Healing in the Dark Side...

[wanttobeinvienna]

Greetings! As I begin this journey of planning a spectacular family vacation, I go to my favorite resource...The Dis Boards! As I am reading, making financial spreadsheets, to do lists, and a thousand must know stickies- I realized... I need to do a PTR- to get feedback & to keep myself focused on the intent of this trip! So, welcome to the Cartwright Family Healing in the Dark Side Pre- Trip Report! I LOVE feedback & ideas- so as/if you read along, and think of anything I need to/should know- PLEASE TELL ME!!

So here we go!

Setting the scene:

I have been on the disboards for years... I started when I was planning my "family-moon" in 2009. After 6 years of being a single mom- I was finally getting married again (I have 2 kids, he had 2 kids- it was large and wonderful). The boards provided me with amazing information, and we had a family vacation that will live in our memories forever. The following year, was a giant 16 person family vacation! The tips and tricks I learned on these boards ensured incredible success!!

Unfortunately, what I couldn't learn from these boards, or the amazing vacations my family had during these years couldn't do was keep someone in a marriage who honestly had no desire to be married. So approximately one year after our 2010 family vacation, my kids and I returned home to a house that had been cleaned out. No goodbye, no words of comfort for the kids, just vanished. Gone. I never got to see my step daughters again. Or my in-laws. He just disappeared. To this day, I don't know how we got through that time.

With a large house, and a single income, I started making plans to move. Then pain struck again, when my beloved father, my best friend, and the man my children adored and looked up to with all of their might, was diagnosed with Lymphoma. We immediately moved home to be with him, and just 12 weeks later, we lost him. Within just 6 months- we had lost my husband, 2 step daughters, moved from our home, and then lost my dad. In the meantime- my kids displayed a sense of strength and trust I couldn't believe existed in any child. Both earning Presidential Academic Achievements in school, with exceptional conduct, excelling in their sports, and though sad at times, carried themselves with a grace and dignity I couldn't compete with.

As we tried to redefine normal in our lives, the final adversity in our triple threat hit when I was laid off from my job, 3 weeks before Christmas. Basically, 2012 just sucked, and I wasn't sure how life was going to move forward...

But there is truth in the words everything happens for a reason. As time passed I learned that my ex had been deceptive about his past, and it was catching up to him- it was a great thing the kids never saw that unfold. Though my dad's passing will never be OK, it allowed us to live in my parent's home, mortgage free, as I looked for a new job... and I was hired just weeks later for an organization I had been an avid supporter of, and my salary doubled overnight. The pain stayed with us...but finally, it is time for healing...

So- after putting in my time and proving myself in a new job...it is time to feel the benefits of the increased salary- and that includes 3 trips in 3 months time. A 5 day cruise in September with my mom and sister (my mom and dad were married over 40 years, the loss has been terrible for her, and my sister's boyfriend broke up with her shortly after my dad's passing). Then, in October, will be a long weekend for just adult's (my boyfriend--there is dating again!, my sister, and our friend!) and then the point of this PTR.... a much desired, very earned... VACATION!!!

To Be Continued...

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

So, we continue!

A little bit about the Cartwright's:

Me/Melissa/Mom- <--- my typical day at work. I am a Development Director for a statewide advocacy NPO. I absolutely love my job, our mission, and the flexibility it provides for my family! I am also a runner (training for my first marathon), a crafter, and a flex-vegan (I eat vegan 95% of my diet).

