Has Anyone Started There Life over?

[disneyworld!]

Has anyone ever picked up everything, moved to another state, alone? to find new friends, job, etc?? If so How did it go? would you do it again?

 

[cuterlt]

When I went to law school, I moved from New Mexico to Michigan and left behind my family, my boyfriend of about 5 years, my job, my home. I was 23 at the time. I really wanted to go to law school badly, obviously, and the school I went to was the one I wanted to go to, for lots of reasons. I went home every Christmas, and occasionally (once a year maybe?) took other trips to see my grandparents who lived in Pennsylvania, or meet my parents somewhere.
It was the best thing I ever did. It gave me great independence, but it was also lonely. But being on my own, all alone, gave me a great chance to study and learn, and do what I needed to do to finish law school, so that was a great thing.
Would I do it again? Yes, absolutely yes.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Looking to do it. DH is trying to get out of MO.

 

[disneyworld!]

maybe I am hitting a mid-life crisis? but I am early 40's ish and I have some great friends and family, but my freinds are all "happyily marryied" and my parents have left the state, my 21 yo daughter lives in Boston, and my ex who I am friends wtih lives in Daytona. any friends I have here are ALL DRUNKS. AND i AM not INTO that. I find that I seem to baby sit them. And this is what I do NOT want....I would love to move where I always wanted to....and start over, I guess i also suffer from the "empty nest" thing........

 

[Lachesis00]

Yuppers. Just did it in July. Moved from Alaska to AZ. BEST move we made!!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Originally posted by Lachesis00
Yuppers. Just did it in July. Moved from Alaska to AZ. BEST move we made!!

WOW, talk about a climate change!

 

[NMAmy]

I've done it several times. Moved from Michigan to Germany when I was 22--I'd just gotten married and my husband was in the military. Then we moved from Germany to southern New Mexico--lived there for about 5 years, then when he got out, he got a job in northwestern New Mexico and we moved there--not knowing a soul. Had a child, made a lot of really good friends, then after I got divorced--my new husband and I moved to Michigan about 3 years ago to be near my parents (my father was really ill.) That was after about 10 years in one city.

It's always hard at first--but I've made so many good friends over the years (many of whom I still stay in touch with.) And I've learned that I can bloom where I'm planted--it takes awhile but the new place and new friends can become your home and your family. I know that whatever life hands me, I can overcome it and take on new challenges.

 

[faithinkarma]

I did. I met someone who lived in the US. I sold my home of 25 years in Canada, as well as almost all the contents of the house, left work, packed a bag, and moved down here to marry him. If I can start over at my age, anyone can. No regrets, nothing but gratitude that I got so lucky. My friends and family were in shock, and not particularly supportive at first. But I "knew" I was doing the right thing. They have all come to agree that it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

Originally posted by faithinkarma
I did. I met someone who lived in the US. I sold my home of 25 years in Canada, as well as almost all the contents of the house, left work, packed a bag, and moved down here to marry him. If I can start over at my age, anyone can. No regrets, nothing but gratitude that I got so lucky. My friends and family were in shock, and not particularly supportive at first. But I "knew" I was doing the right thing. They have all come to agree that it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

FIK, I haven't seen you posting in awhile! I wish you the best of luck with everything you are going through! Keep your chin up, it looks like Kerry is ahead. Hope to see you posting a lot really soon!

 

[VampHeartless]

In the army....so, yeah, about every 2-3 years or so.

 

[Octoberbeauty]

Yes, many times with exh job. Most recently- got divorced, kids and I moved back to the area where I grew up to be close to my family, and have started taking classes that I've always wanted to. So, I say "Go for it!"

 

[rcyannacci]

My DH and I are always a shock to our families because we move so much. We are both in the theatre, and early in our careers we would just go where the work was...and saw a lot of the country in the process.

We've been in TX for 4 years, which is a record for us. But we've found great friends wherever we landed. What's really helped is finding other populations of people who have recently moved to (fill in the blank). For example, when I started graduate school here in Austin, we immediately met the other students in my department who had also moved and started planning outings to tour the area- the lake, the capitol, etc. Some of these people have remained some of my best friends.

