Help! Friend doesn't agree on how to "do" Disney!

[1stTimeDisneyMommy]

WWYD? My 4 year old daughter and I are going to Disney with my best friend and her 4 year old daughter. My friend and her daughter have already been to Disney a few times, and I grew up in Miami and have been a million times, but this will be my daughter's first time. I LOVE the way my mom and dad did Disney with me -- we hit all the "major" rides and attractions at Disney and Epcot (skipped the countries, never missed Imagination, Listen to the Land, etc...) I'm probably just as excited to go on the same rides as I was 25 years ago!!!!

My friend, however, told me that she doesn't care if her daughter wants to ride Dumbo 10 times or the Mad Hatter Tea Party 10 times, she will let her. She doesn't care if she misses Small World, Pirates, etc... but I do care. My daughter has never seen Disney and has no idea how incredible everything is, and I don't want her to miss the great attractions because she's following her best friend and going on Dumbo 10 times.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

I think the key to a successful trip when traveling with another family is planning some things together, but also planning plenty of time apart. Good communication is also extremely important.

Plan some meals together, and some park touring time, but then split up.

BTW, I'm somewhere in between you and your friend in touring style. I make sure to hit the big attractions, but if DD wants to ride It's A Small World 3 times in a row, I let her. But 3 consecutive times is my limit on that one. After that, I start to go a little nutty.

 

[ChristusG]

I totally agree with the above poster. Sometimes it can be a pain to tour with other people due to their touring differences LOL. So plan some time together and some time to do your own things as well.

 

[tanyaandallie]

I 100% concur. Just b/c you go together, does not mean you need to tour together!!! Talk about it with her now!!! Come to an agreement that you guys can go your own way and do your own thing. Meet for lunch, take the girls to BBB together, go to dinner together. Otherwise you will end up frustrated with them and they will be frustrated with you.

 

[karinbelle]

I 100% concur. Just b/c you go together, does not mean you need to tour together!!! Talk about it with her now!!! Come to an agreement that you guys can go your own way and do your own thing. Meet for lunch, take the girls to BBB together, go to dinner together. Otherwise you will end up frustrated with them and they will be frustrated with you.

Make ADRs for a nice lunch/dinner together (Chef Mickey's!). Go your own way and meet up at specific times for a few special occasions.

Try to "wake up" Tinkerbell in her shop behind the castle (be the first one in the store when the shop opens and ask). My DS did this and it was magical! You can also put Tink to bed.

Watch the parade and fireworks together.

Have fun! Don't forget to schedule a rest for those little 4 year old legs.

 

[tjmw2727]

ITA agree with the PP's who suggested splitting up. I have been lucky enough to travel with my BF and her DD (same age as mine) and we didn't spend 24/7 together. We also did a family trip and although my SIL is one of my best friends we also didn't tour together all the time.

We would usually start out in the same park together but eventualy split up. We planned a couple character meals together and met at the restaurant.
We did several parades together, it was more fun for the kids.
We spend a few afternoons at the pool and playground together.
We did a few evenings strolling the WS together while the kiddos sat in the stroller and eventually fell asleep. This doubled as "adult time" when we got a margherita in Mexico and watched Illuminations from a bench. Both kids slept though

Due some planning and make some ADR's and decide which things you would like to try and do together and arrange meeting times. It is easy now with cellphones!

TJ

 

[Ducky4Disney]

In the end, it might not matter how *you* want to do Disney, but how your *DD* wants to do Disney! What if she likes doing Dumbo 10 times and never wants to set foot on ITASW or POTC? You've been a million times but it's her first trip; who is this trip for?

Take your cues from her - try everything once, if she is willing, and then focus on the things that she really liked.

You don't have to wait for your friends kid to get tired of Dumbo before moving on, just say "hey, we'll be over here doing XYZ and we'll meet you for lunch in an hour". I've done the WDW trips where I play cruise director trying to set everything up to please everybody - it's not fun. Communicate with your friend now about some things that are important to her and things that are important to you. Agree to disagree on some points and meet in the middle on others, it'll all work out.

BTW: Skip the countries? Are you mad? What about seeing the candy lady in Japan? Or the acrobats in China? Don't let DD miss those things!

D4D

ETA: besides, missing a few things here and there makes an excellent reason to go back!

 

[tlbwriter]

I completely agree on splitting up. Maybe you could make the mornings "mom and daughter" time, meet for lunch, and then spend the afternoons doing things together. Just explain that you both like different things, and it would be unfair to make her stick to your style, or make you stick to hers.

 

[MikkiM]

I've been in your shoes before and the trip put a strain on the friendship b/c we were always together. Just go about your own way when needed and you'll be fine. Remember that your daughter may not want to do all the same things you do though, so maybe you can go off by yourself when they are riding the same ride over and over.

This trip another family will be going with us, while the intent is to stick together I'm sure there will be times when we all go our own way. I'm still trying to convince BF that our boys (13 & 14) can go off for short times by themselves as well. I'm not a water park person so she is going to take all the kids to Blizzard Beach one afternoon and her DBF and I are going to do something. I think we'll be fine b/c we all expect to do our own thing at times and have dinner together every night.

