How can I stay positive on my trip?

[ajollyholidaywithjo]

I'm set to go to Disney next week but life is kind of stressing me out and I'm worried I'll be bummed the entire time. My whole family goes this time every year, so it's a really special occasion. My parents pay for most of my share, but I decided to extend the trip by two days and I'm paying for that myself. it's been a tough year, I had three surgeries and emergency organ removal because of early-stage cancer, so I just wanted to treat myself.

My workplace has been going through some budget cuts, and people are worried major layoffs are coming next year. And it's all I can think about. I'm upset all the time. I'm worried about spending money on the trip, and even going on the trip, because what if it's all I think about the entire time, and I'm just crying in Disney, instead of at home?

There's a chance I'll be happy when I get there, since it is my favorite place, but I also don't want to ruin it. But my family said they won't go if I don't.

 

[TinkAgainU]

I just did a trip under somewhat similar circumstances - I was a little more careful financially but still allowed for some treats. I found the trip to be good exercise and enjoyed the ambiance so much. True it will not “fix” anything but a few new happy memories are good for your long term health. Go. Enjoy. (Hugs)

 

[NYCgrrl]

Stop worrying about things you can’t control and enjoy your vacay which you DO control .

Have a wonderful time!

 

[focusondisney]

I'm set to go to Disney next week but life is kind of stressing me out and I'm worried I'll be bummed the entire time. My whole family goes this time every year, so it's a really special occasion. My parents pay for most of my share, but I decided to extend the trip by two days and I'm paying for that myself. it's been a tough year, I had three surgeries and emergency organ removal because of early-stage cancer, so I just wanted to treat myself.

My workplace has been going through some budget cuts, and people are worried major layoffs are coming next year. And it's all I can think about. I'm upset all the time. I'm worried about spending money on the trip, and even going on the trip, because what if it's all I think about the entire time, and I'm just crying in Disney, instead of at home?

There's a chance I'll be happy when I get there, since it is my favorite place, but I also don't want to ruin it. But my family said they won't go if I don't.

If your parents are paying most of your trip, can you cancel your extra days? That way you’ll still get time with your family, but you won’t have the extra financial burden in case things don’t go well at work. There might be change fees for flights, so you’d have to see if it is cost effective. How is your financial situation if a layoff happens to you? Are there changes you can start planning to boost your savings & cut expenses in case you do get laid off? Stress is one of the worst things for your health long term. Getting a plan started might help lessen the stress & help you enjoy your trip. I hope you’ll be able to relax on the trip. To help you you get cited for the trip, try thinking about going as a gift of time & memories to your parents. Even if they’re paying, just being with you will make them so happy. My kids are in their 30s & 40s. I truly value & appreciate the times we’re together, especially on trips. I hope everything works out for you.

 

[starlite_]

Honestly? What better way to keep your mind off the stress and get a little extra serotonin than spending time at Disney??? You've had a hard year and it sounds like the next one might be hard too, so enjoy your vacation, take a lil breather from reality and be refreshed to tackle the next year whatever may come.

 

[Snowflakey]

Of course you should go! I'd bet a good portion of people at Disney when you are there have some sort of life stress they are dealing with. It's life and unfortunately upsetting things happen. Stop the tears, be thankful you have a wonderful family who wants you to accompany them and celebrate Disney.

I can say this because I know what you are going through. I got the news I had breast cancer and was losing my job of 26 years (best job ever!!!) all in the same week.

 

[MamaMermaid]

I know it's easy for me to say but... "worrying is suffering twice." Enjoy the trip and try to remember to focus on only what YOU can control.

I'd also like to gently suggest therapy or medication - it makes a world of difference and really can be a great tool for functioning. I started anti-anxiety meds in 2018 and have never looked back. Sending hugs!

