Has anyone's child been average in elementary school....

[SydSim]

and gone on to do much better in middle and/or high school? I am wondering if all people who did well in high school and college were always very good students throughout school.

DD works extremely hard to maintain good grades. I'm wondering if she'll always have to work as hard to keep fairly good grades, or does anyone have examples of kids who struggled in the beginning, but as they got older, school was a little easier for them.

I'm not trying to make her get all A's or be a genius, or anything. I do wonder whether learning styles change as they get older and mature (for the better, that is. I have heard of kids becoming poorer students during the teen years).

Thanks in advance.

 

[Hedy]

This happened to one of my really good friends: was a mediocre student in elementary school, average to above average in middle school, and was at the top of our HS class.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My older dd is average, she is almost 16.

My younger dd is above average, has never made below a B on her report card.

My older dd did NOT mesh well with elementary school....the teachers hated her. Once she got to middle we went through some struggles but now as a HS sophmore she is doing well.

The important thing to teach your kids is how to seek help, speak up, get tutors, etc....This is vital to the learning process above all things.
If you can teach your child how to connect with a teacher, even a bad one, they will have an easier time.

So many, many times my older dd had to "argue grades" with middle school teachers, some were so disorganized. We saved every scrap of grades until report cards came out.

Now as a high schooler she keeps an eagle eye on them and is quick to fire off an email to the teacher.
"Average students" cannot afford mistakes when it comes to grading.

 

[Mary Anne]

I can only tell you about my child. He was average (or slighly higher some years depending on the teacher). Because he was AVERAGE he learned to study and do his work otherwise, well let's say he wouldn't be dong as well. All that knowing he had to study and do the work, paid off BIG when he got to college, yes he still has to study and do the work, the difference is he KNOWS how to study. He is doing far better then his Elem classmates who were called "gifted" who had studies come easier. They are not doing as well as in college you have to actually do work on your own. Many of them don't know how.

 

[Robinrs]

Michael SQUEAKED thru elementary school and became an A student in middle school... ... absolutely BLEW my mind!!

It also had a lot to do with the teachers in his school, they are amazing! Michael works harder when he feels cared for, and they do!

 

[mommasita]

Michael SQUEAKED thru elementary school and became an A student in middle school... ... absolutely BLEW my mind!!

It also had a lot to do with the teachers in his school, they are amazing! Michael works harder when he feels cared for, and they do!

Wow, I hope this happens to my DS11. He earns every single mark he gets, so far so good, but not great..

 

[Kath2003]

I excelled in elementary school.
I excelled in middle school.
In high school, I was distinctly average

It wasn't that I got dumber. It was that the kids in my much smaller elementary and middle school were dumber than me When I got to high school, there was a bigger mix of people, and I was no longer the top dawg
Didn't bother me though (it did my sister when it happened to her!). I make above average grades in my postgrad degree and got a degree in a subject I love from a good university.

Don't sweat rankings and grades - as long as your child is trying their best, you can't ask for any more.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Nope. The little genius grew to be a big genius. The two average kids - one stayed average and the other...he's practicing "Do you want fries with that?" and "Paper or plastic?"

But, I always have hope. People can always improve themselves and you just never know when they will!

 

[Kitty 34]

My middle son could barely make c's in 7th grade but in HS ended up in the National Honor's Society and today he's being inducted into some high honor's society ( for accounting students) at the university he goes to. I wish it wasn't so far away or we'd run over and attend the special dinner.

 

[TurboKitty]

So far my DS, 12 is doing great! He was getting B's and C's in elementary school, just shlubbing around there, and now that he's in 6th grade and middle school, he's on the honor roll. We're proud of him, but we've left his schoolwork as his responsibilty and he's been really shining under this method. His last two report cards, he's earned a 4.0 and a 3.85 GPA, respectively. He also has great teachers.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

My step-DD nearly failed out of third grade while living with her mother. We struggled with her for the five years to follow. She now has a 3.83 gpa as a junior.

