Homeschoolers: Ways to "socialize" your kids

[bethyg]

DH and I are seriously discussing homeschool for DS4 and DS13. We are looking into A Beka's DVD program 1, especially for DS13 since they keep records, are accredited and he would receive a HS diploma rather than have to take the GED. Anyone with experiences with this DVD program, I would welcome comments.

Otherwise, obviously with homeschooling, the kids don't have the socialization they would normally have in a public/private school setting. With small kids, obviously a local playground, t-ball and little league/soccer and Sunday School/church would be a way to develop friendships, etc......

Our concern is for the high school age groups. There aren't alot of sports in our area for kids >13 that we are aware of, especially for a kid that really hasn't been interested in sports when he was younger, not alot of kids his age in our neighborhood, and only 5 or 6 kids his age in church. What other ways do you get them involved with kids their own age so they are not isolated?

Thanks.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

No teens here...so take this with a grain of salt if you like...

We live in Florida--and highschool homeschoolers are protected by law that if they wish to participate in an extra-curricular activity (like football, band, swim team, orchestra...whatever their zoned high school may offer), they are permitted to participate (or try out if that is required). They are also protected by law that if a particular class is required to participate in said activity (i.e. band class each day), they legally can be enrolled in just that class so that they can participate. This of course is as long as they are registered with the county as homeschoolers and not part of an umbrella or private school that caters to homeschoolers and actually "enrolls them".

So my first suggestion is to check the laws in your state to see if your students would be eligible for something like that.

Other things we have locally that cater to older students:

A homeschool league--they have various sports and necessary coaching and participate just as if they were a school. It may not offer the same "perks" as a large school would. However, it is an option for those who wish to sever all ties with the school system or who just wish their kids to participate with kids educated similarly.

Our homeschool group offers many things for teens: They offer "Academy" which offers strictly academic coursework. We have prom and we have other events. We have many teens and many have become the best of friends (from what I have witnessed. We don't attend academy but for all family events, the teens are constantly hanging out with one another and you can tell they are "socialized"--in a positive way).

Our state organization offers annually a graduation and celebration. They say that teens connect and stay connected each year at convention and in between conventions.

You may wish to check your state and local offerings for something similar.

Then there is the regular pay per activity stuff that any kid would do regardless of how they are educated...like soccer and dance and stuff like that.


Good luck. I don't have teens yet. But I love my homeschool group for what it does for teens so they aren't missing out on anything positive from school. Most of the teens seem to enjoy it as well.

 

[liamandcaili]

It depends on what your DS is interested in doing. If he isn't interested in sports, what about community theater? Even if he didn't want to be on stage, they are always looking for people to help behind the scenes. I did drum and bugle corps when I was that age, and it was a great way to socialize and also learn discipline and how to work as a team. They taught everyone how to play, so there was no instrument knowledge required to join.

It is difficult to give you advice, as I don't know what your DS likes to do, or what activities are offered in your area. I can tell you that my DD, just turned five, is not in school this year, and my alternative to formal preschool for her is a synchronized skating team. She loves skating, and this gives her the opportunity to be with other girls her age who enjoy the same activity. Pick something your DS likes/loves, and find a group that enjoys the same.

 

[hsmamato2]

You're right, if your kids aren't in a school setting, they'll have a whole different outlook on socializing,they'll actually get to now!!!
Seriously, sitting in a class, and going over teacher approved material as a group does not constitute true socializing, it constitutes forced interaction at best...and that's if the kids are even allowed to interact and speak...(hey, no talking! that's cheating! )
If that was the only way i had to make and keep friends, i'd go crazy!
Actually, anywhere you live, you can find plenty of things your kids should enjoy, remember, just because they're milling about a playground with 200 kids doesn't mean they're actually playing or enjoying the experience....
How about, town park and rec programs and sports teams? Find a local homeschool group(or 2 or 3) and find out what classes and co-ops your kids can join... field trips, family friends, local playhouses and cultural activities- after school playdates with their schooled friends, religious groups, scouts, etc... 4-H,classes given through town adult and kids ed. programs- playground after school hours to find new friends of various ages- the list goes on and on-

 

[minkydog]

OMG, it's the S-word

ahem, sorry, I know you are asking a serious question....Have you been to school as seen or heard the kinds of socialization your 13yo is getting now It's shocking what goes on in the middle & high schools.

