How do I help my nieces? (i.e. murder trial)

[Blondy876]

My nieces mother was shot and killed by her ex back in 2002. This man was on the run for 10 months. He was even featured on America's Most Wanted. Throughout the whole judicial process there have been appeals and motions etc. After all was said and done the trial started today. My nieces are young women, but I know they are hurting and I can't imagine what they are going through. They have to relive that horrible night over and over, every time they see it in the paper. I believe they will be given the option of giving a victims impact statement at the trial and neither girl is sure if they want to. I don't want to push them but I know that it will help them to take back some of the control if they do it.

How do I help them feel strong enough to give a statement if asked? But more generally, how do I help them through the everyday?

 

[MsDisney23]

By Chance could this be The Sever's Trial????? Please tell me it isn't! I used to work with Billy's Father at The Daily Journal. The father was a nice man! His son was always very strange and in trouble!

Well turns out my DH had ended up and bought the Sever's Home! Yes you heard right! DD and I moved into this house right before DH and I got married, this was before the murder!

Now Billy murder's his girlfriend (Shooting her to death in a park across the street while she was standing at a car) One sniper like bullet killed her! Now he is on the run and yes it is on America's Most Wanted! Now our home was under servelance as it is not unusal for a murder to return to their homestead! Great I thought! Now Billy's father had died of a heart attack.

10 months later they find him! He had been working in the South, Virginia as a dishwasher!

We ended selling the house! Our DD had a hard time sleeping in her bedroom (which used to be Billy Sever's old bedroom). His father had dropped dead in front of the house, and his mother ended up nuts!

 

[Mama Twinkles]

Can you let us know their approximate ages before we advise you?

ETA: Oh, I see now that they are young women.

Okay, here's one opinion: The fact that they may one day wish for the opportunity to confront the man who did this or to express to the court the true impact of this awful crime, they may not be ready right now, and doing so could be more traumatizing than empowering. I think you should support them in doing whatever they need to do to get through this time, whether that means testifying or keeping quiet.

 

[Blondy876]

By Chance could this be The Sever's Trial????? Please tell me it isn't!

Yes, that's the one.

Can you let us know their approximate ages before we advise you?

ETA: Oh, I see now that they are young women.

Okay, here's one opinion: The fact that they may one day wish for the opportunity to confront the man who did this or to express to the court the true impact of this awful crime, they may not be ready right now, and doing so could be more traumatizing than empowering. I think you should support them in doing whatever they need to do to get through this time, whether that means testifying or keeping quiet.

One is 20 and the other is 17.

 

[dmslush]

You should encourage them to contact their local domestic violence shelter for assistance in counseling and possibly an advocate who will go to court with them. I routinely go to court with victim's and their survivors just so that they will have a support and so that they will have someone who will explain ever step of the trial to them.

 

[What the Heck]

How do I help them feel strong enough to give a statement if asked? But more generally, how do I help them through the everyday?

By being there. By listening when they want to talk. By talking when they want to listen. By just being there.

Treat the everyday as it is - every day. Do the best you can with what you have. Cry when you feel like crying, laugh when you feel like laughing.

Most of all, just love them. May God bless you and your nieces.

 

[luvthatduke]

I agree with contacting your local domestic violence advocate,
also known in these parts as Victim Assistance.
If your nieces don't want to voice their impact statement
now, or if they don't want to speak "live," they can usually
videotape their statement at the Victim Assistance office.
I can't say enough about the women at our office,
who recorded my impact statement and my DM's so that
we could speak to the drunken driver who killed my niece (15).
His trial was in California, and we live in PA.
Blessings and comfort to all of you... How tragic.