How did you/your child choose a college?

[bananiem]

Originally posted by MaryAnnDVC
Financially, I get the awful feeling we're in the awful middle ground area of income...making too much money to get much in the way of aid, and not enough to pay for it ourselves. Hopefully, DD will get some good merit scholarships.
COLOR]

My advice- HIDE ANY MONEY IN HER NAME AND YOURS TOO!! That being said...My sister sent her only child to the "school of her dreams" last year. They had roped her in at fairs saying "99% of the kids who need financial aid get 100% of what they ask." HA! My BIL has Parkinson's disease and has been medically disabled for about 5-6 years. My sister has their house paid off and is putting the previous mortgage amount into their long term savings for the day when he needs nursing care or a nursing home. My niece had social security from the time her father was declared unable to work until she turned 18. They had put the social security in her name in her savings account. The school did not give her the amount she needed because of these other funds, although earmarked for something else they take it anyway and you get that much less financial aid. My sister was told to take out a second mortgage on her home.
Also scholarships are handled the same way. Depending on how much you get in scholarships, if you tell them, they take it off of their financial aid offer. Try to tell them about scholarships late in the game.
Also, use what other schools are giving in aid against other schools. If they want her they may offer more aid.

 

[minniecarousel]

Since neither of mine graduated from the school they started at.....well, here's my advice anyway!
College fairs - hopefully, there's one somewhere near you. Our school district hosts one every year for the 3 HS in the our district & there's a huge one every year at a near-by private university. Visiting - even during the summer - is a good start. Does her HS have a career center? If so - that's another place to go for college info.

 

[danacara]

It's funny, all five of us were told from day 1 that transferring was not an option. What we started, we had to finish. And it looks like all five of us are going to finish (my youngest brother is a sophomore at U. Tampa). I think my mother was trying to put it into our heads on Day 1 that we had to find a way to make this work, no failing, no freaking out because we "didn't like the people" or "didn't like the environment." It was "find people you like and a way to manage or no more college money for you!"

It was an interesting strategy, not one for everyone of course, but it sends the kid to school with a different mindset. And if the kid really, truly hates it after he or she has given it a fair shot, you as mom can always change your mind.

 

[Talking Hands]

My daughters picked their school because of the Miami String Quartet were the resident string quartet there. The violist had been my older daughter teacher in high school and when he asked her to come join him at FIU she accepted then her sister followed.

 

[caitycaity]

First, if your daughter wants to go to med school, I wouldn't recommend a pre-med major. She'd be better off majoring in straight biology or chemistry, or even something totally different (economics, English) and fulfilling the pre-med requirements on the side. As crazy as it is, medical schools don't think terribly highly of a pre-med major, per se, because they want to create an interesting mix of people at their medical school, and they want to see upper-level classes on an undergrad transcript; generally pre-med majors do not require many upper-level classes. Most tier one colleges, private and public, offer a pre-med program that anyone can take, but no major per se. The same is true of law schools and pre-law majors. I know it's odd, it surprised me too when I learned about it.

so true. none of my friends who went on to med school did pre-med. they all did bio or chem. alll of them got into highly ranked med schools. their advisors at school told them the same thing.

as for how to choose a school, you can find books that are put out either at the library or at a bookstore that describe and give info about universities all over the country. some of these books are even broken down into major fields of study. they will have lists in them of which school are the best for which majors and then you can read the descriptions and narrow down a list of those that sound interesting from there.

i would encourage her to apply to a wide range of schools. my guidance counselor told me to apply to 9-12 schools, at least 3 safeties, 3 mid-range, and 3 reaches.

i visted a couple of places before i applied, but really most of my visits were done after i had applied and been accepted. i thought i knew exactly where i wanted to go, but after visiting campuses, i totally fell in love with one of my safeties that i had applied to on a lark. conveniently, they also gave me the most financial aid. the visits really drove where i ended up; the place i thought i wanted to go ended up giving me "bad vibes."

as for financial aid, my parents were in the same boat. they didn't make enough to pay for my top choices outright, but they had too much money for me to qualify for a lot of financial aid. fortunately the place i ended up attending gave me a full scholarship, so i was able to graduate without any loans. it was really nice not to have those loans now that i am in grad school. when i start my Ph.D. program it will probably be financed almost exclusively by loans.

