HELP! I am at my wits end, 5yo DS has started wetting the bed

[Disney1fan2002]

my 5yo has started to wet the bed. Over the summer, I discovered he had been having "accidents" during the day, not everyday, but once or twice a week. I passed it off at laziness, and I finally punished him. (no tv for a 2 days). The daytime wetting stopped after that, confirming the laziness. ( I assume).

Now, last week, I discovered he has been wetting the bed! I went in to change the sheets on his bed, and got an awful oder of urine. I thought he had hidden his pants again, which is what he was doing with the daytime wetting. I realized it was the sheets, and sure enough, they were soaked. I found 3 pairs of wet underwear under his mattress.

Now, I don't know what to do. He was never wetter, even when he was being potty trained. why now at 5yo?

HELP. My 1st instinct is to punish him, but I know that won't solve anything and may make it worse.

 

[Barb D]

I would take him to the doctor. Maybe he has a urinary tract infection or something?

 

[phillybeth]

Take him to the doctor and rule out any physical causes. Is he drinking more?

 

[swilphil]

Definitely don't punish him. It will just make the problem worse. You might give your ped. a call, just to rule out any physical problems, but I don't think it's all that uncommon. I remember reading that boys often wet the bed until they are something like 8. My son is 5, and we still put him in a pull-up. He will go months where he wakes up with the pull-up still dry but then he will have a week or two where it's wet. I don't know if it's tied to growth spurts or what. One thing you can do is limit his fluid intake in the evening.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Did you rule out infection or something else? Diabetes maybe? Sudden wetting needs to be looked into.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would take him to the doctor. To punish him for something that very likely is out of his control is extremely harsh! The lasting harm from punishing him for something that is beyond his control can be great--I am talking from personal experience. I was a bedwetter and my mother was at her wits end. She would get mad at me, yell at me, and once rubbed my nose in it like I was a puppy being housetrained. For crying out loud, I was a child. Who would want to sleep in a urine soaked bed? This was long before there were the disposable pants for bedwetting. Eventually she brought me to the dr and I was given meds that helped out and over time I outgrew it.

I would start by getting the Pull-ups or Goodnights (I think that's what they are called). Have him checked out by the dr to rule out any health problems. If everything else checks out, relax.

I have 4 children and thought for sure they'd be bedwetters. Maybe as a paypack for the tough times that I endured as a child, my first 3 were not bedwetters once they were past 3 or so years old. My 4th wasn't, either, for awhile. Now he will kind of go in cycles and it seems to have to do with how soundly he is sleeping, how much liquid he has had in the couple of hours before bedtime and how many salty foods he's eaten. He started wetting the bed for awhile after eating the salty snack mix every evening. I think it made him retain fluids that were then released during the night.

He's 5yo and is usually dry, but he does wear a Pull-up. Usually it is dry and when he takes it off he puts it with his pj's and wears it another night. That we he gets a few nights wear out of it before I toss it. I hate washing sheets and I'm glad that this easy solution is available.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I definitely would not punish him. I think, especially since it was a more sudden onset, that there is definitely some reason. Perhaps physical (UTI or diabetes) or something emotional. None of my first six were bedwetters but last ds wears a good nite to bed because he's only dry maybe 2 or 3 nights a week. We just treat it matter of factly and NEVER embarrass or punish him. Pediatrician said it's not uncommon for boys 5 or 6 years old. Definitely call your doctor!

 

[Pam]

Take him to the doctor for a check-up. My friend's son has a kidney disease and wet the bed for years and years.

 

[solferino]

I know this sounds really wierd, but dairy can be a trigger, too. I have a friend whose DD was wetting in her sleep and after some investigation and reading she eliminated dairy products from her diet and the bedwetting stopped. She then started re-introducing dairy to her DD and the bedwetting started back up.

