Help finger sucker still....Yikes!!!

[lukenick1]

Ok here is the story...
My DS7 started off as a newborn with thumb sucking then at 2 months old he developed a blister on his thumb so he moved to his middle and ring fingers. He sucks both of them at the same time. Here he is now 7 and he sucks them most of the time he is at home. He wouldn't dare do it at school or in front of his friends . Anyway, he gets multiple strep infections every school season and we have booked his surgery to get his tonsils out. My DH and I can't help but wonder if he stopped sucking his fingers would he have less strep? Even though he doesn't suck them while at school and he washes his hands as soon as het gets home I can't help but wonder if the germs under his nails (eeewwww) are the culprit. So without knowing if its the cause or not, I still am also worried about the fact that his new front teeth are starting to grow in. I'm afraid he will mess them up. He says sucking his fingers "relaxes him" and that his fingers are his whole world. Am I mean to put something nasty on those fingers to get him to stop, or should i just let him give it up on his own when he is ready. I feel bad taking his comfort away, but at the same time, its not worth the damage they can cause. I don't know what to do here

 

[Liberty Belle]

Ok here is the story...
My DS7 started off as a newborn with thumb sucking then at 2 months old he developed a blister on his thumb so he moved to his middle and ring fingers. He sucks both of them at the same time. Here he is now 7 and he sucks them most of the time he is at home. He wouldn't dare do it at school or in front of his friends . Anyway, he gets multiple strep infections every school season and we have booked his surgery to get his tonsils out. My DH and I can't help but wonder if he stopped sucking his fingers would he have less strep? Even though he doesn't suck them while at school and he washes his hands as soon as het gets home I can't help but wonder if the germs under his nails (eeewwww) are the culprit. So without knowing if its the cause or not, I still am also worried about the fact that his new front teeth are starting to grow in. I'm afraid he will mess them up. He says sucking his fingers "relaxes him" and that his fingers are his whole world. Am I mean to put something nasty on those fingers to get him to stop, or should i just let him give it up on his own when he is ready. I feel bad taking his comfort away, but at the same time, its not worth the damage they can cause. I don't know what to do here

Does he have any anxiety or eating issues? If so, I'd lay off for a while. If not, I'd talk to his dentist or doctor about the best way to help him stop.

Also, does he have any other sensory issues?

 

[tiggger1]

have you tried putting on the special nail polish that have cyan pepper in it?

either that or get him a something else to suck on? Candy or a pop. My son has a sensory issues and used to bite so he had a "chewy" its just a blue rubber tube ( his OT got it at home depot) tied in a knot.

 

[Hannathy]

Don't take it away but make it not easy or so pleasurable. Tell him he can suck his fingers, although he should stop, BUT if he has to he can only do it laying on his bed. Then if he wants to at night it is ok and if he really wants to when he is home from school, but he can't watch TV or play video games he has to be laying on his bed. A 7 yr old will get bored with that very quickly BUT it is still there if he really needs it. (like at night or bothered by something) If he can stop for 7 hours during the day he can stop, and this way you aren't the bad guy and it will taper off on it's own.

 

[lukenick1]

Nope no anxieties or sensory issues just enjoys them so much. It's not a habit because he only does it at home. I did put some of that nasty nail polish called HOOF on them about a year ago and he did stop sucking them for a few weeks. Went right back to it though ugh! My question is, is it wrong to make him stop when he is so comforted by it? Is it wrong to take that security away from him?? Do you think he will have to stop anyway once he has the tonsil surgery? Won't the suction inhibit the healing??? I need some advice!

 

[lukenick1]

Don't take it away but make it not easy or so pleasurable. Tell him he can suck his fingers, although he should stop, BUT if he has to he can only do it laying on his bed. Then if he wants to at night it is ok and if he really wants to when he is home from school, but he can't watch TV or play video games he has to be laying on his bed. A 7 yr old will get bored with that very quickly BUT it is still there if he really needs it. (like at night or bothered by something) If he can stop for 7 hours during the day he can stop, and this way you aren't the bad guy and it will taper off on it's own.