It's hard to move, but can be greatly rewarding.

 

[ThAnswr]

Originally posted by disneyworld!
Has anyone ever picked up everything, moved to another state, alone? to find new friends, job, etc?? If so How did it go? would you do it again?

I've started over again. In 1986, I left NY, my job, my family and friends and moved to Israel to stay with my fiance. He was working for General Dynamics, in international quality, and I moved there.

It was a wonderful experience, but it did have it's problems. Israel was completely different than the US and we had to do all the things, like make friends and find new restaurants that we took for granted in the US.

Then again, it was the experience of a lifetime. We travelled everywhere. We had plenty of time to explore the things we wanted to. We got to see all the biblical sights and were able to explore the Via Dolorosa, Bethlehem, Nazareth, and all of Jerusalem on our own. The things we saw/did are fresh and wonderful in our minds to this day.

I'd do it all over again and really regret we are too afraid to take our daughter to the Middle East to see the things we did. But, someday we will.

 

[ahutton]

DH did it when he was 22. He left college and went to National Guard basic. Met someone there who lived in Tempe, AZ (DH was from Tillamook, OR) who was looking to share a townhouse he was leasing from his Dad. DH went home from basic, said he was moving to AZ, packed up and left. We met about 3 months later, have been together ever since. It was 11 years ago on Saturday.

Others in my family have also done it, it always seems to work out well, although in our family we always have each other. We are spread around a bit, but nothing phone calls and airplanes can't work around. Because I've always been family centered it was not too difficult when DH was offered a job here in Texas, we moved. I originally transferred with my job, but started looking almost as soon as we arrived. Six months later I had a new job, two years after that DH found one. We love Austin!

 

[HugsForEeyore]

I am seriously considering it. I still live with my parents, and it's definately time to move on. I got to get working on finding a good job so I can make it happen! North Carolina is where I would like to relocate to, as my brother and his family lives there.

 

[Lachesis00]

And we are loving it!!!

Got a phone call last night from my mom... I am soooo glad we moved, lets just say that LOL.

Originally posted by Disney1fan2002
WOW, talk about a climate change!

 

[vernon]

When I was 20 I left London and moved with my then wife to work in Bahrain (small Island next to Saudi Arabia). I did have a job to go to however and knew a couple of people working there.
A few years later, I moved to Kuwait, again I had a job, a wife and I knew a couple of people (not well) in the office.
3 years after that we moved back to Bahrain, again job was in place and I knew quite a few people via business and sport connections.
After 4 years and we moved (with DD aged 4 and wife preggo) back to England. Again I had a job and a family and knew a few people in the area where we settled which helped.

Very soon ( hopefully by end of Nov) I will be moving to Fl, finally getting married to fiance Jana ( after long distance romance and visa delays) where we will be setting up home ( with her DS aged 10). This move is potentially the most difficult I've made as 1) I don't have a job sorted out yet ( not allowed to apply until work visa is through) 2) We don't really have any friends or family in the area 3) Jana doesn't have a job yet.

I do however plan to use the experiences I've picked up over the times I have resettled as most of them are useful. Here's a list of things I think are helpful/important when relocating, some of them deal with moving countries, but I'll include them anyway.

1) Register with Embassy/Consulate. Granted not relevent in this question, but for anyone moving country this should be #1 priority AT ALL TIMES. If you get into trouble, your embassy will need to be notified, if you've registered beforehand it helps them deal with you MUCH quicker. If there are political problems in the area and you're registered, your Embassy can contact you and help with evacuation or advice. On a social note, many Consulates and Embassys have social activities that would give you the opportunity to meet fellow countrymen and women in similar situations (particularly important for non working partners in a relocated family). In the early days try to attend ANY social activity they are running, even if you aren't that keen on the activity. Chances are you'll meet someone in EXACTLY the same situation as you. Neither of you may like the activity being run, but you'll probably find something that you do both have an interest in and would be able to meet up at a later date.

