Help! My parents agreed to come along but insist on paying for their part of the trip

[RWF]

Okay, here's the deal. We had a wonderful family trip to WDW in May. Then, I thought: Gee, wouldn't it be great to plan another trip before my AP expires and our youngest turns 3. And gee, wouldn't it be fun to invite my parents along and treat for a special trip. Well, my parents have agreed to go, but they insist on paying for their portion. So, I'm feeling really guilty because they only have a few months to save, and I feel as if I've put them in a tough spot because they definitely live on a budget.

Anyway, who has been in a position when you wanted to pay for someone else and had to be kind of sneaky? My mom is very hard to fool and will want to see all receipts, etc. Any tips would be appreciated. I've have even considered lying about another free dining plan so I can get the package for them and they will think it was free. I am feeling pretty desperate.

 

[Hoosier Mom]

I don't know your parents. But if my parents insisted, then I would probably offend them by not allowing them to pay their own way.

Enjoy your trip! I sure wish our parents were in good enough health to go along with us next year.

 

[DeeDeeDis]

I think saying the meal plan is included in the price is a great idea. That way they'll feel like they are paying their share and you will feel better being able to treat them to a portion of their trip.

One of the most expensive portions of a trip to wdw is the food.

have a great trip hope everything works out

 

[ohanafamily]

I would say that Park passes are also included with the package.

I think you can also put the incidental charges on one bill and let them pick up the room only.

Also, "The trip is already paid for, we can settle up when we get home" might work, or even "DW and I want to do this as a special anniversary gift."

Just a few random thoughts.

 

[DeeDeeDis]

I would say that Park passes are also included with the package.

Wow i think thats a great idea Ohanafamily

 

[RWF]

Great tips. I appreciate the input. Is it possible to do a room only reservation and then change it to a package? This might be a good way to show mom a confirmationl for the room and tell her that the cost includes tickets and dining. Then, I could add the package and pay for it on the sly. Of course the letter will say "room only," but I might be able to work around that.

 

[ohanafamily]

I bet if you call them at DTA, they will be most accommodating. They might have even seen this sitch before and give you more ideas.

407-939-4636

 

[KristiKelly]

It might be cheaper not to get the meal package. Since you have an AP, you can get a Disney Dining Experience card for $50. This gives you 20% at most sit down restaurants in WDW and is good for up to 9 people in the party. I know that doesn't really help you with your mom but might save you a few dollars.

You might could book room only w/ your AP and buy the tickets separately. Tell her that it is a special thru WDW and when booked with an AP rate the computer prints out room only but the tix are included at no chg. Then have all the confirmation sent to your house. When it comes, stick the tickets (that you bought separately) in the envelope and give it to your mom. Use the DDE (disney dining card) while there, everyone must be on 1 bill. If she insist on paying for meals, well there's probably not much you can do about that but at least you can get 20% off.

Good luck on your trip.

 

[RWF]

Yes, it would be cheaper to use the DDE, but I was considering that the extra expense for the dining plan would be worth it if my parents didn't have to worry about food expenses while they were there. Then they would have nicer meals because they wouldn't be thinking about the cost of a steak dinner. They would never spend that much money otherwise.

You guys have been great. Thanks for all of the brainstorming.

BTW, KristiKelly, that was a great idea about including the tickets with the confirmation.

 

[crisi]

I wouldn't lie. If your mom is pretty bright she'll figure things out. She'll talk to someone who knows, or something.

I'd sit down and level with her. "Mom, we really want you to come, but insisting on paying your own way is making us feel really guilty - we know your budget is a lot tighter than ours and this is a really expensive trip. Let us pick up the room and tickets, and you can pick up a few meals and "pay for yourself" by babysitting one night for us." It might take some negotiating - she may end up paying for her own room while you get the park tickets, but it sounds like you are considerate of her feelings, which means she probably taught you that and will be considerate of yours.

(If she continues to insist how about a trade - you pay for the trip, she puts money in a 529 plan for your daughter).

How fast are your going? Could you rent some DVC points and get a two bedroom unit? That would put you all in the same space while you make the arrangements and can then charge her "appropriately" for her portion - she doesn't need to know the details of the rental arrangement. The dining plan isn't available on points, but you could get a DDE card.

 

[staci]

I would tell them that you would really appreciate if they could help out with the kids at night/whenever so that you and dh could do something on your own, and that you would not feel right to make them babysitting without paying them back in some way, and that you want to give them the dining plan to show your appreciation for everything that they have done for your kids.

Also, idk your room situations or where you are staying,but is there any way that you could have share room expenses with them, like by putting one of your children in a bed in their room so that you would have more 'space' or something, so that you could pay a portion of their room expense?

Or, just quote her the price for the room only, and when you get there, give them the room keys and let them know how to use the park tickets and dining plan. Once it is paid for, they will have a harder time saying no.

Hope this helps you!

