Grrr another Nut Job of a parent...

[Skywalker]

My son's class is going on an overnight field trip. They were asked to select partners (sort of a buddy system type thing I guess). My son had lots of kids want to be his partner (he's a popular little guy...doesn't take after me, lol). Anyway, he said yes to the first person that asked him and told the others he already had a partner.

THEN...I get an angry phone call from one of the mothers. Seems her son was upset that my son did not "pick" him for a partner. She said her son does not have many friends, and my son has been so nice to him since Kindergarten (they are in grade 5 now) that he assumed my son would go with him. She said he thought they were best friends. My son does consider him a friend, but there are about 10 other kids he considers closer. Still, bottom line was my son went with the first person that asked him anyway, he didn't pick and choose.

This lady said, and here's the quote "Well your son should never have befriended my son if he was going to go with other kids. My son thinks he has a best friend. It was like your son led him on and now he has to start from scratch and try and find a new best friend."



Say what now? So my son is mean because he befriended your son and then didn't make him His Best Friend. So my son did something wrong by being nice to your son?

This woman is FURIOUS! My son was nearly in tears over it.

Seriousy. WTH???

 

[Tinijocaro]

Oh, my! The lady is nuts. Don't give her the time of day.

 

[okeydokey]

I'm sure you explained to your son that he did nothing wrong and the one with the problem is the other Mom. Once you tell the lady that your son went with the fist who asked him, it is time to disengage. Sorry you feel that way, goodbye is always a fitting reply.

 

[indimom]

My son's class is going on an overnight field trip. They were asked to select partners (sort of a buddy system type thing I guess). My son had lots of kids want to be his partner (he's a popular little guy...doesn't take after me, lol). Anyway, he said yes to the first person that asked him and told the others he already had a partner.

THEN...I get an angry phone call from one of the mothers. Seems her son was upset that my son did not "pick" him for a partner. She said her son does not have many friends, and my son has been so nice to him since Kindergarten (they are in grade 5 now) that he assumed my son would go with him. She said he thought they were best friends. My son does consider him a friend, but there are about 10 other kids he considers closer. Still, bottom line was my son went with the first person that asked him anyway, he didn't pick and choose.

This lady said, and here's the quote "Well your son should never have befriended my son if he was going to go with other kids. My son thinks he has a best friend. It was like your son led him on and now he has to start from scratch and try and find a new best friend."



Say what now? So my son is mean because he befriended your son and then didn't make him His Best Friend. So my son did something wrong by being nice to your son?

This woman is FURIOUS! My son was nearly in tears over it.

Seriousy. WTH???

Oh, Good Lord, The Insanity Never Ends.
Just reassure your son that he did nothing wrong. Some kids do have a hard time making friends, so I feel for the other boy, but it certainly isn't your son's problem or fault.
In fact, it would probably be the best thing for this other child if your son wasn't ALWAYS there for him, he needs to expand his horizons a bit. It's a pity his mother can't see that and help him out with it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Oh good gracious that woman ins nutty. Yes, comfort your son and assure him he did nothing wrong.
I feel for you, your son AND the other boy. It is no wonder he has a hard time making friends if his mother treats people like that. She probably chases off the other parents (and therefore their kids) and she sure as heck does not set a good example.

 

[Dancemom03]

I lay all the blame right at your feet. Shame on you!...









... for raising a polite, caring, & popular child who's treated everyone so well for so long that they all think he's their best friend!


Seriously though, this mom is beyond helicopter. Next year, her son will be in middle school?? I really feel for him. It sounds as though, not only is he not very popular, but his mom is sure to embarass him in front of those who do like him...

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Wow, your poor son. All you can do is reassure your son he is fine for his choice.

Then I guess you can examine together how this mother is a "bully" and that giving into people like that ends up never to be good in the end.

Do a little role playing and give him some canned responses to build up his confidence.

 

[ICF]

she's psycho...stay away from her.

 

[PFlamingo]

This lady said, and here's the quote "Well your son should never have befriended my son if he was going to go with other kids. My son thinks he has a best friend. It was like your son led him on and now he has to start from scratch and try and find a new best friend."

Wow. Like they were dating or something.

Your DS did a very mature thing by choosing the first kid who asked him. That's a very fair way to choose when so many kids wanted to be his partner. I feel sorry for the other kid, though, especially with a mom like that.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

No wonder her son has a hard time making friends....

 

[Allison]

totally nuts

I wonder how many friends she has scared off.

 

[PatsMom]

Wow! With a mother like that, no wonder the poor kid has a hard time making friends.

I really don't have much to add to what others have said except to reassure your son that he did nothing wrong. Agreeing to buddy up with the first one who asked was reasonable.

