Good Manners

[BRobson]

I am sitting looking through my notes for my trip report and thought I would ask my US pals a question on manners

In the UK when we eat out or have guests you dont remove the empty plates until everyone at the table is finished and the check is never put on the table until we ask or we are obviously finished

Is this the case in the USA ????

 

[luke]

god there's nothing worse than a waiter trying to take some empty plates while others still eat!!

 

[BRobson]

god there's nothing worse than a waiter trying to take some empty plates while others still eat!!

Thats what I thought - and it was my treat at the Grand Floridian too but it also happened in a couple of other places so thought it was maybe the norm???

 

[MenashaCorp]

You still use plates??

It's improper, but sadly very common for a restaurant server to remove settings as each person finishes. This is probably an effort to "turn the table" quickly as Disney (allegedly) does....

 

[BRobson]

You still use plates??

Only at the weekends and no forks and knives

 

[daneenm]

This is "proper" manners in the US too. However, it is my experience lately that unless you are at a really nice restaurant, servers often clear dishes before everyone is done. It doesn't only happen at Disney.

--Daneen

 

[BRobson]

The worst case we had was at lunch at The Grand Floridian Cafe !!! It was not busy so he did not need the table

He maybe just wanted to go home

 

[robind]

I agree, it seems all the restaurants are doing that more and more (it drives me crazy and affects their tip).

Except the buffet restaurants that let dirty dishes pile up all day long and never remove them.

 

[SamIAm21]

Now that you mention it, I notice this does happen quite often, although I must admit, I didn't realize it was bad manner to do so. I guess this does put undue stress on the party still eating though as if they should hurry up or something. I always thought it was a good thing to get my plate out from in front of me when I was done, that way I wouldn't continue to pick on it. But, I can certainly see why this would be bad manners.

It does happen quite often now that I think about it!

 

[drakethib]

I may be the odd ball but I would much rather have my plate taken away as soon as I am done eating.

 

[tinkbutt]

I think there might be two sides to this story....

I never knew this is what was considered good manners. maybe it is an age gap and it never trickled down? I am one of those people who would like my plate out of my way especially if they sit me at those "cozy" (tiny) tables for two. I actually stack my empty plates in the hopes that they will take them away!!!

 

[ms*mountaineer]

Now that you mention it, I notice this does happen quite often, although I must admit, I didn't realize it was bad manner to do so. I guess this does put undue stress on the party still eating though as if they should hurry up or something. I always thought it was a good thing to get my plate out from in front of me when I was done, that way I wouldn't continue to pick on it. But, I can certainly see why this would be bad manners.

It does happen quite often now that I think about it!

Same here - I didn't realize it was bad manners. I actually appreciate having the dirty plate removed. I've never assumed that meant they were trying to rush me - I just assumed they were being nice and trying to get the dirty dishes out of my way. Now that you mention it - it probably does help them turn the table quicker. But it doesn't make us move any quicker! No matter what kind of restaurant we're in (Disney or non-Disney) - we just finish at whatever pace we like.

 

[SamSam]

Same here, I didn't realize it was bad manners to remove plates before all were finished. I prefer dirty dishes to be removed immeadiately, so I'm glad that almost all restuarants seem to do this.

What I do not like is my second course being brought out before we have finished our first course. In fact, thanks to Kevin and John's advice, Dh and I now order 1 course at a time. It has certainly solved the problem.

 

[Cool-Beans]

It is considered rude to remove plates before everyone has finished, but very few restaurants are aware of this. I think very few Americans are aware of this.

Most people in America have the idea in their heads that "good manners" are whatever they like. The idea that we should all follow certain guidelines so that everyone is comfortable and knows who meant to insult and who didn't...it just became a bad thing. Most folks would consider the very idea "stuffy."

So, we have an entire country running around doing what they feel is correct and a bunch of people taking offense where none was intended, holding grudges, etc.

It is very confusing and causes some hard feelings.

Somewhere out there right now a woman is pissed off because the waitress hasn't yet removed her plate. Bet on it.

Nobody has any idea whether people were being rude or not. It is all completely subjective. People say things like "I think that is rude" and "Well, I don't." Nobody knows what is and isn't rude.

It's crazy!

 

[kittysomerville]

I used to work at a restaurant about 7 years ago when I was in college. (Applebee's) We were trained to take the dishes away as soon as the guest was done with them. We called it pre-bussing the table. There were two reasons for this. One was to keep guests from staring at dirty plates and to make room on the table for each course. The other reason was so when they were done, we could clean the table quickly for the next guests. I found that this was crucial during high volume nights!

My personal preference is that I'd rather have my dirty plates taken away as soon as I'm done. I'm one of those "if it's in front of me, I'll pick at it" people.

 

[BRobson]

I was just curious really and hadn't really noticed before this incident It doesn"t bother me either way

It is just one of these things that is automatic with me - and I am only 37 ( not some stuffy fart from the dark ages)

 

[disneyholic family]

I may be the odd ball but I would much rather have my plate taken away as soon as I am done eating.

i also like to have my plate taken away as soon as i'm done....

by the way, i was just in the UK where even at some really fancy restaurants, the dishes were cleared before everyone had finished...
but as is true of most restaurants i've eaten in, they first asked if i would like them to clear them away to give me more room....i always say yes..

and if i'm the last to finish, it doesn't bother me if other plates are taken off before i'm done...
whatever makes them comfortable...

 

[klam_chowder]

I try to "run my plate" so that I finish at about the same time as others in my party.

Unfortunately I eat much faster than DH so usually it means me eating the last quarter of my portion very s-l-o-w-l-y

cheers,

 

[cccm]

I waited tables at one of the top 20 busiest restaurants in the nation (privately owned) back in the late 80s/early 90s. We spent a lot of time learning how to properly serve. Which includes leaving the plates until all are done, unless specifically requested.

We also learned how to serve properly, how to place the salt/pepper properly for a blind person, how to assist diners in cracking their lobster if they needed help. I spent about 10 years working at this restaurant.

 

[MenashaCorp]

I try to "run my plate" so that I finish at about the same time as others in my party.

Unfortunately I eat much faster than DH so usually it means me eating the last quarter of my portion very s-l-o-w-l-y

cheers,

I have soooo been there! Heaven forbid Friend #5 orders a SALAD!!!!