There's a great book called Is this your child by Doris Rapp, which helps find connections between health/behaviour issues and food sensitivities or allergies. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0688119077/102-5854604-1080157?v=glance&n=283155&v=glance

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Once you rule out a physical (and I would add emotional - is anything new going on with him?) cause, give him all the fluids he wants during the day, but try limiting them after supper. Then, make sure he pees right before bed. Personally, I would also plan on setting my alarm clock for 3am for a while to take him to the bathroom and "retrain" his bladder. Hopefully once he gets in a routine he'll begin to wake himself up to pee on his own.

This has been a routine for us since our kids were little. DH gets up at that time anyway so when they were young he always took them to the bathroom as a preventative measure. Now, they often wake themselves up at that time to go. When DD was 5-6yo during the daytime she had a tendency to wait too long to go to the bathroom so I had to make sure I took her on a regular basis before she had an accident. Have him go frequently during the day and it will help him become sensitive to it. Best of luck.

 

[lbgraves]

Please take him to see a urologist before deciding on anything!!! It is very possible that this is NOT his fault. This is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a kid. (((HUGS))) I started wetting the bed at age 5. It took three surgeries to correct my problem...basically messed up plumbing & I had no control over it. I can totally understand what your DS has been going thru. He is embarrassed and that is why he has been hiding the soiled clothing. I clearly remember taking all of the sheets off my bed one night after I woke up soaking wet and hiding them in the tub with my nightgown. I guess that I figured if I didn't see them, my parents wouldn't know. I sure wish that they had the goodnights when I was growing up!!! That would have made my life SO much easier. I was 5 when they diagnosed it but they could only do a "quick fix" with the first surgery. They couldn't complete everything until I was 8.

 

[GJM]

I wouldn't punish him either. My DS is 5 also and he has just started staying dry at night. Every once in awhile he will tell me he had an accident at night, but I don't make a big deal out of it. I was concerned that at 5 he was still wearing a pull up at night, sometimes it was dry other times wet. Once he started staying dry we gave up the pull ups. My Dr. said not to worry about it, boys take longer sometimes up until they are 8. I would try not to make a big deal about it, I am sure he was upset also since he didn't tell you and went to hide his underware.

 

[slo]

My DD has seen a urologist and is medicated for having accidents. She was originally diagnosed with having a spastic bladder and therefore she has her little "piddle" accidents. (This diagnosis was done after having an ultrasound performed by the doctor).

When she is off her medication, she goes back to having her accidents. Her doctor is going to do further tests to see if she has any other problems. If she doesn't, which I hope, she may be medicated for the rest of her life for this condition.

I understand so much about your frustrations - I've been there!! I also thought my DD (about 5 when this started and she is now 7) was being lazy and not trying hard enough. Then I began thinking that this is not normal and my Pediatrician agreed. Please take him to the doctor so you can ease both of your minds. Also, try to not get to annoyed with the accidents, because you want him to be honest when he has the accidents, so you can keep record about how often this is happening. Also, if he is in school, you may want to tell his teacher, w/o him knowing, what is going on so that the teacher knows that when he says he has to go to the bathroom that he's not screwing around and he really has to go. I have done this with all my DD's teachers. In fact, recently my DD's after[school care leader said to me when I picked her up, "Your DD has been going to the bathroom alot and she claims she has a bladder problem and she has to use the bathroom alot." She said it like she didn't believe my DD and I forgot to tell her. When I explained the situation, she understood and now lets DD use the bathroom whenever needed.

I hope there is nothing wrong with your son - but if he has anything like my DD, the mediciane she is on really works. I have it flavored at the pharmacy with grape flavoring and she never minds taking it.

Good luck!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

my 5yo has started to wet the bed. Over the summer, I discovered he had been having "accidents" during the day, not everyday, but once or twice a week. I passed it off at laziness, and I finally punished him. (no tv for a 2 days). The daytime wetting stopped after that, confirming the laziness. ( I assume).

