Having a Overload Money Request for Donation day

[canwegosoon]

First let me start by saying that I probably need to grow a spine! But today's request has me over the top.

Backround: In past week I have donated a large amount (for me) to the Tsumani Relief at my children's school. I have also donated another very large amount (4 figures) to their school fundraiser, as well as a college request for money, plus the usual church donations.

Today: My children come home with a request for another collection of change and their book drive (another$30)....I almost hit the roof. I know in the big scheme of things I should not let this bother me, but what do you do with all these requests for money....I can't even look the cashier in the eye afraid they will ask me to donate too

Does anyone have any advice? Thanks

 

[DAWGPOUNDAJ]

If it helps I remember back when I was in grade school they used ot do these candy bar drives. The teachers would give each student 4 boxes and you had to either sell them or pay the school for the box of candy. Here was the best part though, you had to participate! It wasn't like cookie drives where you can order X amount of boxes to sell, and then if you don't sell those you pay for the extra boxes you ordered. Nope, kids were just handed things and expected to go home and either get money from their families to pay for them or sell them. Teachers can be really pushy about things like that and sometimes the money is going for the school only, no relief funds of charity organizations! I think sometimes it might help to call the school and say enough is enough with the requests if they are being pushy about it. I actually landed myself suspended from my school for a week because I flat out refused to sell the candy because I felt it was against my "democratic principles." Of course I was only 12 at the time but perhaps you can sit your kids down and talk to them about this. It might really help give them a better perspective on when they ask for things like that. Hope this babbling helped a bit.

 

[swilshire]

No is a good word. You should have practice with the word since you have children.

I'm sure I'm considered a real Scrooge at the four different schools my offspring attend, but I say No more often than Yes. I also say No to the Combined Federal Campaign at work, because I already give as much as I can comfortably afford to the individual charities I support.

Draw the line at your comfort level and don't be embarrassed. Others may admire you for taking a stand.

JMHO.

Sheila

 

[summerrluvv]

No is a good word. You should have practice with the word since you have children.

I'm sure I'm considered a real Scrooge at the four different schools my offspring attend, but I say No more often than Yes. I also say No to the Combined Federal Campaign at work, because I already give as much as I can comfortably afford to the individual charities I support.

Draw the line at your comfort level and don't be embarrassed. Others may admire you for taking a stand.

JMHO.

Sheila

I was saying YES YES YES to everything when my son started kindergarten this year. Now I've learned to say NO NO NO LOL. Especially after the last fundraiser we received from "Schwans Foods" where it was $20 for a gallon of ice cream! NO THANKS!

 

[crisi]

I write the PTO a check at the beginning of the year with a "we won't participate in fundraisers" note. I find it criminal that there are companies making a profit off this junk. I don't need overpriced wrapping paper in my life, and I'm not a Happenings book user.

 

[luvsgrumpy]

You are not alone. My motto is "you can only do what you can do". My kids had 6 fundraisers going at one time this year, not to mention various others at different times. We either spread it out to participate a little bit in many things, or else decide that if something is extra special or important, then that is the main focus. I think there are more people that agree with your thinking that it is too much than you realize. Helping out, giving back, and donating are important things to do, something that we are teaching the Cub Scout pack that my boys are in, but it doesn't always have to be money.
Just remember, you can always say no!

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

I am proud to say that our PTA completely shifted their whole fundraising goals. We have one catalog fundraiser in the Fall and everything else comes from family activities which parents can choose to attend or not: Bingo Night, Sock Hop, Silent Auction, etc. It's a lot more work but our parents really appreciate the effort and the fact that they aren't being nickel and dimed to death.

 

[ceecee]

We have all of the fund raisers in the fall it seems. Our PTO does Market Day which isn't too bad (Sam's is cheaper). The magazine sales are so high I don't do that. I did send in a check for $20.00 so she could "win" a prize which was jolly ranchers and a pen! WOW! They do these assemblies at school and get the kids all excited and you hate to say no, but enough is enough.

