Help!!!!

[Banshee]

I am finally getting through to my DS on the potty training he has been faithfully peeing on the potty for about 2 weeks now but poo is another issue. I dont know what to do Last thursday I just made it with him onto the potty and he went I cheered and told him how proud I was and let him pick a potty reward for pooing on the potty I even called DH at work so he could congratulate him for beign a big boy. The second time on Friday he tried to make it on the potty but didnt make it and it got on the bathroom floor. I did not scold him I told him it was ok that he made a good try and that the next time to tell me when he had to go and I would help him. Now on Sunday my oldest DS comes out of the family room and informs me that little DS has pooped on the floor!!! He made no effort to get to the potty!!! Why? I have no idea maybe I am wrong but I scolded him this time not bad I just said that is a bad boy and that you dont poop on the floor you do it on the potty. All day yesterday he said his tummy hurt and everytime I would run him right in to use the potty but he wouldnt go. Well this morning same thing he pee's on the potty first thing and nothing else about a half hour later he complains about his tummy and I take him right in to the potty where he sits and refuses to go!! I keep telling him its ok and that he should go I offered him more prizes and told him we would walk to the park if he goes on the potty. And he said no I want a diaper!!!!! He hasnt had a diaper in two weeks!!! I told him no way your a big boy now. I eventually let him off the potty went into the kitchen he went into the family room and propmtly pooped on the floor again!!!What do I do?? Please any one with advice let me know!!! Thanks

 

[mdsouth]

What a dilema! I think you have done the right thing.

Is he using the regular toliet when he goes #1? If so, he may feel uncomfrtable and not able to bear down on the large toliet when it comes to going #2. You may try a child's sized potty chair. Or you may show him how he can sit backwards on the toliet and hold onto the back of the toliet. Many kids feel more comfortable that way at first.

Let us know how it goes! Here's a little pixie dust your way

 

[Banshee]

Yes he is using using the big potty when he does #1 I didnt think that he would be having problems bearing down maybe a little stool (no pun intended) would help something for him to put his feet on. Thanks

 

[cukak6]

With my DS last year. He would go #1 but always did #2 behind the couch!! You are a much more patient person than I am. It only took about 3 days for me to get fed up. I finally had to take a day off of work, stay home with him, and let him go without any clothes, underwear, or diaper for the day. Surprisingly, it worked. When my mother first mentioned doing this I freaked. Didn't think it would make a difference but it did. From that day on he was completely potty trained and never went back. Good luck!

 

[freckles and boo]

From what I have read, this is very, very common. We had the same issue with our older daughter - it took an extra three months to get to where she would consistently go number two in the toilet. She wore Pull-ups and would pee in the toilet and poop in the Pull-up. Just consider it another stage in the process and don't stress yourself or your child out about it. Just keep praising the good stuff and the rest will follow when he is ready.

 

[Banshee]

Well we did the whole running around the house naked that is how we actually got him to start using the potty. I am glad to hear that we are not the only ones going through this! My MIL is acting like something is wrong with him.

 

[LegoMom3]

From what I have read, this is very, very common. We had the same issue with our older daughter - it took an extra three months to get to where she would consistently go number two in the toilet. She wore Pull-ups and would pee in the toilet and poop in the Pull-up. Just consider it another stage in the process and don't stress yourself or your child out about it. Just keep praising the good stuff and the rest will follow when he is ready.

Totally agree with this!! I dont' want to discourage you (it WILL happen!!!...I promise!) but I've seen 3 boys through diapers & potty training, and two of the three took quite a while to poop in the potty, even though they had become pros at peeing in it. Very common, very normal. Don't scold or punish; they're just trying to work through something that is very new and unfamiliar to them! Don't hesitate to discuss with thier doctor, if you haven't already.

Hang in there!....this, too, shall pass!