 

[dancin'girl]

I feel like we're in the same boat!! We've had our trip planned for awhile and now my husband's family wants to go, too. I thought it would be great for my kids to vacation with family, but it has become apparent that my in-laws have a totally different view of what thay want out of their vacation. They don't want to stay at the same resort, they don't want to get up early to go to the parks at opening, they only want to eat dinner in Epcot...all the opposites go on and on. My husband says it's a nightmare, but I say its
do-able. We haven't had a sit-dowm talk about it yet, but we'll have to sort things out before we leave. I'm thinking that we will spend some time together, but alot of the trip will be seperate - which makes me wonder why we going together anyway???
I would just have a plan for what you really want to do and see and make sure that you do. If it seems like your missing things, I would split up and plan to meet back somewhere, maybe for dinner. It would be great if you had dinner ressies together each night and if your staying at the same resort, you could schedule time together to swim.

 

[kimsuenew]

WWYD? My 4 year old daughter and I are going to Disney with my best friend and her 4 year old daughter. My friend and her daughter have already been to Disney a few times, and I grew up in Miami and have been a million times, but this will be my daughter's first time. I LOVE the way my mom and dad did Disney with me -- we hit all the "major" rides and attractions at Disney and Epcot (skipped the countries, never missed Imagination, Listen to the Land, etc...) I'm probably just as excited to go on the same rides as I was 25 years ago!!!!

My friend, however, told me that she doesn't care if her daughter wants to ride Dumbo 10 times or the Mad Hatter Tea Party 10 times, she will let her. She doesn't care if she misses Small World, Pirates, etc... but I do care. My daughter has never seen Disney and has no idea how incredible everything is, and I don't want her to miss the great attractions because she's following her best friend and going on Dumbo 10 times.

You both have differing versions of how a park "should" be done. Neither is right, or wrong, simply different!

While we did not go to WDW when DS was small, we did go to Kings Island, Cedar Point, and local fairs. We did what your friend did... let our DS choose/ride what he wanted, even if it was 5, 6, 7 times in a row!

Even though you are "going together", if neither is willing to compromise (eg we do one day my way, and one day your way or do 1/2 day each adults way), then split up! That is sad for the little ones, but if the parents see touring so differently, it may be the only option left! You could always meet up for lunch or parade/fireworks throughout the day so the children can spend some time together.

 

[leebee]

OK, splitting up sounds like a good idea, but the catch is, will the KIDS want to? We (DD15 and I) run into this issue when going to WDW with my Dsis and Dnieces (7 and 10yrs old). There is a fairly large age gap here, and DD doesn't always want to do the same things the younger children want to do (figment in epcot, dumbo, aladdin carpets, triceratops come to mind)- or they don't want to do what SHE wants (ToT, RnRC, etc). As the nieces are quite vocal when they don't get their own way, we often spend a lot of time doing "their" trip for the sake of harmony, yet when DD and I try to do something else, there's all this commotion about "wanting to go with" DD. The times DD and I have stuck to our guns and gone on thrill rides, Dsis and kids will come along and just wait...and w..a..i..t..and w......a.......i......t......, not without commenting on how LONG they are waiting and why can't DD just do what THEY want. So much for family harmony...nobody is happy, although the really annoying thing is that when we vacation separately, both family's kids end up wishing the cousin(s) were along!

SO...even though you have a plan and it involves separating from your friend and even if SHE is OK with it, be prepared to have the little ones be not so happy with your decision. Either that or talk with your friend and explain that it's your DD's first time, and tell her what you want to do. It might be that she willing will go along, maybe even encourage her DD to "show" WDW to your DD, or at least might put a limit on the number of times her kid will ride so that your kid gets to do/see more of WDW than she might otherwise.

 

[idieh]

It's funny, I had this conversation before. I even wrote a long email to friends discribing my feeling on sharing vacations. My point has always been that "I am going on vacation to spend time with MY DW & DS"! If I am traveling with friends or family thats "great" but that does not mean that we will be joined at the hip. You should plan what YOU want to do with your DD and leave time for shared activities. Meals, fireworks and Downtown Disney are great for this. After that spend your time the way YOU want to! Vacations are, sadly, few and far between (and expensive!). Enjoy it!

 

[WDWMaiselFamilyWDW]

My family takes a yearly vacation with another family with no problems at all (to the beach, Carribbean, whatever), but I simply cannot bring myself to attempt Disney with anyone but my DH and 2 DS's! I just enjoy Disney "our way" too much to accommodate anyone else on any level. In theory it always sounds like fun, but in reality I think it would ruin it for me. I know, I know...I need to loosen up!

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

Why not go seperate ways for half the day, or the entire day, then meet up for dinner?

I would NOT under any circumstance let a friend, relative, or the Pope himself have a say in my daughters first trip to Disney. You only have one first trip.

 

[VeroBeachGirl]

I would NOT under any circumstance let a friend, relative, or the Pope himself have a say in my daughters first trip to Disney. You only have one first trip.

AMEN SISTER! Hubby thought it may be nice to invite his parents to go with us. They are way too know it all and negative for me to handle, especially in my "happy place!"