How can people live so nasty?

[Horseshoes]

Some people just get overwhelmed with all that needs to be done and then dont do anything at all.

My best friend lives like this. Her kitchen tile was breaking apart so they decided to re do it. They took it off and then covered the floor with green indoor/outdoor carpeting, but they didnt have enough so they finished it off with old grey carpet padding and duct taped it together. That was 6 years ago, and its still that way.

She painted her hall way and ran out of paint, so half of it is green and half of it is white, never finished it.

Her master bath is full of mold, wallpaper hanging off and a big hole in the wall.

Carpet stains that cant come out.

They are not poor by any means, just overwhelmed by all that needs to be done. She admits her house is a disaster.

 

[ducklite]

Where in NJ is this property? My DH and I are actually looking for a flip, this sounds like the perfect candidate for us...

Is it structurally sound? We're looking for something that needs carpet, paint, lots of elbow grease and some TLC, but no major plumbing/electrical/structural/engineering issues.

Anne

 

[summerrluvv]

If her home is in foreclosure and a sale date hasn't been set, they won't just "padlock" the door. The property actually has to go to sale before that happens. If she can't get into contract by April 12 and that is in fact the sale date, then she should consult an attorney to file a Chapter 13 bankruptcy which will stop the sale. That would buy more time to do repairs and get the best price and they would just withdraw the BK prior to the closing. It's something you should mention to her because it will make you and her more $$ if she fixes it up a bit.

 

[jenks0718]

Where in NJ is this property? My DH and I are actually looking for a flip, this sounds like the perfect candidate for us...

Is it structurally sound? We're looking for something that needs carpet, paint, lots of elbow grease and some TLC, but no major plumbing/electrical/structural/engineering issues.

Anne

The house is in Lindenwold, NJ. From what I gather, a home inspection was done and there is termite damage in the garage only and the garage (detached) may have to come down. There is an "extra" lot next to the house 50x100 that comes with it too, but another house cant be built on it because of zoning. The roof needs to be replaced, there are a few electrical problems. A TON of cosmetic work. No replacement windows. If I had the cash I would buy it, but I dont. PM if you want me to email you the MLS info once I load it.

 

[jenks0718]

If her home is in foreclosure and a sale date hasn't been set, they won't just "padlock" the door. The property actually has to go to sale before that happens. If she can't get into contract by April 12 and that is in fact the sale date, then she should consult an attorney to file a Chapter 13 bankruptcy which will stop the sale. That would buy more time to do repairs and get the best price and they would just withdraw the BK prior to the closing. It's something you should mention to her because it will make you and her more $$ if she fixes it up a bit.

The problem with the chapter 13 is that they filed 4 years ago and can not refile so soon. They tried to get their finances in order, but now they are behind on their bankrupcty payments.

 

[ducklite]

The problem with the chapter 13 is that they filed 4 years ago and can not refile so soon. They tried to get their finances in order, but now they are behind on their bankrupcty payments.

Actually I think they can refile a 13 again, just not a 7. But if there is no way of possibly completing a 13, it will be dismissed and they will have wasted the legal fees.

Anne

 

[ducklite]

The house is in Lindenwold, NJ. From what I gather, a home inspection was done and there is termite damage in the garage only and the garage (detached) may have to come down. There is an "extra" lot next to the house 50x100 that comes with it too, but another house cant be built on it because of zoning. The roof needs to be replaced, there are a few electrical problems. A TON of cosmetic work. No replacement windows. If I had the cash I would buy it, but I dont. PM if you want me to email you the MLS info once I load it.

More work than we want to deal with. As soon as the magic word "roof" comes into play, I'm out. Unfortunately my "cheap roofer" is no longer going to be doing roofing...

We're more interested in something that needs a lot of cosmetic work, paint, fixtures, carpet, even some drywall that we can do ourselves.

Anne

 

[FreshTressa]

I feel bad for her.

Once things start to fall apart, it can be hard to get them back and people just kind of give up.

I hope she gets this place sold so she can move on!

 

[KAMLEM]

There are probably other issues going on with the owners other than just being busy or unorganized, (or lazy), like a form of mental illness, alcoholism, drugs, etc. that prevent the owners from keeping things together 100%.

You may be right, I have seen it before. I can't imagine someone without one of these issues living that way. It's bad enough that an adult lives like that but to force a child to live that way is just neglectful.

 

[poohandwendy]

recent bankruptcy, divorce, foreclosure, raising kids alone...wow, sounds like she has no hope left. Some poor choices in the past possibly and now in a hole that may feel 1000 feet deep. In my opinion, when people stop taking care of their own surroundings and/or themselves, they have to feel pretty low about themselves.

So to answer your question "Why do people live so nasty?" In the situation you describe, I would guess she is clinically depressed and feels overwhelmed and hopeless. That is a shame, especially for the kids who need mom to take care of things.

 

[FreshTressa]

Hehe, maybe the kids have fun growing up like that...they can write on the walls, put stickers everywhere...kinda sounds like my kids dream

 

[ducklite]

recent bankruptcy, divorce, foreclosure, raising kids alone...wow, sounds like she has no hope left. Some poor choices in the past possibly and now in a hole that may feel 1000 feet deep. In my opinion, when people stop taking care of their own surroundings and/or themselves, they have to feel pretty low about themselves.