 

[Hannathy]

Banshee don't feel bad you scolded him a little I scolded mine more than a little when he went outside of the potty once and it didn't scar him for life. Don't go back to diapers or pull ups. Maybe your older son could say something to him, not mean or teasing ,often the little guys want to be just like them or at lest not be thought of as a baby by them! Good luck.

 

[bartleby1]

Unfortunately, there probably isn't much you can do. He is in control here. I went through the same thing with my son about a year ago. He would pee on the potty but poop in his pull-up. I tried the naked thing, he pooped on the floor. I tried buying new big boy undies with his favorite characters, he pooped in them. I tried rewarding, I tried punishing him, I think I even cried at times, lol! Nothing worked. I was feeling pressure because pre-school was approaching and he needed to be trained before it started. We also had a 16 day vacation to Florida planned right before school started so I really wanted it done before we left on vacation.

Well, out of frustration, I gave up. I put his big boy undies on his dresser where he could see them and I put him back in pull-ups. I told him to let me know when he was ready for big boy undies. So, 2 days before we were leaving for our long drive from NJ to Florida, he came walking downstairs with his undies in hand and announced "I'm ready TODAY". Part of me was happy, but part of me thought "Oh no! How are we going to do this on the drive down and throughout the trip!" He insisted that he could do it and he did! Not a single accident! I think I finally convinced him to wear a pullup over his undies (or maybe it was under his undies, I can't remember), "just in case".

So, basically what I'm trying to say in this long winded post is that he is in control and nothing you do is going to speed along the process until he makes the decision to do it. I know that it is VERY frustrating but he WILL do it when he wants to. Hang in there!

 

[Banshee]

Thanks guys. He did it again this morning and he knows now that I think it is bad because he covered it up with one of his shirts!!I really dont want to put him in a pull up I did yesterday when my husband took him out and he came home with a very pee pee filled pull up!!! (my DH probably did not ask him if he needed to go!) So I am afraid he will really go in reverse! He has not had one pee accident in 2 weeks so I dont want that to happen again. I think I will wind up getting him a potty chair. Like I said in a pp I am glad that he is not the only one experiencing this.

 

[Disnicole]

We are going through the exact same thing, well he doesn't go on the floor he just holds it in which is making it harder for him to go when he finally has no choice but to let it out. I have finally just resorted to sticking him in a pull up only when he looks like he is gearing up to go. He goes we clean him up and put him back in the underwear. I'm looking at that deadline for preschool too, but I have finally resigned myself to backing off . Good luck

 

[freckles and boo]

Our preschool was great about allowing my daughter to wear a Pull-up, which she only did for the first month or so. She never did have an accident in the Pull-up, but if necessary the school would call the parents and have us come and change the children. Unfortunately establishing a deadline for this kind of thing causes many parents plenty of unnecessary stress. As for regressing, kids do it all the time with all kinds of skills including potty training.

 

[jj1403]

Next time he poops on the floor make him clean it up! He'll be pretty disgusted. And think twice about pooping on the floor the next time.

My daughter didn't poop on the floor but when she pooped in her pull up we put her in the bathtub (without water) and told her she had to change her own bum. In the end she had to change her own bum twice, she was so grossed out that it only took about a week and we've had no accidents since.

 

[In a hurry]

A 4 year old cleaning up poop sounds a bit extreme. Why not just rub his nose in it like a puppy?

If he isn't ready, why freak out? It obviously is bothering him for some reason. Maybe it is a change in schedule, your pregnancy, or whatever. Give him a bit, and start again when you are both settled down a bit, IMO.

 

[ribbot]

Potty training was the WORST thing so far for me. It went on 2 1/2 years. Yep, you're reading that correctly. My son was 4 1/2 before he was going to the potty, but get this----he was in preschool at the age of 3 and 4. He never ONCE went in his pants at preschool---but he'd come home and 1/2 hour later he'd be going in his pants. That used to frustrate the heck outta me.

