Help me understand

[snowywhite89]

OP, I think I've read some of the posts you've read and understand what you trying to say but I think it depends on each family's situation.

I'm a single mom and I've been wrapping gifts for myself ever since my DD was 2 1/2 and old enough to notice and be upset that my Christmas stocking was empty. No, I don't wrap old items but I have wrapped a book that I already had but hadn't read yet and/or bought myself something I was going to buy anyway and wrapped it so that my DD wouldn't be sad that I didn't have any gifts.

If my DD hadn't noticed that I wasn't getting any gifts, I might not have done this but since it bothered her that I didn't have presents (and I really didn't want to spend extra money on stuff I didn't need/want), I didn't have a problem with wrapping up something I already had.

HTH,
Helen

PS - this will be the first year that my DD is buying/making me a present on her own. I have no idea what it is and I can't wait to find out!

It is very difficult for single parents. For this reason when my GF got divorced, I would take her kids shopping to get her a gift from them. They would come to my house to wrap it. It was so nice to see the excitement in their face when they talked about how much their Mom would love their gift.

It taught them how to treat others since their Dad was a horrible example. It also taught them the joy one can get in giving not just in receiving.

 

[lori123]

Not sure I have a good reason why others do it - but I do think it is one way that we can show kids that the world doesn't revolve around them - and that Christmas is about a celebration for everyone. That said, I know there are many ways to show kids this same lesson

 

[Kathi OD]

I understand the meaning of gift giving and no, I don't think Christmas is just for kids.
I don't get wrapping up stuff you already own just so your kids see you open up something. If no gift was bought or made, for whatever reason, nothing was opened and it wasn't a big deal. Once the kids were in school during those lean years, we had their wonderful hand crafted gifts to open and they were plenty.

The last couple of years I've noticed on this board and others, parents being worried because they and/or their spouse had nothing (or not a lot) to open up in front of their kids. I don't remember that ever being a worry for us.
I just remember being worried about getting the kids something they really wanted.

Ohhh...well that is totally different from what I thought you were saying.

Yeah, wrapping stuff up to fool your kids is nuts. While we've always tried to get something (one thing), there were a few years when there wasn't anything, we just didn't have the money. The slippers I loved were a gift I received after those lean years.

 

[zoemurr]

make tons of stuff for us and have since they were little.

The tradition in our house is that Santa fills the kid's stockings and the kids fill Mom and Dads.

They spend weeks coloring pictures, making puzzles, stringing beads.. whatever.. to make sure we have a stocking full.

It's fun to see the different stuff they come up with every year.

My mom was a single mom and I always did this for her.

She also gave her best friend $20 every year and she took me to the Hallmark store so I could buy a few things for her. (Of course I didn't know it was her $ until years later.)

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I think there are 2 schools of thought, neither of which is better or worse than the other.

We wrap gifts b/c it is all about the suspense and wondering of what is inside the package. For us, it is an annual excersise in patience as the kids can't just go to town--we take turns opening gifts and they acknowledge who gave them the gift. I balked at first at this method of opening gifts when I went to dh's family the first time. Especially when his family likes to buy lots of little things instead of one big thing to make it a very painstaking process.

In any case--I think the whole gift exchange thing is kind of silly for starters. You buy me $25 gift, I buy you $25 gift...I don't get it.

But since it is in general a custom of our culture--I'm wrapping the dang gifts.

My kids love wrapping the gifts and they use our money to give gifts to us.

It's all about the excitement of wondering what is in the wrapper.

 

[luvmy3]

the only thread i have seen where someone mentioned wrapping something that was already owned up was the one about the pregnant diser on bedrest. i think her kids believe that santa does bring gifts to the parents so that was a suggestion on what to do since the op wouldn't be able to shop, or didn't have a budget this year to include gifts for herself and her dh. in those situations i don't see anything weird about it, they are just trying to keep the magic alive for their kids. personally, i've never been bothered by what traditions other families have, i think its nice that they have them, whatever they may be.


sorry about all lowercase, i am shoving the itty bitty chips into the ranch dip and my left hand is a mess

 

[BeccaGrace]

DH and I actually have wrapped things we already own to open on Christmas Like a previous poster, our kids were very upset one year that Mommy and Daddy had nothing to open. Our Christmas club covers the girls' gifts and gifts for family...if there is nothing left over to get us stuff, we wrap things that the kids would never notice we already have. It may sound silly but the kids are happy that we received presents and we didn't need to spend extra money we don't have on items we don't need. We do get ourselves practical stocking stuffers and smaller items also...i.e. cleaning supplies, toiletries, food -- I just put practical items I get food shopping and wrap them. DH and I usually get a good laugh about it and I don't feel bad about spending the money because its on things we would be buying already.

