Has your spouse or significant other...

[jamsmom]

Has your spouse or significant other made you feel like they were TRYING to pick a fight or cause conflict?

And, if you are a man, why do you do this? Do you realize how this makes us feel?

 

[glo]

hhhmmmmm...sounds very familiar right now
Hope you have better luck than I did

 

[Goofyposter]

Has your spouse or significant other made you feel like they were TRYING to pick a fight or cause conflict?

Carol....

no....I can't say I've ever sponsored intentionally any 'conflict' with the design to create havoc in my relationship with Mrs. G.

"Fights" are nothing to be "achieved" in my humble opionion....Sure...from time to time there are honest disagreements that may develop...but never with any intentional desire to cause unnecessary distress to my "so"...

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[Mishetta]

No, my DH has never done that & that's because he knows better!

 

[jamsmom]

So, am I the only one that is with someone like this? (Of course, it is just a recent thing...oh, about 10 days and has to do with another country and the military if you get my hints)

 

[Serena]

No you aren't the only one. It was either that or ignoring me. I'd rather fight.

 

[Disney845]

Interestingly if you were to ask SO he would say that I was the one to intentionally bring on "conflict." He thinks I thrive on it He is a very non-confrontational person. He would rather not talk about it and spend time by himself for awhile cooling down (in my opinion ignoring whatever the problem may be). I am the..."lets have it out right now" kinda person. This is what leads to the conflicts. We have had to learn "how to fight" . I should listen to him more often (don't tell him I told you that ) because when we handle things his way, neither of us tend to say mean things to the other, and in the end it (whatever the problem was) works out without much drama. When we do it my way....lets just say it ain't pretty

 

[JasonLyons]

Originally posted by jamsmom
[B
And, if you are a man, why do you do this? Do you realize how this makes us feel? [/B]

because we have hidden anger about making us put down the toliet seat

 

[jamsmom]

[because we have hidden anger about making us put down the toliet seat [/QUOTE]

I have never even asked him to put down the toilet seat There SOOOO many more important things in life than a toilet seat.

 

[JasonLyons]

hmmm, I cant think of many

 

[browneyes]

Yes, my SO has done that on occasion. I don't know why he does though.

 

[snoopy]

Not really. I'm the person who picks fights around this house. DH never fights back though, which drives me crazy!

 

[apagano]

And, if you are a man, why do you do this? Do you realize how this makes us feel?

Hey, now don't pin this all on men! Women are quite capable of being confrontational for the heck of it as well. In my own life I can say that both DW and I have been guilty of arguing for argument's sake. It happens occasionally when one or the other of us is in a bad mood. Eventually we get over it. I can't say that I've ever intentionally "picked a fight" so to speak, but there have been times when I should have shut up but instead chose to stoke the fire. We've both done it.

 

[catsrule]

No, never. He doesn like to blame Simba for everything though.

 

[off2disney]

I've had both situations. My first (and ex) husband would pick a fight about something trivial (and use that as an excuse to get mad and storm out of the house so he could go drinking and partying). THAT's one of the reason's he's an EX!)

Now my signigicant other is so totally different and doesn't believe in agruing or fighting--in fact, if I've had a bad day and get mad and want to fight, he just goes off to bed....it's really hard to get into a fight by yourself!

Then by the time I've stormed around the house, muttering and cleaning, I wear myself out and give up and go to bed too.

 

[KimRaye]

Originally posted by Disney845
Interestingly if you were to ask SO he would say that I was the one to intentionally bring on "conflict." He thinks I thrive on it He is a very non-confrontational person. He would rather not talk about it {and spend time by himself for awhile cooling down} (in my opinion ignoring whatever the problem may be). I am the..."lets have it out right now" kinda person.

My situation is just about the same as D845, right now. He doesn't 'cool down' tho, he just falls asleep and, wakes up with a 'clean slate', in HIS opinion. I DON'T THINK SO!! I'm tired of having nasty, verbal abuses slung at me only to have him 'forget about it' in the morning. It's been weeks/months, a long time and, he has not ONCE attempted to talk to me about US. Really, really sad.

(crawls back into hiding)

 

[Disney Dee]

My SO won't fight either! Sometimes if something needs to be worked out thats a sore subject to him, he does say somethings that hurt me, then goes to bed and sleeps on it while I stew over it, and that really bugs me, sometimes you need to just fight it out, and get it over with instead of ignoring it and acting like nothing happened.

 

[Tony-NJ]

although not intentional but he usually just thinks about himself, which get's me po'd and we argue

 

[jamsmom]

Jim is usually SOOO non-confrontational! But, he has done all kinds of research to try to change my views on this president and the war. I don't claim to have all the answers nor do I claim that what we hear on the news is 100% straight news without propaganda.....but can't he just respect that we disagree on this view and drop it?

 

[philaround]

Originally posted by Goofyposter
Carol....


"Fights" are nothing to be "achieved" in my humble opionion....Sure...from time to time there are honest disagreements that may develop...but never with any intentional desire to cause unnecessary distress to my "so"...

{{{HUGS}}}

Right on Goofy.
I have seen this type of behavior many times in my life. Usualy at a family gathering at the holidays. People who do this appear to need an audience to appreciate thier performance thus ruining the day for everyone but themselves