Help me decide about getting a new puppy after losing our dog....

[BC]

A little background....we have always had dachshunds and have not been without one our entire adult life until 2 years ago. We lost our beloved Heidi the day after Christmas in 2008 and still miss her like it was yesterday. Previous to that in 2005 we lost her "brother" to cancer, but still had her which helped deal with the loss of him. Heidi, being a dachshund, had the classic back problems and had surgery in 2005, which she recovered from nicely. However, she had another disc blow the morning after Christmas and did not make it to surgery. On top of her back problems, we also dealt with a tumor on her foot, her stomach flipped, she had her spleen removed and other issues. It seemed like anything that could happen to her, did.

Here's my question....we are truly dealing with a void in our life without a dog, but we went through so much medically with them both that the thought of going through it again makes us hesitant. We loved them so and never hesitated no matter the cost to do whatever needed to be done for them. The cost is not what we are hesitant about, it is the stress that we dealt with when they were so sick.

We are talking with a breeder about getting another one, but I am having these feelings of hesitation that are a concern to me. Anyone else feel this after losing their pet when they considered getting another one? Your thoughts are appreciated.

 

[Jason@dvcstore]

Here's my question....we are truly dealing with a void in our life without a dog, but we went through so much medically with them both that the thought of going through it again makes us hesitant. We loved them so and never hesitated no matter the cost to do whatever needed to be done for them. The cost is not what we are hesitant about, it is the stress that we dealt with when they were so sick.

We are talking with a breeder about getting another one, but I am having these feelings of hesitation that are a concern to me. Anyone else feel this after losing their pet when they considered getting another one? Your thoughts are appreciated.

Our family has two 10 year old pugs. One black and one fawn and they are both still alive but I think I understand. This part especially "but we went through so much medically with them both that the thought of going through it again makes us hesitant. We loved them so and never hesitated no matter the cost to do whatever needed to be done for them. The cost is not what we are hesitant about, it is the stress that we dealt with when they were so sick."

I have already asked my wife that I think I want to go 5 years without having a dog once they time comes that they both have passed on. My wife doesn't think she can go anytime without a dog but she is still thinking about it. Anyway I understand as is a tough decision. I hope it all works out for you.

Jason

 

[simba928]

I work at a shelter and have grown up with dogs. We've always had atleast one dog around from the time I was 2. We now have 3 dogs and 2 cats. When I was 4 I got a kitten and she was my best friend growing up. We were inseparable. When she got ok'd, she was diagnosed with renal failure. It was ALOT dealing with that and she was in really bad shape towards the end. Losing her was tough so I know what you're going through.

This is a decision you have to make on your own, though. To me, all the risks of health issues and the stress and inconveniences put on us as "pet parents" (and let's face it, having animals is very inconvenient) are so worth going through. The unconditional love and companionship they give us makes up for all the bad stuff for me. You just have to decide if it's worth it to you.

 

[JimR24]

My wife and I had a Samoyed (Sasha) before we were married and she was like our first child when we got married. She was the best dog we ever owned. She passes away from cancer when she was 11. Hardest thing I ever had to do was drive her to be put down. I took us a little while to get another dog but I felt I needed something at home because I travel for work.

I talked my wife into a black lab (Belle). She is awesome but my wife had issues with her in the beginning because it might have been too soon (a few months after Sasha left us). I probably didn't give her a chance to fully recover. We added a yellow lab about a year later (Chloe). Chloe has a ton of what we feel is Sasha in her. Same almond shape eyes and talks like Sasha did. My wife now feels at ease with our family - 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 guinea pigs and a rescued kitten. Belle has turned into a great protector of the family. Her and my wife are couch sleeping buddies.

Chloe helped my wife a bunch. You have to feel right about getting another dog. I understands your reservations. No one is truly going to know the answer but you. Hopefully you find the answer you are looking for. Filling the void left by a pet is hard to do.

 

[HsvTeacher]

My DH and I got our first dog together right before we got married 12 years ago. When our Boxer started getting sick and putting him down was imminent, we said we wouldn't get another dog right away.

Well, we lasted a whole four days without a dog. In fact, we ended up adopting two puppies from our local shelter. Like I tell my DH, we didn't save those puppies, they saved us. We were still grieving over the loss of our Boxer, but having the puppies gave us something else to focus on.

 

[clh2]

I The unconditional love and companionship they give us makes up for all the bad stuff for me.

ITA

We lost our dog in early October, due to bone cancer. We are meeting a 6 year old lab from a rescue on Sunday. Sounds perfect on paper. And - we were able to talk to the foster mom yesterday. I'm in love with this dog. Hopefully she feels the same!

I do not think I could go 2 years without a furry friend.

 

[BC]

Thanks to all of you for your response. I agree with your statement about how the joy they bring us far outweighs the sad times. I keep telling myself that, but somehow still feel apprehensive. Another thing...I keep thinking if the new pup lives 10-15 years, I will be close to 70 when that happens and I wonder how well I could deal with it at that age, not to mention I may have health problems of my own by then. I know any aged person could also have health issues, but it is a concern. Sometimes I wonder if I am trying to talk myself out of it and if so, that must be a sign not to do it, but then again I am forever going online looking at puppies. Geez, this shouldn't be this difficult!

