help me with encouraging words...afraid to fly

[Cruella 66]

I'm going to the F$W with my sister at the end of the month. If we fly it would be so much nicer...but I am afraid to fly! Yes, I read Captain Stark's book and it helped last year. Please, send me encouraging words and reassurance to help me buy... Otherwise, it's about a 12 hour drive from where I live...

 

[Vivianne]

Well, since the flight is at the end of the month and you don't have time for long-winded therapy. ...it's about how badly you want to get there quickly.

You can start by thinking positively about the experience and the benefits of flying. Stop reinforcing your fear by telling yourself "I'm afraid"..etc. Replace them with..When I get there I will...I'm looking forward to....Can't wait to see..I'm flying next month and don't even think about the flight. It just gets me there QUICKLY!

You can also distract yourself from these thoughts by bringing an IPod with your favorite music, a good book and/or a even a small DVD player and watch a Disney movie...Hope this helps..Have a great trip...

 

[MarkinNM]

My wife is in the same situation but she does it!

Just stay away from the window seats, relax, go to the bathroom BEFORE you get on the plane so you don’t have to leave your seat. Close the window blind, take your preferred music devise and listen away. Good luck ………..

 

[MEK]

XANAX!

Kidding. But seriously, the more you tell yourself you are afraid, the more your mind will develop anxiety re: flying. You are seeking reassurance and that helps short time. But long term you have to retrain the way your brain thinks about flying.

I know this sounds crazy, but your inherent fear is of dying so you need to ask yourself, "Am I willing to take the risk?" Then you need to tell yourself, " I am going to get on the plane and take the risk of dying". You can even say, "Today I am going to die". Seriously, nothing in life is guaranteed. Make it a joke. When You go back at your brain with the information that your brain wants you to be afraid of, you can can really cure yourself of the fear.

This is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy called "evoke and response prevention". It really, honestly works when practiced everyday. Its not easy, but it is really effective. Unfortunately not many people know about this technique unless they have been treated for an anxiety disorder or OCD. What tends to happen is that people are medicated before they can learn these techniques.

So...reassurance I can not give you. But I can tell you that I think you are WILLING TO TAKE THE RISK and you WILL FLY at the end of the month! Take that naughty brain!

 

[JoeCathyAngelina]

My wife hates to fly; but know she'd rather fly than drive.
The first time we went to Walt Disney World, April 2004 with my 3 year old daughter We decided to go to WDW a couple of months before we went with little planning. We rented some points off the DIS forum, checked the airfares a couple of times and picked up a trip tick from AAA.

We drove from my office in downtown Boston to WDW Old Key West stopping only for gas and bathroom breaks.

After the first 3-4 hours in the car driving the rest of the way to WDW isn't that bad; more like a series of short trips.

Our Trip to WDW started Friday, 3/26/04 at 1 pm: Miles, Stopped, Time

Leaving, Boston to Walt Disney World: Friday, 3/26/04, 1:00pm
1, Boston to New Jersey 212 212 6:00pm
2, N J to Aberdeen MD 183 395 9:07 pm
3, MD to Rocky Mt NC 266 661 1:36 AM
4, NC to Florence SC 209 870 4:40 am
5, SC to S Newport GA 210 1,080 7:58 am
Arrived, GA to WDW 251 1,331 12:00 PM

Started, Friday, 3/26 0 1:00pm
Finished, Saturday, 3/27 1331 12:00pm
A 23 hr trip with 5 stops along the way down
76 gallons of gas, $131 for the gas, 17.78 mpg 58mph
Driving around WDW 21

The Trip Home started Friday, April 2nd 11 AM: Miles Stopped Time

Leaving Walt Disney World to Boston:Friday, April 2nd 11:00 am
1, WDW to St Augustine FL 116 116 12:44 PM
2, FL to Savanah GA 178 294 3:55 PM
3, GA to Florence SC 174 468 6:22 pm
4, SC to Battleboro NC 181 649 9:30 pm
5, NC to Aberdeen MD 295 944 2:17 am
6, MD to Bloomfield NJ 181 1,125 5:30 AM
Arrived, NJ to Boston, MA 237 1,362 9:30 am

Started, Friday, 4/02 11:00 am 0
Finished, Sat, 4/03 9:30 am 1362
A 22 1/2 hr trip with 6 stops on the way home
81 gallons of gas $126 for the gas 17.58 mpg 60.5mph
Driving around WDW 62

157 gallons, $257 for the gas, $44 tolls, 17.68 mpg, 59.2mph 2776


The traffic was a mess from Hartford through Delaware on the way down.
It rained from North Carolina to Boston, Mass. on the way home

Me and my wife alternated turns driving our Nissan Xterra when we stopped for gas. My 3 year old held out a lot better than I thought she would on the way down and on the way back to Boston, WITHOUT, tapes, DVDs, video games, just a lot of singing and sleeping.

