Holiday cards without note, letter, or picture, how should we respond?

[interestingquestion]

Every Holiday my wife receives a number of cards in the mail from her sisters and parents. These are expensive Halmark Cards with "canned writeups" saying how much they love her. Though all she gets is the card. There are no pictures, notes, or letters attached. Just the card and a signature!

This is about the only communication my wife receives from her family. When she calls- they act like they are to busy watching their favorite TV show, and the call ends after a few minutes. At Christmas, when we make the long drive to Montana, both of us are basically ignored. But those cards keep coming EVERY Holiday.

How would you respond to a cold distant family that sends all those silly cards (without notes, pictures or letters)?? We asked them to put pictures or notes in the cards, but were ignored.

 

[luv2nascar]

throw them out
sounds like the cards help easy their minds

 

[holycow]

send them a card back. That is obviously their way to show that they are thinking of her...so I would use the same method...or else you might hear...geesssss, she doesn't even send a card!


Believe me I can relate...I call my mom...and if it is during her soap...sorry can't talk!...my other sister is too busy to even email me a HI....sometimes you just can't win....just be thankful you have each other!

Holycow

 

[KristaTX]

I am sorry to hear that your wife's family won't take the time to show her that they love her. Make good use of the cards. Put them in the recycling bin. I even do that with most of the non-canned Christmas cards/letters and pictures I get. I keep very few.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

If theyare and always have been people who don't express emotion well, I'd say "Don't take it personally. That's who they are and you're not gonna change 'em." If it doesn't cause your wife too much pain I'd say "Forget it and get on with a life that has no room for people who are so limited and emotionally stunted."

But if this is something that's happened over time or happened after an specific incident AND it causes ongoing pain and upset for your wife, I'd suggest a confrontation of some sort. If they REALLY mean the sentiment on the printed cards they may be willing to try to heal whatever rift or hurt they feel exists.

Good luck