Hobby ideas for tween girl

[cmsnyder77]

Just looking for ideas of things I can get my 12 year old daughter interested in that do not involve being online!!! She is on a travel softball team but seems to be losing interest and wants to quit after this coming season. She has some issues with self esteem and anxiety and says playing in the games stresses her out . She doesn’t want to do anything arts or crafts related or take any music lessons.
I am hoping she has a good ball season and changes her mind about that, but still looking for other options. Maybe something out of the box that I haven’t thought of?

 

[Christine]

If she likes physical activity still but is stressed by team sports, see if she's interested in cross country track at school or doing some of the martial arts (Tae Kwon Do is a good start). My son reallly liked doing something but he just was too stressed by competitive team sports, but he really enjoyed cross country and tae kwon do.

 

[DLgal]

Cooking or baking classes?

 

[BadPinkTink]

Dance or yoga or what about genealogy and researching the family tree, or jewelry making. Why does it have be not online? My hobby was being part of online communities, which lead to me teaching myself about blogging and creating websites and 20 years later I did a BA degree in Digital Marketing and I am now self employed with my own business. Online hobbies are where the children of today will learn the skills they will need as an adult.

 

[slo]

My DD18 is a softball player and I’ve been one of her coaches since she was 7yrs old.

I have a question…..
Has your DD given a reason on why she’s losing interest? I’ve seen this many times throughout the years and many times the interest fizzles out because of the team or program they play for. Sometimes a new team, Coach or program can revitalize a players interest, not just in softball, but in any sport. I understand that you say she feels stressed and I applaud her honesty with you, but a different group of girls or Coach may help her with this so she can feel more confident. These games can be incredibly stressful, and many girls go through times of uncertainty and nervousness - she’s not alone with that feeling. Many times working through this nervousness and knowing she’s not alone can build mental strength that will last a lifetime. I’ve wiped a lot of my DD’s tears and calmed her nerves more than I can ever describe throughout the years - if someone told me their DD never went through feelings of stress with their sport, whatever it is, I don’t believe it.

Good luck to your DD and I hope she finds an activity that makes her happy

 

[cmsnyder77]

Dance or yoga or what about genealogy and researching the family tree, or jewelry making. Why does it have be not online? My hobby was being part of online communities, which lead to me teaching myself about blogging and creating websites and 20 years later I did a BA degree in Digital Marketing and I am now self employed with my own business. Online hobbies are where the children of today will learn the skills they will need as an adult.

I guess I just mean I want her spending more time without a screen in her face. Some time doing something productive online would be okay.

 

[cmsnyder77]

My DD18 is a softball player and I’ve been one of her coaches since she was 7yrs old.

I have a question…..
Has your DD given a reason on why she’s losing interest? I’ve seen this many times throughout the years and many times the interest fizzles out because of the team or program they play for. Sometimes a new team, Coach or program can revitalize a players interest, not just in softball, but in any sport. I understand that you say she feels stressed and I applaud her honesty with you, but a different group of girls or Coach may help her with this so she can feel more confident. These games can be incredibly stressful, and many girls go through times of uncertainty and nervousness - she’s not alone with that feeling. Many times working through this nervousness and knowing she’s not alone can build mental strength that will last a lifetime. I’ve wiped a lot of my DD’s tears and calmed her nerves more than I can ever describe throughout the years - if someone told me their DD never went through feelings of stress with their sport, whatever it is, I don’t believe it.

Good luck to her and I hope she finds an activity that makes her happy

Thank you for your input and encouragement. She’s just going through a hard time in general and I’m not so sure softball has much to do with it at all. A lot of it is just her age/puberty etc. and changes in our family. We have had some bad experiences with a couple of teams and have joined a new team this season which I am very excited about. When she goes to practice she gets really happy and excited and talks about how much she loves it and hopes she can continue with them fo 14U. Then a few days later she says she doesn’t like softball at all and wants to quit. Mostly she says the tournaments are too stressful.
We have put so much into softball and I’d hate to see her give it up when I really think it is her “thing”.

 

[ralphie]

I have a twelve year old granddaughter - her interest as of now is making jewelry. Bracelets, rings, etc. She is quite good at it. She received two jewelry making kits for Christmas. They involve wire, beads, stones, and do-dads.

 

[Imzadi]

If she likes physical activity still but is stressed by team sports, see if she's interested in cross country track at school or doing some of the martial arts (Tae Kwon Do is a good start). My son reallly liked doing something but he just was too stressed by competitive team sports, but he really enjoyed cross country and tae kwon do.

