Grrrr....Teacher Vent

[barkley]

personaly i'de check to see what the school or district policy is on the matter. sometimes the lone teacher who is being labled as difficult or on a power trip is in actuality the only one on staff following the actual rules about a certain procedure.

at schools my kids have gone to they have to use their given first legal name for all the paperwork they or we submit but it's up to the individual teacher if they are willing to verbaly refer to the student by any other (usualy a derivation of their name or their middle name of the students or parents choosing). this was the same at the public highschool i went to.

if he plans on always going by his middle name i would suggest that now is the optimal time to legaly change it. by doing so all of his highschool records can correctly reflect the name he will choose to go by as an adult and there will be less confusion (data bases such as social security and most government will generaly only go by what is on the birth certificate or a legal document amending that-so it can cause delays or misrouting of paperwork in some situations if you are using a name other than the one they have as verified on file. i've seen the departments i've worked in as well as their h/r divisions bounce back public or potential employers-looking for a reference- requests if the name does'nt match what is in their data base because just because 'everyone' knows that someone goes by their middle name the person doing the paperwork does'nt and does'nt have the time or resources to research it).

it's so much better to get everything done legaly so that all the records reflect the same info. my mom went by what she presumed was her legal name for over 50 years, everything was in that name including all health records, social security (she got her card back before they required a notarized bc), land titles...our bc's reflect that name as being our mother's name as well. in her 50's my father went to apply for his pension and ss and my mother was asked to provide a notarized copy of her bc. imagine her surprise when she learned her 'name' was nowhere on her bc-and the name listed was one she had never heard of. come to find out her parents (who died when she was young) had always called her by a nickname, the schools never questioned it and so everyone assumed that was her name. the logistical nightmare of having her name changed and having to recconcile and change all of the legal document was incredibly time consuming. we learned that if the discrepancie had not been discovered until after her incapacitation or death it could have created a horrendous mess that could have taken months to resolve and entailed tremendous legal expenses.

your son could have it worse-i went to school with a girl whose first name was 'morning dove'. she had no middle name so teachers automaticaly assumed that dove was her middle name. it never failed that she ended up with at least 2 teachers a semester who held to the legal first name only rule so she ended up being called 'morning' every semester for at least the first couple of days until they could check with admin (upon her polite request) to verify that yes, she did have 2 first names.

 

[KristaTX]

My sister has a very traditional name with a traditional spelling, but when she was born an Americanized version (substituting "sh" for "ch") was popular. She had a teacher in grade school who repeatedly made her cry by telling her that her name was spelled "wrong" and by purposely pronouncing it wrong---which of course implicitly gave the other students permission to tease my sister the same way. My dad was furious. After about a week of this, he went to the school and told the teacher that if he wanted to spell my sister's name "s**t" that was his business not hers, and she'd better get the pronunciation right and quit making fun of his child!

I'm trying to figure it out based on what you said, and the possibilities are quite odd. Was your sister's name Shut, Shot, Shet, Shat, or **** ?

 

[Shannon G]

not really relevant, but my fun name story. Gotta love those crazy parents. They named me a formal first name because they wanted a daughter named my nickname but didn't think it was an appropriate "real name" for a person. Silly parents!

I don't think that's so strange...I named DD#2 Katherine, knowing that I would call her Katie. I like the name Katie, but thought that as an adult, she might prefer to use a more "grown-up" sounding name, so I chose not to just name her Katie. Ex-DH wanted to just name her Katie, because that's what we were going to call her - I won that argument!

Back on topic - I agree with the PP who said if it's not that big a deal (as stated by the teacher) then he should have no problem calling him Storm!!

 

[OceanAnnie]

OOOH - I don't like the "It's not a big deal" response!

On my first day of college, Professor Finkelstein mispronounced my unusual name when calling roll. I sweetly corrected him, as I'd gotten used to doing my whole life. He said, "I don't get it -- - I've never heard that name before, but I have heard _______. So I'll just call you that."

I responded, "That's fine, Dr. Frankenstein."

He responded, "It's Finkelstein."

I said, "I know, but I've never heard that name before."

