HELP! Could have a holiday disaster looming!

[dossie]

Ok guys I need some piece of mind but its rather a long story.
We are off in 10 days to the World, having been waiting nearly 19 months since arranging. Vow renewal at Yacht and Beach, first time for our two littlies age 3 and 5 - a VERY special occasion but one that we (selfishly you might say) want to do entirely on our own - me, DW, DS and DD ONLY!
My in laws have a habit of thinking they can "surprise" us (read - turn up unannounced) and despite us telling them, and my wife's sisters etc, why we want to do it alone I have a sneaking suspicion something is afoot.

Lovely people, but it will really ruin our holiday! My DW swears blind there is no way they will turn up out of the blue but I have just had a strange call from my DMiL (Mother in Law) who rarely talks to me on the fone anyway but really pounding me for our itinerary.

Maybe I am paranoid - maybe we should out and ask them - but seems really rude - worried they might think we were being presumptious etc.

Its a hard call and I need some advice from all you lovely people.

Sorry its rambling - getting myself a bit worked up here.

 

[Lizzy Lemon]

I'm sure they are lovely people and I know how you must feel, you really can't settle to enjoy yourself in case someone turns up. You will end up resenting them if you don't ask them to stop. If I were in your shoes I would not be entirely forthcoming with the information they are asking, just say you don't know your itinerary and in the future I would not mention any plans at all.

 

[Sazuburns]

Next time she asks, be vague about your itinerary, and then lay it on thick about how much you are looking forward to a holiday 'on your own, just the four of us' and how much you need that special time on your own. You could also say that you are keeping it all a surprise for your children, and you aren't telling anyone in case someone lets it slip.

It could just be that they want to send flowers or a fruit basket or something, so you could say that once you get there you will let them know where you will be.

Sarah x

 

[Hilary]

Tricky ...

I get the feeling that if you don't get it 'out in the open' before you go, you'll spend the whole time worrying that they might turn up. Are you close enough to your S-I-L (or anyone else) to tell them how it would really spoil things if your in-laws turned up - and ask them to make sure there's nothing planned and that the in-laws are left in no doubt how you'd feel if they joined you?

If that wouldn't be possible, perhaps you should resign yourself to making the best of the worst case scenario, if it happens. If they do turn up in Florida, maybe you could agree to meet them for dinner after the vow renewal - on condition they leave you alone for the ceremony itself.

 

[jtlover]

Or could it be that they want to send some surprises to your room?

 

[wils]

I would need to know before I left as otherwise I'd be on edge for the whole holiday (maybe unecessarily)

Not sure how you'd bring up the subject though - what a nightmare.

Fingers crossed they are planning a fruit basket rather than a Floridian trip! Let us know

 

[UKDEB]

You say they make a habit of it. Have they invited themselves on previous holidays and, if so, did they literally just turn up out of the blue, or were you aware of their plans in advance?

Since both you and your sisters-in-law have told them that this trip is just for the four of you, I can't imagine they'd be insensitive enough to ignore your wishes. I suspect they're simply trying to plan a surprise for your special trip. However, I'd be inclined to ask them outright. Yes, of course, you'll have to word it carefully, but a planned conversation ahead of your trip is likely to be better in the long run than the one I imagine you'll have if they turn up unnanounced.

 

[jns]

Ok they are DH family get him to talk to them , but get it sorted out now or else it will not only ruin your holiday but the excited of going too

Good luck

and if the worst comes to the worsted and they have everything booked , let them do they own thing and met them for dinner one night and do not feel guilty about it
you never asked them to go

 

[Andy B]

I think toy will find this is an anoying inconvenience, a disaster is a plane crash or the tsunami

 

[dee slack]

you could tip off US Immigration that they're baddies and shouldn't be let in
Seriously tho' I really feel for you, and think that you've got to somehow coax some info out of them, otherwise it could spoil your hols just thinking that they might turn up. You should do it ASAP rather than spending this time worrying rather than getting excited - good luck
We're also doing a VR in Dec and we just asked the family out of politeness really - and now we've got 8 of them coming - but we've told them from the start they are welcome to share our day with us, but the rest of the time is OURS ALONE! I'd prefer to do our VR alone, but DH is happy his family (and some of mine) are coming, so I can put up with that. I'm looking on the bright side - the guests can take lots of photo's and save us money!

 

[dossie]

I think toy will find this is an anoying inconvenience, a disaster is a plane crash or the tsunami

Accepted Andy! And I think I am being rather ungrateful really - they mean well and it is more paranoia than anything. I'm sure you all know what its like - we're getting so close to actually going on the dream of a holiday and all sorts of stuff starts to panic me that might stop us from having a good time. Think the two of us need to relax and see what happens and maybe be appreciative that we at least have a family that care less - it could be so worse. The vow renewal is about the two of us and the children so will be special whatever.

Nine days and we'll be in the happiest place on earth - who cares !!!! lol

Thanks for all your thoughts and ideas.

 

[Andy B]

Accepted Andy!

Thanks for taking my comments so well I realise they could be a little harsh, but really prompted by the over reaction sometimes seen on TV especially sports coverage, 'Tiger Woods suffered a disaster today when he dropped a shot on the last two holes to finish second' If thats a disaster, bring it on.

 

[PoppyAnna]

Do you know anyone that can check Airline passenger lists???

 

[Andy B]

Do you know anyone that can check Airline passenger lists???

and who doesn't mind breaking security protocols and data protection laws.

 

[tracipierce]

hmmm a little bit off topic, but it reminds me of my honeymoon when my DH's brother and all his friends turned up, first I knew about it was when I heard them all being rather loud on the plane. Then when we got to the Hotel they were 3 rooms away. Not a very romantic honeymoon spending it with 10 blokes I can tell you !
I think my DH knew about it and kept it from me, probably because he knew I would tell them in no uncertain terms that they were not allowed to come. It wasnt a one off either, we went on a total of 4 holidays together and each time my Dh's friends would be there too, needless to say we are no longer together
If it were me, I would have to ask the inlaws, if the itinery is mentioned again, I would just say 'oh are you planning a surprise for DW to be delivered, only I have organised something and I would hate for us to get the same thing' something along those lines??
HTH?

 

[richard_andmel]

Ok guys I need some piece of mind but its rather a long story.
We are off in 10 days to the World, having been waiting nearly 19 months since arranging. Vow renewal at Yacht and Beach, first time for our two littlies age 3 and 5 - a VERY special occasion but one that we (selfishly you might say) want to do entirely on our own - me, DW, DS and DD ONLY!
My in laws have a habit of thinking they can "surprise" us (read - turn up unannounced) and despite us telling them, and my wife's sisters etc, why we want to do it alone I have a sneaking suspicion something is afoot.

Lovely people, but it will really ruin our holiday!

You have been planning what you want to be an intimate affair for just your family for over a year and a half. You will be paying a fair amount of money, and if you are like us using a fair chunk of your annual holiday time on this "VERY special occasion." It is in no way selfish to want to keep it to yourselves. And if people you didn't invite turn up and ruin the experience you are planning, you are completely justified in my opinion in calling it a disaster.

I hope this all turns out ok.

Mel