When I started potty training, I bribed, I pleaded, I begged, I sat there, I gave presents, I bought books, videos, asked questions, cried, screamed, sat in silence and disbelief, I cried some more, I think I pulled some of my hair out too. But guess what? Eventually someday he will get it. Personally, I can't even tell you what makes it click for them---but if you have an ornery child like I do, I think they just hold out for as long as possible just to see the sweat running down your face.

Even to this day--he's 6 and he will hold it 8 or 9 hours. I guess he just has a big bladder or something. Oh and let's not talk about #2---just last night he was out on our back porch and I heard him yelling--"I'm so sorry!" I ran out and said for what?? He said I just pooped my pants. Oh lordy--you should feel the frustration well up inside of you then! He said "I was scared to go into the bathroom by myself" (he didn't know I was right inside the house). So no matter what--even if you do get them trained, there will always be an accident. And to top it off, my son is a child that always says no when you ask him if he has to go potty. He could be dancin' the 2 step and he'd still say no.

One of the best stories though is---in the summer we'd let him pee outside near a tree to train him. So last year when we were at Epcot---we walked into the park and he decides he had to pee and didn't he take off and run towards one of those trees??? I was like NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! you can't do that here!!

I know it's frustrating right now---but don't rush him. Just let him know pee and poo goes into the potty and whenever he is ready he'll go for it. Trust me---you WILL laugh about it someday

 

[brandylouwho]

I feel your pain...

My DD is potty training and having problems with pooping. She generally does fine on the weekends at home, she sneaks off and goes in the big potty or in her little potty. Daycare is another story. She will indicate that she has to go, but won't take the time to or needs more privacy or something. (If I knew what the problem was it would sure be easier to solve). The result is that she gets constipated. Eventually it HAS to come out and then it just does, usually in her pants. Poor girl.

But I think that potty training is something the child needs to want to do, this too shall pass. We talk about it, try very hard not to embarass her or make her fell ashamed for it, heck we even talk about mom and dad making poops in the potty. We reward her with fruit roll ups (her favorite) when she does make it in the potty.

 

[ksloane]

I just wanted to second the fact that you are not alone. My DD5 (almost 6) has been trained for #1's for agood 3 years, but we still fought #2's this year in Kindergarten. She truly would not go for weeks so that when she finally does they are huge and painful. My theory is that this pain just makes her not want to go again the next time so that it is a repetitive cycle. *sigh* As other parents on here have mentioned, I tried rewards, punishments, a combination of both, nothing seemed to work) We've made progress this summer (i teach so i'm home with her), but still not through it entirely. I'm feeling the time crunch big time as we are going into FIRST GRADE in August. The k teacher was pretty understanding, but I know first grade teachers are not accustomed to dealing with this.

I also wanted to tell you that I resorted back to pull ups (didn't feel there was much choice with her in school to prevent the kids from knowing much and teasing her). And she almost instanly went back to not even bothering to go to the bathroom ever for any reason! She had a great teacher and both of us worked hard all year with no real success. I even have grown so concerned I've taken her to the doctor (and still considering a followup with a request to be sent to a sepcialist (even though I dont know what kind of dr that is) if the problem doesn't go awy). Doctor gave us recommendations. We followed. didn't help. I guess the point of this long paragraph is that I wouldn't go back to pullups either if you can possibly avoid it. I had to not let mine wear them except at school and at night asleep (she sleeps with me so that was probably just for me).

Ironically, this upcoming trip to WDW has seemed to help us make what progress we had. At the beginning of summer I showed her how much room the pull ups would take up in her suitcase and how little room that left for clothes/toys. (now in reality, I would have made room for all, but didn't feel like she needed to know that). Within a day, we were back to no #1 accidents at all. I even noticed that her pullups were dry in the mornings and we've eliminated pulls ups over night too!!