 

[DawnCt1]

My son's class is going on an overnight field trip. They were asked to select partners (sort of a buddy system type thing I guess). My son had lots of kids want to be his partner (he's a popular little guy...doesn't take after me, lol). Anyway, he said yes to the first person that asked him and told the others he already had a partner.

THEN...I get an angry phone call from one of the mothers. Seems her son was upset that my son did not "pick" him for a partner. She said her son does not have many friends, and my son has been so nice to him since Kindergarten (they are in grade 5 now) that he assumed my son would go with him. She said he thought they were best friends. My son does consider him a friend, but there are about 10 other kids he considers closer. Still, bottom line was my son went with the first person that asked him anyway, he didn't pick and choose.

This lady said, and here's the quote "Well your son should never have befriended my son if he was going to go with other kids. My son thinks he has a best friend. It was like your son led him on and now he has to start from scratch and try and find a new best friend."



Say what now? So my son is mean because he befriended your son and then didn't make him His Best Friend. So my son did something wrong by being nice to your son?

This woman is FURIOUS! My son was nearly in tears over it.

Seriousy. WTH???

Wow, so how did the conversation end? Of course your son did nothing wrong, I am just wondering how one ends a conversation like this with an absolutely psycho? What did she expect was going to happen?

 

[FlightlessDuck]

It makes me kind of sad that this other kid thinks your son is his best friend and that he has no other friends.

 

[DawnCt1]

It makes me kind of sad that this other kind thinks your son is his best friend and that he has no other friends.

It is actually sad and in some ways, when there are kids in the class that do not make friends, easily or are socially awkward, they do better when they are assigned a partner. Its nice when kids can be with the partner they chose, but on the other hand, it does leave those kids out who never get picked. Its also nice when kids who would never chose a particular kid as a partner, get assigned that kid and have an opportunity to expand their friendships. Perhaps in this age group, assigning partners should have been the task of the teacher.

 

[tinkermom23]

she's psycho...stay away from her.

totally nuts

Similar situation happened here this summer. My advice.... Run!
If you try to fix it, it will get worse!! Everything I said or did got twisted and ended with DS10 and I both as "horrible, controlling, and evil!" (that's just what I can put into print!)

 

[Skywalker]

Wow, so how did the conversation end? Of course your son did nothing wrong, I am just wondering how one ends a conversation like this with an absolutely psycho? What did she expect was going to happen?

It didn't end well, lol. When she started going off on me, I had to ask my son what she was talking about because I thought my son had agreed to be his partner and then ditched him. But my son explained it to me and she even agreed that was what her son said happened...so I told her my son did not intend to be mean, he just literally had to say no because he was already asked. She still went on in a very snarky tone about how it was mean.

I told her I disagreed and thought it would be mean if my son ditched partners each time he got another offer. She said no, he should have reached out to her son because he KNOWS her son doesn't have people necessarily wanting to be partners.

So I explain basically as you all have even said here, my son is very thoughtful and did not want to play favourites among his friends and just went with the first person that asked. Not a big deal. Everyone else found another partner...even her son did! I don't think anyone else felt so rejected...Holy Crap...it is just a few kids picking partners.

Anyway we rehashed it a few times and since my son was right there he heard me defending him and he started getting upset that he'd done something wrong and yes I did reassure him that he did not.

She literally wanted me to reassure her that he would be switching partners, she wanted us to go to the teacher and request a change to her son. I said no, my son had a partner.

Bottom line, she hung up on me!!!

Her poor son. And he seems perfectly nice to me, who knows why he doesn't have many friends, except as some of you had said it ironically is probably because of her.

I understand not wanting to see your child hurt, I really, really do. But this was so over the top I don't know what prompted such a strong reaction.

And of course I am kind of sensitive about it all like my son is and it is nagging away at me like crazy.

I will actually be seeing her tomorrow night (our sons also take tae kwon do together..I am really wonder what she will say and if she will cause a scene there or will she be calmed down...)

 

[Skywalker]

It is actually sad and in some ways, when there are kids in the class that do not make friends, easily or are socially awkward, they do better when they are assigned a partner. Its nice when kids can be with the partner they chose, but on the other hand, it does leave those kids out who never get picked. Its also nice when kids who would never chose a particular kid as a partner, get assigned that kid and have an opportunity to expand their friendships. Perhaps in this age group, assigning partners should have been the task of the teacher.

Totally agree. Who needs the drama.

 

[hereyago]

Sounds she is CooCOO without the Coco Puffs!!!!!!!!!!!

Her poor son, and later in life she will wonder why he may not have anything to do with her.

 

[Skywalker]

It makes me kind of sad that this other kind thinks your son is his best friend and that he has no other friends.

It IS sad. And my son has always been nice to him...but now it is coming back to bite him in a way. My son said he never knew the boy considered him his best friend...my son is a 9 year old boy not a psychic or a social worker, you know?