Have you ever kicked yourself for a shot you DID get?

[NateNLogansDad]

This weekend the family and I took a day trip to NY to see the Statue of Liberty and Ground Zero. We took the regular, touristy pictures around the Statue but at Ground Zero I think I overstepped my own boundaries by a whole lot.

I can get sentimental at times and I'll be the first one to tell you how I lost it twice now inside St Paul's Chapel (a church near Ground Zero where the firefighters would rest while fighting the fires on 9/11 and later turned into a memorial of sorts for a while) while reading letters written by children to either the NYPD/FD or to loved one's that they lost. To say that I wanted to break down when we stepped into Ground Zero would be an understatement, but I did hold it together for the most part.

Here's where I have a problem with myself. Inside the memorial, I took pictures of the waterfalls, the plaques, the trees, etc but then I snapped a few of families who were grieving. A long time ago I was told that a good picture sparks some kind of emotion from the person viewing it, and these really did. Honestly the pictures themselves came out really nice, but after viewing them I felt like they were never supposed to be taken. I felt like scum for stealing that moment from them even though they had no idea. I deleted them all because I never want to change my mind and post them on the net or show another person.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? At the time, I was just totally in the moment but now I just feel like a tool.

Would you have taken the shots? If you did, would you have kept them? I don't regret deleting them I'm just looking to see what others would have done.

 

[Gianna'sPapa]

I look at from two perspectives. As a photographer, our job or responsibility sometimes is to record the emotion of the moment. I think if it is done with respect for all, then I wouldn't have a problem with it. Because I don't care what anyone says, we will never forget nor should we for what happened that day. If it takes an image to keep that memory from fading, again, I don't have a problem with it. This leads me to the second perspective of me standing before the Viet Nam Memorial (The Wall). I have never had a problem with anyone taking a picture. If it helps the photographer to feel what I felt or others who view the image not to forget those 58,000 names, then I would support the photographer. If the image was used in what I would consider to be an inappropriate way to dishonor the sacrifice of those men and women, I would be upset. I don't know if this answers your question but for me, its all in the use of the image.

 

[goopysolelady]

Gianna'sPapa's comment is seconded by me. I don't think I'd have deleted the photos though. I'd want to keep them to remind myself, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc. of the shock, horror...and pride we all felt that day. Just as Gianna'sPapa, my DH proudly stood by The Wall, remembering and paying his respects and would not have minded had anyone photographed him. He's proud he served and thankful he survived. I personally feel the survivors of the 9-11 victims will one day be proud, knowing the loss of their loved ones brought our country together with great pride. They were the "warriors" of this generation and will always be remembered as such. I'd have probably taken the pictures "by accident". I tend to focus on "subjects" and often don't realize there are people in my photos until I view them. I'd also be willing to say your visit has you emotionally drained. Don't feel guilty; you didn't visit to "take pictures of the survivors"...you went to pay your respects.

 

[klmall]

My situation in a sad way is also connected to 9/11. Back then my sister delivered a son a couple of days before on Sept. 9th.

Everything appeared fine at first and we were all excited but things quickly went downhill as the baby was discovered to have a severe heart defect missed in five ultrasounds. Because of the flight restrictions no plane could be sent to move the critical baby from Washington, DC to Children's Hospital in Philly (CHIPs) so an ambulance which couldn't hold my DSis and DBIL made the trip.

The next week is pretty much a blur of my mom, DSis, DBIL and me living in Philly and watching the wonderful staff at CHIPs try to keep her baby alive. There's much more to the story but I won't detail it here other than to say that a baby in the next bed was recovering from surgery for the same condition that had been caught by ultrasound in pregnancy so the pain was almost unbearable particularly for my sister; knowing that this could have been different.

By the end of the week we were told the baby (Isaiah) should be let go. In all the hurry to diagnose him, move him etc. no one had taken pictures. So when it came time for each of us to go into the private room for time with Isaiah, I went in with my Mom and debated with myself.......and I took pictures of my beautiful, healthy looking nephew; pictures of my Mom lovingly holding Isaiah and me holding Isaiah.

My Mom and I have seen these pictures and talked about them but no one else has. My sister knows they exist but 10 years later the pain is still too hard to view them.

Am I glad I took them? Yes. Would I throw them or the negatives away? Never. She might want to see them someday or his brother or half-brother might want to see them when they grow up. They are in middle and high school now. Who knows.

 

[photo_chick]

If it was a public area you did not overstep your bounds at all. As long as you didn't disturb the families you shouldn't feel badly.

Klmall- stories similar to yours are why organizations like Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep exist. Those angels who were only with us or a brief moment in time should never be forgotten.

 

[Marlton Mom]

Ya know.... I thought long and hard about this and in a sense, everyone grieves, who thinks about the events of September 11th.

