Momlificient - You've had LOTS of questions on this. I know it can be hard to wrap your hands around it. I hope I can give you help you out on getting a handle on this.
I've rented points three times from three different members on this board. One had many posts and the two others didn't. I went to Mousesavers to read up on how to verify owner name through county records. I did verify the two low point posters. They provided their name upfront. I had a contract for two out of three. It's very seldom you hear about being burned on this board from the rent/trade section. Not to say that it doesn't happen at all, but rarely. The odds are in your favor.
If you're looking for specific accommodations (like 3 bdrm) it's best to be very flexible with where you stay instead of being set on one resort. If there is one night that's not available then do give the owner permission to book you a cash reservation for that night (be ready to pay up front for it) and see if they would be willing to put the points on a waitlist for you. I'm not saying they will do this when they have so many people wanting to rent but it's worth a shot.
Having maid service isn't required, really. You don't have maid service at home daily, right? I promise, you won't miss having someone make your bed for you or doing quick clean ups. It's something I thought would matter to me a lot when I stayed DVC accommodations for the first time. I was pleasantly surprised. If you really can't live without it then just book one day full service housekeeping service mid-week and get the towel package.
Studios do not have washer/dryers there is a laundry room to use at no cost to you. I tote the travel size Tide and fill it up with Tide w/Downy that I get it from Target.
You can find the points chart on the link below. You can't just use the back button to recalculate so do hit "calculate a new whatever yada yada" button. Calculate the points for the dates and resorts that you'd be interested in so you know what you need.
http://www.wdwinfo.com/resort/dvcpoint.cfm
The best thing you can do is respond on a thread on the Rent/Trade board right now before availability is gone. You need to find someone with a large amount of points. Trying to rent between multiple owners to complete your entire stay should only be used as a last resort. But if you do have to do this then have each owner note the other reservation so you won't have to move rooms.
Be complete in your request. Give the owner at least three resort options. Have your dates spelled out for them. If you're flexible on dates then give the alternate days also. The reason to give them so much information is because they have to call MS to check availaibility. They are on hold, going through the different options w/the reservation agent, etc. This isn't online and can be time consuming.
When they do come back with availability then you should let them know right away if you're interested or not. Not getting back with them for several days may result in you losing your spot. No response to them = you've moved on. You may even want to consider giving them your phone number via e-mail so when they have something you can confirm it and get it booked.
Be ready to pay via Paypal. It's the payment of choice.
Keep in mind there are stricter cancellation policies unlike booking direct with Disney. You'll typically have a 30-90 day window. I think cancellation policies with DVC have changed recently so that's why the window has such a large swing. The owner will let you know when you can cancel for a refund. It's the point of no return so to speak.
Yes, even with all of these quirks it's still a good value to rent points.