Homeschooling Parents-HELP!?!?!?!

[kinlaw6450]

I work a full time job. 8-5 M-F. My son is entering the first grade this year. We found out through his summer school teacher that he is not where he should be academically. He is unable to focus and will not do his work unless she stands over him. Yet they are hesitant as yet to say he is ADHD. She feels that his K teacher let him do his own things while the other kids worked. This instead of working with him one-on-one or notifying me.

He is quite bright. I have managed to teach him to read with phonics in 8 days where the school system failed to do it in a year. Oh, and his gross motor functions are lacking so holding a pencil, small crayon etc is difficult.

I would like to homeschool him. I have researched several programs and curriculums. His studies with me would be in the evening and on weekends, supplimented with reading with his care giver during the day. Unfortunately the private schools in this area do not have any smaller class sizes than the public schools do so that is not really a worthwhile solution.


So am I getting in over my head or is this a possible scenario?

 

[Blondie]

I think it's going to be hard on both of you to home school when you are working a full time job.

And homeschooling may be skirting the issue at hand.

We have the Child Development Center here in town, don't know if there's one in your area, but they'll test him for you ($300) if you really want to know what's going on. It's run by the State of Virginia and it really helped us with some things that were going on with our ADHD son that we were clueless about.

They're not out to label him ADD/ADHD. They'll give you advice on what may be better for him in terms of academics and in areas where he may be falling short on in regards to his age.

 

[kinlaw6450]

Thanks Blondie...he has been tested. He was tested through his peds office. All of the teachers his grandmother and myself had to fill out a form and submit back to the doc. She tallied the results and said she was reluctant to say ADHD at the time because he could just be a normal 5 y/o. But its more than that. The boy CAN focus if he is made to. The school just says they don't have the time or the staffing for that much one-on-one with any child. And unfortunately it is the same with all of the schools in the area.

The only one I have not inquired about yet is the Montesorri school.

 

[danacara]

This may seem dramatic, but in reality, it's no more dramatic than homeschooling in nights and weekends: Have you thought about moving to an area with a more suitable school district?

 

[Blondie]

The school just says they don't have the time or the staffing for that much one-on-one with any child.

That is pretty much the same song and dance we got too. That is why we now have an IEP for our ADHD soon to be 7th grader. It was like pulling teeth to get it, but we stood our ground, had to get very involved with the teachers, counselors, etc. attended several meetings and showed them that we meant business. We didn't want him to fall through the cracks of the public school system, which is very easily done if you don't stay involved.

By law with the IEP they are required to give him the attention he needs and if necessary a few extra days to complete assignments on time.

It doesn't let him do whatever he wants, he is still required to take responsibility for his classwork being done on time, etc. But if he is showing difficulty on a test, or a project, they will allow him extra time without taking points away thus lowering the grade.

It also allows him to remain in a normal classroom setting with two teachers instead of one. One is there to instruct, the other is there to help where/when/if needed and to make sure the kids are staying on task.

 

[kinlaw6450]

What is an IEP? I have never heard of that.

Dramatic yes, Danacara actually we are considering a move to the county and the better school system.

 

[Cindy B]

IEP _- Individualized Education Plan...

 

[Straycat]

If you want to homeschool your son, do it. In the 1st and 2nd grade, they dont require that much time for studying when you are one on one with them, its a quality over quantity thing.
A year of homeschool with you, and your kid will be just fine for going into the public school system.
If you plan to homeschool longer than a year or two though, you will run into trouble, because more time is needed. I was spending about 4 to 5 hours a day schooling my son when he was in 5th and 6th.
About his motor skills, thats very common for little boys, dont worry about it too much. just keep him playing with things that require fine motor skills like small legos and puzzles. Goodluck whatever you decide.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by Straycat
In the 1st and 2nd grade, they dont require that much time for studying when you are one on one with them, its a quality over quantity thing.

Not in the private school DS attends! First grade was GRUELING on the moms! We easily spent 2+ hours on homework each "night." By March, we were all looking for school to end! In comparison, 2nd and 3rd grades were a breeze!

