Helping others at Christmas

[staceyfe]

If you are in a position to use your resources to help others have a better Christmas, do you? For the past 2 years, I have coordinated family adoptions through my workplace and church and provided a nice Christmas to several families with the help from 30+ coworkers/church members. This year I decided not to take on the task. It is a lot of work (but really very rewarding) and my experience with the family last year was a little disappointing. They didn't seem very appreciative, stuff like cigarette butts piled in a plant container near the front porch (cigarettes are EXPENSIVE), etc. I know I shouldn't judge, but it was hard for me because this was most likely a family that abused the system. Now I feel empty because I haven't done a darn thing this year to help others, and I am in a position (financially) where I can really make a difference. It's hard to know who needs a hand up, and not a hand out.

How do you handle giving to others?

 

[Feralpeg]

I always give to Toys For Tots, but I'm not big on giving to people who register for help. I usually know someone or a family that I know could use a little help and I make sure they have a nice Christmas. I, too, was taken advantage of by a family that registered for help. I was given a list of the people in the family and things they would like. I spent a great deal of money buying things for each member of the family based on their interests only to be told that I didn't get the right color or model. One family said they desperately needed a sofa. I knew someone who was moving and didn't want to move their sofa. It was only two months old and looked brand new. It was a neutral beige color. I arranged to have the sofa transported to the family's home. They wouldn't let the men take it in their house. It wasn't the kind she wanted. That was enough for me. Now, I find those that I want to help by being observant.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I usually just donate to Toys for Tots and other local organizations and trust them to decide who to give to.

 

[Dznypal]

be a donate alot of time and money for Christmas families through her church

until 3 years ago when they delivered a car full of things and the family had
cell phones, a fancy computer system a large screen TV and other expensive things--my mom couldnt figure out how these people got on the churches list but they did!!!


So now she sends money to the 2 orphanages in Vietman where my 2 nephews and now this year my new niece who (shes 6 months old) is from Korea!!

My mom said she gets such a warm feeling she since knows they can really use the money and it does go to the ophange.

She even traveled with BIL to pick up the second nephew so she sent 3 weeks in Vietman!!! So she saw first hand how much help they really need!!

 

[jennifer293]

We have a few very rich folks in our town and every year the ex-wife of one of those rich men takes children (actually they are going tomorrow) to K-mart and each child gets to spend 100.00. I am talking 100's of children. They get the kids at the local high schools to come volunteer to guide these children on how to spend their 100.00. They are supposed to buy gifts for themselves only but a few of them insist upon getting things for their family insted of themselves...Anyway the way the kids are picked is through the school system and whether the teacher thinks they "need" it or not. Well one of the little girls that was picked lives next door to me. She comes to school dressed like orphan Annie (her hair is always dirty and knotted, her face is always a mess, snotty nose, half of her teeth are missing, and her clothes don't fit)...well she lives on A LOT I MEAN A LOT of acreage and the house is VERY NICE, and have 3 brand new vehicles, and they also have 4 rental houses . I KNOW THEY HAVE THE MONEY!!!!!!! They just choose not to use it on her. I am glad she is getting to do this program because she probably won't get anything for xmas otherwise, but I think her parents should say to themselves we have enough money to buy her things, let some other child go who needs it more.


I should not judge people but you guys are right there are those who are just out to take advantage of the system and if it keeps on the people that are helping will just give it up all together.

 

[Sandcass]

We always try to help out others at Christmas time. This year I've "adopted" a family that was left homeless by Hurricane Katrina. My DH is having a hard time with me spending money on them tho, because it's a mom w/ 4 teenagers. He says he'd rather it be small kids. Personally I think teens deserve a good Christmas too. It's hard tho, not knowing if I'm being taken advantage of or not.

We also try to teach our kids (11 & 8) to be generous at Christmas. This morning all 4 of us went to help organize toys that were donated to Toys-4-Tots. We had to put them into boxes by age & gender. It was great seeing how many people came out to help. It didn't cost us a thing except time, and even my 8 year old was able to contribute! Later this week we'll be taking the toys & food donation and delivering it to the families. I hope my kids really learn how lucky they are. (lucky? or SPOILED?)

I myself was raised by a single mother, and alot of our Christmas gifts were donated from places like the Salvation Army. Now, my kids are so lucky, they have everything they need and most of what they want. I don't ever want to forget that not everybody's kids are so blessed.

If you can't contribute financially, always consider your TIME! It's just as valuable. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. You will be so glad that you did!

 

[DisneyMomOK]

There have been times when I have been in stores like WalMarts, seeing moms that I know are having a hard time of it, when I have thought how wonderful it would be if I could help them. I wondered if you could have some envelopes with $ and maybe say, "Oops, did you just drop this?" I would hate to offend someone, but all of us sometime in our life could use a little PD, especially during the holidays. Anyone ever done something like this?

Sharon

 

[Sandcass]

I tried to give somebody a car seat for their toddler. I was leaving a grocery store and saw somebody getting into their car w/ a little one NOT properly restrained. That just kills me! They refused to take it tho.