 

[canwegosoon]

Thank you everyone for my mild rant (there was also a request for $12 for a project my boys were doing in class)....I wanted to add that my boy's school was to have eliminated all fundraisers in leui of one major donation which we did in September (not the even larger donation I am currently doing for Feb)...The kicker is I also am a Den Leader for the Cubscouts too(which I love), but I also pick up alot of expenses there too. Just a really bad day...I do think that I am going to write a note, and send in the one check next year.

Thanks again everyone...I just feel like an awful mom telling my kids that we have already donated for this "change for tsnaumi" last week($100), and they don't need another Computer game from the book sale (we already have more than enough)

 

[powellrj]

I was just thinking the same thing this morning as I was writing 2 more checks for things at my kids schools.

I went to our churches missions meeting last night, and they have developed a matrix of what they give to by assigning everyone one and everything thing a number. How many numbers we are able to pay is determined by how much money we have. I thought this was a great idea and I think I will start doing this at home too! Maybe I will not feel so bad about not giving to everyone and everything.

 

[Becky2005]

I write the PTO a check at the beginning of the year with a "we won't participate in fundraisers" note. I find it criminal that there are companies making a profit off this junk. I don't need overpriced wrapping paper in my life, and I'm not a Happenings book user.

Actually, this is the one thing I *LOVE* about our school ...they have an "unfundraiser" at the beginning of the school year. What they do is they flat out ask you for direct money, they suggest $30/child or $45 family I believe it is (but will take any amount, so if you could only send in $5 that's fine!). In doing that, we have NO door-to-door selling of any products (no wrapping paper, no candy bars, no magazines, etc...). There is always a disclaimer that it is possible they may need to do so for fundraisers if not enough this way, etc... They just started it the year before my DD entered Kindergarten and she's a 5th grader now and there has never been a need to do the other selling. They almost always meet their goal if not exceed it.

They of course, still do other fundraising type things with Market Day, Book Fair, Fun Fair, Box Tops, etc... And I know the 4th graders sell ice cream every couple weeks 1x a week at lunchtime as a fundraiser for the 5th grade Outdoor Ed program, so that the cost is reduced in general.

I have enough to do with DD being in gymanstics (fundraising there), Girl Scouts (fundraising there) and DS in Cub Scouts (fundraising there)

 

[dizcrazy]

Reminds me of the bumper sticker

IT WILL BE A GREAT DAY WHEN OUR SCHOOLS GET ALL THE MONEY THEY NEED AND THE AIR FORCE HAS TO HOLD A BAKE SALE TO BUY A BOMBER.


sometimes I wonder where all of my school taxes go!

 

[MrsPete]

Say no! None of us can do everything we're asked to do, and none of us can donate to every worthwhile organization that asks. Don't feel bad about it.

 

[Taja]

I don't have children, but I try to help support the children of family, friends and colleagues. That puts the number at about 30, from university age down to preschool!

I've developed a firm rule that I will participate in one event per child per school year to a maximum of $10 per child. I prefer a direct contribution where the funds are actually used for the school or group, rather than going to outside organizations.

We had a "carnival" in grammar school each year that was organized by the administrators, teachers and parents. The parents purchased materials that were made into rather tacky prizes (loved by the students), and some of the students (including yours truly) were involved in making the prizes under parental supervision. The booths were made by the parents and used from year to year, and tickets were sold for the games and to purchase baked goods and other food (my father and a neighbor usually manned the barbeque). It was fun and really brought the families together!

In high school we were required to sell candy one year to raise money for lights for the football field. The candy we were supposed to sell was awful and overpriced (not to mention I detested football!). I refused to participate and was suspended for a week. My parents and I wrote formal complaints to the district administrators, and the suspension was removed from my record and I was allowed to make up the work missed.

And some people think high school was the best time of their life?

