has anyone else had a problem with ex's not wanting you to go to WDW

[davis65]

My husband has complete joint custody of his children. What this means is that there is no primary custodian. We get the kids every other week, and the courts said that pretty much what we do on our week is our business and what she does on her week is her business. Whoever has the children is the primary custodian for that week. We have been planning our WDW vacation since January and she has known about it since day 1. She has made comments that she is very upset that I am going. She said that her and my husband should take his kids and I should stay home. She also said that the right thing for me to do is to hand over my ticket and pay her way into WDW. We told her that wasn't going to happen. For the past couple of weeks she finally backed off, but then she hit us with a bombshell today. We went to my step-son's basketball game and her mother was there. (Her mother raises my stepchildren on their mother's week) She showed up about 1/2 hour later. her mother pulled me aside and told me that the school that my step sons attend is thinking about cancelling sprink break. Her mother was talking to me about how she still wants my husband and I to take the children even if Spring Break is cancelled because she thinks it would be good for the kids. Then out of nowhere my husbands ex came up and said that she would not allow that to happen. She said that if Spring Break gets cancelled then she is going to take us to court and make sure that our WDW trip gets cancelled too. She was not going to allow us to take the kids. I told her that I have done paid for everything and the kids are really excited. I explained to her that I would talk to the teachers and get everything worked out. She just continued to say that she didn't care if I lose any money, and if I would have been smart then I would have given her my ticket in the first place and then she wouldn't have a problem with them missing school to go.

Has anyone else ever had this problem with their exes? Do you think the Judge would really make us cancel our trip since it is all paid for, and was scheduled on a week that they were orginally not suppose to have school? Right now it is still up in the air about wether or not Spring Break will be cancelled. I just can't believe that she is threatening a court hearing over us taking the kids to WDW when she lets her parents take them out of state on vacation at least twice a year. We never say anything about it. For 1 we think it is good for the kids, and for 2 its her week so we can't control what she does. Sorry this is so long, I just had to vent.

 

[PoohsFan1]

Wow!!!!!. No I don't have an ex but I just wanted to give you support and hope everything goes in your favor. Your DH's ex is just jealous of you and your DH spending time with your step-son's in the Happiest Place on Earth. She just needs to lighten up and just let her kids go with you. Has your DH said anything to her? I mean they are his kids too. Good luck and let us know how everything turns out

 

[davis65]

My husband told her that he was not going to let her ruin this for the children. He told her that she needed to get over it because he was not going to let her break their hearts. He also told her that she needed to get over the fact that I was going. He tells me to not let it bother me and that he doesn't care what she says we are going. I want to not worry, but it just makes me angry.

 

[kristennn]

Could she even get a court date that quickly? Do the custody papers say anything about leaving the state with the kids?

 

[brergnat]

You might run into problems taking the kids out of state without her approval. She could deny that. What a "you know what"!!!

She is obviously jealous of your and DH's ability to take her kids to WDW. But, man, to deprive THEM because of HER issues? Whatever.

Unfortunately, as their mother, she DOES have a say in whether they get pulled out of school or not. I don't think you could fight that, and you shouldn't "go there."

IF Spring Break gets cancelled (which it probably won't, due to teacher unions and mandated time off and such), you might have to cancel your trip and/or reschedule it for summer break instead. Sorry, but it's possible. You should always leave that possibility open to have to cancel at the last minute when there are kids involved. Any chance you could get trip insurance at this point in case you have to cancel last minute???

Sorry you are dealing with all that drama. Hope things get resolved for you guys!

 

[rodeo65]

Sorry - no ex situation here, but I just wanted to offer

I do have a very good friend who battles with her ex all the time over their daughter. They have "joint custody" but hers is the primary residence. He took their DD on a trip to Europe almost two years ago and since then has managed to avoid returning her passport every time it's been asked for, although her mother is supposed to have it. She is considering a trip back to court over several issues, this being one of them.

I know from her experience how frustrating dealing with a bitter, immature ex can be. And in her case it was he who walked out on her for another woman. I just don't get people sometimes.

 

[nmmom95]

I don't have an ex, I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. IMHO, she sounds like a nut! She wants you to give her your ticket so she can go with your husband? I actually laughed when I read that! I really hope everything works out. It sounds like you all need this vacation!

 

[davis65]

Thanks guys for understanding. I guess the think that really gets me is how immature the whole situation is. My husband and his ex have not been together for 8 years. When we got together they had been seperated 3 years. She left him for another man after their family Christmas party. (she said that she wanted to get her presents first before she left.) I should have known after hearing about that, I would be dealing with an immature ex. However i kept hoping that it would change. I get that she is their mom and has a say about taking them out of state, but she said nothing about objecting it until after I had everything paid for (well besides the comments that it should be her. She never said that they could not go). That is what gets me the most.

 

[deerhart]

I highly doubt that a judge would stop the vacation. In fact, I HIGHLY doubt she could even get you in court fast enough to stop the trip. She would have to file a motion or Temp restraining order and then have you served.

