Help me get excited

[4fordisneyworld]

We leave in 22 days for BLT and Kidani. It will be myself and my two sweet princesses along with my brother and his family. So 8 of us all together and we have a 2BR at both resorts.
We have had another stressful year and this will be our 4th trip back since we lost my husband in 2008. I was so anxious to get my girls back as soon as possible so we could continue with his dreams of raising our girls going to Disneyworld. I thought it would get easier each time we go back but it just seems to be harder. Especially this time of year because he always wanted to see Disney at Christmas but never got that chance.
I know once we are there it will be a bit easier but the planning and packing is almost too much to think of right now. I hope this does not come across as being ungrateful....I am so thankful I can take the girls back. I truly am....just missing him and wishing he were here and watching them grow to love Disney the way we did together.
Any ideas to get more motivated and find the positive in this upcoming trip??

Missing my Disney Prince tonight

 

[ddoconnell]

What a wonderful thing you are doing keeping this going for your Princesses! I cannot imagine what it is like to do this on your own....but what an example of strength you are setting for your girls. Not to mention the wonderful happy memories for all of you. I will be praying for you, I know this will be hard, but you can get thru it! Good luck and have a great trip!

 

[lisaviolet]

We leave in 22 days for BLT and Kidani. It will be myself and my two sweet princesses along with my brother and his family. So 8 of us all together and we have a 2BR at both resorts.
We have had another stressful year and this will be our 4th trip back since we lost my husband in 2008. I was so anxious to get my girls back as soon as possible so we could continue with his dreams of raising our girls going to Disneyworld. I thought it would get easier each time we go back but it just seems to be harder. Especially this time of year because he always wanted to see Disney at Christmas but never got that chance.
I know once we are there it will be a bit easier but the planning and packing is almost too much to think of right now. I hope this does not come across as being ungrateful....I am so thankful I can take the girls back. I truly am....just missing him and wishing he were here and watching them grow to love Disney the way we did together.
Any ideas to get more motivated and find the positive in this upcoming trip??
Missing my Disney Prince tonight

Ungrateful? What? to you all. I'm so sorry for your loss.

First - you should very proud of yourself. So proud. Really. It must be so incredibly difficult. I can't imagine the memories flowing for you every single day.

Here's what I do to lessen that blow to the stomach pain for a minute and remember that he/she wants the very best for me/us. (Please know I have never walked in your shoes but I'm sharing this with hopes that it makes a difference for those agonizing moments)

I play this card when the emotions get overwhelming with missing someone so badly. The sighing guilt card. I play the "he/she would be beyond LIVID looking down - LIVID and extremely mouthy (for some of the ones I've lost) seeing you/us suffer". I actually imagine their reaction - for some swear words and all. To me it squashes the intense pain for the moment and makes me and hopefully suffering loved ones have a break and a smile at the thought.

Love to all of you. Really.

Have a great trip.

 

[joandegennaro]

Each and everytime you visit WDW he will be with you and your girls. A loss of a loved one is difficult everyday but more so during times of special events like the holidays. I understand how you are missing him. I lost my daughter14 years ago and think about her everyday. Know that the pain will lessen with time but the memories will remain in you heart and mind forever.

Sending you and your girls my thoughts and prayers.

 

[lisaviolet]

Each and everytime you visit WDW he will be with you and your girls. A loss of a loved one is difficult everyday but more so during times of special events like the holidays. I understand how you are missing him. I lost my daughter14 years ago and think about her everyday. Know that the pain will lessen with time but the memories will remain in you heart and mind forever.

Sending you and your girls my thoughts and prayers.

I'm so incredibly sorry Joan.

 

[ToddyLu]

I would imagine there is peace, knowing you are doing what he wanted with his little girls. Our first trip back without my FIL was difficult, lots of triggers....but this is what your DH wanted....you guys to call that your happy place when and where you knew you loved each other and were happy as a family. I think I might would include a picture of him there (if not too much and if you do not have one already) in a frame and take it with me for the trips. Not a large one just a small one for the night stand.

My MIL gave DH a picture of He and his brother escorting my FIL around DHS on our 2004 trip...our last with DFIL. They are both BIG guys and were wearing sunglasses that day, one on each side of DFIL riding his scooter...like the secret service. DH's brother has even got one of those reach/grabbing tools in his hand. It was a classic memory and so very funny. DH's Bday is July 4th and that was a very special gift for him. I do not think he had ever seen that pic and LOVED it. So many of our funny/happy memories are at WDW. When we lost DFIL 5 weeks after losing our homes in Katrina, DH and I still went on our annual Disney trip that December. It was hard but also joyful and part of helping us heal.

