home study for adoption - what should we expect?

[camreesmom]

DH is adopting my daughter and the social worker is coming on Thursday to do the home study. The woman did call and tell me a few things but not much. She said that we had to have a fire extinguisher and smoke alarm (not a problem), shot records for everyone in the house (even the dog!) but other than that, I have no idea what to expect. Does anyone have any experience with this?

~julie

 

[JadenLayne]

Sure do! My DH and I are adopting from China and have been through several Home Study visits and meetings!

Our social worker asked us a bit about our marriage. Nothing really personal, how long have we known each other, how did we meet etc. She asked about our personalities, what we liked to do for fun. What kind of environment the baby would grow up in. She asked about what we planned for school, did we plan on staying in the town we are or moving. She also talked to my mother who lives with us and our teenage son. Again, nothing really invasive......she asked our son how he felt about being a big brother and how he felt about going from being the only child to having a little sister.

We of course had to turn in all kinds of paperwork, financial statements, physicals, mental evaluations, police and child abuse clearances etc. Again nothing out of the ordinary for adoption. Very clear cut stuff.

Oh, how old is your daughter? If she's young I would also suggest that you put plug guards in all of your electrical outlets that aren't used and possibly drawer holds and cabinet locks if she is young. Just normal child safety stuff.

If you have any specific questions feel free to PM me. We have been adopting for 2 years now (the wait for China is really long!). Good luck and congratulations!

 

[camreesmom]

DD is about to turn 11. DH and I have filled out all kinds of paperwork, he has been fingerprinted for the criminal background check, etc. We have 2 younger children together (DD7 and DD4) and will celebrate our 10 year anniversary this December. I was just wondering how invasive the questions get and how thoroughly they check your house (looking in cabinets, drawers, etc.). DD has not seen her biological father in 5 years and DH has been raising her since she was 9 months old. We're all a little anxious about the whole procedure.

 

[CEDmom]

I have experience from adopting internationally several years ago. Besides what you mentioned we needed to show that dangerous cleaning products, medication etc were out of reach and that there were no guns in the house. Basic general safety stuff. Other than that we had to show there was room for a child in the house.

It'll be fine. Try not to worry and congratulations

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

Wow, when my DH adopted my oldest DS, we didn't have anyone come out to our house. All we had to do was go to court and stand in front of a judge. It was very simple.

 

[camreesmom]

Wow, when my DH adopted my oldest DS, we didn't have anyone come out to our house. All we had to do was go to court and stand in front of a judge. It was very simple.

Don't I wish! We've been talking about how we've been raising her for the last 10 years and now they are going to come see if we're doing a good enough job! I have faith it will all work out....just nerve-wracking in the meantime. The attorney had originally told us that it would take at least 3 months just to get on the waiting list for the home study and that was only a month ago! I know I'm not going to sleep at all tomorrow night!

 

[CEDmom]

Don't I wish! We've been talking about how we've been raising her for the last 10 years and now they are going to come see if we're doing a good enough job! I have faith it will all work out....just nerve-wracking in the meantime. The attorney had originally told us that it would take at least 3 months just to get on the waiting list for the home study and that was only a month ago! I know I'm not going to sleep at all tomorrow night!

The nerve-wracking is understandable but it'll all work out. I remember 2 days before our social worker came to our house we discovered a little leak in the master bathroom that created a water stain on the kitchen ceiling. Very fixable but not in 2 days. I was a wreck thinking we wouldn't get approved . Our social worker barely glanced in the kitchen and didn't even notice the ceiling although she knew about it since I had to disclose it before she even got her coat off .

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

We finished our home study last month. Its not nearly as bad as you might think it would be (I know our home has NEVER been so clean). It was pretty easy. She wanted to make sure the fire extinguisher was accessible to the kitchen, medicine and cleaning supplies in a safe place, a room for the child etc. She talked with our kids. The best thing I was told (by our social worker) is they are looking to approve people and build families, not the other way around. You will have nothing to worry about.

 

[Green Tea]

Wow, when my DH adopted my oldest DS, we didn't have anyone come out to our house. All we had to do was go to court and stand in front of a judge. It was very simple.

I think in my state it is the same if a spouse is adopting the partner's child with the consent of the absent birth parent.

 

[camreesmom]

The best thing I was told (by our social worker) is they are looking to approve people and build families, not the other way around. You will have nothing to worry about.

This is good advice and I'll try to keep this in mind. I took the whole day off today to try to keep myself calm about this. Like you said, our house has never been so clean! 3:30 is going to be here before you know it!

~julie

 

[shortbun]

My brother adopted his wife's son(now his son and my nephew). For them, it was an easy interview as it was what everyone wanted. Breathe easy. It will be here and be gone before you know it.

 

[camreesmom]

Okay, we made it thru yesterday's interview. Not at all what I expected. I guess part of it was because DH has already been raising DD for 10 years. The social worker looked around the house but not very closely at all. She just really wanted to know where all of the kids slept. She gave me a whole list of more paperwork that I need to get. We have to have the Fire Dept. come out and do a fire inspection, the health dept. has to come do a health inspection, DH and I both have to get a letter from our doctors saying we're in good health, she needs a floorplan drawn of the house, she wants our financial info and we need three written references. None of those should be a problem but just a lot of leg work still to be done! I'm off work today because I stressed out so much yesterday that I ended up giving myself a killer migraine!

 

[bumcat]

We are foster parents and also in Texas. We put the fire extinguisher in the kitchen but when the inspector came out he made us put it in a more general area like the family room and boy does it look ugly there.
He said the kitchen is not good since most fires start there, chances are you won't be able to get to it.
I don't know if this will happen to you so don't worry unless he tells you to move it.
I was a nervous wreck over our homestudy and it really wasn't too bad.

 

[camreesmom]

We are foster parents and also in Texas. We put the fire extinguisher in the kitchen but when the inspector came out he made us put it in a more general area like the family room and boy does it look ugly there.
He said the kitchen is not good since most fires start there, chances are you won't be able to get to it.
I don't know if this will happen to you so don't worry unless he tells you to move it.
I was a nervous wreck over our homestudy and it really wasn't too bad.

We've gotten the runaround in town about some of the things we needed like the criminal background check on DH and the social worker told us yesterday that instead of saying that he is adopting DD, we should just tell them that we need everything that we would need to be approved as foster parents and they would know what we needed.

Right now DH put the fire extinguisher in the garage right outside the door to the kitchen so I hope that is okay. I know we have plenty of smoke alarms and we also have a CM detector so not stressing too much about that. Yesterday was the big thing so I'm feeling a little better now.