 

[kejoda]

I would definetly go through the school system to have him check out. Did his peds doc. see him at all or did she/he just go by what you said? Taking him somewhere and have him evaualted by a professional. Our son John has been evaulated several times with different clinics. No one so far has been able to pinpoint what the problem is. He has developmental delays that range from speech to small and large motor. Going to a professional will help because they saw things that we just thought were normal and helped us with ways we could help him.

good luck if you want too please pm me.

 

[ripleysmom]

"The school just says they don't have the time or the staffing for that much one-on-one with any child. And unfortunately it is the same with all of the schools in the area."

If your child was classified as ADHD the system would have to provide him with whatever services he required. It's not a question of they don't have time. It is required by federal law.

It might be that if he were classified he could be placed into a smaller self-contained classroom or perhaps an inclusionary system (a mainstream classroom with a special ed teacher and aide to assist) .

Which is where the IEP comes in. Once a child has been identified as having special needs then an IEP is created. An IEP is a plan which should contain everything that a child needs to successfully meet the goals laid out in it.

Just as an aside though, my son learned how to read in about a week after spending kindergarden in a very good private school. Sometimes kids just are not ready to read until they are ready. Now he's 10 and reads at a college level. It depends on the child.

Also if he is having problems with manipulatives he may need some type of OT services which could also be provided by the district.

An ADHD child can be made to focus in a one-on-one situation. The fact that he can focus when made to doesn't mean that he does not have a disability, it just means that he can concentrate without other distractions.

It does not sound as though you have had him professionally evaluated at this point. You do have the right to request that your school district perform an evaluation to see whether or not he does indeed have ADHD. This does not mean that you have to accept the services or the label but it may help you to know exactly what his problem is.

If you are hesitant to request it from the school district and you have medical insurance, ask your pediatrician for a referral to a pediatric neurologist. Do not allow your pediatrician to make the diagnosis and if your pediatrician won't give you a referral I would suggest finding another one.

 

[Disneymomma]

When you request he be tested, put it in writing and always document who said what on which dates/ meetings. Get him tested through the district- I am not sure about all districts, but if you request the school to do it they HAVE to. I would have him evaluated as soon as possible. I have too many in middle school that should have been tested years ago....

 

[ripleysmom]

"I am not sure about all districts, but if you request the school to do it they HAVE to."

Yep that is a Federal Law.

 

[Blondie]

If you want the school district to test him, request it the very first day of school.

Our district was so back logged that it took several months before they could get to him. By the time we had our meeting with their findings, it was April!

I still recommend a second opinion, like the Child Development Center or similar. I felt their evaluation was more detailed, and they offered lots of advice, where the school district said "this is what we found" and that was about it. Also, at the time in VA, they couldn't come right out and say "our findings suggest ADHD."

All the school could do was rule out a learning disability. Don't know if things have changed that much since 1998, but please take it into consideration.

If he isn't LD, it'll still be like pulling teeth to get him an IEP if he needs one.

Our DS qualified under OHI; "other health impairment" meaning his ADHD is severe enough that it hinders his ability to learn and take in everything that is being taught in the regular classroom setting.

Nip this in the bud RIGHT NOW! Once he gets in middle school (I know you have a way to go for that!) they very easily get lost in the crowd and the teachers basically don't give a hoot.

 

[Disneymomma]

To say the teachers" don't give a hoot" is such a hurtful and loaded statement!
The teachers did not create the climate where they are not allowed to tell the parent something is wrong with their child and this needs to be addressed immeadiately! I know within 2 days of meeting my students and looking at their work samples which ones should be tested. I waited all last year for two to be tested, knowing that it probably wouldn't happen. (And they still were not tested by June.) All their paperwork was complete, I even went to the parents home to get the paperwork signed because the father kept not showing up to all our meetings. But I knew if I did not do it he would keep being passed on to the next grade/class, and eventually his frustration level would be so high he would drop out. Yes, I know there are uncaring teachers out there, however, the majority really want to see each child suceed to the best of his/her abilities. The teachers hands are usually tied by the "laws" and whatever district it is that does not want to pay for the testing. (That is why they do not want the parent to request it in writing-because they have to respond.) Please do not say the teachers do not care- there is so much more behind this issue.

