Grrrr....vent coming

[kwelch10377]

To the manchild that I am dealing with, if you say something because you think it is what I want to hear and/or if you are totally disregarding my feelings when you do/say certain things, just admit it when you are called out on it instead of totally avoiding answering the question. You avoiding the question makes me keep asking it, which inturn annoys you because I won't let it go.

It it really annoying me that he just won't admit that he is/was being a jerk, although there is the off chance that he isn't, but he won't admit that either. When I ask him why he does certain things he totally avoids answering the question, but then gets ticked off because I won't let it go. I have even told him that if you won't admit it because you are afraid to hurt my feelings or you don't want to admit you are being a a jerk, don't worry about that because 1) you have already hurt my feeling and 2) I already think you are being a jerk.

I really just want to hear him admit it!

 

[mommasita]

Have you seen the man bashing thread?

 

[kwelch10377]

Oh, I must of missed that thread due to my annoyance.

 

[IdesOmarch]

Its called being a squirmy weasley spin doctor, welcome to the world of man.

 

[snapppyd]

We have a thread for this Sorry about the poopie head!

 

[mickeyboat]

When DH and I first got married and we argued, I always wanted to win. I wanted to continue the argument until DH apologized and admitted I was right. I just couldn't let it go.

But when I got upset with something, he would let me say what I needed to say, and then ask "are you done?" I was furious that he wouldn't continue the argument until I won.

It took a long time before I realized that there are really very few disagreements in our life that can't be resolved with "are you done?" Sometimes we just need to vent, but we don't always need to win. We aren't going to agree on every little thing, and that's o.k. But if we agree on the big things, we are doing o.k.

Things have been a lot more peaceful around our house!

Good luck, OP!

 

[kwelch10377]

We have a thread for this Sorry about the poopie head!

I actually prefer butthead, which is what I called him the other night when he acted like I didn't know what I was talking about.

 

[kwelch10377]

When DH and I first got married and we argued, I always wanted to win. I wanted to continue the argument until DH apologized and admitted I was right. I just couldn't let it go.

But when I got upset with something, he would let me say what I needed to say, and then ask "are you done?" I was furious that he wouldn't continue the argument until I won.

It took a long time before I realized that there are really very few disagreements in our life that can't be resolved with "are you done?" Sometimes we just need to vent, but we don't always need to win. We aren't going to agree on every little thing, and that's o.k. But if we agree on the big things, we are doing o.k.

Things have been a lot more peaceful around our house!

Good luck, OP!

The problem is it is a huge issu. If it was just a small disagreement I would just let it go. We aren't even dating right now, but you would never guess that with the way we argue with each other

 

[FireDancer]

The problem is it is a huge issu. If it was just a small disagreement I would just let it go. We aren't even dating right now, but you would never guess that with the way we argue with each other

Are you sure it is a big issue to him and not just you? It sounds from the vague first post as though perhaps it isn't.

 

[snapppyd]

Are you sure it is a big issue to him and not just you? It sounds from the vague first post as though perhaps it isn't.

She just wanted to vent

 

[hereyago]

The problem is it is a huge issu. If it was just a small disagreement I would just let it go. We aren't even dating right now, but you would never guess that with the way we argue with each other

Do you have kids with this person? if not, and not even dating then let it go move on, no more contact

 

[kwelch10377]

Are you sure it is a big issue to him and not just you? It sounds from the vague first post as though perhaps it isn't.

He has admitted that it is a big issue, but just doesn't want to talk about it or address the issue, but won't explain why. I don't really want to get into the whole issue which is why I was vague. It is a long and complicated story that will just not translate well on a message board.

 

[kwelch10377]

Do you have kids with this person? if not, and not even dating then let it go move on, no more contact

No I do not and it is not something that I would throw away a 15 year friendship over.

 

[sbell111]

The problem is it is a huge issu. If it was just a small disagreement I would just let it go. We aren't even dating right now, but you would never guess that with the way we argue with each other

Your upset because some guy that you aren't even dating won't tell you he's wrong when he doesn't think he is?

You'll fit in around here just fine.

 

[kwelch10377]

Your upset because some guy that you aren't even dating won't tell you he's wrong when he doesn't think he is?

You'll fit in around here just fine.

Um, no that isn't the issue. It isn't a matter of being right and wrong about something, it is just a matter of him admitting why he did something and before anyone says that it isn't any of my business, it is because it directly impacted me.

And the whole not even dating issue is a moot point, because whether or not we are would have no impact on the situation.

And he isn't some guy, he happens to be one of my closest friend and has been for 15 years.

 

[snapppyd]

Um, no that isn't the issue. It isn't a matter of being right and wrong about something, it is just a matter of him admitting why he did something and before anyone says that it isn't any of my business, it is because it directly impacted me.

And the whole not even dating issue is a moot point, because whether or not we are would have no impact on the situation.

And he isn't some guy, he happens to be one of my closest friend and has been for 15 years.

I understand that you just wanted to vent about it, right? You will have a hard time "winning" any argument you present on this board, maybe you should just leave it at that

 

[kwelch10377]

I understand that you just wanted to vent about it, right? You will have a hard time "winning" any argument you present on this board, maybe you should just leave it at that

I did just want to vent.

Sadly I have been around long enough to know that and that apparently from one vague post people can judge the circumstances of an entire situation. it's one thing to ask a question, but another to make a blanket judgement when you have no details to provide an opinion on.

I knew I should have deleted and reposted on the lighthearted man bashing thread!

 

[snapppyd]

I did just want to vent.

Sadly I have been around long enough to know that and that apparently from one vague post people can judge the circumstances of an entire situation. it's one thing to ask a question, but another to make a blanket judgement when you have no details to provide an opinion on.

I knew I should have deleted and reposted on the lighthearted man bashing thread!

Good luck with your situation

 

[WDSearcher]

Um, no that isn't the issue. It isn't a matter of being right and wrong about something, it is just a matter of him admitting why he did something and before anyone says that it isn't any of my business, it is because it directly impacted me.

And the whole not even dating issue is a moot point, because whether or not we are would have no impact on the situation.

And he isn't some guy, he happens to be one of my closest friend and has been for 15 years.

Then either deal with it, since you clearly don't think it's worth losing his friendship over, or ... keep poking and lose the friendship.

You want him to admit he did something. He doesn't want to admit it. Sounds like a pretty big impass to me. One of you will have to back down or you're done.

 

[kwelch10377]

Then either deal with it, since you clearly don't think it's worth losing his friendship over, or ... keep poking and lose the friendship.

You want him to admit he did something. He doesn't want to admit it. Sounds like a pretty big impass to me. One of you will have to back down or you're done.

I understand where you are coming from. I don't think it will ever affect our friendship. It isn't a constant thing that comes up and the funny thing is when it does come up it is because he has made a reference to the situation. Then I ask him something, he avoids the question and then I get annoyed, which is what happened today, hence my need to vent today. I think he finds it funny how annoyed I get. We'll talk tomorrow and everything will be fine. It just bothers me, because I just can't figure out WHY he won't admit it and I'm the type of person who always needs to know why. It is my personality flaw sometimes