 

[#1hoosierfan]

If you go on the trip and get laid off will you not be able to pay your bills or otherwise have money trouble? If so, I would probably cancel the extra days. If not, I would go and enjoy. If your parents are paying for the first part of the trip I would go and enjoy. You can worry later. =)

 

[CynBeth]

Please go and enjoy yourself be thankful you got through what you did and celebrate. Do not worry about something that might not even happen. I am having a rough time of it right now after being blindsided about most of us getting laid off in 2 months they are outsourcing most of the positions.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Another vote to go and enjoy yourself!! Nothing is guaranteed, so take this chance while you can. If you lose your job next year, you'll tighten your budget then and find something even better. For now, celebrate the end of your recent health troubles and the time with family! Disney is great for immersing you in the bubble and blocking out everything else!

In fact, we once took a trip after my DH was laid off. It was already paid for, so we embraced the time together before he got a new job and was low man on the vacation totem pole again.

 

[ajollyholidaywithjo]

I know it's easy for me to say but... "worrying is suffering twice." Enjoy the trip and try to remember to focus on only what YOU can control.

I'd also like to gently suggest therapy or medication - it makes a world of difference and really can be a great tool for functioning. I started anti-anxiety meds in 2018 and have never looked back. Sending hugs!

I'm in therapy and on medication! I'm just an overall anxious person. Lol. But it helps.

 

[fly girl]

Disney is an escape, allow yourself to do just that! Get caught up in the magic surrounding you.

No doubt, easier said than done. I am a worrier and a dweller so I understand. But here is the man himself telling you. I refer to it often as it is absolutely true!

 

[MrsPete]

If you go on the trip and get laid off will you not be able to pay your bills or otherwise have money trouble? If so, I would probably cancel the extra days. If not, I would go and enjoy. If your parents are paying for the first part of the trip I would go and enjoy. You can worry later. =)

I'm thinking along these same lines. Just how bad would it be for you if you're laid off?
- If you can say, "If I were laid off, I'd have to cut back, but I'd not be in real trouble. I'd get some severance, and I have some svings. I'd be able to pay my rent /mortgage for about 6 months -- and within that time, I feel sure I could find another job." Then go ahead and go. You might not be laid off at all, and you'd do okay.
- On the other hand, if you'd say, "I'd be seriously dire straits, if I were laid off. I don't have enough savings and/or finding another job is likely to take some time." Then skip the trip. If "the worst" would really derail your life for some time, then it's not worthwhile.

 

[focusondisney]

I'm thinking along these same lines. Just how bad would it be for you if you're laid off?
- If you can say, "If I were laid off, I'd have to cut back, but I'd not be in real trouble. I'd get some severance, and I have some svings. I'd be able to pay my rent /mortgage for about 6 months -- and within that time, I feel sure I could find another job." Then go ahead and go. You might not be laid off at all, and you'd do okay.
- On the other hand, if you'd say, "I'd be seriously dire straits, if I were laid off. I don't have enough savings and/or finding another job is likely to take some time." Then skip the trip. If "the worst" would really derail your life for some time, then it's not worthwhile.

I agree with this, except the post says the parents will be paying for most of the trip. The OP is extending a few days & that is the portion they’re paying themselves. That’s why I suggested just cancelling the portion the OP is paying for. There’s probably no reason to cancel a trip when someone else is paying for it.

 

[Keladry84]

I'm set to go to Disney next week but life is kind of stressing me out and I'm worried I'll be bummed the entire time. My whole family goes this time every year, so it's a really special occasion. My parents pay for most of my share, but I decided to extend the trip by two days and I'm paying for that myself. it's been a tough year, I had three surgeries and emergency organ removal because of early-stage cancer, so I just wanted to treat myself.

My workplace has been going through some budget cuts, and people are worried major layoffs are coming next year. And it's all I can think about. I'm upset all the time. I'm worried about spending money on the trip, and even going on the trip, because what if it's all I think about the entire time, and I'm just crying in Disney, instead of at home?

There's a chance I'll be happy when I get there, since it is my favorite place, but I also don't want to ruin it. But my family said they won't go if I don't.

Being in an unstable place at work is hard, especially over an extended time. My previous job we had declining student enrollment over several years. I survived 1 round of layoffs but the threat of it happening again was always there. The nail in the head was the pandemic. I realized around February 2020 that layoffs were probably inevitable and, correctly so, estimated that I was probably on the list this time. I didn't find out for sure until the day my current contract ended in Mid-May and was unemployed overnight.