We all process this grieving in a different way. You are no different than the person with a sketch pad that chooses to process their grief using that method. Our art can help us with our emotions, especially in a time of great sorrow. In a way, you were using photography to help you cope. So don't beat yourself up.

I looked into taking a trip up to the monument to take pictures. On the website the rules were very clear. They will not let tripods in and they do not want professional photography. http://www.911memorial.org/photography

It kind of struck me that they would allow any kind of photography but then I realized just how import photography can be for helping to process the grief. I think they did too. You weren't trying to take these pictures for the wrong purposes. You were taking them to try and process the emotions you were feeling.

It's all good Rob!

~ Joanie

 

[SrisonS]

I don't feel you were wrong at all to have taken those photos. I see it as just documenting the emotions of the memorial. Some of the most powerfum pictures out there are the ones that show raw emotion. Unfortunately, this emotion usually stems from a tragic event. But at long as the pictures aren't used in a distasteful manner, I see no harm in them. It kinda broke my heart when you said you deleted them though. Not that I would've asked to see them, but still.

 

[krb2g]

You weren't crashing a funeral or memorial service; you did not break into these peoples' homes to take pictures of them. You were not going to use these pictures to sell a product or to put out your own message. I don't generally take pictures of other people (at least not that focus on them) when I'm out in public, but part of being out in public (in a place that allows photography) is the risk that your picture will be taken. As long as you are not taking pictures of people to harass them (and as long as you are willing to stop if someone asks you politely to stop taking pictures of them) I see nothing wrong with taking pictures in a public place.

 

[NateNLogansDad]

I really appreciate everyone's feedback, thank you guys very much. Maybe some day I will regret deleting those pictures, but for now I'm glad that I did. I do have a few that, to me, were more tasteful and appropriate than the pain I had captured in the families eyes. I'm sure if I saw the same pictures captured by another camera I would have no problem looking at them and feeling some of the pain they were going through, but for now I didn't want to be known as the guy that pushed the shutter. As far as they know, they were allowed to grieve together by themselves and I'm glad I can leave it at that.

I didn't throw away everything, just what I thought made it too personal. I still kept things like these......

Oh yea, and just in case you have me on Google+, these were my boys and they gave me permission

 

[NateNLogansDad]

My situation in a sad way is also connected to 9/11. Back then my sister delivered a son a couple of days before on Sept. 9th.

Everything appeared fine at first and we were all excited but things quickly went downhill as the baby was discovered to have a severe heart defect missed in five ultrasounds. Because of the flight restrictions no plane could be sent to move the critical baby from Washington, DC to Children's Hospital in Philly (CHIPs) so an ambulance which couldn't hold my DSis and DBIL made the trip.

The next week is pretty much a blur of my mom, DSis, DBIL and me living in Philly and watching the wonderful staff at CHIPs try to keep her baby alive. There's much more to the story but I won't detail it here other than to say that a baby in the next bed was recovering from surgery for the same condition that had been caught by ultrasound in pregnancy so the pain was almost unbearable particularly for my sister; knowing that this could have been different.

By the end of the week we were told the baby (Isaiah) should be let go. In all the hurry to diagnose him, move him etc. no one had taken pictures. So when it came time for each of us to go into the private room for time with Isaiah, I went in with my Mom and debated with myself.......and I took pictures of my beautiful, healthy looking nephew; pictures of my Mom lovingly holding Isaiah and me holding Isaiah.

My Mom and I have seen these pictures and talked about them but no one else has. My sister knows they exist but 10 years later the pain is still too hard to view them.

Am I glad I took them? Yes. Would I throw them or the negatives away? Never. She might want to see them someday or his brother or half-brother might want to see them when they grow up. They are in middle and high school now. Who knows.

I don't know how to respond to that without getting all choked up at work. I am truly truly sorry for what you went through Thank you for sharing that. I promise you it will always be in the back of my mind from now on.

 

[klmall]

I don't know how to respond to that without getting all choked up at work. I am truly truly sorry for what you went through Thank you for sharing that. I promise you it will always be in the back of my mind from now on.

Thank you NateNLogansDad....No response expected but I can tell you that I ended up taking an additional two weeks off from work just to pull myself together afterwards and I still cry whenever I write about this time in our lives.

My DSis has had a particularly hard life in general but you would never know it from talking with her; she is a wonderful, loving person. Some of my favorite pictures are those taken of her smiling while holding her children, or nieces and nephews.

 

[Wishes2you]

As photographers we take photos for many different reasons! And there are times when we get caught up in the emotion and take photos. I don't think you were wrong to take them. I have taken photos of emotional private moments in public that only my eyes have seen. As long as it is done with respect ...you are documenting history. Like a previous person said, "We should never forget!"
Like with all photos they help jog our memory of the details.