 

[MrGrumpy222]

I would tell them that you would really appreciate if they could help out with the kids at night/whenever so that you and dh could do something on your own, and that you would not feel right to make them babysitting without paying them back in some way, and that you want to give them the dining plan to show your appreciation for everything that they have done for your kids.

Also, idk your room situations or where you are staying,but is there any way that you could have share room expenses with them, like by putting one of your children in a bed in their room so that you would have more 'space' or something, so that you could pay a portion of their room expense?

Or, just quote her the price for the room only, and when you get there, give them the room keys and let them know how to use the park tickets and dining plan. Once it is paid for, they will have a harder time saying no.

Hope this helps you!

I don't know for sure but perhaps just say thanks and let them pay. I know that if my DS who is 13 was Dad with his own family I would not let him pay for me for anything. You may just offend them. Look at it like this. What else are they going to do with their money. If it makes them happy then so be it. But then again if they truly can't afford it you can use some scheme (Like Lucy and Ethel) and try to fool them. Or just ask them for a check after you go telling them it is on a credit card for "frequent flyer miles" and never cash it. You'll screw up their books but they'll have the money. Sorry I am not that much help.
Cheers

 

[Mommy Poppins]

How about "Merry Christmas, this is our gift to you" And add in that if they would be willing to babysit for a nite that would be great also.

 

[Del]

We insisted that we pay when we took my parents. We took care of plane, room and hotel and park tx. When we were down, they paid for many meals and spoiled their grand kids. Del

 

[Steph H]

Just my humble opinion, but it may be very important to your parents that they pay their own way. They may feel uncomfortable that their "children" have to pay for their trip--makes them feel less independent. Even my dad, at 55, couldn't handle it when I bought a meal for him because "my kids shouldn't be supporting me!" And here I was just trying to show him that he raised a daughter to be financially well-off and not dependent on anyone.

Remember they are still your parents and YOU are still their kid--they'll never stop seeing you that way. Give them a wonderful Christmas gift, something they can really use, and let them feel like they are helping you. It may be less about the money to them and more about the independence.

 

[jtopp]

You may find it hard to fool them. You could also compromise on meals and other "perks" such as babysitting for a romantic dinner or a night at pleasure island. I would also be happy that the grandparents want to be able to enjoy their grandchildrens happiness at WDW, and to be an important part of their lives. Your children will remember that the grandparents were there, not who paid the bill

 

[100AcreWood]

We just returned from a September trip with my parents. We planned the trip over a year ago and told them it would be their Christmas present from us. My parents have never been to Disney. In fact they hadn't ever taken a real vacation. Just beach trips when I was young.

They insisted on paying for the hotel and airline tickets. Fortunately we found some great deals. Then, they paid for half of the meals. We paid for most of the more expensive meals and I bought their tickets before the trip. When we returned they sent us a check for $500! I called and told my Mom we weren't planning to cash it, it was your Christmas present remember! But they insisted. We agreed to cash the check instead of pressing the issue. They were happy and they had a great trip, and that's all that mattered.

Good luck!

 

[mickeyfan2]

I don't know your parents. But if my parents insisted, then I would probably offend them by not allowing them to pay their own way.

I agree. Maybe you could setup a special meal for two for them that is paid for. We did this for our friends. I just left my AmEx # with the restaurant and told them to bill me. Would that work?

 

[BlondeAlligator]

In my family we have to be really sneaky about these issues. We have been known to get up in the middle of a dinner & snag the waitress, give her our credit card & essentially "pre-pay" the meal so that my Dad never even sees that bill. Of course, in my fam ily it has become a sort of game that everyone usually wins at one point or another.

If it is a pride issue with your folks, let them pay and trust that they won't do anything they cannot afford. If, however, you really feel strongly about helping them out, then talk to them and explain that you didn't give them as long to budget for the trip as you would have liked to, and tell them that you would like to pick up their passes , or some meals, or whatever. My rule of thumb is to offer twice and then stop pushing the issue.

If you want to be sneaky, you could always visit the front desk and have them put your parents' room/room charges on your card and tell them it's a surprise. Then it's done before your folks can do anyting about it.

If they just refuse to let you pay for anything, but you notice them eyeing a souvenier that they don't buy for themselves, buy it for them to remember the trip by. You could even have it delivered to their room or home.

Hope this helps! Good luck & have a great trip!

 

[mc'smommy]

I would do one of two things,
first tell your parents that this was your idea and your suggestion of paying for it.

If they wish to go with you then they must concede and be thankful they have such a wonderful child and a wonderful relationship with that child..
And they can repay you by helping with sitting with the children, being an extra set of hands and eyes and ears...
( there was another thread about a not so good relationship with the OP 's mother and she didn't want her to come along )

Or I would say I love you and if you feel the need to chip in so be it and plan for a wonderful night for the two of them with dinner and a boat cruise on the lakes with a great view of the fire works...


Good luck aand consider yourself blessed !