I agree. It could be the team aspect that is stressing her out. Too many peers depending on her or saying bad things about each other when mistakes are made. Maybe try a singular sports. Even playing non-competitive tennis, (where she doesn't care about her ranking after winning or losing,) may be a better option.

When she goes to practice she gets really happy and excited and talks about how much she loves it and hopes she can continue with them fo 14U. Then a few days later she says she doesn’t like softball at all and wants to quit. Mostly she says the tournaments are too stressful.
We have put so much into softball and I’d hate to see her give it up when I really think it is her “thing”.

It could also be all the traveling. She may like playing, but being shuffled in and out of the bus to different events and told playing against this or that team and winning is crucial, may be what's stressing her.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

Our daughter never wanted to participate in any sports. She also said it stressed her out just playing games/sports in gym class because "all eyes on her when she's up" and "the pressure because they're counting on me." I threw a lot of things out there to do: dancing, cooking classes, art classes, horseback riding lessons. She took piano lessons years ago and can still play and takes a piano class at school as her elective, but otherwise that's it. Oh, and I looked into babysitting and life guard classes. As far as classes go, at least in my area, there's really none to be had. Babysitting sitting classes are all on line. Covid has really made it difficult. The one thing my daughter enjoys other than her phone/internet is Legos. The difficult 7000 piece Legos. She's always been extremely good at it.

 

[slo]

Thank you for your input and encouragement. She’s just going through a hard time in general and I’m not so sure softball has much to do with it at all. A lot of it is just her age/puberty etc. and changes in our family. We have had some bad experiences with a couple of teams and have joined a new team this season which I am very excited about. When she goes to practice she gets really happy and excited and talks about how much she loves it and hopes she can continue with them fo 14U. Then a few days later she says she doesn’t like softball at all and wants to quit. Mostly she says the tournaments are too stressful.
We have put so much into softball and I’d hate to see her give it up when I really think it is her “thing”.

Hugs to your DD - these tournaments really can be exhaustingly stressful.

I would be interested to know what’s stressing her during the tournaments - hitting, fielding, base running?

A lot of her stresses could possibly be helped with some outside help. My DD started with her hitting instructor at 12u and that helped her confidence at the plate a lot. He not only teaches her the fundamentals but also helps keep her head clear (my DD is her own worst critic). 7 years later he’s still her hitting coach and sometimes psychologist.

For fielding I practice with DD all the time - I hit buckets and buckets of balls to get to keep her feeling comfortable on the field. Our practices are very light hearted and I make sure we laugh a lot to keep her upbeat.

For base running my DD watches YouTube videos and watches a lot of college games. Different things need to happen with different scenarios - the trick is knowing what and when. Since my DD is not the fastest on the team she needs to know a lot of this - she can’t just run.

Anyway….I could go on and on. I would try and have her open up on what is stressing her out and let her know that this feeling is completely normal and ALL athletes go through it. Below is one of my favorite quotes. PM me if you ever have any questions. My DD is recruited to play in college this September, so I’ve been through a lot with her. She’ll have her stresses again, but I know she’ll do alright because of working through her stresses of the past.

 

[Imzadi]

I have a twelve year old granddaughter - her interest as of now is making jewelry. Bracelets, rings, etc. She is quite good at it. She received two jewelry making kits for Christmas. They involve wire, beads, stones, and do-dads.

Yes, there are sooo many more types of arts & crafts than painting or gluing popsicle sticks together, that one usually is exposed to in school. For many people, those crafts have a wet component to them that make them icky to many people or are hard to control.

There are plenty of dry crafts. For example, macrame. LOTS of YouTube videos for it and how to do many of the more intricate knotting techniques. Many videos will show how to do a whole pattern to complete a whole project. One can get different colored macrame cords on Amazon.

There is also weaving with regular knitting yarns. When most people think of weaving, they have the image in their heads of huge weaving looms with multiple moving parts, OR the simple potholder loom which one can't do much with beyond more potholders. These types of looms are what are limiting people. There are many simple frame looms that can be bought or made. One can even use a sheet of thick cardboard as a frame. (The web has lots of details.)

I've seen people make wonderful, long woven scarves just by making a long frame by piecing together sheets of cardboard. Add different chunky textures and colors of thick and thin yarns and one can have a one-of-a-kind scarf to show off and wear in a matter of hours. Talk about raising someone's self esteem: to wear a scarf or jewelry they made and love and can show off.

 

[stsomewhere]

my daughter loved doing nail art. I think she painted her nails a few times a week.