 

[shades]

Later this week we'll be taking the toys & food donation and delivering it to the families. I hope my kids really learn how lucky they are. (lucky? or SPOILED?)

My DH & I delivered gifts & food to families for the Salvation Army and it is heart wrenching! I believe I've posted before about the 5yr old little boy who got soooo excited to get a big bag of his favorite cereal! It was a bag of Malt-o-Meal "froot loops." When he saw the wrapped gifts - one for each of the kids - it was like watching a child at Disneyland the first time! His little mouth formed a perfect "O" -

You are doing a very good thing!! Your kids will learn from these experiences! My daughter was only 3 years old when we moved Turkey - but, she is and has always been a people watcher. It's hard to miss the economic differences between what she had and what children in a 3rd world country had. When she was a little older - 5-6yrs, she would see kids her age selling sticks of gum on the street. She could see the little kids with a dirty rag offering to wash our car. I pointed all of these things out to her. Just as she "saw" the differences, so will your children.

There are so many places to volunteer your time. Not just during the holidays, but - year round. Schools, hospitals, children's wards, homeless, food banks, etc. Grade schools almost always need volunteers to help tutor kids.

 

[Doodlebug939]

This past week I was able to help a military service member who was in need of the basics like food and rent. Which is part of my job and I felt really good about. He was living in a hotel through no fault of his own. When we talked I learned that he has a family and they would not be even really doing Christmas because just getting a place to live was all they could do. So when he left the office I called another Santa's elves and she is part of a group that helps those in need. She was able to get the children $200 worth of toys, gloves and such. It felt great when I called to tell him today. He really didnt know what to say. He was in tears. And let me tell you a soldier in tears is a hard thing for me to take.

Also this year at the local walmart they had the usual giving tree but it was a little different. It was for people at a nursing home. Things like slippers and such. Nothing over $15. But my mom worked in a nursing home and I know the need is there too.

So to all of you who have felt a little disappointed, I understand. But I thought I would share a positive experience with all of you.

 

[shades]

This past week I was able to help a military service member who was in need of the basics like food and rent. Which is part of my job and I felt really good about. He was living in a hotel through no fault of his own. When we talked I learned that he has a family and they would not be even really doing Christmas because just getting a place to live was all they could do. So when he left the office I called another Santa's elves and she is part of a group that helps those in need. She was able to get the children $200 worth of toys, gloves and such. It felt great when I called to tell him today. He really didnt know what to say. He was in tears. And let me tell you a soldier in tears is a hard thing for me to take.

Also this year at the local walmart they had the usual giving tree but it was a little different. It was for people at a nursing home. Things like slippers and such. Nothing over $15. But my mom worked in a nursing home and I know the need is there too.

So to all of you who have felt a little disappointed, I understand. But I thought I would share a positive experience with all of you.

Thank you! That's all I have to say....as a retired military member....thank you for helping the soldier and his family!

 

[juliegirl]

As the previous poster said, there is as great a need in nursing homes as anywhere else. It is not too late in the season to make a difference. Maybe go to Walmart/Target and buy a lot of small hand lotions, maybe small figurines, you may even have a greenhouse nearby that offers mini pointsettias. You could spend as much or as little as you want, and with $100 or $200 you could provide 10-20 nursing home residents with some holiday cheer. The nurse there will know who has little or no family around, and who could use the most cheer. Even a simple holiday card with warm wishes for the season can mean a lot to someone when it might be the only one they get.

It might not be for children, or for the most 'needy' in your community, but you will still feel good doing it.

I try to give what I can,when I can, as I see fit. I contribute through work to the United Way with each paycheck, so if I am not able to help when a need comes up, I don't feel so bad about it.

 

[czycropper]

Our family always does things for the needy during Christmas. I was taught at a very young age to help out - quick story - my grandfather (God rest his soul) would always collect some of my unused dolls from the previous year since I would get many more than I could ever play with and give them to some of the poor kids in our town as I got older (8 & up) he would bring me with him if we were down there visiting (he lived in Puerto Rico) when he went to deliver them and I'll never forget one time we went into the home of one of the families and they had no running water and I sort of felt bad when I came home to our "vacation" home by the beach with air. Now, I'm teaching my DDs that they are many kids that go without Christmas.

This year we're adopting two families with other friends which I got through Social Services, one is an elderly couple & the other a single mom with 3 kids. As well as doing some from church & Toys for Tots. My DH is also on the committee at church which goes to visit the elderly every week and we're bringing some things there as well as taking my DD7 Brownie troop for caroling tomorrow.

Happy Holidays to everyone

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

My nephew passed away in 2004. Before he passed, his family was given a Wish trip to WDW thru the generosity of Make-A-Wish and Give Kids the World. I promised myself that I would make a generous donation to both charities in Lukie's name each Christmas. I also make sure that I donate a toy to Toys for Tots that would be appropriate for a child who would be his age. This year he would have been 4.

 

[staceyfe]

My nephew passed away in 2004. Before he passed, his family was given a Wish trip to WDW thru the generosity of Make-A-Wish and Give Kids the World. I promised myself that I would make a generous donation to both charities in Lukie's name each Christmas. I also make sure that I donate a toy to Toys for Tots that would be appropriate for a child who would be his age. This year he would have been 4.

