Good Stimulus Joke

[NYPDwife]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

 

[disdanny]

What was wrong with the old fence?

I think spending even $700 on a new fence is an exorbitant waste of taxpayers money!

Plus, didn't Obama campaign on tearing down the fences of partisanship in Washington?

And just wait and see - there will probably be about 83 riders tacked onto the contract to fund the pet projects of representatives of every backwater hamlet you've never even heard of. Final cost of the new fence - $3.2 billion.

 

[Skatermom23]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

Unfortunately, it is probably true.

 

[Claudia1]

Funny! So sad it's true but it made me laugh!

 

[Hoodie]

What was wrong with the old fence?

I think spending even $700 on a new fence is an exorbitant waste of taxpayers money!

Plus, didn't Obama campaign on tearing down the fences of partisanship in Washington?

And just wait and see - there will probably be about 83 riders tacked onto the contract to fund the pet projects of representatives of every backwater hamlet you've never even heard of. Final cost of the new fence - $3.2 billion.

They'll probably find a rare frog in the fountain too that needs funding.

 

[LivelyLissa]

They'll probably find a rare frog in the fountain too that needs funding.

No no no....if they find a rare frog the project will be stopped because the frog must be saved. No fences will be allowed ever again in the greater Washington DC area! In addition, a 423 Billion dollar wetlands restoration project will be initiated to revert the entire city back to wetlands to save the frog and all the frog's decendents. Eminent Domaign will be employed to take the property of all land owners in DC. The frogs will then be given a vote in congress.

 

[4nana]

LOVE IT!! I'll have to show DH, he was a carpenter at the WH during Pres. Reagan's term!
No fences were involved, just the bomb shelter.

 

[JR6ooo4]

plus a few more monies (amount to be determined in the future) to fight STOF lobying!





























The "Save The Old Fence" coalition...

Mikeeee


oh and that is not a stimulus joke. it is SOP in illinois... has been, for decades upon decades.

 

[Anewman]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

Well the plan from the Chicago contractor does actually create more jobs...

 

[manning]

Unfortunately, it is probably true.

Coming from someone who lives in the chicago area........it is.

 

[MsDisney23]

Oh Boy!

 

[Muushka]

Can you make up a good one about the 30 million to be spent on the salt marsh mouse??? Nancy's pork

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

 

[a1tinkfans]

No no no....if they find a rare frog the project will be stopped because the frog must be saved. No fences will be allowed ever again in the greater Washington DC area! In addition, a 423 Billion dollar wetlands restoration project will be initiated to revert the entire city back to wetlands to save the frog and all the frog's decendents. Eminent Domaign will be employed to take the property of all land owners in DC. The frogs will then be given a vote in congress.

 

[travelbug]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

No no no....if they find a rare frog the project will be stopped because the frog must be saved. No fences will be allowed ever again in the greater Washington DC area! In addition, a 423 Billion dollar wetlands restoration project will be initiated to revert the entire city back to wetlands to save the frog and all the frog's decendents. Eminent Domaign will be employed to take the property of all land owners in DC. The frogs will then be given a vote in congress.

You're cracking me up here!

 

[winkers]

Don't forget that it'll take another 2 million to study the mating habits of the rare frog found in the fountain.

 

[Saxsoon]

Sadly this is true. I want the Stimulus Bill to work, but I just seeing this being used to cement Dem. Control for a long time.