 

[disykat]

While we've never wrapped anything we already owned, we have definitely exchanged presents just as a show for the kids. We felt it was important for them to see us exchange gifts.

We are not very "into" gift giving, in fact DH and I pretty much have a standing no Christmas gift agreement. However, when the kids were at an age where they were focused on the gift part, we joined in because we felt it was important for the kids to see and understand that Christmas is not just about gifts magically appearing, it's about giving to and receiving from the people you love.

 

[4HOLIDAYS]

My parents, aunts, grandparnts..all got gifts. We still all do, both my family and DH family. My boys from a young age would go out and pick something out for either one or the other and they always talk about what would be a good,well suited gift for the family member. It has never been about the cost, just to show that they are important enough for us to make a thoughtful jesture.

 

[tink2dw]

My Mother died when I was 14. So, when I got married and was so very in love with my DH[I still am, but you know what I mean!!] I wanted to share all my favorite traditions with him from Christmas, to birthdays, to Easter, to the 4th of July, to our anniversary. I did Easter baskets for the two of us, favorite picinic foods, Created Christmas traditions. Dh had had very little in special moments as a kid.

We were married 5 years before we were Blessed with Dd. So, by then we had figured out how we liked to spend our holidays. And we could pass on those traditions to her! One being that as long as you BELIEVE Stanta will bring you presents no matter your age!!

I would always budget out our christmas money starting in sept.

But this year will be our slimmest ever. And wierdest having moved from the north to the south, no snow, hot weather, red mountians instead of green and white.

We went to Walmart for 1 item each and then to the Dollar Store for 2 items each. Then for the stockings, Walgreen had .49 cent hersey bars I got 6 of those. And I'll wrap it all up in pretty paper and ribbons and saved bows and Disney Bags with favorite charaters on them, and put them under the 4ft fiber optic tree. It will be one of the best Christmas's because it will remind us of the traditions and of being together. And loving each other and what christmas is really all about!!

 

[DisneyAndRedSox]

Wanna hear someting crazy... My MIL takes the grandkids out shopping and they each pick out their own gifts. Then the older kids have to wrap their own gifts (MIL can't wrap), so MIL can then watch them unwrap the gifts when we get together. She does the same for birthdays.

This year my DD is 5 so she took her out shopping, so no surprises this year when she unwraps her gifts from Grandma. She works at a big box store with a big bullseye on the front, I would have gladly given her a list or met her after work so DD could have some surprise gifts. Nope- MIL wanted her to pick out the gifts and said "maybe she will forget what she is getting." Um, I don't think so! I wonder at what age DD will be wrapping her own gifts, right now it is being done by my 13 yo niece!

 

[quentina]

We don't do adult gifts either however; we do wrap the kids gifts.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I can't imagine not having gifts to unwrap at Christmas.

When I was little Santa brought one, usually large/expensive, gift that was unwrapped. The rest (except our stockings) were wrapped and came from my mom (parents were divorced). DH's family did it the same way.

That's how it is at our home now, too. The kids get their presents on Christmas day (except for one which is always new pajamas and a book - they open that on Christmas eve - yes, it's wrapped). Santa leaves one and the rest are from us and wrapped and put under the tree.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Oh, and DH and I do not give eachother gifts, but we do give to our parents and they give to us. All wrapped, of course.

 

[ski_mom]

Wanna hear someting crazy... My MIL takes the grandkids out shopping and they each pick out their own gifts. Then the older kids have to wrap their own gifts (MIL can't wrap), so MIL can then watch them unwrap the gifts when we get together. She does the same for birthdays.

This year my DD is 5 so she took her out shopping, so no surprises this year when she unwraps her gifts from Grandma. She works at a big box store with a big bullseye on the front, I would have gladly given her a list or met her after work so DD could have some surprise gifts. Nope- MIL wanted her to pick out the gifts and said "maybe she will forget what she is getting." Um, I don't think so! I wonder at what age DD will be wrapping her own gifts, right now it is being done by my 13 yo niece!