DS/Zeke/Son- - <--- he's my clown... He can always make me laugh. Have you ever heard of an old soul? That's my Zeke. He thinks before he speaks, has a gentle and forgiving spirit, and when you're around him- you know he's been through this before- and he's patient with us who are trying to figure it out. Interestingly, for all of these gentle qualities- he loves 2 things-- WWE wrestling & Football. His 3 biggest prides are that he a) was chosen to lay the wreath at the tomb of the unknown soldier in DC b) that he was also chosen to do a commercial with Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez, and c) that his PopWarner team has been undefeated for the past 4 years! My biggest pride? a) his heart

DD/Paxton/Daughter <--- My peace, love and rainbows baby. If Zeke has gone through this world before...Pax is just experiencing it for the first time. She is full of energy and excitement and the kind of love that radiates from her soul. She is sensitive, which can be her greatest gift and her greatest curse, but all in all, she looks to please people first. She says exactly what is on her mind...unfiltered. Luckily, she is a positive spirit, so unfiltered doesn't involve hurting feelings! Her greatest love is Gymnastics. After a few years of competitive cheer, she gave it up to focus on the gymnastics circuit, and is proving to be a great athlete. As long as she has practice, and her McKenna (American girl doll) near by, she has a smile on her face!

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

So- after years of Disney Trips of magical memories, why switch to a Universal Trip?

Well, I decided that though those memories made at WDW are priceless, it was time for us to break the routine and make fresh memories, in a new place. I haven't been to US since 2000, so much has changed. And with the kids ages, love for roller coasters, and movie preferences, I remembered that change was good, and this was a great time to embrace it!

Now- to back up a bit- growing up, I believed that my parents were the most spontaneous people EVER! We would wake up in the morning, and the car would be packed and they would say load up kids- we are going to Disney World! Now, it wasn't until I became a parent myself that I realized all of the penny saving & planning that went into these trips before we finally were clued in to it! I just remember that heart soaring feeling of the moment I would hear We're going to Disney World (just writing that got me teary!)

Well, I have done that with my own kids. With the fear that something could go wrong at any moment, forcing me to cancel a potential trip, I have always decided to have our trips be a surprise (the one exception was the giant 16 person family vacation).

But, this trip is a little different. I want to give them the opposite of surprise, the thrill of anticipation. But with surprises along the way... So for that, I have to plan the trip and decide what elements will be disclosed, and what I will hold close to my chest....

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

So, what will this trip look like? What are we going to do? How can I plan a trip to a place I haven't been to in over a decade? How structured/unstructured are we going? What are the must do's, the necessary extras????

Well, here's the beginning framework (keep in mind, we are platinum pass holders for Busch Gardens- giving us free admittance to BG Tampa and Sea World). (Also, I booked through the wonderful DisRes site, and was able to take advantage of the 4 nights, 3 days, 2 days free dining plan).

SOOOO--some plans

Sunday November 17-
Activity: Drive
Hotel: Comfort Inn Suites - paid
Food: On our Own
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner:

Monday November 18-
Activity: Islands of Adventure - paid
Hotel: Comfort Inn Suites - paid
Food: US Dining Plan – paid
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner: Mythos- 3:00 reservation

Tuesday November 19-
Activity: Universal Studios - paid
Hotel: Comfort Inn Suites – paid
Food: US Dining Plan – paid
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner:
Snack: Flaming Moe’s @ Moe’s Tavern

Wednesday November 20-
Activity: Islands of Adventure - paid
Hotel: Comfort Inn Suites - paid
Food:
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner: 3 Broomsticks? : Est: $12/M, $12/Z, $7/P,
Plus $9 for ButterBeer = $40

Thursday November 21-
Activity: Busch Gardens – paid
Hotel:
Food:
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner:

Friday November 22-
Activity: Sea World - paid
Hotel:
Food:
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner:


Saturday November 23-
Activity: Drive Home
Hotel: None
Food: On our own
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner:

That is the loose framework. Keep in mind that though I have a new job, with a decent salary, as a single mom, I am still pinching my pennies, and looking for creative ways to keep the costs of the trip LOW!!!! That will include making snack bags, carrying bottles of water, making special souvenirs, sharing meals, etc, etc that will ensure the trip will be a blast, but not out of my budget!

 

[-Hope-]

Wow, you guys really have been through a lot! I'm glad you're on the path to better days.

I loved reading your intro and the way you described your kids. I just love reading about parents who understand and appreciate their kids.

Your plans look good so far, can't wait to read more!