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful way to honor and remember your nephew each year.

 

[kc10family]

Her is my take on it all….. (two stories)



1. My mother works for the post office and used to be the “Santa” coordinator at her branch. Kids would write letters to Santa and the post office would open them for people in the community to come and pick a “needy” child and by things for that child. The carrier for that childs house would then deliver the gifts to those houses. (this was suppose to be for the NEEDY) Many postal carriers would come back and talk about taking “needy” kids gifts to houses with new cars, big houses and none “needy” kids. This turned me off to that process after hearing that for a few years in a row.



2. I tried to submit a family for assistance this year. OMG!!! It was the hardest thing in the world. I called so many places.. Toys for Tots. Churches and so on. Only one group said they would help, the local Moose lodge was willing to take them a meal. See the family (3 kids, just moved to the area because the father deployed to Iraq for a year) took in three more kids because the father (aka mothers brother) couldn’t care for his kids. So 3 of her own, then took in her 3 nephews, her husband is in Iraq and NOW her mother needed her help and moved in also. Dear God that’s 8 people in a three bedroom trailer and in a year that will be 9 people when dad gets home from Iraq.

They have enough to make it (pay bills and buy clothes from goodwill and other thrift stores), but not enough for anything extra like Christmas. With all the organizations I spoke with this Christmas Season trying to get this family a little help I got only one group who wanted to help them.



This has made me think very hard and long about whom I give to from now on. I will no longer just give to any group who can no tell me how many people they’ve helped, have pictures to show of those they’ve helped, can explain how they choose the people who receive they gifts/help. If these things can’t be done for me, then they will not get anything from me. I know this sounds very “Grinch” but I knew of a family who needed help and they didn’t “fit” the “needy” guidelines. Give me a break.



Anyway that’s my take on it all.

 

[WDWfor5]

What I did this year was to have my Girl Scout Troop adopt a family from our school. I spoke to the school nurse who gave us info on the families (age, boy/girl, size but no names) and she made her choices based on who qualifies for free lunch and also who she knows is struggling.

I involved the 8 other girl scout troops from our town and between us we adopted 12 families. Each child is getting a toy, a book and an item of clothing. My troop (1st graders) brought in their gifts instead of doing a gift exchange and spent their Christmas party wrapping gifts for these children in need and it was GREAT!!

The mothers were thrilled to have a way to help and to buy for someone in need instead of another gift exchange. My co-leader and I were so happy to make a difference. I can't tell you how great it was to see this huge pile of 15 presents for a family with 5 young children who need it.

Do I know they're in need? No but I'm trusting the nurses judgement and glad to make some magic.

 

[BUCKEYE MICKEY]

Well as someone who recieved help last year, you never know.

We had a newer car, decent house and my dd's (ages 2 -10) never were dressed poorly. Last winter after 16 yrs with the same co. I got down sized out of my job. That spring I was diagnoised w/ leukemia. With all the dr bills we had to down size christmas, yes we still were able to get presents, but what these kids had been through with me in and out of the hospital, getting shuffled to one relative after another I felt bad that I couldn't give them a better Christmas. I even told my dd 8 about Santa so she would think she had been bad this year. We had many folks ask if we needed help, I said no. We had presents, some kids had nothing.

Well school always adopts families at christmas, but every family they asked refused any help. I was in the hospital getting more chemo right before Christmas. I help out at school alot, to the point that I know the teachers and they know me and my girls. So they decided they would adopt us. To have those presents come through my door was one of the best things that happened to me, in a very difficult year. They knew my girls had some presents, but thought if any one deserved a great christmas it was them. They even had some things for my dh and me (the only thing we opened Christmas)

I'm not saying turn a blind eye to giving /helping those who seem to have everything, but you never know the situation.

And for those who don't believe in Santa, he will not show up on the doorstep of the mom and dad who can buy thier kids everything, he is in the mom and dad who buy extra to give to those less fortunate, the man who helps at a homeless shelter, or the teachers and staff who want to make a family's Christmas a little brighter.

We have always bought presents for church from the giving tree we have, it could be anything from underwear to a coat. I always bought 4, one for each dd blessings. I saddens me that I will not be able to do this again this year. I was able to buy ome stuffed animals to give. I am still not working, but my girls will not be disappointed at Christmas.

Please if you are able do something for another person, be a Santa.

Sorry so long. God bless

 

[HaleyB]

We do give at Christmas time and all year round and I never worry about who is on the other end. When I was a teen my family almost lost everything due to a catastrophic illness. We had nice cars and a beautiful home. We must have looked rich from the outside. But we needed help that year. So you really never know.

I really don't think many people abuse the system. Anyone who has ever needed help knows how hard it is to ask for it. Anyone who has ever worked the other end, deciding who to help, knows how much real need is really out there.

We like to give to local organizations. I have worked at our local food pantry with my Scouts and I know they never waste a penny that they get.

 

[dbarker]

I always donate to Toys For Tots. Is there a women's / family abuse shelter in your area? We helped out a family at my work this year.