Help me explain this to my children...

[sbpuckett]

I'll condense the story as much as possible... we have 2 Dachsunds who are 10 and 12 years old. The first weekend of this month the 12 year old hurt his back and became partially paralyzed. Miraculously, after much treatment and such, he regained his movement rather quickly but was put on bed rest for 6 weeks. Just after the 3 week mark (last week) he hurt his neck and ruptured another disk. He has slowly deteriorated ever since and we can no longer manage his pain... it's evident that he's not going to get better and we can't stand to see him in so much pain.

So, here's my problem, my boys (6 & 8) understand that he is dieing but we are taking him to the vet this evening to relieve his pain. I know they're going to have questions... how do we explain this to them without looking like monsters??? This is our first time having to do anything like this but we know it's the right thing for our beloved dog... any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[clarabelle]

Aww
We have two dachshunds too. I am sorry.
I would tell them that when you love someone -sometimes the best thing you can do for them is to let them go. That you love the dog so much -that you are giving them this gift of being free from pain. That it is ok for them to be sad and they will feel better later.
Sometimes kids do better than we think they are going to.

 

[Poohbear123]

So sorry to hear about you Doxie, I have a female that went lame at 4 years of age...she is in a cart, and she is doing fine, will probably live another 10 years, we hope. We had a Boy Doxie a few years back, and at 6 went lame, we did the surgery, and than Accupucture, and he started to walk on his own 3 months later...he was our little miracle, and passed on at 16 years of age. You must tell your children, that like humans, animals can suffer too, and the best thing for them, is to ease thier suffering, even though you will miss them.... Best of luck to you, and Faith.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

I'm sorry.

We had to put our 13 y/o schnauzer to sleep last year. I couldn't bring myself to have that talk w/DS's (6 & 3 at the time). I feared the "what if someone puts me to sleep if I'm sick" questions. We chickened out and just told them the vet tried to help her but she was too old and sick and it was her time to go onto heaven.
We didn't feel like we needed to explain the fact that we had anything to do with it.

Like I said, it was the chicken way out, I just wasn't ready to go there w/them yet.

Best of luck w/your decision.

 

[sbpuckett]

I'm sorry.

We had to put our 13 y/o schnauzer to sleep last year. I couldn't bring myself to have that talk w/DS's (6 & 3 at the time). I feared the "what if someone puts me to sleep if I'm sick" questions. We chickened out and just told them the vet tried to help her but she was too old and sick and it was her time to go onto heaven.
We didn't feel like we needed to explain the fact that we had anything to do with it.

Like I said, it was the chicken way out, I just wasn't ready to go there w/them yet.

Best of luck w/your decision.

I've considered this but want to give them a chance to say goodbye.

 

[Jockaroo]

Please know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight. May your sweet doxie have a gentle passing. I lost my beloved Scottie last month and it is so hard.

I'm not sure what to tell you to do about your children, but using the term "put to sleep" could scare them at this age or make the child think the pet will wake up--or that they may fear falling asleep. You might ask your vet if he/she has any resources for children dealing with a pet death. I did a quick google and found these resources you might want to check.

http://vetmedicine.about.com/od/lossandgrief/a/PetLossAndKids.htm

http://www.paws2heaven.com/grieving_a_pet.htm

http://vetmed.illinois.edu/petcolumns/showarticle.cfm?id=112

If your children were very close to your dog, maybe you could ask them to write a card or draw a picture of the dog. Work as a family to make a memory book or memory box to let them know how important the dog was to the family. I don't know if you are thinking of doing a home burial or not, but regardless, you could maybe let the children paint a memory stone for the dog and make plans to do a memorial garden if you own your home. Please know that this is a hard decision to make and will be hard on the whole family--adults, children and your other doxie. Everyone will grieve, but differently. May you find peace as you release your precious baby's spirit from his broken body. I am so sorry you are facing this.

 

[cigarboo]

I've very sorry to read about your little dachsund is in pain. It's so horrible to see them suffer. 2 years ago, our 9yo shepherd mix stopped eating and was ultimately found to have lymphoma with a baseball size tumor in his chest. We kept him on pain meds, steroids and anti-ametics for comfort, but we knew that he was dying. We were crying everyday, but we knew at some point, we would have to put him down to end his suffering.

I prepared the kids(then 6 & 4) by talking about his illness and the fact that he was going to die because the disease was too strong. The kids understood he was very, very sick. I told them early on that we may have to take him to the vet who will help him die. We were going to the vet twice a day for injections. After a couple of weeks we finally accepted the reality that he was staying alive because of us. We knew we had to let him go. It was not fair to keep him suffering. I debated what to tell the kids. In the end, I asked my older son if he would like to come with us. I did not want to have to make up a story of what happened to our dog. I also did not want him to think the vet "killed" the dog. I knew that his imagination would be way worse than what it really was like.

So in the end, the whole family took our beloved dog to the vet. The kids were in the exam room sitting on the chairs and playing. Our dog was happy as can be, eating pork tenderloin. The vet gave him a sedative and he didn't even notice. When it was time, we just held him and did what we had to do. It was very peaceful. The children did great. They were able to see for themselves what happened. No blood, no drama. We then brought his body home for our other dog to sniff, so he could have closure also. My son wrote a story that we had "published" into a book about his experience. I gave him lots of opportunities to talk about what had happened. He's got a great understanding of the situation, the sadness and the reasoning. Looking back, I'm very happy with how we handled things. There was nothing to hide and they didn't require sugar coating of anything. After 2 years, we just got my son his own dog.

Good luck to you. The kids will probably do better than you think. In my case, I was the one who was most distraught.

 

[Soarin08]

I am so sorry to hear about your Doxie. I also pray you will find the right way to tell your children what has happened.