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

Thanks Hope! I do appreciate my kids- it's not to say there haven't been days I have been ready to pull my hair out But they are pretty amazing!!

I was drawn to your PTR because it looks like our kids are about the same age, and I love that you still do the fun, family activities with your crew- something we do still- but you don't see it often when they get older! That also means it's harder to find activities for their ages! Which is one of the reasons I have LOVED your PTR!!!

 

[Metro West]

Just a reminder about your dinners. Park hours will dictate your meal times (if you want to eat inside the parks) while visiting. Last year for example, the Studios closed at 7PM during most of your dates and food service ends 30 minutes prior to park closing. IOA closes a bit later during that week. If eating dinner somewhere between 5-6PM is a little early, there is always CityWalk to enjoy.

Also remember to be flexible and go with the flow. This isn't Disney where you have to plan everything 10 years in advance. Relax and enjoy yourselves.

 

[schumigirl]

Oh bless you all.......You have all been through some tough times last few years.

I hope you have the most magical trip. Family time is so important, you`ll have an amazing time at Universal

Looking forward to hearing about it

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

Just a reminder about your dinners. Park hours will dictate your meal times (if you want to eat inside the parks) while visiting. Last year for example, the Studios closed at 7PM during most of your dates and food service ends 30 minutes prior to park closing. IOA closes a bit later during that week. If eating dinner somewhere between 5-6PM is a little early, there is always CityWalk to enjoy.

Also remember to be flexible and go with the flow. This isn't Disney where you have to plan everything 10 years in advance. Relax and enjoy yourselves.

Thanks! It is a relief knowing that I can relax a little in the planning, instead of ironing out every minute of detail before we hit the parks!

Good to know about food service ending 30 min before close... I wasn't certain how late we could make a reservation. That said- I am considering the Bob Marley restaurant for our second table service dinner, we are a Bob Marley family But I am really interested in what everyone else ranks as the must visit table service restaurant!!!

 

[natebenma]

Now that I am back on the Uni TR boards, I have made it over to your PTR. I am so sorry about the losses your family has experienced and I am impressed with the grace you have shown dealing with these life changes.



Your kids sound great! Isn't it amazing how different two siblings can be? They are great ages to enjoy everything Universal and Islands of Adventure have to offer.

I didn't see any mention of their interest (or not) in Harry Potter. We are a family of Griffindorks, but even people who have not been exposed to the books or movies are blown away by the Wizarding World.

I'll certainly chime in with suggestions as I think of them, but the one I will mention now, if you don't know already, is that if you are a AAA member, show your card whenever you make a food or merchandise purchase in the theme parks and restaurants. Most will offer a 10% discount. This year we encountered a requirement that we had to spend $50 or more to get the discount (I don't remember that from 2 years ago), so keep this in mind when you are making purchases. I got a t-shirt I liked, and later my son decided he wanted one too, both were under the $50 limit, so I "returned" the one I had previously purchased and we rang them through again, together.

That is today's lesson.

 

[kittengal13]

Wow- I just have to say, I got teary reading your intro, you have been through so much and the part when you said you get teary just writing "we're going to disney world!", set me off again. I am so sorry for your troubles and I wish you every happiness in the future!!

Big hugs x

 

[macraven]

you've had some tough years there.
but the future looks brighter for you and your family.

sounds like you have a very fun adventure in november.


hope you continue with your trip report.

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

Now that I am back on the Uni TR boards, I have made it over to your PTR. I am so sorry about the losses your family has experienced and I am impressed with the grace you have shown dealing with these life changes.



Your kids sound great! Isn't it amazing how different two siblings can be? They are great ages to enjoy everything Universal and Islands of Adventure have to offer.

I didn't see any mention of their interest (or not) in Harry Potter. We are a family of Griffindorks, but even people who have not been exposed to the books or movies are blown away by the Wizarding World.