He apologized and asked me to remind him how to correctly pronounce my name, and he never mispronounced it again.

 

[disney junky]

Write a note to the teacher asking him or her to please call your son by his legal middle name Storm. If he or she refuses to comply with that, go over his or her head. I'm a teacher. If I get that note, I know it's important. I'm just curious. Is this an older teacher or a newer teacher? When I first started teaching, I used to find myself arguing with a student how to pronoun his name....what the heck was I thinking. It's his name. Duh...

 

[I_Know_You2!]

It's the same in college, too. At least, in some instances.

NOT! that would be beyond pathetic.

 

[GJM]

I can't wait to hear what the teacher has to say!

 

[Talking Hands]

Both my brother and I went by our middle names in school. I switched to my first name as an adult.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

I call all of my students by their last name. It isn't a power trip, either. I'm not familiar enough with them to call them by their first name, and they are not familiar enough with me to call me by my first name. I still cringe when young clerks call my parents or grandparents by a first name.

And really, this isn't a big deal. He's not a child, he's a young adult. Sometimes we have to deal with jerky people. Chalk it up to a great learning experience, one that is best learned as a young adult.

 

[Sandy V.]

I call all of my students by their last name. It isn't a power trip, either. I'm not familiar enough with them to call them by their first name, and they are not familiar enough with me to call me by my first name. I still cringe when young clerks call my parents or grandparents by a first name.

And really, this isn't a big deal. He's not a child, he's a young adult. Sometimes we have to deal with jerky people. Chalk it up to a great learning experience, one that is best learned as a young adult.

I disagree. Given your username, I am assuming your students are in law school. Being a lawyer myself, I understand the "last name" practice in law school. My professors called us "Ms. ___" or "Mr. ___" and that was fine (I wouldn't have appreciated being singularly called by my last name, but that's another thread . . .)

But that's apple to oranges - not the same situation. Here, we are talking about a 14 or 15 year old KID. There's no evidence that the teacher is calling everyone by their last names, only that he is refusing (at this point) to call THIS KID by the first name he's always used, except by his deceased grandmother. Maybe it's different where you live, but high school teachers around here would never get away with addressing kids by their last name only. Law school is much more dehumanizing than high school ever should be!!!

The guy is much more than a jerk here - it's a power trip. If it's "not that big a deal" to call him by the incorrect name, it's just as easy to call him by his correct name. This is definitely an issue to push back on.

 

[Kath2003]

I'll call a child whatever they ask to be called, providing it's sensible. I had a class where a 6th grader was trying to be cool and wanted to be called by his last name (which is a first name too, albeit a very unusual one). I said fine (not least because there was another boy with his first name in the class). On the last day I taught them he told me that I was the only teacher that actually abided by his request (and that he'd decided to switch back to his first name for the next school year - guess it wasn't so cool afterall ). I wouldn't have a problem calling someone by their middle name.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Calling a student what he requests is a matter of respect and making the child comfortable to be in your class. I can only picture a Mr. Hand (Fast Times in Ridgemont High) anal-retentive type insisting on first names like this. I hope no one in my school is that big of a ninny.
I would send the guy an EMail.
Robin M.

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

My son goes by his middle name and every official thing in the school has that name on it. In class, however, he is known by the name we want, his middle name. It's annoying as heck to my husband, but he did name him with the intention that he will go by his middle name.

Same thing here with my son. His first name is a family name that he only hears when he is in serious trouble! Since he is only 4, he rarely hears his first name. When we named him, we had every intention of using his middle name. That is what we go by.

My husband is the same way. Only known by his first name

 

[Tinijocaro]

That's a teacher who already wrote his name in the grade book and doesn't want to mess it up!

 

[Michelle67]

I'm trying to figure it out based on what you said, and the possibilities are quite odd. Was your sister's name Shut, Shot, Shet, Shat, or **** ?

Haha. No, it is Cheryl (Cherie). Sorry, I should have just said that in the first place. Sherry was the popular spelling back then. Dad just picked a vulgar word to make his point with: that he got to choose the spelling not the teacher. The teacher kept telling my sister "No, your name isn't Cherie, it's Cherry. Sherry is spelled with an "S" not a "C". So what he told the teacher was that if he chose to spell her name "s**t" it would still be Cherie, not Cherry. Not that Cherry is a horrible thing to be called, but it was upsetting my sister, and the teacher's behavior was inappropriate.

