help immediately!! question for you English/grammar teachers.

[simba928]

I am writing a paper for Language Arts and I don't know how this one sentence should be.

"Other than the magic, everyone should go to WDW because of the friendly people, the wonderful atmospher, and anyone can afford it."

Should there be a comma before the "because" or is it correct as-is?
Thanks in advance!

 

[pozey]

I'm not an Eglish teacher, nor do I pretend to be....

but I think the sentence looks correct.

 

[mom2boys]

No , before because

 

[simba928]

thanks!

 

[luvwinnie]

ATMOSPHERE is how you spell it, by the way

 

[luvwinnie]

I'd write is this way:

"Besides the magic, everyone should go to WDW because of the friendly people, the wonderful atmosphere and its affordability."

Although I have to say not EVERYONE can afford WDW!

 

[tar heel]

I'm afraid I would reword the sentence totally. Your introductory clause "Other than the magic" does not go with "Everyone." To be a properly constructed sentence, the introductory clause needs to go with what follows it.

"Other than the magic, the friendly people, the atmosphere . . . are reasons everyone should go to WDW."

or

"Other than the magic, reasons everyone should go to Disney World include . . ."

 

[Christine]

The last part of the sentence is just not correct.

You have: friendly people, wonderful atmosphere, and then "anyone can afford it." That last part in quotes is not 'balanced' with the other two and is probably grammatically incorrect although I can cite the reasons why.

 

[Lessa of Pern]

I agree, the sentece should be rewirded as you suggest.

 

[DukeStreetKing]

I'd write is this way:

"Besides the magic, everyone should go to WDW because of the friendly people, the wonderful atmosphere and its affordability."

Although I have to say not EVERYONE can afford WDW!

Be sure to put an apostrophe after "its".

 

[RadioNate]

ok, you guys have got me. When people gave the correct comma advice I didn't say anything else because I didn't kno what grade level we were talking about.

I'd use "in addition" instead of 'besides' in luvwinnie's suggestion but agree about the balanced sentence structure people have pointed out. I tried several ways to flip the clauses like tar heel suggested and couldn't find a way I liked that kept the OPs message clear.

 

[MariDisney]

Be sure to put an apostrophe after "its".

Not to get picky, but why would you put an apostrophe after its? Are you saying make it --its'--?

 

[simba928]

Thanks for the help. The atmosphere was a typo, I'm sorry. Before I had "friendly people, the wonderful atmosphere, and the wide range of prices", but my teacher said to change the wide range of prices and she asked what I meant by that. I told her that there is something for everyone and everyone can afford it and she told me to write that. That is why I put "everyone can afford it". I posted the whole essay if anyone wants to read it, BTW.

 

[simba928]

By the way, this is an assignment for a tenth grade Language Arts class if that makes any difference to how I should write this.

 

[MrsNick]

Be sure to put an apostrophe after "its".

"Its" possessive has no apostrophe.

"It's" is a contraction of It is.

My tenth grade English teacher would have flunked any paper confusing the two.

 

[MrsNick]

The last part of the sentence is just not correct.

You have: friendly people, wonderful atmosphere, and then "anyone can afford it." That last part in quotes is not 'balanced' with the other two and is probably grammatically incorrect although I can cite the reasons why.

I believe that the independent clause "anyone can afford it" would have to be preceded by a semi-colon, otherwise the sentence as is would be what is referred to as a run-on.

The author can choose to precede the clause with a semi-colon, or separate it as a stand alone sentence.

 

[DukeStreetKing]

Not to get picky, but why would you put an apostrophe after its? Are you saying make it --its'--?

Yes, in the context of the sentence the word "its" is being possesive. It is referring to Walt Disney World's affordability, therefore it gets an apostrophe after it.

LOL, so many "its" in that sentence.

 

[simba928]

OK, so what about this.
"In addition to the magic, everyone should go to WDW because of the friendly people, the wonderful atmosphere, and its affordability."

 

[DukeStreetKing]

"Its" possessive has no apostrophe.

"It's" is a contraction of It is.

My tenth grade English teacher would have flunked any paper with this error.

Dang it! Ok, I stand corrected. Thanks, MrsNick for keeping me honest.

 

[MrsNick]

Dang it! Ok, I stand corrected. Thanks, MrsNick for keeping me honest.

LOL - If you think I'm bad, you should talk to my sis. She works at a newspaper and one of her former positions was as a copy editor!