Help me cut back on the "freeloaders"!

[snomofinn]

O.K. with all the threads on prices of groceries, Iam getting nervous because summer is almot here and the "freeloaders" will be coming! I usually spend 250.00 a week on groceries for my family of 4, when the summer comes I usually jump to $300.00 or more a week! We become the neighborhood food pantry. During the summer my DD's friends hang out at our house every day! They literally eat me out of house and home. They average about 8 hours at our house a day. They could go through a 12pk of water, a package of cookies, 2 frozen pizzas, crackers, a pound of cheese, a box of ice cream bars, a few pounds of grapes, with a snap of your fingers! I hate calling them freeloaders, because there my DD's friends. But the problem is they never go by any of the other girls houses, just ours. I keep telling my daughter that Iam spending too much and the girls can't stay that long, every day. Well that would last about a day or so and then back in the old routine. I remember last summer all too well, and it's 9 days and counting to this summer! One time I actually asked one of her friends why the girls couldnt go by her house, and she told me that her mom works part time and when she's not working shes tired and don't want anyone over! I really don't know what to do this summer, I want to be nice about it, but Iam having a hard time thinking of something "nice" to say to them! Help me!

 

[Davidsmommy]

I feel your pain!

How old is your DD?

My kids are still too young to have friends show up constantly (thank goodness!), but we have an inground pool. My parents are here pretty much every day after work. I don't have a problem with that, as they are my parents, plus they watch and play with my kids lol, but with them often comes my stepbrother, his daughter, some of his friends, his EX-girlfriend (his daughter's mother) - and she just got engaged to a guy with a child, so I am guessing this summer I will be seeing them as well. Lol Not at the same time, of course. Whoever has their daughter at the time will arrive. I hate to be stingy, because it is my kid's cousin (sort-of), and they love to play with her, but at some point it gets ridiculous.

I usually just buy extra food all summer and have it ready (easy stuff). If I am feeling particularly peckish, I tell my dad to order take-out and HE pays.

It is so tough, because you want to be gracious and welcoming, but it does get annoying if you are the only one, ynwim?

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

My DSis has this problem b/c they have a pool. Every summer, the world (or what seems like it) converges on her home. She has 4 teens, so you can imagine the crowd and the expense!

It sounds to me as if you have no problem with these kids using your home as their summer headquarters, it's just the food issue, right? Believe me (a mom of a DD17 & DS15 here), you'll be glad to know where your DD is hanging out and who she is with as she gets older! It's best to cultivate that open-door policy now.

I would suggest that the girls each provide something if they're going to congregate at your home. Someone brings the chips, another one or two brings some soda, someone else brings cookies, etc. That way, the cost is spread out among them.

 

[WeRblam]

My DSis has this problem b/c they have a pool. Every summer, the world (or what seems like it) converges on her home. She has 4 teens, so you can imagine the crowd and the expense!

It sounds to me as if you have no problem with these kids using your home as their summer headquarters, it's just the food issue, right? Believe me (a mom of a DD17 & DS15 here), you'll be glad to know where your DD is hanging out and who she is with as she gets older! It's best to cultivate that open-door policy now.

I would suggest that the girls each provide something if they're going to congregate at your home. Someone brings the chips, another one or two brings some soda, someone else brings cookies, etc. That way, the cost is spread out among them.

THis happens to me - all year round. I like the knowing where they kids are but it does add on to your food bill dramatically with all the snacks and drink. Summertime is definately worse because you have more people and they are here longer. Sometimes, the parents will send along some cookie or drink but not always. My kids, whenever they go to a house, I tell them always bring something. Whether it be a 2 liter coke, cookies, chips, etc. Never show up to any house emptyhanded. I just think it is good etiquette to teach our children.

 

[BethR]

It sounds to me as if you have no problem with these kids using your home as their summer headquarters, it's just the food issue, right? Believe me (a mom of a DD17 & DS15 here), you'll be glad to know where your DD is hanging out and who she is with as she gets older! It's best to cultivate that open-door policy now.

I completely agree! If you don't mind just having the girls there, then it really IS a good thing for you and DD!

I would suggest that the girls each provide something if they're going to congregate at your home. Someone brings the chips, another one or two brings some soda, someone else brings cookies, etc. That way, the cost is spread out among them.

