Help - My Daughter is Homesick!

[Buzz's Buddy]

Okay, my daughter is a freshman and she moved-in last Thursday and started class on Monday. We live in NJ and she is going to school outside of Washington, D.C., about 3 hours away.

She called today and she's miserable. She even brought up the idea of coming home this weekend and not going back. I know she's not the only freshman to feel this way, but telling her that probably doesn't help make her feel any better.

What can we do to help her out? She's getting along okay with her roommate and she has met some new people, but we've also tried to encourage her to meet other people too. We've suggested that she join a group or two that she is interested in so as to meet new people.

Any other suggestions? Thanks!

 

[dnoyes]

Get a webcam and download Skype. You can sit and talk to her face to face for free as long as you want.
We are doing this with our daughter and it is helping her a ton.

Good luck

 

[sneekypeeks]

Give her small goals to obtain or look forward too. Send her a care package and tell her it will get there in a week (give a specific date). Send her a card and tell her what day it will get there. Get her to set small goals for herself as well. It is always easier to deal with things in small time frames vs long ones. I used to tell myself I could do anything for a week. The next week I would start over. If she can get in the habit of only looking a week or two ahead, it won't seem as daunting as looking at a whole semester, and time FLIES by.

Good luck, homesickness is a rough thing, but let her know it will get TONS easier around the two month mark. She can do anything for another month!

 

[Jelliebean]

Give her small goals to obtain or look forward too. Send her a care package and tell her it will get there in a week (give a specific date). Send her a card and tell her what day it will get there. Get her to set small goals for herself as well. It is always easier to deal with things in small time frames vs long ones. I used to tell myself I could do anything for a week. The next week I would start over. If she can get in the habit of only looking a week or two ahead, it won't seem as daunting as looking at a whole semester, and time FLIES by.

Good luck, homesickness is a rough thing, but let her know it will get TONS easier around the two month mark. She can do anything for another month!

This is absolutely fantastic advice. For anything, really, homesickness included!

 

[sneekypeeks]

Thanks, I worked at a ski resort and a guest ranch for a couple of years. Sometimes things got rough being away from home, with no car, and being in such close quarters with the same people for months on end. A friend gave me the advice about the "I can do anything for..." It has been a life saver more times than I can count and without it I don't think I could have completed college.

And I always remembered that my homesickness would only last around 1.5-2 months. After that, life got good again.

 

[DisneyAngie]

deleted

 

[Buzz's Buddy]

Thanks for the advice!

She has a webcam built into her laptop, so it looks like I'll be going out to get a webcam tonight.

I like the small goals advice too. In fact, we've already set some of those for her. The school has a lot going on to keep her busy, it's just a matter of getting her to go to those events!

 

[kmg148]

I go to school in FL and I'm from PA. I dealt with really bad homesickness Freshman year.

The worst was probably a month into the semester. My group of friends started seperating and finding other new friends. I was the only one who didn't really (they joined clubs and stuff).

I'd suggest she join a club or maybe a sorority. Definitely send her a care package--as a senior I still look forward to them! Cards don't cost a lot, but sending them often may be nice.

Now this may not work for your family or your daughter, but in my situation I tried to cure the homesickness by going home for a weekend a month after school started. It actually worked--I was able to see that my friends were still there and nothing had changed. A big part of the homesickness for me was the worry of what would happen to my relationships back home. I thought everything would change when I went to college. When I got confirmation that it didn't by going home that one time, I was never homesick again!

I still go home a lot, even though I am far away. I talk to my parents a couple times a day. I'm really close to my family. My boyfriend lives back home. It's not easy and I miss home, but I don't feel sad or lonely like I did those first couple weeks.

 

[moviekid21]

I was never away from home till I went into the Disney College Program and ended up being half a country away. I never really got home sick, but there were things that really made me feel better.
Talk about things going on on campus that she can take part in. Especially look for things that interest her.
Sending things like cards are simple, and always make the recipient feel a ton better. They take a little more effort than an email, and the person recieving it knows and appreciates that. Get a rally of her friends, former coworkers, and family members to suprise her with a 'card bomb' one day. Have them all get cards with a specific theme, it doesn't even have to do with a special occasion. Then have everyone mail their card on the same day. She should recieve them all on the same day or over the course of two days. Having a bunch of surprise cards come in the mail all at once can really make someone's week! They'll know many people are thinking about them and that will make them feel special.

 

[Scully12]

Okay, my daughter is a freshman and she moved-in last Thursday and started class on Monday. We live in NJ and she is going to school outside of Washington, D.C., about 3 hours away.

She called today and she's miserable. She even brought up the idea of coming home this weekend and not going back. I know she's not the only freshman to feel this way, but telling her that probably doesn't help make her feel any better.

What can we do to help her out? She's getting along okay with her roommate and she has met some new people, but we've also tried to encourage her to meet other people too. We've suggested that she join a group or two that she is interested in so as to meet new people.

Any other suggestions? Thanks!

I go to school outside DC as well
Going away for the first time can be really scary and nerve wracking. I have friends who cried themselves to sleep and said they were leaving after the first semester.
Eventually they met some people and loved their 4 years at school.
It just takes a little longer for some people than others.
If there is Sorority Recruitment in the Fall maybe suggest that? It's a really great way to get out and meet people even with out joining an organization.
The school may have Welcome Week activities with a lot of tables and organizations out there with information. Suggest these! A great way to find out about campus orgs!

In a couple weeks she'll probably be having so much fun she forgot she was so upset to begin with!