 

[christineann]

I waited for 2-3 years before adopting another dog after losing my two dogs to old age within a few months of each other. I was going through a divorce, and there was just too much craziness at the time. When I adopted my lab Jake from the shelter, I realized how much I missed having a dog and how much having a dog was good for us and for him/her. He died at a young age from cancer (it's still hard for me to grasp), and we decided to go ahead and adopt again a month or two later. It was the right thing to do for us and for these wonderful pups who needed homes. We have since added another big goofy lab from the shelter, and I just can't picture my home without at least one dog

 

[christineann]

BC, how about adopting an older dog? There are some wonderful, sweet older dogs at shelters and rescue organizations. My parents just lost their dog to old age, and as they are in their 80's, they didn't want to do the puppy stage again, so we found an adult dog at a shelter and brought him home a few weeks ago.

 

[clh2]

Thanks to all of you for your response. I agree with your statement about how the joy they bring us far outweighs the sad times. I keep telling myself that, but somehow still feel apprehensive. Another thing...I keep thinking if the new pup lives 10-15 years, I will be close to 70 when that happens and I wonder how well I could deal with it at that age, not to mention I may have health problems of my own by then. I know any aged person could also have health issues, but it is a concern. Sometimes I wonder if I am trying to talk myself out of it and if so, that must be a sign not to do it, but then again I am forever going online looking at puppies. Geez, this shouldn't be this difficult!

First - my parents adopted a shelter dog - a mutt (probably a beagle mix) from the Humane Society about 2 years ago. My parents are in their early 70's. Ruby is about 35 pounds, and was estimated to 8 - 10 years at the time they adopted. My parents specifically adopted an older dog - because they did not want a 10 -15 year commitement. If something happens to my parents, one of my sister's adores this dog - so my sister would take the dog.

My DH and I also like the older dog theory. Yes - you reach the point of difficult decisions quicker (it was 4 years for us, we got our dog when he was 8, and had him until he was 12.) However, our dog gave us unconditional love for 4 great years. That was his job... A new - albeit older dog will only take us out about 6-8 years, based on the life expectancy of a lab. This amount of time is perfect for us.

So - maybe you could look at rescuing an older dog, not a puppy.

 

[kacaju]

I lasted 2 weeks without a dog. Only because we were a week and a half away from our 4-H Fair when we lost our dog and I could not get a new dog at Fairtime. So being 5 months pregnant we went to the shelter the day after Fair and got our dog!!
Can you ask the breeder if she has any older pups or young adult dogs? Many times if you breeder also shows the dogs, they *grow out* a few pups to see who they will keep to show.
For example, my daughter helps our breeder train and show her pups. We have an 8 month old collie pup her eright now whose ears are not tipping right (collies have the semi prick ears) There is nothing wrong with this pup, but if her ears don't stay tipped she cannot be shown. In that case the breeder will have to sell her as a pet.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Thanks to all of you for your response. I agree with your statement about how the joy they bring us far outweighs the sad times. I keep telling myself that, but somehow still feel apprehensive. Another thing...I keep thinking if the new pup lives 10-15 years, I will be close to 70 when that happens and I wonder how well I could deal with it at that age, not to mention I may have health problems of my own by then. I know any aged person could also have health issues, but it is a concern. Sometimes I wonder if I am trying to talk myself out of it and if so, that must be a sign not to do it, but then again I am forever going online looking at puppies. Geez, this shouldn't be this difficult!

Don't beat yourself up if you are not ready. It is OK to either wait & move forward without dogs or be happy with new fur babies.

In the meantime make a firm decision and stop looking up puppies unless you are committed to getting one. That may help you clear your mind.

 

[BC]

I have absolutely thought about getting an older dog, but I guess knowing the senior years are the time they are apt to have more problems, I suppose that has been what has kept me from doing it. I know that sounds selfish, but please know I realize they need a home as much if not more than a puppy does as most of them have lost their owners due to death or going into assisted living or such and can't take them with them. It breaks my heart to read their stories.

There is also another reason we wanted a puppy. Heidi & Jake were "rescued" from a breeder that mistreated them and we had a horrible time the first year getting them to trust us or anything around them. He was 3 and she was 1 and they had never been socialized. She never ever really was able to completely come out of it. Don't get me wrong, she totally trusted us, but would run from strangers, would not leash walk or use the bathroom anywhere except home. We were never able to go away without it being a problem. We had always said our next would be a puppy that we could raise up to be socialized and raise her to enjoy the things we like to do from a very young age. I suppose I am concerned with having so many of the same problems we had with her by getting an older dog that you really don't know what they have been through. However, that being said, I know it is not the dogs fault and is even more reason they need a good home.

See how I keep going from one end of the spectrum to the other!!