It's not that Bad!!!

April 2005 we caught a break in fares and flew down and back out of Logan on a non-stop with American Airlines , $504 round trip total for the 3 of us.

April 2006 we caught a break in fares so we flew down and back out of Logan on a non-stop with Song/Delta , $496 round trip total for the 3 of us.

The 2007 story and stops are pretty much the same as 2004.

We drove from my office in downtown Boston to WDW, Orange Lake Country Club, stopping only for gas and bathroom breaks.

After the first 3-4 hours in the car driving the rest of the way to WDW isn't that bad; more like a series of short trips.

Our Trip to WDW started Friday the 13th of April 2007, at 3:45 pm:

Destination, Miles, Total Miles from Boston, Time

Leaving, Boston to Walt Disney World: Friday, 4/13/07, 3:45pm
1, Boston to New Jersey 208 208 7:49 PM
2, N J to Laurel MD 219 427 11:44 PM
3, MD to Rocky Mt NC 250 677 3:36 AM
4, NC to Manning SC 219 896 7:00 AM
5, SC to Kingsland GA 226 1,122 10:30 AM
Arrived, GA to WDW 203 1,325 2:00 PM

Started, Friday, 4/13/07 3:45 PM
Finished, Saturday, 4/14/07 2:00 pm
A 22 hr trip with 5 stops along the way down
63 gallons of gas, $175 for the gas, 21 mpg


The Trip Home started at 9:45 AM, Saturday, April 21,2007
Destination, Miles, Total Miles from WDW, Time

Leaving Walt Disney World to Boston: Saturday, April 21st 9:45 AM
1, WDW to Kingsland Ga 194 194 12:44 PM
2, GA to Manning SC 226 420 4:16 PM
3, SC to Rocky Mt. NC 218 638 7:42 PM
4, NC to Aberdeen MD 292 930 12:26 AM
5, MD to Newark NJ 170 1,100 3:27 AM
Arrived, NJ to Boston, MA 246 1,346 7:30 AM

Started, Saturday, 4/21 9:45 AM 0 Miles
Finished, Sunday, 4/22 7:30 AM 1346 miles
A 22 hr trip with 5 stops on the way home
62 gallons of gas $175 for the gas 21 mpg

Total miles 2,671, about 21 mpg, about 70 mph
Total gas 125gallons $350
Total Tolls $50

April 2008 we caught a break in fares so we flew down and back out of Logan to Tampa, 4/19-4/26, on a non-stop with AirTran , $753 round trip total for the 3 of us.

April 2009 we caught a break in fares so we flew down and back out of Logan to MCO, 4/18-4/25, on a non-stop with Delta , $627 round trip total for the 3 of us.

April 2010 we caught a break in fares so we're flying down and back out of Logan to Tampa, 4/17-4/24, on a non-stop with Delta , $717 round trip total for the 3 of us.

If all goes well,
The creek don't rise,
and there ain't no melt down,
We'll do it all again next year.

Good Luck all,
Joe


As the story goes;
I always compare the cost and time of flying with the cost of driving.
If flying cost more than twice the cost of driving and it's not a non-stop round trip flight then we drive.
This year, back in May, when the April 2010 spring break fares and schedules came out we caught a break with a Delta non-stop, round trip Boston to Tampa flight, $717 total for the 3 of us.
Driving for us, gas and tolls cost about $400 round trip.
Along for the ride we take a couple bags of snacks, a big cooler and a small cooler filled with sandwiches and drinks.
We stop for gas, breaks and to switch drivers every 200 miles, 3-4 hours, that takes about 10-15 minutes. That's all we need unless we decide to grab something to eat at one of the mall/trip centers where we stop for gas, that usually takes an extra half hour.
We don't take our time and we don't try to hurry it up, we just do what we have to or want to do.
It's really not that big a deal, it's Just bunch of short 3-4 hour trips, not a long 22 hour drive.
Good luck all,
Joe

 

[Cruella 66]

I want to thank you all!!!

