HELP MOMs!

[lukenick1]

Last time I got such good advice I knew where to come the next time. My 7 year old (2nd grade) is a fearful child. He is afraid of "Goosebumps" books and shows. For the last 2 times he has gone to library at school he has not been able to sleep for a week. He is telling me he is afraid of the Goosebump books and he wants to sleep with me. Well, I refuse to let my kids sleep in my bed. I don't want to start that habit. I let him fall asleep next to me the first week this started and after 5 nights he was ready to go back in his bed until the next library day. Now the cycle is starting all over again. He made the mistake of telling kids in his class he was afraid of them so now they are purposely showing him the book covers. I don't know what to do. I wrote his teacher a note saying I don't want him going to library for a while. How can I convince this child that the books aren't real. Its driving me crazy!!!!! Oh and he is also scared of alot of Halloween stuff too. Am I being too insensitive or is he milking it??
Thanks

 

[mickeyboat]

My DDs are also scared of lots of things - Goosebumps would scare them, too. But I don't think they would be made afraid just by looking at the covers of books.

Is the librarian reading a Goosebumps book to the kids during library time, or is he really just becoming afraid because he passes by the books on the shelf? I think that is a little extreme to be honest. Can't he just avoid that section of the library?

As for the kids teasing your child in class, the teacher needs to put a stop to that. It's bullying.

Good luck.

Denae

 

[lukenick1]

He is literally afraid of that section of the library and from the kids teasing him with the books covers. I know it is extreme but this has been an ongoing fear of his. About 3 years ago we went to a friends house. Her older daughter had a goosebump book sitting on the table. The cover had an oval mirror with a scary hand popping out of it. He took one look at that cover and the fear has been with him ever since. He never really had this issue with the library and those books til last week. He basically just forgot about it until kids started taking them out last week.

 

[Karibeth19]

My DD went through the same thing last year, and she was 10! She would see the Goosebumps books sitting on classmate's desks, or hear them talk about the stories or other scary stories, and be freaked out by them enough that at bedtime she would have a hard time going to sleep. We talked about how they weren't real, and nothing to be afraid of, and we talked about other nice things she could think of while she tried to fall asleep. It was a challenge for a while, but it eventually passed. Now if she sees or hears something scary, she will be sure to tell me about what scared her, and then tell me what other things she is going to think of to make her forget about it. It may take some time, but your DS will eventually get over it. Just make sure he feels like he can talk to you about what scared him, and then be ready with some ideas of other things he can think of to occupy his mind.

ETA: I was firm and made her stay in her bed though, and I think even though it was a bit of a battle at first, it made the phase pass a bit more quickly. She had to learn how to cope faster than if I relented and let her sleep in our room.

 

[lukenick1]

Thanks, your opinions and suggestions are helpful. I know it is temporary but it seems like there is always something new for him to fear. I guess he's alot like me, I have alot of anxiety too.
I just hate to see him struggle like I do and at the same time it makes me mad. I hate that about myself so now dealing with him makes it all the more a PIA!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

While not your issue, I can share what I did last night for my 12yodd. At this age you know what is bugging him.

She was complaining about feeling sick, her muscles her hurt, etc...

So I asked her about her anxiety and stress. She spilled her guts, and then I told her stress mimicks illness. She is better, more revealed (speech today). She was holding alot in.

My point is that the buildup of fear, stress, teasing, etc...makes the "thing" worse.

Find small ways to desensitive him to things that scare him. If he can gain some control on simple matters (build up of confidence) he may be able to tackle the book phobia.

Maybe make a deal with him to help him overcome it. Create a plan together. I am sure he hates feeling this way and the lure is the promise to feel strong and overcome it.

You can apply this type of method to alot of stuff.

 

[lukenick1]

Any suggestions on how to desensitize him???
Thanks

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Any suggestions on how to desensitize him???
Thanks

How about some role playing?

When he is confronted with something scary he can think of something that makes him feel "in control" or secure.

Like a picture in his pocket or charm of some sort. I am just grasping here. Or a thought that gets him thru it. My dd practices some meditation, but she is 12 now. You build on it.

While he is at home you role play with him and practice how he can handle the library, halloween, other things as he faces them.

I did alot of role playing with my kids to get them through rough patches.

The more he handles it, the better it gets. Takes time. Establishing ways to deal will help for most anything.

I am working on my 12yodd's need to shave her armpits. She gets hives or passes out when freaked. She is afraid of the razor.

Now that may seem silly to some people but it is real to her.

I feel for you. Try some role playing and see if that helps.

 

[lukenick1]

mystery machine........
a suggestion for your dd.
How about using Nair on her arm pits, or even an electric shaver?? There are other ways around it for her. She doesn't have to use a razor.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

mystery machine........
a suggestion for your dd.
How about using Nair on her arm pits, or even an electric shaver?? There are other ways around it for her. She doesn't have to use a razor.

I have the Nair, nope....

Electric shaver is something that is on the list to buy. I look at them and they just look so cruddy for the price. She needs to do her legs to.

I shave her pits now. She is not breaking out in hives anymore. I was hoping that after enough time she will do it herself. Still holding out hope, but come spring I am getting her an electric.