Great advice I think I will try this. He really does need them if he is sick or hurt. So I would feel bad if he had no means of comfort. I tried giving him a stuffed animal and a blanket but it's just not the same. My hubby and I still can't figure out why sucking is so pleasurable to him.... at 7!!!

 

[Liberty Belle]

Nope no anxieties or sensory issues just enjoys them so much. It's not a habit because he only does it at home. I did put some of that nasty nail polish called HOOF on them about a year ago and he did stop sucking them for a few weeks. Went right back to it though ugh! My question is, is it wrong to make him stop when he is so comforted by it? Is it wrong to take that security away from him?? Do you think he will have to stop anyway once he has the tonsil surgery? Won't the suction inhibit the healing??? I need some advice!

Honestly, I'd ask his doctor. We took our son's pacifier away that he was EXTREMELY attached to when he was four. I wish we wouldn't have. After that he started gaining weight (and became chubby) and started having anxiety problems. We now know that he has Sensory Integration Disorder, so I think we should have just left it alone or restricted it to his bed.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Don't take it away but make it not easy or so pleasurable. Tell him he can suck his fingers, although he should stop, BUT if he has to he can only do it laying on his bed. Then if he wants to at night it is ok and if he really wants to when he is home from school, but he can't watch TV or play video games he has to be laying on his bed. A 7 yr old will get bored with that very quickly BUT it is still there if he really needs it. (like at night or bothered by something) If he can stop for 7 hours during the day he can stop, and this way you aren't the bad guy and it will taper off on it's own.

I think this is a great suggestion to try. You don't want to traumatize him by making him feel really bad about himself. Hopefully you can find something else to comfort him.

I hate to tell you this, but my old neighbor was a thumb sucker. By the time he was a teen ager he would just hold the tip of his thumb against his mouth when he was in public. He continued that habit until he passed away in his 30s. Good luck.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I was a fingernail biter until my 20's and I never got strep. I don't think sucking his fingers is any worse than nail biting. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[monsterkitty]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news for you here, but I have two students who still suck their thumbs. Both are 7th graders. Both sets of parents have tried everything from a mouth appliance to the special nail polish and everything else in between.

What is even more amazing to me is that the other kids do not tease them about this!

 

[Juliegirl1]

Interesting that you posted this. My son used to suck two of his fingers and would twirl his hair with the other hand. He was also very susceptible to strep. He's 10 now and stopped sucking his fingers between ages 8 and 9. I think he still sometimes twirls his hair at night but I don't see him doing it anymore. He hasn't had the bad cases of strep like he used to get since he stopped sucking his fingers.

My doctor told me that once you get strep you will always be more susceptible to it than people who have never had it. Also removing the tonsils will not eradicate the possibility of having strep, it just won't be as painful because the tonsils are gone.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Mine did the exact same thing until right before she turned 10 ! Same sort of thing, progressed to only doing it at home and mostly just when bored or hurt. We did the icky nail polish, bad tasting soap to wash hands with and I put bandaids on her fingers to get her to stop and different times. But at that point SHE had to be the one to want to stop. And she finally did-- stopped cold turkey for one reason. . .

HEADGEAR

Took her to the orthodontist to see what we needed to do about the teeth and jaw problems the finger sucking had caused and I had been warning her about for years. The day she found out she was going to have to have headgear she stopped sucking her fingers. Having the headgear also inhibits the ability to suck on the fingers so they told me that she would stop when she got it, but she actually stopped several weeks earlier after the initial appointment.

You may want to talk to your dentist or an orthodontist. I think I have heard there may be an appliance they can put in the mouth to help break the habit.

 

[lovetoscrap]

My doctor told me that once you get strep you will always be more susceptible to it than people who have never had it. Also removing the tonsils will not eradicate the possibility of having strep, it just won't be as painful because the tonsils are gone.

That is different than my experience. I had my tonsils removed in college after several years of numberous strep and tonsillitis infections. The change was dramatic. I haven't had one case of strep that I can remember since then and that was looooong time ago.