She still doesn't go #2 often and they are still larger and no doubt painful, BUT when we started this she only went when she had no choice. But about 2 weeks ago I saw the post about the Potato Head parts and showed her some pics that I found on this board and she just had to have that. So I've offered her both Mr. and Mrs. as rewards for going before she has no choice but to go. Both have been successful..still several days of little accidents, but she is making more effort than ever. We've now discussed that she can get the My Little Pony accessories (but haven't found any pics ). So we have a new deal that if she comes and tells me the first time she has any sort of accident in her panties, we'll go sit and read stories or do whatever is necessary to entertain ourselves for as long as necessary while she goes. If she does, she gets a box of MPH accessories AND the MLP ones!!

Ok. I guess this evolved into a long story just to tell you you're not alone, but wanted you to know that you have lots of folks going through similiar situations and also that you just have to keep trying and trying...eventually you and he will find a combination that works (as I am really hoping we have finally found).

 

[Alex2kMommy]

A 4 year old cleaning up poop sounds a bit extreme. Why not just rub his nose in it like a puppy?

I don't think it's extreme at all, and I also wouldn't treat it as a punishment. The idea is self-sufficiency and teaching that we must deal with the consesquences of our actions. By age 3 (assuming the child has no physical or development issues) if a child is not potty-training it is an issue of control, not biology. If the child is making the choice to poop in their underwear, then they should also deal with the clean-up.

My DS(then just turned)3 was not at all interested in potty-training, in fact had been very resistent to it due to a very pushy daycare teacher. He was moved up to the preschool class anyway, which usually had slightly older children who were potty-trained already. That teacher, when a child had a potty-accident, commiserated with the child, then handed them some wipes and told them to clean themselves up and she would get them some clean clothes. Within two days (and several accidents every day!) he was working very hard at it and within the week was potty-trained. He still had an occasional accident (still does, at age 5), but I was amazed that that was all it took!

I am just getting started on potty-training DS2 (and as a SAHM, no one else to help or hinder the experience!) - Hopefully this one will be easier!

 

[lauritagoddess]

Pooping on the potty can come a long time after peeing. My son was in underwear and peeing on the potty for months before he pooped in it. He would ask for a pull-up and poop in it, but that was the only time he used one. Finally, I pushed the issue. I read some really great advice on Dr. Greene's website -

http://www.drgreene.com/21_762.html

Basically the idea is to get them comfortable pooping. First you have them poop in the bathroom. They can still use a diaper or a pull-up, but they have to be in the bathroom. Then they poop sitting on the toilet. They still wear the pull-up, but sitting on the toilet. Then you try and take the pull-up away and have them poop right on the toilet. If they can't do that, you let them keep the pull-up on, but cut a hole in it so the poop goes into the toilet. This worked really well with my son. He threw a huge fuss the first day about pooping in the bathroom, but did it. I let him do that for a week. Then for another week he pooped on the toilet with the pull-up. I took away the pull-up and he did it and was so proud of himself. So from so many months of trying to get him to poop on the toilet, it took me just 2 weeks with this method. And knock wood, he never looked back and never had one poop accident after that.

Good luck!!

 

[sbpuckett]

OK, I'm not reading all replies, as I'm getting ready to eat dinner. However, my ds4 finally did so about a week and a half ago. He has now went 3 times. We had a huge problem with him holding it until it would make his tummy hurt and was painful to go. We are still dealing and struggling with this, but he hasn't had any accidents since he went in the potty the first time. This is what we did:

1. He's using a childrens potty seat but goes pee pee in the big potty.
2. He does this little dance when he's ready to go and the first 2 times we had to fight him to get him to sit down on the potty. The 3rd time just a little whining and he kinda did it himself.
3. A couple of days before I took him to WM and showed him the little pet show toys (he loves cats right now) and told him I would buy him one when he went to the potty. He got a toy after the first time, got another after 2 more times, now he has to go 3 times to get another toy.

Also, with our older son he needed that childs seat they sell at WM that fits on the regular potty seat. It has handles and keeps them from feeling like they are going to fall through.

FYI - boys are much much harder (usually) to potty train but he will eventually do it. I survived, millions of mommy's before us survived, you will too.