It requires you to be vigilant with her education--work with her on her homework, teach her the things she seems to be missing, and work ahead when she grasps a concept.

I think one of the other posters suggested you keep in contact with her teachers as well. I would have to point to that as the single most important change we made with her schooling. Even now that she's nearing her last year in high school, I e-mail her teachers with questions and they keep me up on what they're working on in the classroom. It makes a huge difference--especially when you can't count on your kids to bring papers home!

 

[emerymt]

I can only tell you about my child. He was average (or slighly higher some years depending on the teacher). Because he was AVERAGE he learned to study and do his work otherwise, well let's say he wouldn't be dong as well. All that knowing he had to study and do the work, paid off BIG when he got to college, yes he still has to study and do the work, the difference is he KNOWS how to study. He is doing far better then his Elem classmates who were called "gifted" who had studies come easier. They are not doing as well as in college you have to actually do work on your own. Many of them don't know how.

That is very true, although, gratefully, my daughter figured out that she had to start studying in 6th & 7th grade when they start to teach facts that must be memorized, as opposed to reading and math that can be done by intuition for quite a while. She had started to think she was stupid because she never had to study before- so why would she have to study now- until it finally dawned on her that everbody else had always studied. I had to homeschool her for several years just to teach her how to study- her frustration was enormous- she was not use to studying and not use to getting things wrong. Now, in high school, she's doing very well.

And my littlest one is flat out bored in elementary school, and I predict he'll do better in high school, too. The difference between him and his oldest sister is that he doesn't feel compelled to please anyone, not his teacher and certainly not us. On the other hand, he may always be that way, I knew many extremely bright kids who didn't bloom until college because high school was authoritarian and still too boring.

So I think kids do change- but a good part of that is their motivation. Different kids are motivated by different things early in their childhood as opposed to later. Motivation is something that a parent can't change, but you can definitely learn to work with it. For instance,the only thing that motivated the little guy was the possibility of flunking third grade. The thought of more "time" got his fires going- he went from unsatisfactory to satisfactory in math in less than a week's time. His teacher never mentioned flunking him, actually, but that's just our little secret.

It helps to sit down and figure out what makes your kids tick. Then you can either make a plan or feel happy that things will improve, depending on the kid.

 

[krcit]

I don't know about becoming great students in HS but I had 2 or 3 friends that really struggled through school. They went on to college and excelled. One went on to become an attorney and another is a vice-president with an investment company.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

This was completely and totally me.

Part of the problem was that I was bored through much of my elementary education- through the later months of 6th grade- becuase I had seen so much of the information before and knew what it was. We were often in the after-school care program and studying was impossible. So I didn't study. I had to take all my 6th grade final exams (and tests that I'd be missing) early for an international swim meet that overlapped. All of a sudden, I had to study becuase I had never seen this material before in the classroom or in my rather nerdy habits (ie, I read anything... and retain even what I don't want to!). I did really, really well. So, at the start of 7th grade it was a, "Huh? Since I haven't seen this and they're expecting a lot more of me now, what will happen if I study?"

I went to boarding school for high school and was accepted to Ivy League for college, although I chose to take a gap year and married and have attended schools in the areas we've lived. I am at the University of Maryland, College Park, right now and love it. I am challenged and work hard, but it is not the point that school runs my life. Because my major is so small, I know there are students that do really struggle with some of the classes. So, for me, I think I do as well as I do based on the fact that I do have a very broad knowledge and experience base and have been able to identify which ways of studying work best for me. The work habits that were ingrained during high school have only helped me to gain success and manage my commitments.

DH is in business school at George Washington and is frustrated that he has to do so much more to maintain a grade point average much lower than mine, even though it seems that I put less into each of my classes than him. No questions asked, I am smarter than he is (and he has no problem or qualms with this fact-- his was the Division 1 jock ), but he does well in his own way. I try to remind him that it's not a competition between you and anyone else- it is what you can and are capable of doing given a series of contexts and circumstances.