 

[clh2]

Thanks to all of you for your response. I agree with your statement about how the joy they bring us far outweighs the sad times. I keep telling myself that, but somehow still feel apprehensive. Another thing...I keep thinking if the new pup lives 10-15 years, I will be close to 70 when that happens and I wonder how well I could deal with it at that age, not to mention I may have health problems of my own by then. I know any aged person could also have health issues, but it is a concern. Sometimes I wonder if I am trying to talk myself out of it and if so, that must be a sign not to do it, but then again I am forever going online looking at puppies. Geez, this shouldn't be this difficult!

First - my parents adopted a shelter dog - a mutt (probably a beagle mix) from the Humane Society about 2 years ago. My parents are in their early 70's. Ruby is about 35 pounds, and was estimated to 8 - 10 years at the time they adopted. My parents specifically adopted an older dog - because they did not want a 10 -15 year commitement. If something happens to my parents, one of my sister's adores this dog - so my sister would take the dog.

My DH and I also like the older dog theory. Yes - you reach the point of difficult decisions quicker (it was 4 years for us, we got our dog when he was 8, and had him until he was 12.) However, our dog gave us unconditional love for 4 great years. That was his job... A new - albeit older dog will only take us out about 6-8 years, based on the life expectancy of a lab. This amount of time is perfect for us.

So - maybe you could look at rescuing an older dog, not a puppy.

 

[BC]

CLH2...not sure how the previous got posted twice, but thanks for the response!

 

[robinb]

I suppose I am concerned with having so many of the same problems we had with her by getting an older dog that you really don't know what they have been through. However, that being said, I know it is not the dogs fault and is even more reason they need a good home.

I think you need to deal with a reputable breeder. It sounds like your previous dogs were ex-breeder dogs from a puppy mill. {{hugs}} to you for saving them! But, I think that many of your dog's problems were from being poorly bred . If you find a dog (puppy or adult) from a reputable breeder who breeds for making the breed better (NOT for profit or a "backyard breeder") you will have a better chance of getting a dog that won't be prone to bloat or the other problems your previous pups had. A puppy from such a breeder is not cheap, but you're likely to save money and heartache in the long run. If an adult is also acceptable, then you can also buy an adult from the same kind of breeder. It could be another dog previously bred or one that was kept back to show and couldn't finish a championship for one reason or another.

Good luck! It sounds like you have room in your heart for another pup .

 

[PollyannaMom]

...We are talking with a breeder about getting another one, but I am having these feelings of hesitation that are a concern to me. Anyone else feel this after losing their pet when they considered getting another one? Your thoughts are appreciated.

Definitely. We had a cat for years who had a lot of health problems. It was a hard for us to travel, etc., just like you said. After she passed away, I was extremely sad, but also hesitant to jump into that risk again. I finally got another (ended up with two) when I no longer just missed her as an individual, but also missed having a cat in general.

Have considered getting an easier breed?

 

[BC]

RobinB....I have often wondered about that. The guy that we got them from actually was recommended, but when we went to get them, there were hundreds of them running around barking and when he yelled (screamed!) for them to be quiet, they all immediately stopped barking! It was obvious when we got them home, (literally took hours to catch them in the fenced in back yard running from us from one end of the yard to the other) that we had a real issue on our hands.

The breeder I am talking with was actually recommended by our vet, which we love. The breeder is actually in Kentucky and we are in NC, but he had another client that got some pups from them and he raved about how beautiful and healthy these pups were. The breeder has a policy that no dog that leaves their home would ever be turned away should there ever be a reason we could not keep them, no matter how old they are. I think that speaks volumes about them. They are championship bloodlines and I assume that not only has an effect on their appearance, but also their health. By knowing about bloating, it sounds like you are very familiar with some of the issues we went through. Thanks so much for your words of encouragement.

 

[simba928]

It sounds like you definitely are not ready. As I said before, I work at a shelter, so I am all about the rescued dogs. The majority of my dogs that come in do not have these severe emotional/social issues that you experienced. Are they perfect? No, but no dog is. Alot of them need some basic manners and obedience training but you'll have to do that even if you get a puppy. A good number of my dogs were just family pets whose families fell into some rough times, whether they lost their house, became ill, or a variety of other reasons. I don't think you should get any dog, though, until you are sure you are prepared to take it on. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to the dog.

Do you have a couple spare hours a week? You could volunteer at a local shelter until you decide about the dog. It would allow you to see if you're ready to be attached to another dog, you could get your dog fix until you decide, you could help some dogs that could really use the help, and you may even fall in love with one! This would also give you the opportunity to interact with the dogs and get to know their personalities and any issues they may have. If you find one that you live, you'll have an idea if whether you can handle the dogs needs. If you still want to go with a breeder, then you still were able to help some dogs that may never have known the love that your last dogs had. That's why I keep working there, because I know ice had dogs cone through that we were the only people that loved these dogs and the only people this dog was able to trust.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I enjoy my life best with a dog as part of it, so when I lose one, I get another right away. It's not to say the heartache of losing them isn't devastating. It's just that the love I have somehow overrides it.

Preplanning should help ease your mind about what would happen to the dog should something happen to you. And I agree that you'll probably have a better experience with a dog from a good breeder. Have you considered another type of dog, ie one not so prone to health issues? I like simba's idea as well.

Good luck. Just think, somewhere out there is a dog waiting just for you.