 

[Fire14]

I chose my school Because both my parents went there they both told me why waste your money on a BIG ten Univ. for first 2 yrs and pay mucho bucks when you can take same classes at CC and save money. THan if you so choose transfer to a 4 yr school for last 2 years where you will be taking your degree classes more so.

The 2 colleges I truly had my heart set on were both fairly close to my parents. Cost played a big factor for me, as did fact that I got right into nursing program at CC versuses praying I'd get into program at 4 year which was very tough to get into.

I would be doing clincials at same places no matter which I chose, and actually I got more respect from the Nurses I worked with as a student going to cc than 4 yr girls did.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

That's truly commendable, Dana, that it worked out so well for all 5 of you, and no, that approach is not for me.

I don't have a "whatever you want, honey" attitude, about anything, much less college. I have discussed many things about what I've learned from RL with my kids, including the fact that college is VERY different from anything they've ever experienced before, and attending college itself is a learning experience, and they may learn new things about themselves which could alter their plans. Into my 3rd year of college, I began to think that accounting wasn't for me, but that perhaps carpentry was. But I stuck with accounting, because I felt I "couldn't" back out at that point. Perhaps I'll still pursue carpentry someday (I'm 45 now), but at this point, with 3 kids to put through college, almost one right after the other, the kids come first, and really, I'm looking forward more to DH retiring and moving to Florida, than persuing old dreams.

College offers way more opportunity to find out what's "out there", and if they discover something that they didn't know even existed and wish to consider, then so be it. I'm not going to receive a phone call one day from my kids telling me "I changed my mind..." and reply, "Sure!...it's only money." I'm also not going to make them think that "this is it...at 17, you sure as hell better know what you want to do for the rest of your life." We would obviously need to discuss the issues and options.

I've also *horrors* told my kids that they do NOT have to go to college if what they choose to do does not require it. And that they do NOT have to go right after high school if some other opportunity presents itself, ie traveling...I do not want them to think that they have to fulfill some dream of OURS, nor do they have to impress their, or our, friends, by pursuing something that they don't want to do. I DON'T tell them that in a way that blurts out that statement, devoid of any discussion about life and their futures. I've taught them to be responsible with regard to school (they are ALL straight A students WITHOUT my hanging over/helping them with schoolwork, with DD#1 in the HS Honors Program, and DD#2 going into it next year in her freshman year), sports, and everything they commit to. I've advised them to take advantage of opportunities to find out about careers BEFORE college, ie, for DD to work/volunteer now in a hospital, joining clubs at school, doing community service, talking to teachers.

Amazingly enough, all 3 of my kids (15, 13, and 11) have no doubt at this point that they WILL attend college. My DD, 13, recently said to me about a friend of hers "Why would anyone NOT want to go to college??"

What I DO expect from my kids is that they be law-abiding, drug-free, contributing members of society, and if that means that my son, OR MY DAUGHTERS, love to tinker with cars and wants to be a mechanic, then so be it even if *gasp* the neighbors aren't impressed. I might, in this case, suggest that he/she take some business courses if he/she is considering owning a car repair business...and then it's up to him/her to make the decision.

 

[danacara]

Originally posted by MaryAnnDVC
That's truly commendable, Dana, that it worked out so well for all 5 of you, and no, that approach is not for me.

I don't have a "whatever you want, honey" attitude, about anything, much less college. I have discussed many things about what I've learned from RL with my kids, including the fact that college is VERY different from anything they've ever experienced before, and attending college itself is a learning experience, and they may learn new things about themselves which could alter their plans. Into my 3rd year of college, I began to think that accounting wasn't for me, but that perhaps carpentry was. But I stuck with accounting, because I felt I "couldn't" back out at that point. Perhaps I'll still pursue carpentry someday (I'm 45 now), but at this point, with 3 kids to put through college, almost one right after the other, the kids come first, and really, I'm looking forward more to DH retiring and moving to Florida, than persuing old dreams.

