How do I motivate an unmotivated kid??

[Tigger&Belle]

Sounds like it's her personality. My 15yo is the same way a lot of the time. Very easy going and yes, unmotivated. You can't change her personality, of course (if that worked, I would have changed things about my son ). Does she do ok in school?

If the cheerleading is her only activity I would hesitate to have her quit unless she really wanted to. And then, at 10yo, I'd have her pick something else to try. How about trying horseback riding lessons (in addition to cheering, if that's possible)? I think that's a great thing for kids her age--it's an individual thing (unless it progresses to the show level), very physical, great for working on balance, and working with a large animal is humbling and satisfying.

I'm going to quote myself...not that I think I'm such a wise person , but because I want to reiterate it. If this is your DD's personality, I think you are best off working with it than trying to change it. It doesn't mean that she will be this way forever, either. And there are positives to such a laid back personality.

I see my 12 and 6yo sons and how driven they are--there are downsides to this kind of self-imposed pressure. They get worked up over things and sometimes don't want to try a new activity because they are afraid of failure (esp my 12yo). My 15yo easy going child will try things, takes risks, and is a much more creative person. Just night and day different than his younger brothers.

 

[manchurianbrownbear]

I just had this discussion with my DS11 yesterday. We’re winding down his spring basketball season. He loves playing and was appalled when I told him he didn’t have to play if he didn’t want to.

We have 11 kids on his team and he is probably around the middle of the pack if you rank their value to the team. But he puts no effort into improving, and it drives me crazy! If he worked on his game 15-30 minutes a day, he would be one of the better players on our team. Since he doesn’t work on his game, he usually does “OK”, but he can be a liability when we’re playing a stronger team.

I guess as he gets older, his apathy will result in less playing time and he’ll have to decide to pick it up, or get cut!