I homeschooled my kids for 12yrs and socialization wasn't a problem. We belonged to a couple co-op groups where the kids would gather for extra-curricular classes, like cooking, or geography, or sewing or Greek myths.They also played soccer & baseball on homeschool teams, joined drama & choral groups, and were active in church. Containing the socialization becomes a full-time job, let me tell you.

Abeka has a good program, but it's not the only one out there. For K-8, I would highly recommend Calvert School. I don't know about the DVD program .I would be concerned about using it 8hrs a day--most kids would get pretty bored with it, I would think. We used American School, which is fully accredited. It is traditional--text books, tests, essays. There's no fluff, just straight learning, so if your 13yo needs more hands-on you'd have to develop that(I made up workbooks for each subject to help DS remember what he was reading). DS20 graduated last year and had no trouble getting accepted at 2 colleges, even though he never took the SAT.

All three of my kids are well-rounded, pleasant persons. They all play at least one musical instrument. DD13 sings in a professional children's choir and tours in the summer. She also dances,performs in children's theater, plays in the band, and is a Cadette Girl Scout. She has been in school for the past 2yrs. DS20 performs in local theater (for pay!)and works for Blockbuster. He writes music for guitar and writes/produces short films. He had a total of 4-1/2 years in school over the course of 12yrs. The rest was homeschool. Neither has had trouble with drugs or the law.

I think the reason we were successful with homeschooling is the fact that my kids were "socialized" properly. They had to get along because they were the only playmates they had some days. They spent their days with me or their dad or other caring adults.We modeled appropriate behavior & attitudes, read lots of good books, wrote every day, and made time for the arts. Looking back, I think we got it right. Not everyone will agree. They don't have to. The proof is in the pudding.

 

[bethyg]

We started considering homeschool a few weeks ago. DS13 had to have a kidney transplant, and is forced to be out of school for 10 weeks. Our county public school has a "homebound program" that sends a teacher to your home for 1 hr twice a week, picking up your assignments from school. She reviews the highlights of his work and is out the door, the rest is up to him to read the books and figure it out, or have mom and dad help out when he's stuck. He just started 9th grade and she is only able to cover 4 subjects max, usually only 3. The homebound teacher is already talking about summer school or paying for online credits so he can graduate on time. He's only been in high school 3 weeks and already he's challenged with having enough credits to graduate in 4 years! ARGGHH.

My husband and I were stunned that our state feels 2 hours of a homebound teacher is equavalent to a week of school instruction. It is sobering to think how much learning time must be wasted in public schools if a teacher can come for 2 hours and the state deems this as adequate.

Since we have never homeschooled before, and since it is High School and curriculm and credits mean so much, we feel more comfortable with something like ABeka's DVD teacher instruction and accrediation. We are very nervous about ACT/SAT scores and college applications. We would never want to jeopardize his education or chance of being accepted to college because we didn't teach him properly, or we missed something.

I know many of you are comfortable with homeschooling. It's such a huge decision and committment. Our county penalizes homeschool kids who re-enroll in public school, usually putting them 1-2 grades behind where they should be, regardless of test scores. I have heard nightmare stories from some mothers in my area. We will be making a decision in the next few weeks. Any other advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Do they have a "virtual school" that the state runs? Here it is an on-line high school with all the coursework of regular school but done on "your" time. (i.e. you don't have to attend school from 9-2...but beyond that, I have no idea).

Penalizing for re-entry seems harsh. Have you double checked your state law?

OUCH--I just checked, compulsory days and time during the day spent on education (SIX HOURS!!!!!) And no standardized testing requirements listed and by law that is the only way to be evaluated (if I read the analysis correctly). Seems they do have you between a rock and a hard place and I wonder why they don't allow sick kids the benefit of the law for at least 50% effort. I agree 1 or 2 hours a week will not cut it.

CAn you afford perhaps enrolling in an on-line private school? Then you may not necessarily be considered a homeschool and not lose any academic time when you switch back.