My MIL basically does the same thing - only not for birthdays. In DH's house, Christmas has always been a BIG deal. They really didn't get much throughout the years and then had lots of gifts for Christmas. He has 2 sisters, so between us and them there are 10 grandkids and now 3 great-grandkids. She plans on everyone having about 8 or so wrapped gifts, but like your MIL, she takes them shopping and they pick their own things. She does wrap them herself, but the whole night, everyone is unwrapping things that they already know about.

She also buys herself the same amount of gifts to unwrap, so she is also unwrapping her own gifts that she buys herself. I can kind of understand doing this when the family wasn't so big, but now, we literally spend about 5 hours unwrapping gifts because we start with the youngest and each person takes their turn unwrapping a gift and go around until everyone is done. The worst part is that the kids are all expected to stay in there for the entire evening. I get bored, let alone the kids.

 

[PrincessDreams2]

OP, I think I've read some of the posts you've read and understand what you trying to say but I think it depends on each family's situation.

I'm a single mom and I've been wrapping gifts for myself ever since my DD was 2 1/2 and old enough to notice and be upset that my Christmas stocking was empty. No, I don't wrap old items but I have wrapped a book that I already had but hadn't read yet and/or bought myself something I was going to buy anyway and wrapped it so that my DD wouldn't be sad that I didn't have any gifts.

If my DD hadn't noticed that I wasn't getting any gifts, I might not have done this but since it bothered her that I didn't have presents (and I really didn't want to spend extra money on stuff I didn't need/want), I didn't have a problem with wrapping up something I already had.

HTH,
Helen

PS - this will be the first year that my DD is buying/making me a present on her own. I have no idea what it is and I can't wait to find out!

It is nice to hear someone else with the same story! I am a single mom, also. I have done the same exact thing for myself ever since the one Christmas where my DD6 was upset that my stocking was empty, too. "Santa forgot you, Mommy!!" Yes, I buy little treats for myself and wrap them up. DD6 believes, and I want her to for as long as possible.

 

[hkp1042]

In our family I always buy for DH and he buys for me. My parents were the same way my mom still buys gifts for my dad and he for her. Everybody gets gifts.

 

[eeyorethegreat]

It is nice to hear someone else with the same story! I am a single mom, also. I have done the same exact thing for myself ever since the one Christmas where my DD6 was upset that my stocking was empty, too. "Santa forgot you, Mommy!!" Yes, I buy little treats for myself and wrap them up. DD6 believes, and I want her to for as long as possible.

It sounds like you have very sweet children! Do you still hang stockings for yourselves? Maybe you could get some paper and crayons and ask your child to draw you some pictures for you stocking just say that you "talked to Santa" and decided that more than anything that is what you want in your stocking. Santa agreed because he knows how important it is to you. I bet you kids would have great fun drawing and creatind somethng special just for you and will be so excited and proud for you to reveal what is in your stocking! That way you get something that will truly be precious in your stocking and you don't have to pretend to be excited about things you put in there yourself.

 

[Sadie22]

Before we had children we gave each other small gifts but I think that stopped when the kids came along.

My parents used to give each other new underwear for Christmas. He would keep his under the tree, too!

 

[Lucky4me]

It is nice to hear someone else with the same story! I am a single mom, also. I have done the same exact thing for myself ever since the one Christmas where my DD6 was upset that my stocking was empty, too. "Santa forgot you, Mommy!!" Yes, I buy little treats for myself and wrap them up. DD6 believes, and I want her to for as long as possible.

Now that makes sense.
But here, Santa didn't bring gifts for the grownups. If we ever got anything, it was from each other or from the kids. I just talked to dh about this and he said yes, he thought it was weird we didn't buy lots of gifts for ourselves to put 'from Santa' under the tree. That he and his ex wife always did that.
So funny, he's never mentioned that to me in 16 years of living together....you'd think it would be something he'd mention.. talk about communication problems. He is pretty cheap. Maybe he was quietly thanking his lucky stars he didn't have to spend any more $$$ than he already had...

The nice thing about having adult kids now, are the gifts for me under the tree!
I've never asked or told them they need to buy gifts for me, but they go out of their way to give me nice things I want and need. My daughter told me it's to make up for all those Christmases I didn't get anything and they hit pay dirt. Awwww....

Sadie, I still give my kids socks and underwear. It was originally just to make it look like more under the tree, but after 25 years, now a tradition and they expect it. I usually buy the boys funny boxers and they always look forward to seeing what cartoon they got. So weird, but I can't stop now.
They also still expect their stockings to be filled every year. My "kids" are 29,28,24 and 15. Every year I say it's the last year and it never is. I guess I'll be doing it until I really can't.