2) If you have a sport you participate in (tennis,golf,raquetball, bowling etc) make sure you find a club to join, sign up to any leagues that are available and start playing and meeting people. Even if your social life doesn't improve, you'll get fitter LOL. I was lucky I was a keen rugby player and the Gulf states in the Middle East had a thriving league. Rugby's a very social game and the day trips to other countries to play games was an excellent chance to meet people and build friendships. Golf is probably the best game to meet people and build up a social network in a new location.

3) Once you've found a job, look for work related social activities. Again , even if it's not REALLY your type of thing, theres a good chance if you go along you'll meet someone who does share an interest.

4) Make the most of any time you do get to explore your new surroundings, get to know the area and get to know where interesting activities take place (even if they're not 100% your interests). This will not only provide you with an opportunity of meeting people, it will also give you things to talk to other people about when you make new friends at different social activities. There is little as effective as killing a conversation with new work colleagues as when asked " Hi X, how was your weekend, what did you do" to respond " not much, watched TV Friday night and all day Saturday, did laundry Sunday morning and watched CNN all Sunday night". A visit to an art gallery, the theatre, sight seeing, restaurant or music venue is much more likely to get them to ask about what it was like etc, and you may find someone who's interested in those things will come up and ask you about the details. Giving you the chance to suggest they join you next time you go.


In my time abroad I saw PLENTY of people arrive, some settled easily/immediately had a great time and enjoyed themselves, some took a little more time but relatively quickly settled and made friends, and some NEVER really settled were terribly homesick and were happy to leave at the end of their contracts. As a pretty decent rule of thumb, the people who didn't settle had already made their mind up before arriving they weren't going to like it. Invariably they expected other people to invite them to dinner parties, functions or activities before they reciprocated. Usually they weren't keen to join sports teams nor did they put themselves out.

In life, I feel what you ultimately get out , is directly related to the effort you put in. This holds as true in social life as any other. The more time, effort and invitations you put out, the more responses and reciprocation you will receive. Sport, art, music and theatre are among the easiest routes to build up a social circle in a new location. It's worth remembering that by broadening your horizons and being prepared to try something you would not normally have tried makes it MUCH more likely that you'll get the opportunity to enjoy some company with not only those activities, but also the ones that are closer to your own heart.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by disneyworld!
Has anyone ever picked up everything, moved to another state, alone? to find new friends, job, etc?? If so How did it go? would you do it again?

Wow! How many times! Usually major life changing events have done it to me...marriage, deaths, leaving job and returning to school.

In March I sold my home in FL and moved to VA...single mom and son!! I was looooooooooooooong overdue for a change after 15 years in FL. Finding new friends, hunting for new job. The move itself went well, and I LOVE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So glad I made the change. I would do it in a heartbeat!

Oh! At the time I sold my home, I was really just thinking about selling and relocating. Nothing definite at all. One day I received a letter in the mail from my next door neighbor. He said his family wanted his grandma closer, and he said let him know if I'm interested in selling. I had BRIEFLY thought of selling not too long prior. I called a neighborhood realtor and asked a few questions. While I was struggling to come up with a "fair" price...according to my neighbor...the realtor called me and said he had someone interested, would I sign a contract just so he could show this guy. Sure, nothing to lose. The guy was in my house at 8 a.m. the following morning, and a contract was signed by 10!! Well, I guess it was official that I was moving!!!! LOLOLOL! BEST move I ever made!! Good luck with a decision.

 

[MB MinnieGirl]

I did it in 1997 when I was 26 years old and have no regrets! I had lived in Greensboro, NC all my life (except college). My boyfriend at the time and I had just broken up after a 5 year relationship. We were planning on living at the beach once married Within months of the breakup it hit me....why wait for somebody else to do what I really wanted to?

I started making long weekend trips to the beach searching for a job and then for a home. Once I found both, I loaded the car and a moving van and off I went. I learned that I could do it all and that my happiness is up to me. A very important lesson I hope to pass on to my DD4. I can take care of myself 110% and make a life that is now not only wonderful for me, but for my DD4 as well. I have NEVER regreted it for a moment.

Of course now, being a single mom without any family in the same state, it is difficult at times, but we are blessed with wonderful friends who are great substitutes My family is only 4 hours away and we do see them at least once a month generally. I have also discovered that if you live at the beach, all of your friends and family from "back home" will come and visit often