 

[Temair]

You may want to check out k12.com They are the largest supplier of curriculum to the virtual schools. They can also tell you if your state has a virtual school through them that they run. It's a very intensiver curriculum that meets or exceeds all state requirements in the USA. My DD 6 is in grade 1 and loves doing the program. As for socialization your child will have plenty of it. IF anything most homeschoolers discover there is so much out there in groups and classes that its hard to fit in the required education.

Temair

 

[shelly3girls]

Sorry, I don't have homeschool advice but I do want to mention something about the ABeka curriculum. My DD7 went to a Christian school that used this curriculum and now transfered to public school (a very strong top notch public school). I learned that the ABeka math did not meet our state standards. It lacked in many areas. I also found that it was very lacking in reading comprehension and writing skills. This of course was for the younger grades so I do not know how it stands up for the older grades. My DD was a straight A+ student and yet is struggling with her writing ability. Her math computation is very advanced but is lacking in many other math areas. I also was not happy with the spelling program. There is very little enrichment with the spelling and vocabulary words although the words themselves are very advanced. I just thought I should mention this b/c I know there are many homeschool curriculums. My sister uses a combination of different ones but I know that she was much happier with Bob Jones than ABeka.

 

[grlpwrd]

You're right, if your kids aren't in a school setting, they'll have a whole different outlook on socializing,they'll actually get to now!!!
Seriously, sitting in a class, and going over teacher approved material as a group does not constitute true socializing, it constitutes forced interaction at best...and that's if the kids are even allowed to interact and speak...(hey, no talking! that's cheating! )
If that was the only way i had to make and keep friends, i'd go crazy!
Actually, anywhere you live, you can find plenty of things your kids should enjoy, remember, just because they're milling about a playground with 200 kids doesn't mean they're actually playing or enjoying the experience....

Well, there is more to socialization than this ... there is socialization among different age groups, between different backgrounds, socialization that involves diversity in general (race, creed, economic status, et al), etc. I am an ex-homeschooler and I think it was somewhat insulating, but, of course, YMMV.

I think hs'ed older kids can get into extracurricular activities such as scouts, 4H, church, hs groups, volunteering, etc.

 

[DiznEeyore]

Sorry, I don't have homeschool advice but I do want to mention something about the ABeka curriculum. My DD7 went to a Christian school that used this curriculum and now transfered to public school (a very strong top notch public school). I learned that the ABeka math did not meet our state standards. It lacked in many areas. I also found that it was very lacking in reading comprehension and writing skills. This of course was for the younger grades so I do not know how it stands up for the older grades. My DD was a straight A+ student and yet is struggling with her writing ability. Her math computation is very advanced but is lacking in many other math areas. I also was not happy with the spelling program. There is very little enrichment with the spelling and vocabulary words although the words themselves are very advanced. I just thought I should mention this b/c I know there are many homeschool curriculums. My sister uses a combination of different ones but I know that she was much happier with Bob Jones than ABeka.

That's interesting. Not trying to stir anything up, but perhaps it was the way the A Beka was being taught, versus the actual program? I only say that because I used A Beka with my ds for several years before enrolling him in private school, and when he tested in, it was at several grades beyond his current one.

He spent a couple of years in "regular" school and then asked to be homeschooled again ... we tried Switched-on Schoolhouse (thought ds would love working on the computer, but he didn't) and we found that program to be seriously lacking. We're back to A Beka this year (just the books) but for high school we're planning on doing A Beka Academy for many of the reasons the OP mentioned.

As I said, not trying to stir the pot; just wanted to share a different perspective on A Beka.

ETA: To answer the OP's question, our ds participates in quite a few activities, none of which are through an organized homeschooling group (none around here). He also talks to kids he went to school with and spends time with them regularly, as well as doing things like playing basketball and football with kids in the neighborhood.

 

[Hope73]

We have a huge community of hs here. Children's museums and any sort of lessons during the day are good, gymnastics etc. I know there is a coop here where mothers group theri kids and take a subject each. Just going to story hour at the library. Put an ad on a local grocrey store community board and meet at a park.