 

[bumbershoot]

But this whole thing reminds me that we never really knew my grandmother's name as it was on her birth certificate. We don't know if she was Isabelle Elizabeth or Elizabeth Isabelle. She went by Isabelle, but my mother seems to think her first name was really Elizabeth. I guess we'll have to start researching the family tree if we want to find out for sure.

FWIW...my middle name is Elizabeth (though not on my birth certificate...in the 70s middle names were made official by usage or so the SS office told my mom, so when I got my SS# before I was getting ready to work my mom threw in the middle name...oh jinkies if I ever feel like changing it, oh the difficulty!). In elementary school we went to the Defense Language Institute in Monterey on a field trip, and they translated our names into all sorts of languages.

And in several Spanish speaking countries, Elizabeth is translated to Isabella, according to the scholars at the DFI. So it might not be a matter of two names, but a matter of one name in two "languages".



Michelle67, how odd of that teacher! I went to school with a Cherie said Sherry, and none of the teachers had an issue with it.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I call all of my students by their last name. It isn't a power trip, either. I'm not familiar enough with them to call them by their first name, and they are not familiar enough with me to call me by my first name. I still cringe when young clerks call my parents or grandparents by a first name.

And really, this isn't a big deal. He's not a child, he's a young adult. Sometimes we have to deal with jerky people. Chalk it up to a great learning experience, one that is best learned as a young adult.

Sorry, but you are just SOOOOOOOO wrong!!!
On EVERY level.

Just as is the jerk teacher in the OP.

First, we are talking about a CHILD... not an adult.
Second, by any interpretation of the law, a persons middle name, as given on their birth certificate IS their official name. (not just a nickname)
Third, this is not about how the teacher wishes to be addressed... this is about how the student is addressed. The teacher is addressing the student with a name that he does not ever go by, and that is nothing less than RUDE. Addressing one as Mr. or Ms. So-and-so might considered appropriate and acceptable... Purposefully addressing one by a name or a term that they do not go by and do not feel comfortable with is a personal verbal assault. HUGE difference. Your analogy is beyond lame.

OP, I am so sorry to hear what kind of year your son is going to have with this one... Something tells me this is just the beginning, the tip of the iceberg!!!

I don't suppose there is any way to get a change in this class/teacher... Maybe with the guise of an important schedule change???? How many days has school been in session???

I feel for ya!!!!

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

OP here. Venting about this here has definitely helped calm me down. DS wasn't as worked up today as he was yesterday. He just gave a big sigh and told me that he'd only write Storm on everything he turns in. He was rather disgusted with me for placing a call to the teacher, but I promised to play nice and not embarass him. I think I'm just going to tell the teacher that DS has never answered to anything other than Storm and that I'd appreciate it if Storm is the name used in the classroom. I understand that he has to use Alexander on official stuff, but that's something we've dealt with his entire school career.

I am going to look into a legal name change. I rather like the flow of his full name as it is now. Alexander Storm Lastname goes much better than Storm Alexander Lastname but I don't think that matters too much to Storm.

 

[littleteapot]

I am going to look into a legal name change. I rather like the flow of his full name as it is now. Alexander Storm Lastname goes much better than Storm Alexander Lastname but I don't think that matters too much to Storm.

How about telling teacher "we are in the process of changing his name legally and don't want to add confusion by switching back and forth". He doen't have to know that thinking about it is where you are in the process.

 

[Honey81808]

As a teacher I call students by the name they request HOWEVER whats so bad about his first name that he doesn't like using it. Also your son is in the 9th grade and while I can see that as a parent it bothers you do you really think it's helping having you involved in something as petty as what name he is being called or is using? You can't helicopter him in High School let him fight this battle himself. The teacher will have more respect for him and you. I would find Storm to be a bit weird in my classroom unless he was an African queen that could control the weather. I'm not making fun but does your son wan to be an Indy wrestler or something? Storm is NOT a very professional name.