College offers way more opportunity to find out what's "out there", and if they discover something that they didn't know even existed and wish to consider, then so be it. I'm not going to receive a phone call one day from my kids telling me "I changed my mind..." and reply, "Sure!...it's only money." I'm also not going to make them think that "this is it...at 17, you sure as hell better know what you want to do for the rest of your life." We would obviously need to discuss the issues and options.

I've also *horrors* told my kids that they do NOT have to go to college if what they choose to do does not require it. And that they do NOT have to go right after high school if some other opportunity presents itself, ie traveling...I do not want them to think that they have to fulfill some dream of OURS, nor do they have to impress their, or our, friends, by pursuing something that they don't want to do. I DON'T tell them that in a way that blurts out that statement, devoid of any discussion about life and their futures. I've taught them to be responsible with regard to school (they are ALL straight A students WITHOUT my hanging over/helping them with schoolwork, with DD#1 in the HS Honors Program, and DD#2 going into it next year in her freshman year), sports, and everything they commit to. I've advised them to take advantage of opportunities to find out about careers BEFORE college, ie, for DD to work/volunteer now in a hospital, joining clubs at school, doing community service, talking to teachers.

Amazingly enough, all 3 of my kids (15, 13, and 11) have no doubt at this point that they WILL attend college. My DD, 13, recently said to me about a friend of hers "Why would anyone NOT want to go to college??"

What I DO expect from my kids is that they be law-abiding, drug-free, contributing members of society, and if that means that my son, OR MY DAUGHTERS, love to tinker with cars and wants to be a mechanic, then so be it even if *gasp* the neighbors aren't impressed. I might, in this case, suggest that he/she take some business courses if he/she is considering owning a car repair business...and then it's up to him/her to make the decision.

All commendable as well. To each, her own. I do want to clarify that we were encouraged to switch majors as much as we liked, but we were told that transferring schools was not an option.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally posted by danacara
All commendable as well. To each, her own. I do want to clarify that we were encouraged to switch majors as much as we liked, but we were told that transferring schools was not an option.

If that's possible, then great. My DH decided after his sophomore year at Berklee College for Music that he no longer wanted to be a music teacher. We met at another college, where we both majored in Accounting. He's the CFO of a women's accessories company. Couldn't get that education at Berklee. Having had that experience tho, I'm sure, if a similar situation presented itself for our kids, we'd discuss the restrictive opportunities a college like Berklee would offer.

 

[msteddom]

I chose UCLA because my grandmother went there. my parents went there and several of my uncles went there. It was the best thing I have ever done for myself and I wouldn't do a thing differently.



Melissa

 

[missypie]

Once I decided my major, I discovered that only one state school in my state offered it (private was out of the question financially), so that is where I went. I applied and was admitted without ever having visited the school.

I graduated in 3 1/2 years. So many kids now are on the 5 (or more) year plan. No way would I have expected my parents to pay for more than 4 years.

 

[Lynn CC]

DS who is a Junior this year is taking AP courses in High School. He wants to go to Harvard. His other choices are all Ivy Legue and within driving distance. He doesn't like to fly.
Since your DD is so smart (congratulations to her!), she should go to the best school she can get into. Next year they will visit a lot more colleges than they did this year (which was 2)...
Collegeboard.com is a great site for them to learn about everything they need to know about the whole process. Maybe her guidance councelor can help or see if she will go to a college fair. (DS's school has this once a year).

 

[Aurora63]

I chose FSU for two simple reasons:

1. It was in state, for tuition purposes.

2. It was far enough away from home that I wouldn't see parents a lot. That likely sounds a bit harsh, but at the time, it was the best thing for all of us!

 

[kadaten]

I went to the school that offered the most money without a financial aid form being filled out.

My 'rents were in the throws of trying to scr** the other the most and they thought the other one would get nailed with tuition bills if they didn't fill out the form Neither would give me the info so the only one it hurt was me I was recruited by several schools based on my SAT scores and being a National Merit Finalist, but so many have rules they can't get around for financial aid awards (need-based rather than merit only), only one gave me close to enough to pay the bills.

I ended up at the College of Charleston, in Charleston, SC, a small, public in-state school that was wonderful and luckily had my desired degree. They're consistently ranked as one of the best for getting an "Ivy League education at a state school". I absolutely LOVED the College, and miss it very much! I didn't really want to go there to start with since I had my mind set on going out-of-state (to get away from aforementioned parents) but I figured it was better than not going! It was, it was wonderful, and I just LOVED it!