 

[graygables]

I've done both traditional homeschooling and e-schooling. We are with a vitual charter school now (use the K12 program) and it is outstanding. There are activities all the time that parents are pulling together, so plenty to choose from. Our local rec center offers all kinds of lessons for homeschoolers as well. DDs take art classes and dance classes from regular studios and ice skating at the rec. Our school also uses an online conferencing system, so kids can have a virtual class with their teachers. We like this approach the best b/c we receive everything we need free of charge, including special needs support.

We used abeka before and I was under-impressed. My older 2 didn't care for it that much and it just seemed to be better geared for a traditional classroom setting and not for an individual student. We only used it for one year. Calvert is a LOT of bookwork and a lot of writing, very intensive parent involvement. I liked K12 enough that I actually purchased the curriculum for my then-kindy who didn't make the cutoff date for the virtual school. She was then "forced" into the system and we really like the curriculum. There is a nice spectrum of online and offline lessons, many of which do not require me to be right there all the time. Teaching 2 different grades can be more than a full time job if you don't have the right curriculum match for your kids.

another thing...unless you have a teaching background (I do), I highly recommend purchasing the lesson plans for whatever you get (K12 comes with). I wanted to save a little $$ and thought, "I'm a trained professional, I can do lesson plans..." Yeah, OK, took me ALL summer when I could have just bought the darned things!

 

[sukhakuli]

As far as socialization goes, you've gotten some great suggestions about public school programs, and co ops. We use a co op here, and I have enrolled my dd in private classes. Almost every town has gymnastics, karate, dance, drama, etc that would be a great thing to look into.

And I completely agree that not all socialization is a good thing. There is definitely a lot of school forced socialization that I am thrilled that my kids will miss out on.

 

[bethyg]

Thanks for all the great suggestions and ideas. I'm heading to check out k12's website right now.

 

[BirdsOfPreyDave]

Our YMCA offers a "gym class" geared toward homeschool kids. They also have organized sports such as wrestling, basketball, and swim teams.

 

[Gymbomom]

JMO, but I do not like any computer or DVD program for homeschooling.

There is a HUGE difference (again IMO), in homeschooling your child and your child being "self taught"

My younger brothers and sister were on those programs and I think they were very bored with them.

 

[noodleknitter]

How odd about your experience with Abeka. They are geared to be one year ahead in all classes. (This is a problem for lots of kids in Christian schools who are not developmentally ready to be a year ahead.)

Socialization for high school included music groups, theatre, co-ops, church groups (is there a group around that is larger than yours that you would feel comfortable with?) YMCA classes, tennis lessons, fensing lessons, toastmasters group, and our homeschool group. We lose several of the high schoolers to the school system, but we make sure that those that are left have ample time to hang out together.

 

[Lisa_Belle]

Sorry, I don't have homeschool advice but I do want to mention something about the ABeka curriculum. My DD7 went to a Christian school that used this curriculum and now transfered to public school (a very strong top notch public school). I learned that the ABeka math did not meet our state standards. It lacked in many areas. I also found that it was very lacking in reading comprehension and writing skills. This of course was for the younger grades so I do not know how it stands up for the older grades.

I've also known several students who went to a Christian school taught under the ABeka curriculum who had to take remedial classes and/or get tutors to get into college, especially math. From what I've seen, there is too much emphasis on religion and not enough on the basics. This has also been over a period of several years in which teachers have come and gone, and all of these kids performed "well" in their high-school classes. I'm sure every situtation is different, but if I'm shelling out money for a private school (or homeschooling), I want to be absolutely positive that my child isn't performing below standards.

But to answer your question about socialization ... while there might not be opportunities in your particular town, you might find some in a larger city nearby. I'd find out what your son is interested in, and see if there is one or more programs that fit his interests.

 

[Gymbomom]

Our experience with A Beka has been great. We started it in K4 and she is now in the 4th grade. We did ONLY A beka for a few years and now have branched out to add some different things as well.
Her IOWA test scores after finishing 3rd grade were 5th grade and over in all areas(including Math), except Science.

We now use A Beka Math, A Beka Science, we do Wordly Wise for vocab, Spelling Power, Rod and Staff Language, Rod and Staff Creative Writing, Life Pac History, and our own Bible.