A great suggestion. And if they don't come through, be sure to stock up on those "staples" when they are on sale. Do you have an Aldi's nearby? Great place to stock up on all the things that you have mentioned, and you can't beat the prices.

 

[snomofinn]

My DD is 13, she'll be going into 8th grade in September, so yes, Iam happy I know where she's at. I really don't have the problem with them hanging out here. I wish the other parents would cooperate and maybe send a snack or two sometime or maybe have the girls over at their house. Should I say something to the parents? or is that too forward?

 

[bettyann29]

I have this problem year round because ours is the house that all the kids want to be at.. to me that is worth more than the cost of the groceries as I know what the kids are doing and where they are and they arent roaming the streets.. The only thing I can really do is shop and stock up items when they are on sale such as pizza rolls when Albertsons has them for $1 a box and stuff like that.. during the summer especially, I make sure we have cheaper items avl to eat such as mac and cheese, peanut butter and jelly.. for drinks they usually drink kool aid or water out of the spout on the frig..

 

[me again]

Similar problem here, also, "guests' monkeying with the ac control. What nerve! Our electric bills are sky-high in this area, they know that, they pay electric bills, too. But whenever certain people came over last summer they'd just adjust the ac control to their liking. Well, I'm ready for them this summer--we got one of those lock boxes for our thermostat, like you see in offices, stores, etc. Cost about $18 at Lowe's. Its set at 79 degrees, that's how we live, if its comfortable for "guests" glad they like it, if not, tough it out or go to their homes to live in a fridge (honestly, they'd set it at 69, bet they'd never do that at their own home!).

Too bad you can't put a lock on the fridge, too, but you might just consider putting a lock on your pantry. I don't feel obligated to feed other people unless specifically invited to do so, like for dinner or a party. The food budget is a major part of our budget, like for everyone. We don't plan on feeding the neighborhood, too. Yesterday a little friend told me he was hungry. I told him perhaps it was time to go home for dinner. I'm simply not starting summer like last year, as a feeding station for the neighborhood. My kids never bum food at neighbor's homes. Just call me the neighborhood meanie, but then again, I'm only doing the same as anyone else. No one else in our neighborhood provides constant snacks in air chilled comfort for other people's kids, should be ok for me to do the same.

 

[luv2nascar]

you gotta watch the sale and buy cheap and almost free w/sales and coupons. Whatever you have is what they'll eat. Little debbies are like $1 a box regular price. Do you have one of those bakery outlets. We have a strohman bakery and they have cheap stuff - bread, rolls, cookies. entemans cakes are $1.50 there.

 

[Chickysmom]

could you suggest the girls bring their own lunches?? and perhaps set up a schedule between the housholds that every few days they spend the day elsewhere? Maybe then you could send your DD with her own lunch and a snack to share and that could set an example for the others too.

 

[me again]

Well here's another idea to cut down on the "freeloaders". Just don't have any snack type items in the house. They can't eat it if its not there. Just don't buy chips, soda, etc. Its more healthy, anyways. Of course, you do want something for your own family to snack on, but why are neighborhood kids helping themselves to your pantry? Or is your daughter offering it to her friends? I would never allow my kids to just help themselves to someone else's pantry, snacks, etc, unless offered. Seriously, you might consider keeping snack foods just for your family stored in another area, even if you do have to lock the pantry, or store them in another, out of the way place. I really don't think one should feel obligated to provide snacks for uninvited guests to the tune of $50+ a week, like the op has been doing.

 

[me again]

O.K. with all the threads on prices of groceries, Iam getting nervous because summer is almot here and the "freeloaders" will be coming! I usually spend 250.00 a week on groceries for my family of 4, when the summer comes I usually jump to $300.00 or more a week! We become the neighborhood food pantry. During the summer my DD's friends hang out at our house every day! They literally eat me out of house and home. They average about 8 hours at our house a day. They could go through a 12pk of water, a package of cookies, 2 frozen pizzas, crackers, a pound of cheese, a box of ice cream bars, a few pounds of grapes, with a snap of your fingers! I hate calling them freeloaders, because there my DD's friends. But the problem is they never go by any of the other girls houses, just ours. I keep telling my daughter that Iam spending too much and the girls can't stay that long, every day. Well that would last about a day or so and then back in the old routine. I remember last summer all too well, and it's 9 days and counting to this summer! One time I actually asked one of her friends why the girls couldnt go by her house, and she told me that her mom works part time and when she's not working shes tired and don't want anyone over! I really don't know what to do this summer, I want to be nice about it, but Iam having a hard time thinking of something "nice" to say to them! Help me!