 

[4fordisneyworld]

Ty everyone for your replies The girls are getting pretty excited and started bringing me their clothes to pack today.
I truly appreciate the happy thoughts and well wishes for a great trip for us!

amanda

 

[joandegennaro]

Your daughter's excitement about this up coming trip might just be what you need to get you excited.

Since it was a wish of your husbands to visit WDW during the Holidays something you might consider doing this trip with Christmas on the way is get a special ornament in memory of your husband if it is not to painful. I did this for my daughter Emma. Every year I place that ornament (An angel sitting on a cresent moon) on our tree in her memory. This way she is always apart of our Christmas Holiday celebrations.

The Christmas Shoppe in Magic Kingdom is a great place to have one made with DH name put on.

 

[4fordisneyworld]

Your daughter's excitement about this up coming trip might just be what you need to get you excited.

Since it was a wish of your husbands to visit WDW during the Holidays something you might consider doing this trip with Christmas on the way is get a special ornament in memory of your husband if it is not to painful. I did this for my daughter Emma. Every year I place that ornament (An angel sitting on a cresent moon) on our tree in her memory. This way she is always apart of our Christmas Holiday celebrations.

The Christmas Shoppe in Magic Kingdom is a great place to have one made with DH name put on.

Ty for this idea! We always get a special ornament every year and this would be awesome to add to our collection. I have not been excited to buy our special ornaments since he died because he loved Christmas time so much and he became a kid The girls will love picking this out. I think it will be hard but I am learning that to truly grieve you have to face the hard things to still live ya know.
I have been on the boards for the last few days just reading anything and everything to get me in the spirit as well.

 

[princessbride6205]

Big hugs to you. My aunt and uncle are long-time DVC owners and lost their child a few years ago. They have continued to go on trips and cruises - it has been difficult but it's something they love doing and while it can be painful, it helps keep her close, remembering how much she loved Disney.

To help you feel more excited, perhaps pick out a must-do attraction or treat in each park that you love. There will be plenty of moments for the girls and to see things your DH would enjoy, but perhaps picking out some things that you love will help you be more excited about the trip.

 

[disneychic2]

Wow! My heart breaks for you. What strength and unselfishness you display for your girls! I know your DH angel is smiling down on you. I seriously don't know how you do it, let alone get excited about going. But the fact that you're trying leads me to believe you will succeed. Again, Wow! You are an inspiration. Prayers to you for a little special magic this year!

 

[Pixieflip]

Big hugs to you while you are walking through this hard pain. And I'm proud of you for facing it and taking them anyway and fulfilling his dream for them. You are making new memories and building a heritage of family time for them there.

I also cannot even begin to imagine it, so I hope these suggestions are helpful.

• Maybe make a countdown paper chain. Do you have any old Disney park maps? They make a great chain! Each princess can have her own and look forward to what ride or attraction she has pulled off the chain each day.
• Maybe have them tell you their "must do's" for each park. Keep a list and enjoy crossing them off.
• Do something special for the three of you. Have you ever done Afternoon Tea at the Grand Floridian? (Not the expensive one with the character, the regular one at the Garden View Lounge.) Very girly and and elegant and special, around $20 or less per person, less for kids. They have a Princess Blend of tea, we brought some home with us, too.

Watch your princesses faces a lot. Enjoy their joy. He will be so happy with that, too. It's probably okay to still be somewhat sad (who are we to say anyway), but if it gets to be too much, try to focus on them.

Again, I'm proud of you for taking them. Hope you can enjoy it, too!

 

[4fordisneyworld]

This is why I love the Disboards. Ty to each of you for a response. I have cried through them because I do not feel strong and at times even felt guilty for not wanting to take them.
The hardest part is everywhere you turn in Disney there is a memory that pops ups. At times I can handle that ......when my auto-pilot mode is functioning! But there are those times that catch you off guard like certain triggers that can include smells and other things along that line. Those are the times I feel like melting into a puddle and just crying without end. However I try to be so careful with that because the girls get really sad when I am upset and my oldest one ( she is 8 ) tries to become the adult to take care of me. I don't want her to feel that way. I do know they have to see me grieve....we have gone through a lot of that but I don't want to ruin their disney moments. We still don't really have pics of just the girls and I because the thought of a picture without him is nauseating.