Some things that help:
- start taking action now. Update your resume. Think about what jobs or things you would be interested in doing. If you aren't qualified for it, take steps to become qualified. You don't need to quit your current job, but start putting into place your contingency plan so it's ready to pull the trigger IF it happens. Make a back-up contingency plan. Being laid off is not something that you can control. But you can take control of your own situation by giving yourself options if the worst does happen. By the time I was actually laid off, I had 3 different options in play, and ended up with a new position within 10 days of the notice. Had I not gotten that, I had a 1-year graduate program giving me new qualifications and access to student loans to help financially and bridge the gap. These options were there because I took action proactively.

- try not to dwell on it. Go on the trip - it will help with distraction. It's hard but try not to put your life on hold for something that may or may not actually happen in the future. If you are worried about money, cancel the extra days but travel for the part your family is helping fund. I also have trouble with things I'm worrying about looping and getting stuck in my head. I use a couple of strategies to help:
- acknowledge to myself what I am feeling, but then do a reality check of my current immediate and present situation. If I were in Disney with your situation, my self-talk might be like this:
-----I am worried about getting laid off in the future. I can't control if this happens. Right now I am ok. I have a job, I will get a check for this month, and I've taken X steps to help myself if I do get laid off. Right now I am in Disney. I can't do anything to help the job situation right now. I choose not to think about it and to enjoy my time here with my family. It is ok for me to have fun and enjoy things right now in this moment. Repeat. As many times as needed.-------

 

[scrump]

I was in a very similar situation - and honestly, if my kids didn't know about that trip, I probably would have cancelled. We were financially ok to still go, but I would have been worried about not having a job, that's just how I'm wired. But you had a rough year already (extra ) and your situation is a little more complicated than mine was. I do think starting a job search (resume, updating skills, etc) will help you feel more in control and proactive, and will put you ahead if layoffs were to happen - and I hope they don't - and may help you feel a little empowered.

Good luck and sending lots of positive vibes to you!

 

[disykat]

I think a breather in a happy place would be a vacation for you in so many more ways than just a vacation. Hopefully you can enjoy the "moments" and that joy will help you cope with whatever comes your way.

Sometimes breathing in and out a mantra can be a helpful reminder. WDW is such a joyful place so Joy is the first thing that comes to my mind as an example. Something like "soaking in the joy" on the inhale and "enjoying the moment" on the exhale. Fit whatever your goal is (joy, peace, calm, etc.) into your mantra.

If you have a bad moment you may need to look around you and as a reminder find 3 little things (while actually physically counting them on your fingers) that spark joy like 1. I see children excited about Santa Clause 2. That Christmas Tree is huge! 3. My favorite Christmas song is playing. Something as little as someone wearing a silly hat can ignite a little spark of joy if you look for it. (or you can be looking for peace, calm, etc.)

Sometimes some of these tangible reminders that people use for anxiety can be really helpful. I learned them when I was teaching coping skills to students and they've been helpful to me many times to use as a reminder to enjoy happy moments.

 

[SpaceMan5]

Disney is an escape, allow yourself to do just that! Get caught up in the magic surrounding you.

No doubt, easier said than done. I am a worrier and a dweller so I understand. But here is the man himself telling you. I refer to it often as it is absolutely true!

View attachment 813916

Quote of the day, well said fly girl!

 

[Karin1984]

It could go both ways. You could feel better. You could feel worse because this is supposedly the place to feel happy.

I am not a fan of your family guilt-tripping you "if you don't go, we don't go".

If you decide to go, have some firm rules and discuss this on forehand, like:
- it is okay to split up
- it is okay if you decide to stay in bed/at the hotel.
- it is okay to feel unhappy at the happy place.
- listen to your body/brain and determine when you can give in and when to push through.

Little trick: have a worry-moment. Pick a moment of the day every day for as long as necessary (you can also start now) where you fully give in to all your worries, write them done, cry, scream, let out all you are thinking about. This should help decrease your worry the rest of the day.

 

[MamaMermaid]

I'm in therapy and on medication! I'm just an overall anxious person. Lol. But it helps.

I hear ya! Me too! At least the meds take some of the edge off.