How many of you have kids that cannot bring Peanut items (such as peanut butter) to your schools? This started last year for us, no peanut items allowed at school what so ever!!! The parent will get a note sent home for the first warning, then after that, their lunch will be thrown and they will send you a bill or take money out of their lunch account so the kid can buy a school lunch that day...very firm on that rule here.
I am not againsed it anymore, since I was at Bible School last summer and was one of the teachers/leaders and saw how horrible a reaction one kid had- he was 1 room AWAY and smelled it and we had to call 911! Horrible and now I understand WHY they have that rule...some parents tried to buck the system last year and still send it, but the school really cracked down on it...lots of mad parents who got a bill more than once! Rules are Rules!!!
My kids LOVE tortilla roll ups and these 'ham and cheese' melt rollups I make with puff pastry or bread dough, roll meat and cheese up, cut them in 'wheels', bake them, they are great eaten cool or warm.
I have taken food safety classes and am well informed of safety rules. The 'rule of thumb' is that food can normally be left out for 3-4 hours before going bad. MOST food goes into school with cold packs or in a thermous, which extends that time to 5-8 hours (depending on the quality of cold pack or thermous). A lot of those shows do help out a lot when it comes to educating us on how to store foods properly, but some of them go overboard. MOST parents send food to school because of the health factor...most lunches from home are still FAR better than what can be purchased at school. School food it EXTREMELY Processed.
we do A LOT of wraps, salads, sandwiches, soups/chili, casseroles/stews (leftovers), and my kids LOVE when I pack them a bagel with yogurt (I freeze the yogurt and pack it frozen...it's ready when they have lunch and still very cold),
At my kids school, we are welcome to join them for lunch and I do once and a while. Those days I pack a home-made meal and bring enough for both of us to eat. They think that's a big treat for them.
My kids have been in peanut free schools. Yes its a pain sometimes, especially if your child lives off pb, but if your child is the one who could die because someone else had peanut butter in another room, well, to me it`s worth the effort.
As far as food safety, I learned the same thing you did (20 years in the restaurant industry) but the one thing to take into account when using the 3-4 hour rule is that is total time at room temperature. that means that if the product sat out at the factory for a while, then at the store, then in your car on the way home, that has to be factored in as well.
That said, even though I think we should be cautious, lets face it, people have been taking boxed lunches for years. Most of us have pretty good systems that can handle a bit of bacteria. I put an ice pack in my kids lunch but if I forget, I`m not too upset about it.
As far as lunches goes, my daughter doesn`t like sandwiches. She likes stuff in her thermos, sometimes leftovers from supper or the really bad
chefboyardee 
She also likes to take cereal in a dish and I let her buy milk at school. sometimes she will have veggies and dip and some crackers with a cheese string. My oldest often takes wraps, usually chicken or ground beef with taco seasoning. I put cheese on them and he heats them at school.
Younger ds, well he has food issues. I think he had bologna sandwiches for almost a whole year two years ago. Last year he branched out to other sandwich meat. He likes them with cheddar on a hamburger bun and heats them up when he is allowed. The only fruit he will take is the little apple sauces, not the flavoured ones, just plain apple sauce unsweetened (the unsweetened part is my rule). I have also put wieners in their thermos and sent the buns separate. This is good for ds as he likes his plain so I don`t have to worry about condiments.
I might try to make some sort of pinwheel thing this year with meat and cheese in it in place of sandwiches. I figure this would be fairly easy if I buy pre-made dough, like Pillsbury. I know it`s not that great for them but better than not eating. Maybe make pizza ones too.
Keep the ideas coming.