Now, last week, I discovered he has been wetting the bed! I went in to change the sheets on his bed, and got an awful oder of urine. I thought he had hidden his pants again, which is what he was doing with the daytime wetting. I realized it was the sheets, and sure enough, they were soaked. I found 3 pairs of wet underwear under his mattress.

Now, I don't know what to do. He was never wetter, even when he was being potty trained. why now at 5yo?

HELP. My 1st instinct is to punish him, but I know that won't solve anything and may make it worse.

Fear of being punished is probably why he's hiding his wet underwear under the bed.

Take him to a doctor and rule out a physical cause...urinary tract infection ordiabetes comes to mind immediately.

If not physical, then think psychological...any changes in his life lately...move, divorce, start school, new baby????

Why would you think punishing a 5 year old for something like that would be at all helpful?????

 

[Mermaid02]

I haven't read all of the replies but PLEASE don't punish him. Nobody "wants" to wake up with wet sheets. Believe me, I have slept with my ds before and waking up with cold wet smelly sheets is not pleasant. If he's hiding his wet pants, he's afraid and most likely embarassed. Take him to the doctor and get him some "good nites" to wear during the night in the mean time.

 

[momof2inPA]

Don't punish him, but make sure he goes potty right before bed. Even if he says he doesn't have to, have him sit there until he goes. If that doesn't work, go see the doctor. A five year old would have to be really smart or really scared to hide his undies beneath the mattress.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Why would you think punishing a 5 year old for something like that would be at all helpful?????

Did my OP say anything about me thinking punishing would help? I said I DID punish once over the summer when I thought it was laziness, after dealing with it for a while. Now that it has moved to bed wetting, I realize something has to be wrong somewhere. I believe I ACTUALLY said punishing would not help and make matters worse even.

Thanks for making feel that much better.

 

[Puffy2]

Ditto on the "do not punish him!"

Ask your peditrician about it and/or consider taking him to a specialist. If nothing physical is found wrong, as he gets older teach him how to clean himself up, remove his own sheets and put his dirty clothes in the laundry room or even , as he gets older, wash them himself.

Most kids outgrow this, but if he doesn't, it becomes an issue between him and his urologist.

 

[shortbun]

Did my OP say anything about me thinking punishing would help? I said I DID punish once over the summer when I thought it was laziness, after dealing with it for a while. Now that it has moved to bed wetting, I realize something has to be wrong somewhere. I believe I ACTUALLY said punishing would not help and make matters worse even.

Thanks for making feel that much better.

Ya know, I thought you were thinking about punishing him too. I think everyone who posted did. That's why they ALL said, "don't punish" in their first sentence. I went back and re-read your post and I can see that you only said that punishment was your first instinct but that you were not going to do it. I think it was probably just your frustration that made you seem like you were still considering it so please forgive ALL of us. We ALL thought we should implore you not to punish him. Glad you won't! I'll add my post to those who suggest an immediate trip to the pediatrician, this could be quickly solveable or be a an indication of something serious. Good luck! I went through soiling with my child and it IS frustrating!! but not their fault.

 

[halestrm]

Ya know, I thought you were thinking about punishing him too. I think everyone who posted did. That's why they ALL said, "don't punish" in their first sentence. I went back and re-read your post and I can see that you only said that punishment was your first instinct but that you were not going to do it. I think it was probably just your frustration that made you seem like you were still considering it so please forgive ALL of us. We ALL thought we should implore you not to punish him. Glad you won't!

I agree. Just a misunderstanding there. But please, take DS to the doctor as soon as possible. My husband has a small bladder and this was a problem for him growing up. Think very small town and how word travels. He couldn't spend the night at someones house, and no one would invite him because of the daytime accidents he had had. Children can be cruel.

Your DS is going to be going through some self-esteem issues, make sure he sees that you don't think he is a baby. The more embarrased/humiliated he is, the more likely the problems will increase.

Let us know what the doctor says! Good luck to both.