Help me to make things even, please!

[lolobug]

Hello!
Our last (and first) trip to WDW was for my oldest daughter's birthday, January 2014. At that time, my youngest daughter was only 2.5 and unable to participate in a makeover at BBB. My oldest was surprised by cinderella with a beautiful new dress for her birthday, a ressie for BBB and dinner at the castle (dinner for her and her sister). Now my girls will be 4 and 7 and I want to make this trip special for DD4. With that being said, DD7 is very much into the magic and wants to celebrate, too. Here's what I'm thinking...
DD4 will receive a special dress from Rapunzel, her favorite princess with an invitation for her and her sister for BBB and CRT. What do I do about DD7, does she get a new dress? Does she save up her birthday $$ for a dress of her own? Is there any way that I can sprinkle a little extra pixie dust on DD4 or do I just not worry about it and do the same for both?

 

[LynnTH]

I think you are worrying too much about it. Everything is not going to be equal at all times with your kids but in the end it all works out. I don't think your DD4 will think twice about DD7 getting a dress also. She will just be excited that she is now old enough to do this. I would do it for both of them.

 

[ELSA711]

Yes DD7 deserves a dress too! DD4 probably doesn't remember the other visit

 

[lolobug]

I think you are worrying too much about it. Everything is not going to be equal at all times with your kids but in the end it all works out. I don't think your DD4 will think twice about DD7 getting a dress also. She will just be excited that she is now old enough to do this. I would do it for both of them.

You are probably right. I worry because I felt so bad that DD4 missed out on it the first time. If I don't make a deal of it, I'm sure they won't either. Thanks!

 

[lolobug]

Yes DD7 deserves a dress too! DD4 probably doesn't remember the other visit

I'm sure you are right, I'm probable over thinking this!

 

[kamik86]

I agree you are probably overthinking it. As the youngest by far in the family little things like this that my siblings got were never a problem... Now big ones they might realize later (My parents took my older sisters on a bunch of really cool vacations and stopped going on vacations by the time I was around for example. I know that I got other things my sisters didn't - they paid much more of my college then they did the older kids for example) but a part of me does wish I had those memories.... but the changes that your older one would be upset over not getting something then is much bigger then the changes that your 4 year old will remember not getting one years ago.

 

[crisi]

Eventually, your oldest will be "too old" for Princesses and BBB, and your youngest will get her special princess day while your oldest does roller coasters

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I say make it extra special for the birthday girl. I think the birthday kid should always get a little extra magic. The non birthday kids have to learn that sometimes other people get to have a special moment.

 

[ELSA711]

I say make it extra special for the birthday girl. I think the birthday kid should always get a little extra magic. The non birthday kids have to learn that sometimes other people get to have a special moment.

My answer may be different but I didn't know it was DD4s birthday.
I still think DD7 deserves a dress at least. They are only little princesses for a short time

 

[disneywithbaby]

I may be against the grain, but being the younger sister myself, it's been over 30 years since I went to wdw with my family. Both my sister and brother got extra stuff that I did not, and I was 3yo and honestly still remember my "heart break" type moments at wdw. I am sure that over the years my parents tried to even things out or my siblings probably got the shaft at other points...My answer I guess is they both should be getting a dress and having the fun experience but what I might do is have one go with mom and one with dad after BBB and separate and each do something that will be meaningful to the individual girl. I know my DD would jump at the chance to do some one on one with DD after BBB.

 

[BLAZEY]

I am going to say no, older DD doesn't need a new dress. Did young DD get a new dress last trip for her older sister's birthday even if she didn't do BBB? Have older DD bring her dress from home. If you have pictures from the last trip and younger DD didn't get extra while celebrating during the other trip. Maybe have older dd help plan the birthday celebrations? Both girls are doing the BBB? are you buy the dress at the BBB or bringing it from home? The non birthday girl can let birthday girl have her chance in the spotlight just as she had last trip. Age 7 is definitely old enough to understand that.

 

[SmallWorld71]

When they are little, it always seems like the older one gets more. Eventually, they grow and that changes. DD12 is attending dance camp, band camp and having all sorts of fun this summer while her older brothers are working their tails off. (DS19 as a barback at the local yacht club and DS16 is working in a scout camp kitchen)

You'll go mad if you spend their lives trying to keep things even. Though the chance is pretty good that when the 4 year old is 7, you'll still be buying her princess dresses while the then 10 year old may have moved on to something else.

Let them both get the dresses. Every 4 year old I know won't care if someone else gets a dress as long as they got one too.

I didn't see you mention that it was the 4 year olds birthday. If it is, get her a birthday button to wear. She'll get comments all day long that will make her feel special.

 

[lolobug]

My answer may be different but I didn't know it was DD4s birthday.
I still think DD7 deserves a dress at least. They are only little princesses for a short time

It's not DD4s birthday, it was the older DDs birthday when she got the special treatment I love the idea of special one on one time with each of the girls. I want Dd7 to experience the magic of the princess' delivering her a dress, too. She's getting so big and it won't be long until that fades. However, I'd still like to do something special for DD4. Hmmm

 

[Mousemommy1]

I would get both of the girls dresses. No question.