Again....Ty for ideas and words of encouragement. I will update ya when we get back and let you know everything turned out.

amanda

 

[joandegennaro]

Amanda, each and every post in this thread makes me cry too. I'm sitting here reading yours above in tears...tears for the husband and father you lost, tears for the family memories that now are still tender to you and tears for the memories you and your girls will make without him this trip. I've been where you are as I have said. When my oldest was little and we lost Emma I told her that sometimes it makes mommy sad to remember. Its ok to be sad when a flash of memory hits you in the park, I think the girls will be sad at moments too. Just remember this is a legacey of Disney your husband wanted for your family and all of you are continuing it even though it might be painful you and your girls will get throught it. Make new happy memories knowing that he is with you all in spirt and in your hearts. One day the memories will you more joy than pain...you will get there it just takes some time.

 

[ercrbc]

I am so so sorry for your loss. I have a dear friend who lost her dad when she was 12 and her sister was 16. Her mom bought DVC sometime soon after and they started taking annual trips to OKW. 17 years later they all still go, now with their DHs and DDs too. They have such a strong family bond and still get excited about each trip together.

You are continuing what your DH wanted, and in doing so are starting a new phase of memories while strengthening the love ya'll share as family. I hope you have an incredible time, and that you each experience enough Disney Magic to bring you home excited to plan the next trip.

 

[Jaaron2]

Wow, a very touching storyAs a Disney Dad who has three sons I could only hope that my DW would do exactly as you are doing. I would hope that my wife would take that time and use it not to be sad but to remember all the WONDERFUL times and family moments that we spent together. I know I would want and desire for my family to find happiness (not sadness) in one of the places that brought us the most happiness together.

I hope and pray that you find peace during your next trip; and that you are able to use WDW as a place to remember, cry, smile and think fondly not only of the past memeories but the ones you are creating every day! I have been married for close to 17 years to the most amazing woman in the world, I hope and pray that if anything ever happened to me she would look back and smile and laugh at all the great times we had together......but also move forward... knowing I would want nothing more than for her and my kids to be happy.

 

[PEANUT1]

Beautiful tribute to your husband.
I would do the exact same thing if I was in your situation. You don't have to worry about getting excited, as you get closer your girls will help you get excited!! How about doing a countdown with a chain link or something like that to get in the mood..or head to the local disney store or have some disney princess movie nights.

 

[4fordisneyworld]

To be completely honest I had almost come to the conclusion that after this trip I would try and sale our DVC points. Your comments are making me think twice.
I told my story on the boards two years ago when he died so you may have seen it before but just thought I would share it again. We went to Disneyworld for the second time in April 2008 and the day after we got home my husband turned 31. Then three days later is when he died at home in our bed. So that is a huge part of why Disney has been so hard along with the memories of course. I found out that I was pg with our 3rd child 10 days after he died and then miscarried at the end of May. As if it was not already bad enough my oldest daughter went in for a routine T&A surgery and ended up in the PICU for a week that following November. She was basically gone and they revived her.....a complete God given miracle! There have been several other things that have attacked us since his death so I wanted to hold onto the one thing that made such happy memories.
We purchased our DVC on that last trip he made but I called and was still within my 10 days so I gave it up not knowing what we were facing at that point. Our first trip back ( that was very forced...knowing I would never go back if I did not do it soon ) was that December after he died. My family went with us to support and encourage us through it. I somehow ended up back in the DVC office and purchased again! Not even sure I ever wanted to go back at that point but felt he was telling me to continue for the girls!
I cannot even begin to tell you all the things that happened on that trip for my girls.....some arranged and some totally by chance!
So as you can see I do want to go and be happy for my girls but for him because I know what he wanted.
This is why I love people who love Disney.....they just understand why it is important to keep up with our plan So many others around me who don't get it have tried to tell me to quit putting ourselves through it. But I knew the true Disney lovers could encourage me to keep up with our plans
amanda

 

[Mom B]

 

[4fordisneyworld]

I am starting to get that excitement....slowly but surely! I am surprising my family with tickets to the MVMCP the night we arrive. It is like a gift from my husband in a way. Our electric company is owned by its customers. They have a capital credits program and when he died his credits go to me. I just found out that there is just enough to pay for our tickets! I think the family and especially his princesses are going to be thrilled!! My brother really wanted to go and I talked them out of several months ago due to the cost!
I hope they will be as excited as I think they will be!!

amanda