Guest Invite Issues

[Pomlover2586]

First off I know.......what am i doing on Disboards Christmas morning?!?!

Ok I need an outsiders opinion and am hoping you Dis ladies can help out! First a little background:

DF and I are keeping our guest list to 100 people [or under]. originally our guest list was 75 but somehow it's crawled up to 84. We're trying to keep our wedding to closest friends/ family members and extended family that's actually been a part of our regular every day lives.....so in other words no Aunt Edna's twice removed that we haven't seen since we were 5.

Now the Issue........

We were over at DF's grandmothers house yesterday and she brings up that she would like her brother to be invited..........I didn't even know she had a brother! DF and I have been dating for 5.5 years and I've never even met the man.....DF says he thinks the last time he saw him he was 10. DF's Grandma says she wants him to come because "He has cancer and would love to be there" FMIL said she would like him added as well once grandma brought him up [but when we showed her the finalized guest list from their side and asked if she could think of anyone else that needed an invite she said no!]

DF and I really don't want a bunch of people there we don't know [or haven't seen in years. The other issue is that if I invite DF Grand uncle [is that correct? Lol] then I feel obligated to invite my grandmothers siblings......and she has 6 PLUS their spouses!!!! We're not inviting them because I only see them at family reunions and couldn't even tell you all of their names! I know 1 of them well and she will be invited but otherwise forget it!

So my question is should we invite the Grand uncle? If we don't how can we say no to DF's grandmother and FMIL without being completely rude and possible causing a huge family grudge for the rest of our lives? DF says he couldn't care less if the man comes or not.....doesn't matter to him. But due to the Grandparents sibling issues [amount wise] I really don't want to get into it.

Sorry that was so long but if any of you can help it would be greatly appreciated! thanks

 

[caryndisneydiva]

i'm stressing too much about my wedding on christmas morning, it's nice to see i'm not the only one...

i would NOT invite him. just tell future gma that unfortunately your guest list is locked. if she gives you a problem, advise her that if you invite her brother, you are obligated to invite your grandparents siblings as well and this will add over a dozen people to your guest list and that is not economically or strategically feasible at this point in time.

happy holidays!

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I think you should invite him. You are still under 100 and you don't know how many won't be able to make it do you?
Bite the bullet know you did the right thing and coast into a new marriage.

Good Luck.

 

[Kristen14]

I went thru this myself... you just need to remind yourself that it is YOUR wedding, not your future grandmothers. If you want only close family then keep it that way. Just nicely explain it to her. Trust me... this wont be the only time someone tries to stick their own opinions into your wedding! You just need to stay strong!!

 

[dakcp2001]

Maybe she could bring him as her "date" if she would like him to be there? It is prob not him that wants to go, she prob just wants to spend some time with him. He might not even want to go. When is the wedding? He might not be well enough to travel.

I also think inviting him would not obligate you to invite all of your grandparents siblings at all, yours side of teh family is not going to know who is who from the other side. I dount they would compare lists with each other, and you yourself said that you dont know any of them. I would prob just invite him, or tell grandma she can bring him as her guest.