We always have a huge issue with our girls "keeping track of who got what" and we always tell them it all evens out and to stop keeping score!! We definitely wouldn't do anything to promote the keeping track i.e "you got a dress last time so sister gets it this time".

Gosh, our poor son...he is 6 months old and has only been to Disney once (twice of you count when I was pregnant with him) and our girls are always telling him "we've been 7 times....." The poor little guy doesn't stand a chance, lol

 

[lolobug]

I would get both of the girls dresses. No question.

We always have a huge issue with our girls "keeping track of who got what" and we always tell them it all evens out and to stop keeping score!! We definitely wouldn't do anything to promote the keeping track i.e "you got a dress last time so sister gets it this time".

Gosh, our poor son...he is 6 months old and has only been to Disney once (twice of you count when I was pregnant with him) and our girls are always telling him "we've been 7 times....." The poor little guy doesn't stand a chance, lol

Yes, yes, yes! You are right, I absolutely will not promote the "keeping score" mindset. It's settled, I agree, it all evens out in the end. Thank you!

 

[Thing 1]

Absolutely treat them the same, You can't always be even, but you can be fair. Two princesses celebrating a special day....how wonderful. I have a 23 year old and a 8 year.....now that is tough. DS23 got a apple watch for collage graduation, little guy was not happy. Until recently we spent way more on older one for most things, just because what he wanted cost a lot more and no way was I buying extra stuff just to even out money. Things are starting to shift with older one more on his own and in the end, Im sure it will be fair, if not perfectly even.

 

[ELSA711]

It's not DD4s birthday, it was the older DDs birthday when she got the special treatment I love the idea of special one on one time with each of the girls. I want Dd7 to experience the magic of the princess' delivering her a dress, too. She's getting so big and it won't be long until that fades. However, I'd still like to do something special for DD4. Hmmm

Maybe DD4 can go to BBB

 

[Nancyg56]

I would get both of the girls dresses. No question.

We always have a huge issue with our girls "keeping track of who got what" and we always tell them it all evens out and to stop keeping score!! We definitely wouldn't do anything to promote the keeping track i.e "you got a dress last time so sister gets it this time".

Gosh, our poor son...he is 6 months old and has only been to Disney once (twice of you count when I was pregnant with him) and our girls are always telling him "we've been 7 times....." The poor little guy doesn't stand a chance, lol

Me too. I have never worried about making things even for my now adult children. Their father's family did that and they kept score all throughout their lives. My own mother never did that and neither did I. I always did what made sense at the time, so in your case i would treat both girls to their dresses and appointments. They are little and they are on vacation, so I would not leave one out in order to make up for that visit when the little one was too young.

It's funny, my youngest is 36 now, and I remember when he first brought home our new DDIL. We had been shopping and I saw something I thought my DD would like so I bought it. She advised me that I had two sons. Really? LOL!!!! WE had a chat about how things roll in our family, and that it is always better not to compare notes, especially if you are comparing when Mo and Dad "help" out one member or another. I told her the best thing to happen was to pray you were not the one who needed help, and that in the event you were, be glad we did not have an "even Steven" mentality. Well that was 12 years ago and we have welcomed another DDIL into the family, and she too discovered that Mom never counts anything, and the family is good with that. No bickering over who got what, and no hard feelings because in the end, it all seems to works out.

 

[mkraw74]

I think they should both get a dress. Make a big deal out of how they are both big girls now and can be princesses together. If the 4yr ever questions why she didn't get to do ut before (which I highly doubt) you just explain she wasn't old enough. If it wouldn't upset the 7 yr old, maybe BBB does something for 1st timers or get your youngest an I'm Celebrating pin (ie celebrating 1st BBB). If you lookup cake chatter on this site,you can see about ordering a special cake for your CRT dinner.

 

[scrapquitler]

Hello!
Our last (and first) trip to WDW was for my oldest daughter's birthday, January 2014. At that time, my youngest daughter was only 2.5 and unable to participate in a makeover at BBB. My oldest was surprised by cinderella with a beautiful new dress for her birthday, a ressie for BBB and dinner at the castle (dinner for her and her sister). Now my girls will be 4 and 7 and I want to make this trip special for DD4. With that being said, DD7 is very much into the magic and wants to celebrate, too. Here's what I'm thinking...
DD4 will receive a special dress from Rapunzel, her favorite princess with an invitation for her and her sister for BBB and CRT. What do I do about DD7, does she get a new dress? Does she save up her birthday $$ for a dress of her own? Is there any way that I can sprinkle a little extra pixie dust on DD4 or do I just not worry about it and do the same for both?

I think that both girls should get new dresses. You can't always make things even, and you shouldn't try to iron out the past. When you went last time, your younger daughter wasn't eligible for BBB, so it wasn't like you were being unfair then, and she probably barely remembers it. What you SHOULD be fair about is the here and now, which means getting dresses for both of them. Imagine being the 7 year old, and seeing your sister get a new dress and you can't because you got one two years ago? If the expense of two new dresses is an issue, buy them before the trip and bring them with you instead of purchasing them at BBB.