But I beg you....don't make your daughter (?) decide the way I had to!!

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

I wanted a small private college coming from a private very small high school.

I asked people for their recommendations then I went online and took some tests to see what they recommended.

How did I choose dePauw which is where I am now?
I walked onto campus and fell in love with the college. I just knew it was where I belonged.

 

[TalkisCheap]

Well, for my brother, he went to alot of schools, but none really made him feel like "Oh! I really like it here, I wanna spend the next four years here!" Until he went to Villanova. After our tour(it helped to have an AWESOME tour guide)when we got back into the car, he immediatly went into how much he loved it, and how he didn't want to look at anymore colleges. Well, hes a freshman there and loves it...couldn't be happier!!

My sister, on the other hand, is a junior and the most important thing about the college is -
a) Pretty Campus
b) Good tennis program
So she has been looking into Fairfield(but after a visit to the campus, that was off her list) James Madison, perhaps Wakeforest, and Lehigh. She is seriously considering James Madison, but thinks she might be able to get a Wakeforest tennis scholarship. She doesn't want to decide anything, though without going to see them first.

As for me, I'm 13 and I already know I want to go to Villanova University. In my mind, there is no other college I even want to think about! After being to B.C, Tufts, Fairfield, Lehigh, Lafayette, Villanova, Notre Dame, and Bowdion and definatly more this summer for my sister, I still love Villanova...!

 

[Kitty 34]

I picked my college (Concordia Teachers College) because I wanted to be a teacher and a friend of mine was going there. It being near Chicago was exciting, also, for a little hometown girl like myself!!

My oldest DS picked his college (Hillsdale) because he got a full ride basketball scholarship there.

My other DS is a Junior right now and has his heart set on an engineering type of school but hasn't chosen one yet.

 

[monarchsfan16]

I'm in the middle of searching for a college right now. I'm a junior, so it's starting to get pretty overwhelming. I have ideas about what I want, and of course my parents have ideas about what they want. My mom wants me to go to Saint Anselms college, which is litterally 20 minutes from our house. I'm trying to eliminate all schools within the state of NH, because the only 2 that I would ever possibly consider are within commuter distance, and I want to live at the school. If the school is a short distance away, my mom WILL want me to live at home. I'm pretty much going to tour all the schools I want to tour, and to make my mother happy I will tour the ones she wants me to tour, but she knows that in the end I will apply where I want to apply, because in the whole college thing, the most important thing is for the student to be happy with the school. We've been to a couple college fairs, I spend a lot of time on collegeboard.com, and we'll begin touring campuses in a few weeks.
To elaborate on the premed thing, that is actually the track I am also interested in as well. Most schools do not have a premed major at all; it is an advisory program, making sure that you complete the requirements, preparing you for the MCAT's, etc. So she can major in virtually anything she wants too.

 

[Snoozan's twin]

Having my oldest DD in her sophmore year at college right now, I know what NOT to do in the search with my DD who is a H.S. junior right now. It is important that they look at and apply to the schools that interest THEM most, not the ones you want them to go to! (Nothing like living your life through your kids!) Oldest DD is about 80 miles from home and comes home every other weekend or so, but the freshman year was tough with homesickness. Younger DD wants to go to Florida, about 1500 miles away! I hope she doesn't suffer from homesickness as not so easy to come home!

 

[Evil Princess]

I wanted a school in the Northeast, possibly near a city. I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of a school in the middle of nowhere. I chose Boston because I grew up on Long Island and didn't want to be so close to home in NYC.

I originally had my heart set on Boston University. The second month of my senior year I took a trip to Boston and visited a few schools in the area, BU being the first. I could tell right away that the way the school operated and was laid out was not for me.

Visited Northeastern University as an afterthought and fell in love with the campus. I took a tour and knew right then that it would be the better choice.

My freshman year classes end in two weeks! Ironically, I hated it here the first semester and was set on transfering. My parents made me stick it out at least for a year, and this semester was much better. I'll be comming back in the fall.

Good luck college searching! BTW, Berklee is around the corner from my dorm room, literally.