I really loved MEK advice. My sister however, keeps telling me, you aren't going to die, quit saying that! I do have an old prescription for Ativan...and I am not afraid to use it.

I did book the SW flights; one up and one down, at night. I will get an aisle seat too. I paid the extra for seating; hopefully it will work out.

By doing this instead of arriving sometime Wednesday, the first day of our trip, we'll arrive Tuesday night at 9 p.m. I am going to use some points to get a DVC room for that night. Then we leave on Sunday and instead of driving all day and getting home sometime that night, we can 'play' at WDW most of the day and still get in at 9 at night!

Now...all I have to do is get on the plane...

 

[Chelley00]

I'm petrified of flying. Horribly. But I'm going to do it. I'm taking DD on a trip and Dh was totally against me driving alone with her. 17 hour driving or 2 hour flight. I'm taking our laptop with movies to try and keep my mind off where I'm at, my IPOD etc and going for it.

You have a higher chance of dying driving there, percentage wise. Doesn't make me feel much better, but I'll chant it over and over if I have to

We can do it

 

[mommy*RN]

I used to be deathly afraid of flying...and then I had kids. Oh how many times I must put on a brave face to keep them from freaking out....centipedes (my most hated nemesis), thunderstorms...etc. I still refuse to fly over water though...and I won't sit near a window. I cannot look out during take off and landing, but when we are sailing above the clouds...it's so beautiful.

Take things along that relax you. Your ipod with favorite music...a book you've been wanting to read...a magazine with an engrossing article in it. Anything to help you keep your mind off flying. Our last trip in 2006 I saved a book that I'd bought for the flight. I was always sooo tempted to pick the book up and plow in, but I waited for the trip. Once on the flight I got the kids settled and opened my book...and before I knew it they were announcing that we would be landing. I love to read though and can easily lose myself in a good book...so you have to know what you love to do that whittles away the hours...knitting, reading, listening to music...whatever it takes. I have my book all picked out for our late-October trip...but this time I'm not buying it until much closer to our trip so it doesn't sit on my nightstand and mock me.

Flying is scary and I always want to kiss the ground when we are done...but it really is quite safe. Think of how many flight attendants and pilots actually RETIRE from their jobs!

I hope you have a pleasant flight. Do whatever you need to in order to make yourself comfortable for the flight and know you are not alone. I have a feeling that there are at minimum at least 30-40% on a plane at any given time that have the same fear as you do. Just a guess.

Have a great trip!

 

[willonlyflytodisney]

First... I would say - check my username. That pretty much explains it all. Victim of a fear of flying for 5 years.

Here is my advice - and there is lots of it. It's none of the basic advice - more specific, I guess. While all of that advice is extremely helpful, sometimes it's the little things.

This is in no particular order - it's just all the advice I've received that has worked for me.

It is also specifically for IN FLIGHT - rather than PRE-FLIGHT

Bring sucking candies, and lots of them - even lollipops. Sucking on things can make things, well... suck less.

Bring gum for take off and landing - if your ears won't pop, it just adds to the stress.

Trust that the ride there is worth it. When you can't help but think you are going to die - take a moment to realize what an amazing thing we have that you can get from one place to another so quickly.

Understand that the ride back will be tremendously better. Also - imagining that you are on Soarin' is the BEST way to deal with flying for Disney fans.

Try to have a hand to hold - or squeeze. If you can't have a hand, bring something to squish or squeeze.

If you have an ipod or a video player that you are bringing to distract yourself, try and choose something new that you haven't heard before - something someone recommends for you. The reason I say this is because although sometimes it helps to have music you are familiar with, it won't distract you unless you are interested in every word of that song. For instance, pick a movie that will peak your interest, not one that is predictable. Something that you've wanted to see for a long time, that kind of thing.

I would HIGHLY suggest taking a flight to a place you don't NEED to go to before you get to the big flight. The reason I say this is because taking a flight just for the mere fact of taking a flight can help ease the stress. Knowing that no one is counting on you to take this flight, and that it doesn't matter whether or get on it or not can SIGNIFICANTLY help.