 

[Blondie]

To say the teachers" don't give a hoot" is such a hurtful and loaded statement!

Here we go!

I knew I would offend somebody out there.....I apologize.

BUT---if you had a student that was about to bring home straight "F"s on his/her report card, would you call the parents, or send a letter?

We got nothing. No word of warning, no "I think we need to meet" etc.

I think it's safe to say that his two teachers didn't care by not getting in touch with us ahead of time to at least say "I think there may be a problem here, we really need to get together and discuss your son's grades."

We kept all lines of communication open w/his two teachers. Sending letters, notes, whatever. Then to have him bring home a report card with straight "F's" was very disheartening.

Yes, our child takes some responsiblity here, but I know if I were a teacher in that same situation, I'd have to get involved with the student's parents. To sit there and watch him fail was wrong, without consulting us was wrong. Knowing that he is ADHD and not even try to help him was wrong.

And that's what my "hurtful statement" is based on.

And that is why, during his "eligibilty meeting" I brough the CDC's Psychologist with us. It showed that we meant business, and that we weren't going to settle for "he doesn't meet the criteria for an IEP sorry" line.

He got the IEP under the OHI. If we had not had our Psychologist there with us to ask about qualifing under the OHI, I truly believe they would've said "sorry, but it's your problem, not ours."

Well now it IS their problem. And by law they better stick to it. Cause I'll be watching every step of the way!

Disneymomma again, I apologize. I know there are some very dedicated and caring teachers out there. But so far, in our middle school, I have yet to meet them.

 

[Disneymomma]

I do indeed balme the two teachers if there was no contact at all, until the report card! Absolutely. I send home written weekly reports on EVERY child, homework, classwork, progress/lack of progress, etc. I ask the parents to sign and return it each Monday, which I then keep in each students file.I then call the parent and speak with them about it if it does not return. Some parents get so sick of me calling they finally begin to ask the student for the report. (Which was the point.) It is a lot of work,
( I usually have 30-33 students in my homeroom.) and I expect that if I take the time to inform people of what their child is doing every week, they could at least sign it and send it back. I am sorry for the situation that they put you in as well. You have to do exactly what you did-bring whatever specific person (A lawyer is good too.) and DEMAND that they provide the services they are supposed to. What I have seen so far is that the squeaky wheel gets the grease so to speak, while the rest of the children fall further behind... In the population I deal with, very few students have parents that are involved, or even attempt to get involved. I had a feeling when I read that that you had a bad experience and I hope that it gets better for you-please, I know it is hard, but you are your childs best advocate-they will not do it for him unless you MAKE them-It sound like you won't let them get away with it! Good Luck.

 

[pollyanna]

Originally posted by kinlaw6450
I Oh, and his gross motor functions are lacking so holding a pencil, small crayon etc is difficult.

My son was also VERY bad handling a pencil. So bad that his Kindergarten teacher gave him assignments using a giant thumbtack and punching board.
( He graduated from HS this May and is an outstanding artist...but his handwriting still isn't great. )

 

[janette]

Get a complete evaluation that includes learning and social differences, there are several things beyond ADD/ADHD that can cause problems.

PBS had a great special on learning differences, here's a link to the stories. If you can find it on a local channel I'd recommend it. Here's a link to the web site. Misunderstood Minds

My 8yo DD has a reading disability and in preschool the behaviors were closer to ADD/ADHD than anything else. We enrolled her in a small private school and they helped her with the social issues and helped to determine where her real problems were. She is now in public school, she is in Special Ed for reading and has a few other modifications.

She was in 1st grade last year and has continued to make progress. Her teachers have been great. I'm hoping to get as good a teacher this year. She'll have the same Special Ed teacher

We did find that schools tend to wait until 2nd grade to test for learning differences. I'm very glad my DD's problems were found early, they will test if you insist on it but you might find some hesitation on thier part. Keep pushing, as others have stated they are obligated to do what your child needs.

Public schools also have more resources to provide help, use them.

 

[Krisu]

Do they not test in the school? My DS was tested in 3rd grade never pinpointed exact problem but had extra help in Math and Language til 5th grade. I would find out about your school district and what they offer.