If things are going as well for your daughter as you think they should, given the amount of time and effort she puts forth, try studying a different way. Maybe she needs to hear the information- you read it aloud to her and she repeats it; or she simply recites it aloud again and again. Maybe flashcards are right up her alley. I really prescribe to Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences. Maybe take a look and see which ones best suit DD and try making slow changes to really focus on her strengths. And, if her best is a B average and that's what she has, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. She's doing the best she can and putting forth the energy and time to accomplish that! And when it's your best, it's your best.


ETA: It could also be the way she's tested. For example, your daughter might excel for short-answer and essay questions and really struggle with multiple choice or fill-in-the-blank formats. Unfortunately, essays aren't really used until later grades and high school as a testing tool.

 

[minniecarousel]

My younger son had "reading resource" one year (around 2nd or 3rd grade) and then tested for GATE (go figure!). I read some of his essays when he was in 8th grade and wondered if he'd ever "get" writing. Even the very next year, I couldn't believe the level of maturity his writing showed. His JV baseball coach had a hard time believing that he was a "Scholar-Athlete" because he just didn't come off as that brainy. He went on to get very good grades in HS, then had a rough start in college, but ended up graduating from college with honors.

I think he always had to work really hard for good grades, and some things just finally "clicked" for him and got a little easier.

 

[paigevz]

My younger brother.

Average to poor in elementary. They tested his IQ in K because they were worried it was too low. In 6th grade he started doing better. By high school he was taking and acing all honors classes.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

Well, not me, I did the opposite and got worse! In elementary and middle school, I was a B/B+/A- kind of student in "above average" level classes (but not the highest). In my larger-district high school, I started out OK, getting mainly B's and a couple of A's. But by the end of sophomore year, pretty much every grade became a C, except for an A in band (whooppee!). No matter what I did, no matter how I tried, I got C's. I never "wowed" the teachers, hardly any even knew my name, I was just boringly average and forgetable. But I went to a high school where a majority of the kids were bred to be "superstars" - most were just much smarter, more likeable, more talented, more everything than me! An average student like myself who caught no one's attention and excelled in nothing fell to the middle of the barrel. I never got out of it, graduated my senior year with mainly C's in every class - well, got an A in typing.

Well, fast forward to college. I went to a state school, while most classmates went to brand name highly-ranked colleges. Happily at my state college, I went right back up to all A's and a couple of B's! I was thrilled that suddenly I wasn't "stupid" anymore! I think a lot of who's smart/who's not depends on who your "competition" is - in a state college, I met more "average" people like myself, and I fit in much better. So maybe it all boils down to who your classmates are!

Also like to mention I got a master's degree, getting all A's and a couple of B's.

 

[SydSim]

Thanks everyone for the replies.

I do know that she is doing her best. I'm mostly concerned about the amount of effort that she has to put into her work in order to achieve a fairly good grade. I have to go over things with her two and three times in order for her to retain the information. Yes, I do have to read things to her or let her read things to me in order for her to truly grasp the comprehension of things. But like I said, once this is done, she does well on her tests, homework and papers.

I am just wondering if there will come a point where the both of us don't have to put so much into learning the material, in order for her to still get decent grades. When I was a child, I never studied until I got to high school - and then it was a real shock I changed my study habits because I didn't want to fail.

I guess I just wanted to know that there was the possibility that she may not have to work soooooooo hard for the rest of her school years, just because she has to now.

(P.S. - I do communicate with her teachers and the school. Even had her tested to see if she has a learning disability because she just couldn't retain info by just studying or reading material by herself. Doctor and specialist alike said that she doesn't seem to have an LD. Reading specialist just suggested reading out loud, etc. which works. I think that they thought that I was a little crazy because I thought that something wasn't quite right even though her grades were good. It just seemed odd to me for her to have to do so much to get decent grades - especially because she was placed in the gifted program )