If you do take a practice flight - find out whether you are comfortable with the window open or closed. This can make or break your flight if you aren't sure which one you are comfortable with. Having a window closed can make some feel trapped, while for others it can make them feel less like they are up in the sky. Having it open can get some room to breathe, but it can also make the height of the plane seem scary.

Make sure to tell a flight attendant about your fear before the plane takes off. Just in case, god forbid, you should have any kind of panic attack - a flight attendant can be more helpful if they know why you are freaking out before it happens. It can also be helpful to know that they are checking in on you every once in awhile.

Do NOT sit in an EXIT aisle. I know it might seem like a great option as the exit is - well, right there. But, this can pose MANY problems. Most importantly, if there is any kind of problem, the people in the Exit seats have to be prepared to help people on the plane exit. If you are afraid of flying, you will be in no condition to do this.

Test yourself out on whatever drug you are taking before you get on the plane. Sometimes drugs meant to make you calmer can actually exacerbate the fear.

Have a flight buddy. Even someone on this board. A flight buddy is someone that is at home, by a computer, checking on your flight status. Knowing that someone is checking to see that you take off and land alright can make you feel very secure - especially if you are flying alone.

If you are alone - let the person next to you that you have a fear. They might not care and stick to their own world the whole flight, but for all you know, they might be willing to be there for you through the whole thing. Kindness can come from the unlikeliest of people.

Wear comfortable clothing - nothing restrictive. Nothing that will make you feel claustrophobic or like you can't escape.

Bring comfort food. Your favorite candy bar, your favorite sandwich. During the biggest moments of turbulence, chocolate can be a life saver. You'll be on Cloud 9.... literally (ha ha ha)

Most importantly, make sure your family and your friends understand your fear. Make sure they know that although you know all the facts, you need their support more than anyone else's.

I would like to end this by saying I need to take my own advice. I'm going to Disney in January and I'm taking a 22 hour train ride. Personally, I don't fly often enough to get over my fear, and I don't want to ruin my next vacation by freaking out my whole family.

If you need anything else, please feel free to PM me anytime.

Good luck and happy flying!

 

[bethifoody]

She won't be alone... I'm flying from Detroit to Norfolk, & then we're flying down together from there. I'll hold her hand each and every step of the way as she needs me to.

Cindy, I'm so proud of you for facing your fear this way. You CAN do this. It will all be ok. Shall I bring a travel Scrabble game? Want to learn to knit? If there's anything at all that I can do to help you, just ask.

Hugs to you, my brave big sister! Together, we'll get through this!

 

[Elfstar]

I am another "used to be afraid to fly"! Although I LOVE road trips, I find that if I fly when I can get a good cheap fare, I can take more little trips since I don't need two days' driving time. I used to have a cocktail before getting on the plane; now I have Starbuck's because I like being awake and looking out the window. The anti-anxiety medication may be good for your first flight, to help you relax and enjoy it, and hopefully, you'll look forward to your next plane trip instead of dreading it! Have a great time!

 

[Katieinwonderland]

I'm terrified of flying too!

I bring a lot of things to distract me; books, DVD's, music on my I-pod etc. They all distract me to some extent, but none work totally.

I take a xanax as well - not a large enough dose to knock me out, but enough to relax me and allow me to think clearly. I can panic on flights, and sometimes a xanax just makes me stop before I panic and realise I'm perfectly safe.

I also tell an air steward when I get on the plane, as silly as that sounds. This has been amazing, even though I usually feel like an idiot doing it! On my way back from Hawaii with DH last year, I told an air steward, who told the pilot of the plane. He invited me to come sit in the cockpit with him as people were boarding! It was so much fun, he was so relaxed and calm, he told me how many flights he'd done and how he loved to fly. It made me feel great! Then, halfway through the flight, there was a little turbulence and he sent an air steward back to check on me! I have never felt so safe!

 

[Swimmergirl]

Can I join the "afriad to fly club?" I absolutely hate flying. Ironically I am married to a pilot! He keeps me calm when we fly by telling me how much safer it really is than driving, how much training the pilots have, what all the strange noises are, etc. Logically I know these things, but in the moment it's hard to remember! I tend to pray a lot while we fly! Good luck and remember that a wonderful vacation awaits you at the end of your trip!

 

[Cruella 66]

Boy, what I wouldn't do for a pilot to be next to me! Just for the ride and reassurance! I watch the stewardesses though. If they are up and serving and joking, all has to be okay, right???