mom. And your DD is a lucky girl. This is the sweetest thing I've ever read! I can't wait to hear how the trip went.

I'm going to keep the "see it through her eyes" thought in my mind for our upcoming trip.

Thank you EVERYONE for your tips.

I must be really hormonal right now, because this made me cry.

I don't feel like a really good mom most of the time. I feel like a horrible mom because how could I have let my poor little dd "slide through the cracks"

The problem is, up until now, I've always been like "oh she's fine..she'll do fine wherever she is..she does fine at school...fine with friends etc" when in reality, this little girl has been screaming for my attention.

Last night I layed in bed with her for a while and she was just so excited talking about our trip "just the two of us". She tells everyone about it.

I agree she doesn't need control over EVERYTHING. Mama knows best on some things. I KNOW during the thick of March crowds that if she wants to visit Ariel, that'll be the first thing we do. I know how to meet the fairies without taking 2 hours to do it...stuff like that.

I did something with my oldest dd, now 18...this was 15 years ago on her first trip to Disney. She was three. We were in Toon Town sitting somewhere watching these old Disney cartoons, and against my better judgement, I got her the HUGEST round swirly lollipop and let her go to town with it. (what a mess!!! LOL) I might just have to do that..just this once..with Emily.

I've never made a scrapbook of our trips, but I think for this trip, I'm going to prebuy the photopass cd again..especially this trip so we can get lots of pics togther..and actually make the memory book on the site. Anyone done that?

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Dive head first into your trip! Don't think, just do!

From what I hear about the crowds, you ladies will have the run of the park. Let her lead you. Be silly and let go of everything you know.

I've followed some of your posts through the early planning stages of your trip and you really need this vacation!

You can still plan (ADRs, park days, etc) but otherwise go commando. Don't be afraid to let her pick out your clothes, walk around wearing feather boas and funny looking glasses. BE A KID AGAIN!!!!

Relax and take it all in! If DD wants to spend an hour at Pooh's Playful Spot, let her. Enjoy watching her run around and play.

Good luck!

 

[Wenny]

You're a good mom because you realized this was happening:

I don't feel like a really good mom most of the time. I feel like a horrible mom because how could I have let my poor little dd "slide through the cracks"

The problem is, up until now, I've always been like "oh she's fine..she'll do fine wherever she is..she does fine at school...fine with friends etc" when in reality, this little girl has been screaming for my attention.

and did something to stop it:

Last night I layed in bed with her for a while and she was just so excited talking about our trip "just the two of us". She tells everyone about it.

Mother/daughter relationship issues always make me emotional.

 

[JUJU814]

Dive head first into your trip! Don't think, just do!

From what I hear about the crowds, you ladies will have the run of the park. Let her lead you. Be silly and let go of everything you know.

I've followed some of your posts through the early planning stages of your trip and you really need this vacation!

You can still plan (ADRs, park days, etc) but otherwise go commando. Don't be afraid to let her pick out your clothes, walk around wearing feather boas and funny looking glasses. BE A KID AGAIN!!!!

Relax and take it all in! If DD wants to spend an hour at Pooh's Playful Spot, let her. Enjoy watching her run around and play.

Good luck!

Let her pick out my clothes? LOL oh dear!!

I should take her shopping with me before the trip when I'm buying clothes for myself huh? I NEVER would have thought to do that!

Am I the only one who totally forgot what it's like to be a kid?

She LOVES Pooh's Playful Spot.

On the youngest kids' first trip, my son was having severe sensory issues. Dd was only 3. Neither kid wanted a thing to do with the rides or characters. They wanted the pool...and the playgrounds at the parks. We were at Pooh's Playful spot where the splashy water area was. There were tons of kids all dressed in their adorable Disney clothes and many parents were like "no no you can't get wet"..practically ALL the kids there of course wanted to get at that water.

Dh and I were exaccerbated that here we were at Disney and the kids wanted nothing but the playground. Finally, I said: take off their shoes and let them get soaked.

Conveniently, Disney had a gift shop nearby with great pooh and tigger t shirts, hooded towels etc. When the kids were done playing, we took them into the restrooms and changed them into oversized t shirts and hooded towels for the rest of our time there. I swear, it was the most fun they had that trip. At the time, I didn't "stop to enjoy it". I chose to be dismayed about them not enjoying the REST of Disney instead of watching them enjoy this little corner and have a blast. I don't want that to happen again.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Let her pick out my clothes? LOL oh dear!! It's better than me suggesting to let her do your hair!!!

I should take her shopping with me before the trip when I'm buying clothes for myself huh? I NEVER would have thought to do that! A simple trip to the store can give you extra M & M time! It will also help her feel involved in the planning. I'll try things on that I find hideous b/c DS will like it. Grants, many times I've had to come up with the excuse that it doesn't fit, doesn't look right, etc. Last week he asked me to try on a top and I ended up liking it. I would have NEVER picked it out for myself!

Am I the only one who totally forgot what it's like to be a kid? Nope, I have to be reminded quite often lately!

It's very easy to get caught up in the day, especially when you've got kiddos who need lots of attention (which would be my DD lately). I'm the only person she wants to be around. ALL. THE. TIME!

DS is in fits with jealousy and I try my best to do stuff with him, but I know I can't give him as much as he wants. So similar to you OP, we are doing a father/son, mother/daughter day. DH and DS are going to have a basketball day and myself and DD are headed to the museum. It's no Disney, but it's a step! We can only do what we can do.

I can assume that you are doing the best that you can, and your kids can't ask for anything more. You are concious of the situation and are taking steps to make right it for your family.

Go find a Dollar Store and buy some silly girl things for your trip. Maybe each of you could write in a trip journal, something you can keep for many years to come. (Michael's craft store has TONS of Disney stuff in their dollar bins!)

Best wishes - and "YOU GOT THIS!!" Everything will turn out just fine!