have you ever heard of weddinggreen.com ?

[pintradingwedding]

do you think it is legit?

does it seem tacky? to register for money instead of gifts?

it's just, I really don't need a toaster oven or a glass vase. I need some cash to help pay for my disney wedding!

 

[littleladykaty]

Personally, I would say YES it is tacky to register for money. You can let your mom or whoever know that you would prefer "giftcards" or money gifts instead of toasters, but to downright ask for it is not polite.

y'know what is funny...here in Jersey, money is what is given as wedding gifts. There is not gift table...just a box on the bride and grooms table with a slot in the top for "cards"...gifts are given at wedding showers...money is given as wedding gifts. Of course getting married here is so outrageously expensive that it makes sense to help defer the cost of your invite!

I had this conversation w/ my mom b/c my fiance and I are getting married in Oregon where they still bring big boxes full of toasters and vases and steak knives and wedding china. I don't need these things...I have these things. What we need is CASH. So I told my mom to go ahead and nicely spread the word that cash or giftcards would be easiest for us as we have to travel back to New Jersey AND we have a home set up already...we have all the appliances and things that we need.


but to ask for it and/or register for it, IS tacky in my opinion...and Emily Post's opinion AND ask Carly's (from the Knot) opinion! There is just an order to weddings...rituals are so funny. Perhaps you should get married here in New Jersey!!! You'll get the green baby!!!

 

[Ember]

I have to say that I do find this very tacky. I also find it sad that couples spend so much time focused on the presents and how to ensure they get what they want. It just sucks the joy out of giving and makes the wedding gift seems like it's "due and payable."

If people ask directly what you would like as a gift, that's when it's okay to say something like: "We really don't need anything at all so we haven't registered." This is enough to give most people the hint that you would prefer cash. Otherwise just accept graciously what people give you - it was given with love.

 

[pintradingwedding]

Actually i'm spending ZERO time thinking about what presents people will give me. The thought of a registry has NO APPEAL.

The problem is I'm 40 years old and have all the 'stuff' i need. I don't need another toaster oven or a waterford crystal vase.

But I am trying to throw an amazing Disney wedding -- not just for me but for my guests. I don't want to drag them to another tacky 'chicken dance/macarena' wedding or the classic lovely but dull 'new england' wedding.

But throwing them a great, fun, entertaining wedding at disney means hiring actors and musicians and a big spread of yummy food and blah, blah, blah. Which costs a lot of money. And I'm not rich.

So rather than register for dinnerware, it would be great if I could register for a plate of Main Street Tollhouse cookies at the reception.

I personally wouldn't mind if I was going to a wedding and they had registered with paypal. I would happily click and donate $200 rather than buy them the $200 comforter they registered for at Pottery Barn. But maybe that's just me!

 

[Rustyflwr3]

I say do what you think is best for you and your fiance. If you don't need any of the typical wedding gifts then you are not wrong for not wanting to register for them. You are just trying to figure out an alternative, which is completely understandable. I dont know whether asking for money is right or wrong. I am not going to do it, but I am going to register for the typical wedding gifts. You should do what you feel is right for you. You know your guests, so try and think about how your best friend or your cousin would react to that type of registry!

If I was going to a wedding and the couple registered for money, I would absolutely not have a problem with that. If that is what the need or want, then I have no right to judge Just as I hope no one will feel negatively towards me for asking for an electric grill!

 

[melmel]

I think if you truely want only money, then not registering at all sends a clear message. That way when people ask about the registry, which everyone does, just say we have everything, so we couldn't think of anything to register for. I think actually registering for money is a bit much. I've heard of vacation registries and such, and at least that seems a 'little' less give-me but still. I think that the best bet is to just spread the word, either yourself or through family. Parents can be great for this. Another reason to not ask for money outright is people are going to go they want how much, and I have to pay how much to go TOO. I think all in all asking for money is bad, but I'm a bit more traditionalist so you may not agree.

Good luck.

Melissa

 

[pintradingwedding]

I really hope I don't come off sounding like a materialistic girl. Because I definitely am not! Although when I was a kid, I did make it clear to Santa Claus that I did NOT want any clothes for christmas TOYS ONLY PLEASE SANTA

 

[JonetteA]

We used honeymoonwishes.com to register for excursions for our honeymoon. I guess you could use the money for anything that you wanted. We are going to send pictures of us on the different excursion to those that bought them...(hope that makes sense.)

 

[littleladykaty]

Are girls from Jersey the only ones who already have in place the whole "getting cash instead of gifts" thing? Presents are for bridal showers...right?

do any other states do this? Is it an East Coast thing or just the Northeast?

interesting...makes sense that Jersey does this...loud, straight to the point...that's us!

 

[JJClemson]

Are girls from Jersey the only ones who already have in place the whole "getting cash instead of gifts" thing? Presents are for bridal showers...right?

do any other states do this? Is it an East Coast thing or just the Northeast?

interesting...makes sense that Jersey does this...loud, straight to the point...that's us!

Yeah this must be an NJ thing. My FMIL (who is from SC) asked how our guests were going to bring the gifts to Disney. I told her I was just expecting to get money, because you get your registry gifts at the shower. Well she looked at me like I was a crazy snob (as she often does ). She said she has never heard of such a thing.

But, yes Katy, you're exactly right. Every wedding I have been to at home in NJ, there is either a small box for envelopes or a member of the bridal party walks around w/ a nice pillow case collecting the money. We definitely do not have gift tables.

Definitely makes sense that Jersey does this. I wish everywhere else did too! I am glad more members from my family are invited to our wedding

 

[pintradingwedding]

I want to go to Belize on my honeymoon but it's a $6000 package! So we'll probably just stick around disneyworld after the wedding and honeymoon there!

sounds like on honeymoonwishes.com I can register for a plate of Main STreet Tollhouse cookes, Donald Duck pins, and Pirates Of The Caribbean souvenirs instead of pottery barn stuff. COOL !

I'm a 10 year old trapped in a 40 year old's body

 

[smoof]

Are girls from Jersey the only ones who already have in place the whole "getting cash instead of gifts" thing? Presents are for bridal showers...right?

do any other states do this? Is it an East Coast thing or just the Northeast?

interesting...makes sense that Jersey does this...loud, straight to the point...that's us!

It is a Northeast thing to give money, actually, I am not even sure if it is a Northeast thing or a NY Metropolitan area thing. I live in Virginia now, and when I was younger (in college or right out of college when you are very poor) I didn't give money gifts, but as I got older I gave better gifts. I was appauled when my husband bought his friend an iron as a wedding gift.