I'll certainly chime in with suggestions as I think of them, but the one I will mention now, if you don't know already, is that if you are a AAA member, show your card whenever you make a food or merchandise purchase in the theme parks and restaurants. Most will offer a 10% discount. This year we encountered a requirement that we had to spend $50 or more to get the discount (I don't remember that from 2 years ago), so keep this in mind when you are making purchases. I got a t-shirt I liked, and later my son decided he wanted one too, both were under the $50 limit, so I "returned" the one I had previously purchased and we rang them through again, together.

That is today's lesson.

Thanks for your kind words! I don't know if it's always been by grace, but I will tell you- good humor, faith and a large goblet of wine helps keep things in perspective

The kids are not huge HP fans...right now. Their aunt continues to try to get them to love it- but I *know* this trip is going to spark their interest!!! I am even thinking about getting the books on cd to listen to as we head down.

And thanks for the AAA tip- I am purchasing that membership next month!!

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

Wow- I just have to say, I got teary reading your intro, you have been through so much and the part when you said you get teary just writing "we're going to disney world!", set me off again. I am so sorry for your troubles and I wish you every happiness in the future!!

Big hugs x

Thank you so much! I just came across a picture of my parents when they visited Disneyland in the 70's and I got teary! HOT MESS


I think we are well on our way to happiness! And this trip is definitely going to kick it off right!

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

you've had some tough years there.
but the future looks brighter for you and your family.

sounds like you have a very fun adventure in november.


hope you continue with your trip report.

Thanks so much! As long as you guys don't mind me rambling on about my family- I will enjoy writing about the upcoming trip! It helps keep me focused!!!

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

Just a brief PTR update:


So, I have been swamped with work lately (I work in Development- basically fundraising, grant writing, donor cultivation, etc) which I am absolutely NOT complaining about- since I am thrilled to have a job - THAT I LOVE and am committed to the mission! But, they have an annual Gala- that last year only raised $2k. This year- they budgeted (before I was hired) $100K. That's right. $98K more than last year. So, that has been stressful! And then yesterday, somehow...and I am not sure how... I was convinced/told/roped in to putting together a fundraising Jamboree for my son's football league with their stepmom. She & I love doing things together- there's no better way to show the kids that we are all supportive of each other. However, I can't even imagine how in the WORLD I am going to get that done. AND THEN- I agreed to be his team's Team Mom. Good Lord Luckily, Paxton's gymnastics team doesn't require anything but giant checks

Anyways- about the trip-

So- Zeke and Paxton had their school orientations this week (we are year round- Zeke is going into 6th grade-- MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! and Paxton is going into 5th grade on Monday). On our way home, we were talking about our trip (remember- they have no idea what we are doing- just that we are going on a trip) and they were begging me to tell them where we were going. I just said I hadn't decided yet, and I was looking into different options (don't all good parents lie to their kids?)

Here was our conversation:

Zeke: "I think we're going to Universal Studios."
Paxton: "I hope we can visit Sea World too!"


Ummmmmm.......




Hm.


Smart little stinkers.


Me: "Hahaha...Guys- you know there is no way Mommy could afford to take us down to Universal Studios right now. I am sorry- I know that would be fun, but it's just out of the question."


Zeke: "That's ok Mom- we can go anywhere and have fun."

Paxton: "Yeah- we'll go to Sea World another time."



And then I had a mixture of complete pride & guilt & excitement!

This trip is going to blow them away!!!

 

[-Hope-]

That's so funny! They are going to FLIP when they find out!

 

[colachdec]

Just read this PTR and YOU blow me away! Your strength is amazing and inspiring.
Your trip will be so memorable for your children and yourself! I am looking forward to reading all the details

 

[Eureka]

Dinner: 3 Broomsticks? : Est: $12/M, $12/Z, $7/P,
Plus $9 for ButterBeer = $40

We just got back last weekend. We ate at Three Broomsticks: 4 meals, 3 butter beers, 1 water, 2 desserts. It was in the neighborhood of $75 AFTER the AAA discount. Just to help with you budgeting. I want to say a couple of the meals were $14.99 each.

We also had a blast at Margaritaville. My kids are 12 and 10, so about the same age as yours.