If I had a party opposing me in court that filed a temp restraining order to stop the other parties vacation planned for months, I would be arguing to the judge that this is a waste of judicial time and not the proper use of a TRO. In many states she would probably also be required to post a bond with the TRO and you could ask that she be required to pay any loss you have from not being able to go on the trip.

Also, you need to read the state law and parenting plan. Here in Missouri, even with JOINT physical and JOINT legal custody, one parent can remove the child out of the state without the other party's permission for up to 90 days, so long as it does not interfere with the other parent's custodial time. In most states, so long as she knows where the child is and has contact information, there is NOTHING she can do to stop you. The problem you will run into is with school, it does need to be a joint decision regarding missing school, but again, it is highly unlikely that a judge will do much given the circumstances (last minute cancellation, trip already paid for etc..)

 

[JUJU814]

so sorry you have to go through this!! What a FRUIT LOOP she sounds like!

 

[*Toadstool*]

It is so sad when men/women try to get back at their ex's through their own children. Seems like that is the issue here. SHe's trying to cause you and your hubby pain through her own children. What a shame. Let us know what happens. Surely since its is your week they would say it is okay? No clue how the laws are though.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

I highly doubt that a judge would stop the vacation. In fact, I HIGHLY doubt she could even get you in court fast enough to stop the trip. She would have to file a motion or Temp restraining order and then have you served.

If I had a party opposing me in court that filed a temp restraining order to stop the other parties vacation planned for months, I would be arguing to the judge that this is a waste of judicial time and not the proper use of a TRO. In many states she would probably also be required to post a bond with the TRO and you could ask that she be required to pay any loss you have from not being able to go on the trip.

Also, you need to read the state law and parenting plan. Here in Missouri, even with JOINT physical and JOINT legal custody, one parent can remove the child out of the state without the other party's permission for up to 90 days, so long as it does not interfere with the other parent's custodial time. In most states, so long as she knows where the child is and has contact information, there is NOTHING she can do to stop you. The problem you will run into is with school, it does need to be a joint decision regarding missing school, but again, it is highly unlikely that a judge will do much given the circumstances (last minute cancellation, trip already paid for etc..)

I think this is right on the mark. I can't see a judge agreeing to stop a vacation when it has been planned months in advance and the ex was aware of it from the beginning. I'm sure it could happen, I just don't think it is likely to. And does the ex really want to waste her money taking this to court?

 

[brittanyherndon]

You might run into problems taking the kids out of state without her approval. She could deny that. What a "you know what"!!!

She is obviously jealous of your and DH's ability to take her kids to WDW. But, man, to deprive THEM because of HER issues? Whatever.

Unfortunately, as their mother, she DOES have a say in whether they get pulled out of school or not. I don't think you could fight that, and you shouldn't "go there."

IF Spring Break gets cancelled (which it probably won't, due to teacher unions and mandated time off and such), you might have to cancel your trip and/or reschedule it for summer break instead. Sorry, but it's possible. You should always leave that possibility open to have to cancel at the last minute when there are kids involved. Any chance you could get trip insurance at this point in case you have to cancel last minute???

Sorry you are dealing with all that drama. Hope things get resolved for you guys!

It could be worse though, your DH ex could forbid leaving the county

 

[hereyago]

She probably can't get a court date before then. Even if she does, Judges don't like this kind of stuff played out in the court room.

 

[brittanyherndon]

She probably can't get a court date before then. Even if she does, Judges don't like this kind of stuff played out in the court room.

it is people like her that turn the court room into a circus

 

[hereyago]

it is people like her that turn the court room into a circus

True, very true.

 

[melisandes]

She sounds like a jealous witch and I doubt she could even get into the court room to have a hearing in time. She wants you to pay for a free vacation for her and that is it clearly.

 

[Kat&Dom]

What a crazy situation - so sorry you have that hanging over your vacation plans. I think that she is just causing trouble and would not follow though anyway - she just wants to stress both of you out. What a cruel, immature woman.

When I hear stories like this, it makes me so glad that I insisted on getting Sole Custody with a clause stating I could travel outside of Canada without his written permission. He gets all the access he wants to visit my son but has no say in what we do or where we go.

I hope she backs off and doesn't wreck your vacation before it even begins.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would get the schools on my side now. Go talk to whomever might be able to help. They know which parents are the ones that are resonable and they want to deal with. Assure them that YOU will be sure that they make up work and do whatever you need to to make this trip happen even if spring break changes. The issues will be mom will have them the week you return and might not be willing to do the extra work then so address that now.

I am not one to jump through hoops for the school but in this case it might be to your benefit. I don't think she could get a court date that quick either but be ready just in case. Sadly she is only hurting the kids.

 

[DisneyBabies]

I agree that I don't think she would be able to get a court date in time to prevent the trip. And I would hope that any lawyer she contacts about this issue would explain to her how immature she is being.

But here is my question: How is the school district getting away with possibly canceling spring break? The school year is more than 1/2 finished. The majority of parents and teachers have surly made travel plans by now. How is it possible to make that big a change this late in the game? Did you guys miss a lot of school for weather related issues?