 

[denisenh]

Actually, this is the one thing I *LOVE* about our school ...they have an "unfundraiser" at the beginning of the school year. What they do is they flat out ask you for direct money, they suggest $30/child or $45 family I believe it is (but will take any amount, so if you could only send in $5 that's fine!). In doing that, we have NO door-to-door selling of any products (no wrapping paper, no candy bars, no magazines, etc...). There is always a disclaimer that it is possible they may need to do so for fundraisers if not enough this way, etc... They just started it the year before my DD entered Kindergarten and she's a 5th grader now and there has never been a need to do the other selling. They almost always meet their goal if not exceed it.

I think that is a great idea!!!! Why should I buy another candle for $25. (or whatever) when the school gets part of the $$ and the candle company gets the rest?
I would rather give $25. to the school.
I have, in fact, just written a check as a donation instead of participating, but my dd complains that she won't get a prize for selling "x" number of items.
I don't like that they pump these little kids up to win a [insert the biggest prize for selling 500 items] when I don't think anyone ever does anyway.

 

[rsschneck]

I am amazed at all of the negative comments about school fundraisers. I am just wondering if any of you attend the PTO meetings on a regular basis or volunteer at your child's school? I am not June Cleaver, but I feel my child's education is very important. Our schools have lack of funding for the extra items that they want our children to have (ie. new library books, field trips, computers, art literacy, cultural events, etc.) Folks that do not have children do not want to increase their taxes so our kids get a good education.

I have cut down to working 2 days per week so that I can be home on the days my child has off from school. I volunteer in my child's classroom 2 days every week, attend every PTO meeting, participate in our fundraisers, pop can drive (which the kids decided to donate for Tsunami relief), field trips, class parties, auction, girl scout leader, etc. etc. etc. I am there to make sure she gets the best education she can. The schools really need everything they get in addition to their federal and state funding. I do not pay for a private school. I still believe in public education, but that comes with a price too!

Sorry, I will get off of my soap box now!

 

[3guysandagirl]

I am so glad you brought that up!! Before my DS was in school I had no idea where that PTA/PTO money went. Now that he is in school and I am a part of PTA I just can't get over what wouldn't happen at school if it weren't for PTA and the fundraisers. At our school we are currently working on a fundraiser for a screen (that you show movies and overheads on). It blows my mind that this is not something that the school district would buy!! I think that people should really get involved and find out exactly where their fundraising money is going. You would probably be very surprised!!

I'll stop this rant now.

 

[JodyTG]

I know why the school district my daughter goes to has the kids do fundraisers. Football, football, football. The school district just built a brand new state-of-the-art football stadium (that's stadium, not field) for the high schools. This thing is HUGE and is bigger and better than quite a few college stadiums.

Why did the football teams need this, you may ask. They didn't. But this is Texas and football here is just one level under God. The orchestra members, on the other hand, have to either pay a participation fee or fundraise to earn it. This is just for the priviledge to be IN orchestra (instruments cost extra; oh and copies of music, too) and being able to take a school bus to one (maybe two) competitions in the school year. No, wait...I had to pay for that too last year.

The football players, on the other hand, get free participation, free uniforms, free equipment (except for shoes) and free rides on the school bus to however many games are played...the more the better.

Hmmm...so what does our school taxes get spent on...

 

[rsschneck]

Hmmm...so what does our school taxes get spent on...

EDUCATION

 

[Stacerita]

Im glad there are other who feel like I do about fundraising. It seems like all I do is work with the sweetpea participating in fund raisers. Although I know that the money is for a good cause (usually) I just can't justify always participating. I have opted to write a check for a few of them just so I wouldn't need to sell over priced nuts or candles. And just when one fundraiser ends, another is getting set for its kickoff. And thats just for the school. The sweetpea is involved in sports and other activities, so guess what?.....more fundraising. Its been a quiet January so far except for the tsumani donations/fundraising and the pennies for patients fund raiser. I couldn't be so lucky to just have those for this month, starting this weekend I get to go out and sell those yummy cookies for Juliet Lowe (aka girl scouts). How am I to face family and friends with a smile on my face once they spy the order form in my hand. But alas.......its for a good cause.