Also, all those people in your house 8+ hours day runs up your electric bill. They probably are playing video games, watching tv, etc.

 

[Chickysmom]

perhaps you could start a lunchtime break too, where everyone goes home to have their lunches and then continues on with the fun...perhaps 12-1 or something like that. then upon return they could have the community snacks supplied by everyone for the day. if others do not contribute to the snacks for the day, then maybe there aren't any.....

if I was in your neighborhood and was approached about this as a mom, I would be fine with the topic!

 

[Trekker]

This has been the situation at our house for at least the past 7 or 8 years. We are thrilled that our house is where the kids want to be.

I know that it has caused a little more expense - but that was not aproblem for us. Many of these kids preferred to be at our house - cause they did not have good situations at their homes. But they had a great accepting environment in our home - many have been and still are like adopted kids to us.

That being said - I would see nothing wrong with talking to the parents of the kids and letting them know that you love having the kidshang out at your house - but you could use some help with snacks and drinks and ask if they could maybe send stuff along with the kids.....

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I know it stinks to fork out the extra money, but I would be thrilled that they all wanted to be at our house. I hope when the kids are older that our house is like that.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I have 3 kids old enough that their friends are in and out of our house all day long, but I sent everyone home for meals unless they have been specifically invited, like for a sleepover. When it's time for lunch I just say "okay, DD has to each lunch now, it's time to go home, but if you want to she can come get you after lunch" or they plan a time to meet or something like that. I will offer them a snack if my kids are having one, but we mostly just hand out popsicles, the kool-aid ones. Microwave popcorn makes a cheap snack, too, since you can feed a couple kids with one bag.

 

[4eyedbuzzard]

I just have my children tell their friends that if they're going to hang out here alot they need to bring some snacks and soda. Usually they don't, but they do chip in with a 5 or 10 spot every week or so now. They got the idea, and it helps.

 

[shortbun]

Not a flame but I think it's good that your house is the hang out house. You could try laying down some rules about what food is up for grabs. I'd tell them to drink tap water-no way would I be providing bottled water to the masses. I'd buy the cheapest frozen pizzas and ice cream bars known to man and I'd set a limit to the amounts of cheese and grapes they were allowed to consume-'these are your grapes girls, the rest are for the family.'
We're the hang out house too and my complaint is mainly keeping up with the food demand. I've taught them all how to clean up and they do it. Yesterday, five boys all over the place-shoes, socks, soccer gear. I walked into the room with my hands on my hips and they scurried to pick up everything. I keep a Brita in the frig for water-again, no way am I buying bottled water for the masses.

 

[powellrj]

we have had this situation over the years and the best way we have found to handle it was to just buy cheaper food. I will do Aldis stock-ups and hit the bread store for bread and sweet goods. I use turkey lunch meat instead of the good stuff and keep lots of lemonade and ice tea frozen pizzas and cheap ice cream bars and cookies.

 

[Kay1]

Not a flame but I think it's good that your house is the hang out house. You could try laying down some rules about what food is up for grabs. I'd tell them to drink tap water-no way would I be providing bottled water to the masses. I'd buy the cheapest frozen pizzas and ice cream bars known to man and I'd set a limit to the amounts of cheese and grapes they were allowed to consume-'these are your grapes girls, the rest are for the family.'
We're the hang out house too and my complaint is mainly keeping up with the food demand. I've taught them all how to clean up and they do it. Yesterday, five boys all over the place-shoes, socks, soccer gear. I walked into the room with my hands on my hips and they scurried to pick up everything. I keep a Brita in the frig for water-again, no way am I buying bottled water for the masses.

I agre with Shortbun. It sounds like your daughter is allowed to raid the refrigerator at will which is fine until you suddenly have eight or so daughters doing the same. I would tell DD that groceries have gone sky high along with gas prices and it's time to cut back a bit. You could ask her for suggestions on what to pick up at the store. Then control what's offered for snacks. A nice big pitcher of ice water, carrot sticks, popcorn, pretzels . . . whatever you think best is what should be served. I don't think anyone should be encouraged to rummage through another's pantry at will.