So to answer your question "Why do people live so nasty?" In the situation you describe, I would guess she is clinically depressed and feels overwhelmed and hopeless. That is a shame, especially for the kids who need mom to take care of things.

I agree. I've seen this type of thing happen with a few people I've known over the years. I can't imagine being in a situation where you know that you and your kids ar eprobably going to be "homeless" in the not so distant future. That in itself is enough to make most people depressed and hopeless.

Anne

Anne

 

[summerrluvv]

The problem with the chapter 13 is that they filed 4 years ago and can not refile so soon. They tried to get their finances in order, but now they are behind on their bankrupcty payments.

They are currently in the bankruptcy? You can re-file as many Chapter 13's as you want..although after a certain point the court dismisses them with prejudice barring them from refiling for 180 days. They really should talk to the BK attorney about withdrawing the current BK and refiling just to stop the sale date (if that's in fact what they have is a sale date).

 

[Cindyluwho]

You all keep talking about how the kids will grow up and not know any better so I just have to chime in here.
My mother forced us to live like that. Our house was an absolute pig sty. Not just messy (which it was) but filthy. Dog feces, cat feces, I can't even list all of the filthy crap I had to live with. And before you flame me for not cleaning it myself - trust me, I tried. I was mortified to live in that house. I visited other kids' homes and I knew mine wasn't normal. When I tried to clean house my mother would yell at me and cry and say I was embarrassed by her (exactly!). My issue now is that I never, never feel my home is clean enough. It's hard for me to have people over even if I've just cleaned because I'm afraid of what they'll think. And BTW I DO keep my house clean.

Now back to the OP. I was at a Realtors convention just last week and there's an amazing new stuff out called "Fresh Ayre", I hope I'm spelling that right. It's supposed to work better than anything out there, especially on animal odors. Good luck on the sale and make sure that there will be $$ left over after leins, etc to pay your commission. Check with the title company for leins. There's nothing worse than working your backside off and coming down to closing and there's nothing left to pay you with

 

[poohandwendy]

I think when people use the phrase "Kids won't know any better", they aren't saying that they literally cannot keep a clean house, just that they have not been given the tools most people are given and many will consider it normal and not be uncomfortable living that way.

I know many, many people who do not perpetuate the poor examples of their parents. They are the strong ones who choose to rise above...the weak ones end up in the same sad situations, sometimes even worse.

Kudos to you cindylu, for rising above. Sorry you had to experience that as a child.

 

[FreshTressa]

I think I was pretty traumatized growing up in my mom's spotless house where she would pick up my toys AS I was playing with them.

I was never allowed to have toys out of my bedroom, and all my clothes had to hang the same direction in the closet.

It was one step short of no wire hangers and a comet disaster.

 

[disneyaggie]

Thanks for the advice on the Natures Miracle. Can I pick that up at Petsmart? I may just buy some and take it to her. If it helps that smell I will try anything.

Two of my favorite products purchased at Petco:

1) Natures Miracle -- I am a firm believer in Natures Miracle (buy it by the gallon -- no joke). I am training two rescue chihuahuas (the third, thank goodness is already housebroken). Though they try to go on the peedle pads, they sometimes, "choose" to use my carpet. Not a nice thing. Nature's Miracle takes out the stain and, for the most part, the smell.

2) Earth Care Products -- this is a powder you sprinkle on the carpet and let it sit for 24 hours. It is awesome. I use in in conjunction with Nature's Miracle. The round cylander can reads "Guaranteed to CLEAR THE AIR". Below that is a round red circle with a line drawn through it. Inside the circle are the words "Pet Urine Smells". It is awesome! However, when vacuuming it up, you have to vacuum VERY SLOWLY. It takes a while to get the granules out of the carpet. But it sure does work.

 

[HOGFAN]

sounds like my nieces house. They started building over 20 years ago. They have money btw. There is still mud on the drywall, sheets over the doorframes, the closets are not finished, and they piecemealed' the wood paneling(big gaps) . and its about to fall in on them.

 

[C.Ann]

Sounds like a house I went to look at with my DD and her DH a couple of years ago.. Tons of wall tiles missing in random places in the bathroom; rust in the bathtub; commercial flourescent lights hanging from the ceiling (just the light tubes - no casings); wallpaper peeling off in the bedroom; borders peeling off in the kitchen; a tv that was "set" into the wall of the living room - with the back coming out into the closet of the bedroom behind it; a very mean dog in a cage - and here's the real kicker - the entire garage was FILLED with dog poop!!!!!

Even if these people were as poor as church mice, you can't tell me they couldn't have at LEAST cleaned the poop out of the garage!!! What on earth were they thinking???????????????????

 

[poohandwendy]

I think I was pretty traumatized growing up in my mom's spotless house where she would pick up my toys AS I was playing with them.

I was never allowed to have toys out of my bedroom, and all my clothes had to hang the same direction in the closet.

It was one step short of no wire hangers and a comet disaster.

Ok, I can't help it... that made me LOL...I had forgotten about the Comet scene until I read that.

I know it's seriously not funny, but just the way you wrote that has me...