 

[Hemlock]

My niece (8) was a thumb sucker and her dentist put in some sort "apparatus" that prevents you from putting your thumb in your mouth. You couldn't see it when you looked at her, but she talked "funny" for the first few days that she had it in. When she opened her mouth to show me, it seemed like it was attached to her back teeth and looked kinda like upside-down heart. It worked like a charm!

 

[katieandemismom]

As an old thumb-sucker myself, I say let it go for now. It's obvious that it is a soother for him, and if he's just doing it at home, I'd let it go. Most likely he will stop on his own when he's ready. I stopped when I got my braces (I only did it at night when no one was around). If that is the worst habit he has, I'd be quite pleased.

FWIW - I read a study that said a lot of type A personalities were thumb-suckers as children. It's a control thing and a way to de-stress.

 

[minkydog]

good luck. I was not a thumb sucker, but I became a fingernail biter at 15 months. I am now 54 and all my nails except my thumbnails are bitten all the way down to the cutic;e. You read that right. the nail beds are totally exposed and dried out.

I can understand how your DS feels. Nail biting, for me, is a way to manage feelings. Just because he can control it at school doesn't mean he can control it all the time. Nothing my mother ever did made a bit of difference. Not the nasty tasting nail polish. Not humiliation. Not bribery. Not even peer pressure has been able to deter the nail biting.It drives my DH crazy but he has resigned himself to it.

i believe finger sucking and nail biting are probably a form of OCD. In my situation neither medication nor therapy has helped. I will probably go my grave with absolutely no fingernails at all. I don't have any magic cures for you. I just want you to understand that your son may not be able to help it.

 

[SalandJeff]

My dd is also 7 and sucks the same 2 fingers. She does it when she is tired mostly. She does have some sensory issues, and I know she does it as a self-soothing tool. At her last dentist appt, he said it was not affecting her mouth at this point and that we should just gently discourage her. She sometimes falls asleep this way, so I gently pull her fingers out of her mouth. He did mention the apparatus that is put in the mouth if she does not stop before it starts affecting her mouth/teeth.

I would speak with his dentist about it. He can offer suggestions. But it seems to me that it is something that our kids feel the need to do at this point, so I would not push him too hard.

 

[Nette]

I don't think I would read too much into this. As someone who sucked their fingers for WAY too long, I think I can say that it's not always a sign of some sort of disfunction. I also don't have any mouth issues. Never had braces, never needed them. Eventually I just got to a point where *I* wanted to quit and so I did. Cold turkey no biggie.

My father also sucked his thumb until 6th grade. He turned out ok, also with no mouth issues.

Honestly, if it comforts him, and he can control it, then I don't see the harm. Everyone needs a way to self-comfort. Be glad it's finger sucking and not binging on junk food. I would try to convince him to really clean his hands and nails before sucking them in hopes of reducing the strep infections. But some kids are just more prone to strep... My brother was, and he was not a finger sucker at all.

 

[XYSRUS]

As an old thumb-sucker myself, I say let it go for now. It's obvious that it is a soother for him, and if he's just doing it at home, I'd let it go. Most likely he will stop on his own when he's ready. I stopped when I got my braces (I only did it at night when no one was around). If that is the worst habit he has, I'd be quite pleased.

FWIW - I read a study that said a lot of type A personalities were thumb-suckers as children. It's a control thing and a way to de-stress.

This...I say let it be. Let's not micro manage!

 

[golfgal]

Him sucking his fingers is not increasing his susceptibility to strep. I know plenty of kids that never sucked their thumbs or fingers that were constantly getting strep-my DD included. I, on the other hand, was a thumb sucker and NEVER got strep-even when my 3 siblings would have it-at the same time.

I would NOT take this away now, before his surgery. You might find that his throat will be sore enough that he won't WANT to suck his fingers and that might stop it already. After he is healed, I would tell him that since he is 7, finger sucking needs to be done in his bed only. If he feels he needs to suck on his fingers, he needs to go into his room. It would be the same as a toddler you are trying to wean off a pacifier. Let him break the habit himself.