 

[Miffy]

How about reading? So many fantastic ebooks available through the library, assuming your local library has such resources. If you're anywhere in New York State, you can join the New York Public Library, which has a vast selection of ebooks and audiobooks.

Reading is a great gateway into other interests as well. And it's noncompetitive.

 

[mmbrad02]

I have an 11 year old in a very similar predicament. She loves softball but there is only one travel team in our area and when it developed, her talent level was not there to make the team. So we do rec league in the spring and fall, but she will age out of that this year. She starts middle school this fall, so I'm trying to find other ideas for her as well (because she also likes to bury her head in a screen, specifically Roblox now, but she used to like to make anime type Youtube videos and that at least took some creativity and skill, but that seems to have passed).

Anyway some things we have tried.... I basically made her try Girls on the Run through her school last semester. Excellent program, they do both team building and work towards running a 5K, and at the end they run a 5K with tons of other groups. It was only a semester long and they met 2 days a week for an hour after school. While she didn't necessarily love it, she didn't hate it and she did finish the program. However, she doesn't have much interest in participating again next semester, which is fine by me - I just wanted her to try it.

We also used this past summer to try some new things - it was the second summer we tried rec league tennis lessons, and I'm hoping tennis might be something she tries in middle school (I'm not sure how it is elsewhere, but here tennis is less competitive than softball). This coming summer I'm going to sign her up for tennis camp at our local college and see how that goes. She also did a week long day camp at a local theater - totally out of her comfort zone but she LOVED it and truly wants to do it again. And she was more comfortable with our church Kids Christmas production this year than previous years as a result.

Do you have a 4H program where you live? My DD has gone to 4H Camp as well as Cloverbud camp when she was younger, and I've found 4H offers a lot of free programs around here. My DD was able to do a Chopped Jr. one day thing this past semester.

All that said, my DD is still struggling to find her "thing" so even though we have dabbled in all these things, I am not sure we are any closer to finding something. As for day to day, during the school week we don't have to do a lot because she goes to an after school program till 5:15. She does get her screen when she gets home, but usually by the time we get dinner, homework, shower, etc, it does limit the screen time naturally on her own. But over Christmas break we struggle with the screens also. We have tried legos on and off her whole life and they have never clicked - which breaks my heart. She just got another set for Christmas that she and DH worked on together today, and she just gets frustrated when she doesn't get it perfect the first time.

 

[fhtpdw20]

How about making greeting cards. See if she would investigate what she could make with a cricut. Does she like to write? Maybe a calligraphy class.

 

[tcufrog]

A friend of mine has a daughter who is into bike riding, swimming, and Zumba. When DS14 was her age he liked to make stuff from paracord and got so good he sold things like headbands, keychains, dog collars, and leashes, etc. He also had fun with origami. If she has more of a science, building bent I highly recommend Snap Circuits.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

How about photography? Lots of options there.

I know you said not arts and crafts... I'm not very crafty but really enjoy diamond painting which is another option and there are really reasonable kits on amazon if she wants to try it out.

 

[sunshine1178]

Hugs to your DD - these tournaments really can be exhaustingly stressful.

I would be interested to know what’s stressing her during the tournaments - hitting, fielding, base running?

A lot of her stresses could possibly be helped with some outside help. My DD started with her hitting instructor at 12u and that helped her confidence at the plate a lot. He not only teaches her the fundamentals but also helps keep her head clear (my DD is her own worst critic). 7 years later he’s still her hitting coach and sometimes psychologist.

For fielding I practice with DD all the time - I hit buckets and buckets of balls to get to keep her feeling comfortable on the field. Our practices are very light hearted and I make sure we laugh a lot to keep her upbeat.

For base running my DD watches YouTube videos and watches a lot of college games. Different things need to happen with different scenarios - the trick is knowing what and when. Since my DD is not the fastest on the team she needs to know a lot of this - she can’t just run.

Anyway….I could go on and on. I would try and have her open up on what is stressing her out and let her know that this feeling is completely normal and ALL athletes go through it. Below is one of my favorite quotes. PM me if you ever have any questions. My DD is recruited to play in college this September, so I’ve been through a lot with her. She’ll have her stresses again, but I know she’ll do alright because of working through her stresses of the past.

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My kids would tell you that is the parents that stres them out. Every year the adults seem to be nastier. Softball are even louder/cruder/more negative than baseball, at least around here.

 

[slo]

My kids would tell you that is the parents that stres them out. Every year the adults seem to be nastier. Softball are even louder/cruder/more negative than baseball, at least around here.

Sadly, you are correct, there are many parents that can be quite nasty.